You're angry about Star Wars, I get it

You're angry about Star Wars, I get it.

Use this thread to scream incoherently about it.

REEEEEE THEY MADE A GOOD VS EVIL STORY INSTEAD OF LE DEEP DECONSTRUCTION LIKE MY FAVOURITE VIDEOTOY!!!

I'm really not though, this "outrage" is completely overblown

Stat Wars is boring as hell and I could barely get through the first movie

Lord of the Rings shits all over it

what movie did you watch? they deconstructed everything

EVERYTHING

especially Snoke's torso

OOBA DOOBA DOOBAS

That's the opposite of what they did. The problem is that they were really bad at it

Why? I've been coherently screaming about it all week.

Yup. Just saw it tonight finally.
Just felt so average. More SJW
pandering (purple hair feminazi saves the day?). Just felt cheesy. Like the people who are making the film do not even
like Star Wars. Sad to be honest . I guess all we have is the Marvel machine to
look forward to these days.

>no... NO! Y-you have to like it! W-why don't you like it!

Ooba

How can they make a movie that has worse story than a video game

>A lot happens, but every scene is brief and insipid, devoid of any feeling
>Entire fucking lengthy subplot of nignog and chubby 4/10 vietcong amounts to nothing but their capture just to strengthen their 'bond' (which we the audience felt nothing for)
>So nignog nobly goes to sacrifice himself to stop the canon, but she idiotically saves him out of love, surely dooming them all (if not for avatar Luke)
>Didn't Phasma die in the last one? Here she is again for a moment. Buy our action figures.
>Following Princess Leia Organa, the next in command is naturally... this out-of-nowhere purple-haired dyke with an insufferable, pushy attitude who chit-chats with Leia like we should know they're long-time buddies
>Luke drinking his protein shake. I can't believe it's not milk.
>No two lightsabers make contact in the entire film. Luke could have died in a meaningful battle like Obi Wan, but decidedly appeared as a hologram avatar
>Goldmember is finally revealed, and it doesn't matter.
>In an entire galaxy, the Resistance is a small fleet of vessels and the First Order is run by incompetent monkeys
>Hey, remember Yoda? Just look at that CGI
>Porgs $$$ and crystal foxes $$$. Buy our action figures!
If there's anything to take away from this sorry mess, it's Adam Driver.

>A lot happens, but every scene is brief and insipid, devoid of any feeling
this, so much fucking this. 2 and a half hours of what felt like jump cuts. so much stupid bullshit packed in that was completely uneccessary that no one cared about

>Why didn't Holdo tell anyone the plan?
>Why didn't the First Order just send some of the Star Destroyers with them to cut off the rebels??
>Why didn't the TIE fighters just keep attacking and take out the rebels?
>Why didn't Holdo just leave a droid or something piloting the Raddus instead of sacrificing herself?
>How did Finn survive going through the mini Death Star laser unscathed when it was fucking melting his speeder?
>Why didn't a single fucking AT-AT shoot at him when he was doing this dumb shit?
> Or when he and Rose were kissing?
>Or when he dragged Rose 3 fucking football fields back to the base?
>Was it just out of courtesy, did the fucking First Order not want to be bad sports and overkill some rebel scum?
>HOW IN THE MOTHERFUCK DOES LUKE HAND LEIA THE DICE IF HE'S A GODDAMN FORCE ILLUSION THAT CAN'T ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH ANYTHING? SHE FUCKING HOLDS THE DICE WHAT THE FUCK????
>HOW THE FUCK DOES KYLO PICK THEM UP LATER??

What did I miss?

>people falling for the obvious Disney shill poster trying to damage control the threads by centralizing the dislikes

I thought the quips were really clever! xD

Why do we only have 2 fucking awful video games and a million awful phone games since Disney bought it? Fuck that money grabbing mouse.

I hated this movie. It's a spiritual attack against fans of Luke, people who were inspired by his story.

Oh wait you said incoherent
FUCKKCTHOSeHFUCKKINGKIKESILSWEILLKILLTHEMAGAFORTHEMSA

>tfw thought of pic related when DJ talked

PHASMA IS LITERALLY THE STAR WARS EQUIVALENT OF KENNY FROM SOUTHPARK
VICE ADMIRAL HOLDO DIDNT BOTHER TELLING EVERYONE HER ESCAPE PLAN
ROSE-FINN ROMANCE PLOT WAS WRITTEN BY A FUCKIN TWEEN
ROSE-FINN SUBPLOT ON CASINO PLANET WAS A WASTE OF TIME
SUPERGIRL LEIA LOL WTF
GRAVITY IN SPACE
HERMIT LUKE FORGETS THE EXACT LESSONS HE LEARNED FROM ESB+ROTJ
SNOKES ORIGIN UNEXPLAINED
LUKE DIES B/C PROJECTING YOURSELF IS SUPPOSED TO BE SUICIDAL? LOLWUT
REY ENDED UP ON FALCON AT END OF MOVIE HOW
FINN AND ROSE DIDNT GET VAPORIZED BY THE PSEUD DEATH STAR LASER HOW?
ITS ABOUT SAVING THE ONES WE LOVE, LOLWUT THATS NOW HOW WAR WORKS SWEETHEART
WE DONT WANNA LAUGH EVERY 30 SECONDS IN STAR WARS
FUCKING
STUPID
PORGS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*BARGES OUT KNOCKING A BUNCH OF SHIT OVER* FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUCK…………….FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK *STARTS KNOCKING EVERYTHING OVER, I PULL A BOOKCASE DOWN AND I KNOCK A TABLE OVER AND SMACK ALL THE SHIT OFF THE SHELVES* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

>implying I don't have like 10 star wars hate threads open in order to try and soothe the pain I am experiencing from having my childhood gangraped to death by bitching about the terrible dumpster fire of a movie

NOT DONE I AM
SO LUKE HAD A BOOKSHELF OF ANCIENT TEXTS AND DIDNT READ THEM
FORCE GHOSTS CAN USE THE FORCE, LOL WHY DONT THEY JUST TEAM UP AND STOP BAD SHIT FROM HAPPENING PERIOD
YOU CANT HYPERSPACE INTO STAR CRUISERS THAT SIZE BECAUSE THEY HAVE GRAVITY WELL GENERATORS THAT STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING, ITS ESTABLISHED IN THE LORE
EVEN THEN, WHY DOES SOME NOBODY LIKE PURPLE HAIR LESBO DO IT THAT I DONT CARE ABOUT INSTEAD OF SOMEONE LIKE ADMIRAL ACKBAR
MAZ IS CONTACTED FOR ADVICE WHICH IMPLIES THEY HAD COMMUNICATIONS SO WHY NOT CALL OUT ALLIES FOR HELP FROM THE GET GO
ESB OPENING SCENE EXCEPT ITS IN SPACE GUYS, AND ALSO IN REVERSE BECAUSE THEY RETREAT TO HOTH EXCEPT REMEMBER ITS NOT SNOW, ITS SALT AHAHA GOTEEEM
KYLO DIDNT ASK REY FOR NUDES (i jest b/c that was probably one of the few cool things explored in the movie)

Does anyone has the Yoda webm ? I want to see what he looks like.

OP here, I just thought it would be funny. Hate to ruin your conspiracy.