She's a Kenobi and Rian Johnson will be thought of as a Genius

The movie was a misdirection. What can't be fixed is that it had bad holes in lore.What can't be fixed it the stupid horse chase. What can't be fixed is the "Ask me about my feminist Agenda".

What can be fixed and was probably on purpose was the misdirection of the movie.
> Skywalker was wasted? Probably will return.
>Snoke died for no reason. No he will be back, he looks like he has seen worse and we know Darth Maul was cut in two and survived in the official EU.
>Rey isn't anyone: This is a total lie.

Kylo even looks like he's lying, she is a Kenobi. The story of Star Wars follows the Skywalkers sure, but episode 1,2,3 follow Kenobi. At the end of EP 3 Kenobi fails to turn his friend back and the Skywalker line goes evil. At the End of 6 Luke turns Vader back ans Skywalkers go good. Now another Skywalker has gone evil and there is another Kenobi who can redeem him, and will. Snoke will come back, Rey will turn Kylo, they will fight Snoke and Kylo will probably die. This all leads into the Kenobi movie that comes out 2020 that shows his secret family. So in retrospect thought this movie was shit, the story misdirection will seem like a genius move.

>Kenobi + Skywalker = GOD JEDI

So Rey and Ben aren't sibblings, but lovers.

Obi-Wan is a great duelist but a mediocre Force user, he's been tooled by Maul and Dooku with the Force with ease. Rey is too powerful to be his.

I think you need to slow down, stop hyperventilating, and go outside.

>This all leads into the Kenobi movie that comes out 2020
>people unironically believe that it's coming out

...

>Obi-Wan is a great duelist but a mediocre Force user,

What was Obi-wan's power levels compared to the Yoda or Mace power levels?

>Snoke is the corruption in the force, a parasite that changes hosts upon death
>His previous host was palpatine
>It was his plan all along to get killed so he can possess Rey's body next
>Rey doesn't have parents, she is a clone made from skywalker DNA by snoke who planned to get the perfect body for decades
>That's why she only saw herself in the mirror. She's got no parents.
>Kylo turns good to save her once snoke takes over and she goes apeshit

My take on Episode 9. Reality will probably be much more boring than that.

Interesting theory, OP. But the fact remains that this movie does nothing and hints at nothing to keep me interested.

Doing that at this point would be more of a "oh no, TLJ was shit, let's change it" than "hahaha it was planned all along".

Obi Wan died 15 years before Rey was born.

>Obi Wan died 15 years before Rey was born.

>he doesn't know about Obi-wan's secret love life.

Even if this was all true.

Why the fuck would you wait till the 3 act of a trilogy to introduce your characters

>Doing that at this point would be more of a "oh no, TLJ was shit, let's change it" than "hahaha it was planned all along".

Could be, but think about Empire. Luke get's his hand cut off, and his ass kicked. His father is now the ultimate evil. Han is frozen and sent god knows where. Everything is terrible. Remember Luke becomes a Jedi Knight between the two movies kind of out of no where.

I'm willing to bet Rey is trained by Ghosts and they still hold onto that shit people thought from TFA that she must have been trained.

Obi Wan died 15 years before Rey was born.

Use your brain, kiddo. You can figure it out.

Grand Daughter. Success skips a generation.

based Jojo posters

>Why the fuck would you wait till the 3 act of a trilogy to introduce your characters

JJ likes to have mystery surrounding his stuff. He's not a strong closer though.

>Every main character needs to be from a special family
This kind of thinking needs to fuck off.

But at least at the end of ESB, you had just learned something that changed the course of the trilogy. Vader being Luke's dad and ending it on that note was just... Plus you wanted to know what was going to happen to Han. Things were left open for the next movie.

Even TFA left us with many questions. There is nothing like that in TLJ. By the end of it, every question is answered. Poorly, but answered. So there is no incentive to see what happens next.

Yoda>Mace>>Obi-Wan.

This is what Disney fans actually believe.

Incorrect

>Even TFA left us with many questions. There is nothing like that in TLJ. By the end of it, every question is answered. Poorly, but answered. So there is no incentive to see what happens next.

I agree it was shit way and if my "theory" turns out wrong then who the fuck knows what's going to happen because he literally killed this series. But think of it post watching the third movie and my theory being true, you would be like damn that whole entire movie just threw me off and set up this ultimate third act. Which is very much a JJ type thing. It also let's the Kenobi's finish with a high note, leading to the movie. Yeah more money!

>Even TFA left us with many questions

Not a big fan of JJ, but I think TFA worked because of this - IV formula with new "mystery boxes" that would allow any semi-decent director build an engaging story just by answering the questions.
Except Kennedy and Johnson didn't want an engaging story. Why build a story when you can just fuck the shit up?

>But think of it post watching the third movie and my theory being true, you would be like damn that whole entire movie just threw me off

Sure, I guess. And I hope that it comes out to be true, user. Still, I will skip the cinema this time and wait for it to come out on Netflix. I have lost my interest to see the rest.

This may explain why Mark hamill is so openly disdainful of how they treated Luke. He's in on it.

Balance to the force bs. If he's a Skywalker, she's a Palpatine.

>High

>This is what Disney fans actually believe.
Kek, I hate Disney though. I'm trying to think of how they fix this series from this huge cluster fuck.

NO NO NO

There's mystery

And there's not Giving character back ground of you Main Hero

So why is rey's back ground still a unexplained?

I'll tell you. Because Idiots will pay 45 dollars to see it/

>implying she won't be Rey Palpatine
Kylo lied to her because he knows that if Rey knew this she'd have legitimate claims to the First Order.

>So why is rey's back ground still a unexplained?
It's not. It was explained in the movie, retard.

I've heard that they're going to discover a new power greater than the Force; the Plot Device, wherein the Plot Device is capable of doing whatever magic it needs to do to further the will of the Plot.
Moreover, we will be introduced to a new Plot Master, Deus Ex Machina. She will be a CGI/puppet hybrid who dies in her first scene, after eating Bontha poop and trilling incoherently like a schizophrenic hobo.
You'll love it.

Its over Anikin my bloodline had the high ground the whole time.

>Balance to the force bs. If he's a Skywalker, she's a Palpatine.
I do think Snoke will turn out to be Plagueis or something something ultra powerful whatever. It would tie everything together in this nice little bow. He can't fucking die man.

Mostly, yes. I had a hard time rating TFA because the only new things in it were those questions that it left opened. TFA's quality depended mostly on what they were going to do from there, as the rest of the movie is uninspired.

For example: Is Rey a Mary Sue?
Well, if she is, the movie completely blows. But if there is a secret behind her skills, then it would explain it and potentially make it okay for her to be that good.

I always thought they were going to go the route of her being present at Luke's academy, and when the Knights of Ren fucked things up, Luke had her "hidden" on Jakku and wiped her memories. She could've been tempted to follow Ren, even if she was young, and that was the best way to protect her. That would bring more depth to her relation with Luke and Kylo, as they both already knew her in some way.

So why is she so good at everything? Simply because she's done it before, she just can't remember.

But no, it turned out she's a no body. Making her success at everything in TFA a complete lack of characterization. The Kenobi theory works also. Anything would have been better than "lol you're nobody". This works with almost every question left opened by TFA.

"I did under estimate your power!"

Lukes background wasn't explained either.

We knew he grew up on a desert planet with his uncle and aunt, and that he wanted to be a pilot.

We learned pretty much the same amount about Rey.

So Kenobi's actual kid was the shitty drunk parent. Awesome

Rian Johnson has mentioned stuff like "We had to kind of get Snoke out the way" and "Having Kylo defeat his master would make the snoke/Kylo dynamic interesting in the next film"

He is very much talking as if Snoke isn't dead.

>Brick
I did not know until today that this was the guy who directed that utter piece of garbage.

So you know she's really a junkers kid? And why is she good at everything right away?
Except that's wrong.
A: They explain why luke can fly really well
B: by movie 3 of the series you know luke is anakins/vaders kid you know how he's born in revenge of the sith...

Little different

>He is very much talking as if Snoke isn't dead.

Well of course, Maul lived so Snoke will.

>B: by movie 3 of the series you know luke is anakins/vaders kid you know how he's born in revenge of the sith
>Movie 3
>Revenge of the sith
So you are saying the 2 current movies are bad because Lukes story was set up better over the course of 6 movies...

And Rey can fly really well because she is literally being guided by the force, if you can't work that out by now then you're a fucking moron and shouldn't even try to discuss films.

We have learned about the same amount at this point as we knew about Luke in Empire.
Just because Reys parents being nobodies upset you that doesn't mean we haven't learned anything.

This is legit MGS-level theorycrafting.

The movie shit on all your fan theories, user. Why do you still cling to them?

Rey had intimate knowledge of how the Falcon flew, knew how t wield a fucking light saber, could do the jedi mind trick and fight off kylo ren without any training.

We know nothing about Rey except she's fucking the best at everything she does. We don't know why, we don't know anything about her past. Fuck we know shit about her personality.

1. We knew luke had a father named anakin who flew in the clone wars
2. We knew luke was pushy and ambitious like his father
3. we knew luke knew how to fly because of his t 36 flying
4. We knew lukes aunt and uncle were brutally murdered which drove him further
5. we knew luke was ballsy and crazy
6. Luke wasn't the best light saber fighter right away, he got his ass kicked by vader.
7. Luke had a fucking character arc
A. Impulsive and angry
B. Caring about his friends and broken hearted after empire
C. Becoming patient and forgiving his father

Rey has fucking what? In what fucking way has Rey changed? In what fucking way has Rey lost a fight?

She fucking sucks.

Yes

High Midichlorian count.

Not this guy, but come on. You know what he means. By ESB, Luke's background was fully explained and the movie left you with a "okay, so what happens now?" feeling.

And let us remind you that by the end of ESB, Luke was absolute shit at everything he did except piloting. He was shit at the Force, he was shit with a lightsaber, and the whole fight with Vader is a joke. Vader's not even trying, and you clearly see that. The training with Yoda just shows how young, naive and brash Luke is, much to Yoda's exasperation.

Rey, on the other hand, is good at literally everything in TFA, even to a point where she makes Han look stupid. This makes no sense from a narrative perspective, her being a kid abandoned on some backwater planet who never knew anything else. How can she know this much about the Falcon? How can she pilot it so good? How can she mind trick a stormtrooper on the first try? How can she block Ren's attempt to mind trick her? How can she beat him in a lightsaber fight when she never held one before then? Her being this good NEEDED to be explained, otherwise there is this thing called Characterization that is severely missing.

There is no point in following someone who is already the best at everything they try. Why even watch it?

And if you're interested in my theory on what big bad stupid weapon the First Order has, it will be some type of Sun Crusher thing. Something like that shit, though Star Killer base would effectively do the same thing by draining a star. Either way it's not interesting because they are not interesting.

None of that is important to non-autists.

>The movie shit on all your fan theories, user. Why do you still cling to them?
Did it?

>Rey had intimate knowledge of how the Falcon flew
Which was explained in the film.

>knew how t wield a fucking light saber
She was shown to have combat experience.

>could do the jedi mind trick and fight off kylo ren without any training
They made it abundantly clear the force was guiding her.

>She's a Kenobi and Rian Johnson will be thought of as a Genius

who cares at this point

...

Rey's isn't the child of somebody important, her parents were scavengers like her. She admitted it herself. Snoke's identity wasn't important: he was a red herring (and with the way he was killed off, his return is about as likely as Han's).

Wasn't the deal with Obi-Wan is that he is actually more on the Diplomatic side (Hence "The Diplomat"), he is indeed a great duelist, but what makes him a "Master" worthy of being on the council with Yoda and Mace as his peers is his social and mediating skills, which includes his "certain point of view" mentality.

I mean, his favored style is the least complex one if i remember the old EU shit right, don't get me wrong though, he is still the "perfect Jedi", because he is competent in everything and doesn't go over the top or make things needlessly complicated which is exactly why he is a master of said style.

>Denial
How cute

>Where she makes Han look stupid
When? You mean when she knows how to fix modifications done to the Falcon while it wasn't in Hans possession? Which he then finishes the explanation while she is still talking?

>How can she know this much about the Falcon?
Her boss owned it, and it's obvious by her knowledge of the modifications that she took part in making those changes for him.

>How can she pilot so good?
She has piloted ships before, and after pulling off crazy stuff she says she doesn't know how she did it. Which is part of the next point.

>How can she trick a stormtrooper/Block Ren mind trick
The force is literally guiding her. We hear Jedi masters from the past talking to her, and the lightsaber calls out to her. This is expanded on in TLJ as she is literally being pushed along by the force to balance things out with Kylo.

>Lightsaber fight
She had combat experience, and again, is being pushed along by the force in a fight against a guy who doesn't want to kill her and is injured.

I guess they needed to spell things out better for idiots like you.

>TFA worked because of this
Except it didn't.

>he is still the "perfect Jedi"
That's why I think (((they))) are going ruin him.

I'm not even going to bother breaking your headcanon. Glad you enjoyed it at least.

You are one stupid motherfucker.

if you have to explain it with several patches and cop outs it’s shitty writing. stop being a contrarian fag kid.

This guy looks like a good friend.

>We hear Jedi masters from the past talking to her, and the lightsaber calls out to her.
Literally one Jedi Master.

>She had combat experience
When she got her ass kicked by some randos in Jakku? Hahahah
get fucked mouselover

>Rian Johnson will be thought of as a Genius
only if there was something in the Last Jedi that foreshadows that reveal, user.

and Luke wasn't wasted though, it's just the people who wrote the story didn't seem to have watched the OT and have a clear grasp of his character.

>Yoda and Obi Wan
That's two.

>Got her ass kicked
You're literally lying to make a point. Weird how she got her ass kicked, but was the one left standing and Finn didn't have to intervene after he started to run over to help.

>Headcanon
Sorry that the film was too complicated for you and you missed all the subtle clues explaining everything.

I know this is from a while ago, but is everyone forgetting Luke's parentage was never made out to be a deal?

He had parents, they were dead, alls fine. It's the fact that Rey's parentage was brought up as important throughout two movies that it was stupid to have them be nobodies.

I think this is basically correct.

IIRC Mace is an unparalleled duelist, not merely because he beat Palpatine (if you believe that) but within the Order he was considered top dog with a saber. Yoda edges him out in force ability/wisdom, though.

Obi Wan was considered a top tier swordsman and sat on the council - and he did beat Anakin, holding his own throughout the entire fight before Anakin did that dumb flip. He considered the unrivaled master of form III saber fighting.

/eu shit

>Snoke will

>That's two.
I just rewatched it and I heard only Kenobi.

Literally nothing happens in the movie then. Genius indeed.

Yoda is in there as well, although I'll admit they fucked up the audio mixing and it's not as clear as Kenobi.

billion dollar nothing. I don't know man. Like it's weird as fuck DESU.

What does Mace have over Obi Wan, swordsmanship wise?

No, she's Qui Gon's niece

From a duelist perspective you guys are on point
Pure duelist ranking I'd probably put Yoda and Mace neck-and-neck. But force atunement plays too huge a role in effective dueling. It's synergy. Yoda has the years over Mace, which makes him look even better given how skilled he is. Obi-Wan's mastery of a purely defensive style and ability to adapt to his surroundings was what made him so damn effective. Yoda, like Sheev, are forces of nature; the top of the mountain in terms of force power which inherently bleeds into their dueling abilities. I think Sheev relying on the seeds his sewed in Anakin were a huge gambit; where one misstep could've easily cost him his life vs Mace.

>Snoke will come back, Rey will turn Kylo, they will fight Snoke and Kylo will probably die

I also immediately thought all of this will happen when I watched ep 8

>they were shity drunks because Kenobi was a sex addict and runaway dad

He is SO deep and interesting now!

If any of those things happen it'll be because of backlash and JJ fucking over Rian's movie like Rian fucked over JJ's.

>tfw no alternate timeline movie where Anakin doesn't kill Mace

Mace got a unique style that draws from the Dark Side (but not too much) for additional aggression.

Meanwhile Obi-Wan uses a traditional defensive one that most "Generic" Jedi use and the other forms are specializations from, The in-universe justification for why the IV duel is so "slow", Obi-Wan can counter basically anything Vader can throw on him and Vader knows it from experience, so he doesn't overextend and backs regularly to avoid BISECTION again.

It is worth noting that after VI the traditional "forms" all died and it took a LOOONG before Lightsaber fencing became "styles" again, and even then radically different and unrefined ones since Luke was self taught and so were basically all of the people he manged to find for his order.

Was a long ass time since i read this style shit, so might got some detail wrong.

As much as I do loathe fanwankery and EU nonsense I always wondered how "Elseworld" style SW tales would pan out. Different directors telling alternate tales, self-contained singular movies that don't fuck with canon or continuity.

But god forbid we'd want to do something creative and new with a 40 year old IP that's been near bled to death, right?

>>Qui Gon's niece
>not Kid Fista's second cousin's wife's son
one job user

you would think ghost obi and ghost yoda could teach luke some forms

>"certain point of view" mentality
HIGH GROUND

suddenly it all makes sense

This.