Ahsoka Edition
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First for bros.
ayo das the wrong ahsoka mayne
WTF, I love Jar Jar now!
...
...
Reposting form previous thread
What if there was a clone of Sheev running around, but the clone is its own person, their own mind and so forth, just happen to have the same genetic makeup of the late Emperor?
What if he wanted nothing to do with the Sith and just wanted to be a freighter jockey going planet to planet delivering goods to provide for his family?
>you will never get high off spice with a twi'lek girl and bang
What happened to her?
I would prefer it if the new canon didn't follow literally every plot point of the EU.
It would make a funny skit for a Star Wars parody, a perfectly normal freighter pilot struggling with an innate genetic urge to be a megalomaniacal dictator.
Dellow felegates,
I present to you the /swco/ Star Wars Impression Challenge
soundgasm.net
Instructions are explained in the first minute, whole thing's around 23 minutes long, or skip to whichever character(s) you want to do.
Suggested sites for uploading audio;
soundgasm.net
vocaroo.com
mixtape.moe
Characters, line and times follow.
> Anakin Skywalker - 0:58
They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!
They're asking you back, Ahsoka. I'm asking you back.
From my point of view the Jedi are evil.
> Obi-Wan Kenobi - 1:35
You were the Chosen One! It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them!
It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the weak embrace it
He was the best star-pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. And he was a good friend.
So, what I told you was true... from a certain point of view.
> Qui Gon Jinn - 2:30
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
He is the chosen one...he will...bring balance...train him!
> Jar Jar Binks - 2:59
Yee gads, whata mesa sayin?!
Mesa propose dat da Senate give immediately emergency powers to the Supreme Chancellor.
> Sheev Palpatine - 3:27
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"?
The force is strong with you. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth Vader.
I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Strike me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the dark side will be complete.
> Darth Maul - 4:30
At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.
I never planned on killing you, but I will make you share my pain, Kenobi.
> Yoda - 4:59
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.
Do. Or do not. There is no try.
>You will never get space high off of space weed with your space friends and then space crash on their space couch in space
Feels bad senpai
> Mace Windu - 5:31
I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The dark side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor.
> Boba/Jango/Clones - 6:00
I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.
He's no good to me dead.
Watch Those Wrist Rockets
> Count Dooku - 6:23
Brave, but, foolish, my old Jedi friend. You are impossibly outnumbered.
Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.
> Cad Bane - 6:47
That would be me. Cad Bane, at your service. I'll take on any job... For the right price.
> Hondo Ohnaka - 7:11
Oh, the stories I could tell. So many of them true.
I may not be as young as I once was, but I'm older.
But you know what I always say: Speak softly and drive a big tank.
> General Greivous - 7:52
You Fool. I have been trained in your Jedi Arts... by Count Dooku.
Anakin Skywalker. I expected someone with your reputation to be a little... older.
> Ezra Bridger - 8:30
How we choose to fight is just as important as what we fight for.
Stand up together. Because that's when we're strongest—as one.
> Kanan Jarrus - 8:54
Come with me, and be trained in the ways of the Force. You can learn what it truly means to be a Jedi.
> Zeb - 9:09
Karabast
Oh, Karabast
Karabast
> Agent Kallus - 9:23
The Lasat calmly walked through smoke and fire to finish off my unit one by one.
You will never spend hilarious amounts of money making your freighter more comfortable than a house so you don't need to buy property on a planet ever.
> The Grand Inquisitor - 9:43
It means you are what I once was: a Knight of the Jedi Order.
> Grand Admiral Thrawn - 9:56
To defeat an enemy you must know them. Not simply their battle tactics, but their history, philosophy, art.
> Cassian Andor - 10:19
You're not the only one who lost everything. Some of us just decided to do something about it.
> Director Orson Krennic - 10:35
Are we blind? Deploy the garrison! Move! %
> Chirrut Imwe - 10:48
I'm one with the Force and the Force is with me. I'm one with the Force and the Force is with me. I'm one with the Force and the Force is with me. %
> Luke Skywalker - 11:04
But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!
I am a Jedi like my father before me.
You can either profit by this or be destroyed. It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
> Darth Vader - 11:42
What is thy bidding, my master?
No, I am your father.
Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.
> Han Solo - 12:13
Boring conversation anyway. Luke! We're going to have company!
Never tell me the odds.
It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs. %
> Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin - 12:34
I think it is time we demonstrate the full power of this station. Set your course for of Alderaan.
> C 3PO - 12:48
Hello, I am C 3PO, human cyborg relations
Thank the maker! This oil bath is going to feel so good.
> Lando Calrissian - 13:08
Why you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler. You've got a lot of guts coming here, after what you pulled.
> Admiral Ackbar - 13:30
It's a trap!
> Finn - 13:36
This is a rescue. I'm helping you escape. Can you fly a Tie Fighter?
Rey, you're a pilot, you can fly anywhere, why go back? You got a family? You got a boyfriend, cute boyfriend?
> Poe Dameron - 13:59
Well I ain't using it. F-N huh? Finn. I'm gonna call you Finn, is that alright?
They're banging
Explain.
> Kylo Ren - 14:11
Show me again, the power of the darkness, and I will finish what you started.
You know I can take whatever I want.
> Armitage Hux - 14:35
All remaining systems will bow to the First Order! And will remember this... as the last day of the Republic!
> Padme Amidala - 15:01
So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.
I call it agressive negotiations.
Anakin, You're breaking my heart
> Ahsoka Tano - 15:28
I'm the new Padawan learner. I'm Ahsoka Tano.
When I was out there, alone, all I had was your training and the lessons you taught me and because of you, I did survive.
I'm sorry master but I'm not coming back.
I am no Jedi.
> Asajj Ventress - 16:14
I will see Count Dooku dead. I swear it.
Don't flatter yourself, Kenobi. You've never been one to look at. Especially now.
> Barriss Offee - 16:38
I don't have all the answers, Ahsoka. Like you I'm a learner. What does your Master tell you?
I've learned that trust is overrated. The only thing the Jedi Council believes in is violence!
> Luminara Unduli - 17:03
This assassin, I've… I've never faced an adversary like her. I should have listened to your advice.
> Aayla Secura - 17:21
Sometimes it takes courage to stick to one's beliefs, young Padawan.
I thought it pissed people off because it was different from the EU
please point me towards Krennic in the Eu because I would LOVE more material about him. Even if it's not canon.
> Shaak Ti - 17:32
You are where you need to be. Solve your problems as a whole, not as individuals.
> Mother Talzin - 17:47
Follow us, son of Dathomir. Follow me, lost one. Come, child of Dathomir.
> Bo Katan Kryze - 18:12
Yes, and Maul will die! But Mandalore will survive! We always survive.
> Satine Kryze - 18:26
Remember my dear Obi-Wan, I loved you always... I always will.
> Hera Syndulla - 18:43
We are fighting a bigger fight but it's still the right fight.
It doesn't matter where we come from, Admiral. Our will to be free is what's going to beat you.
We fought for each other. We fought for those who could not. But we never imagined it would end like this.
> Sabine Wren - 19:26
We're not exactly anything. We're a crew. A team. In some ways, a family.
My family didn't stand with me. They chose the Empire. They left me.
I'm not Mandalore’s leader, but I’ll find the person who is.
> Seventh Sister - 20:00
Well then, my brave, young boy, come and prove it!
> Arihnda Pryce - 20:12
They fight so hard to gain so little.
> Jyn Erso - 20:21
You give way to an enemy this evil, with this much power and you condemn the Galaxy to an eternity of submission. The time to fight is now.
> Leia Organa - 20:38
Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?
Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerfherder!
I love you.
> Mon Mothma - 21:11
Many Bothans died to bring us this infomation.
> Rey - 21:22
I didn't know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.
You. You're afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.
> Captain Phasma - 21:48
You can't be so stupid as to think this will be easy. My troops will storm this block and kill you all.
> Maz Kanata - 22:02
That lightsaber was Luke's. And his father's before him and now, it calls to you!
> Jabba the Hutt - 22:22
> Chewbacca - 22:35
> Poggle the Lesser - 22:46
> R2-D2 - 22:55
How were they friends? I mean they met one time.
You know, now I think about it I am amazed at the lack of space gypsies in Star Wars
You never come across a ship that's also a family home, complete with washing pegged out between the engines to help dry it out
There was a Palpatine clone in the EU.
Who strangely looked nothing like Palpatine.
the scene where Finn finds out the jacket it Poe's
that's why people ship them, too. It's a bit ridiculous. Though, Poe's read of those lines were a bit odd
I can imagine him looking at a shipping manifest, seeing some item of power, suddenly slipping into thoughts of how to use it to control the galaxy, then shakes it off realizing he won't get paid for his shipment, and he needs to put food on the table and send his kids to college.
Met one time and only avoided a massive argument because they were shot down. Considering how readily Finn ditched Rey and Han to carry on running from the First Order, I imagine he'd have gotten into a huge fight with Poe about his mission if they'd somehow evaded the Finalizer
Yeah, I'm not sure what Oscar was thinking, especially with that lip bite. Unless he was just playing up the inevitable shipping angle of course. I mean, if you map the new trio to the OT trio, Finn is the Han and Poe is the nearest one to the Leia
Which character with an undetermined fate in canon do you most want closure on?
Hard mode: No Bariss.
Hondo
He said in an interview he was. I'd bet money this was all planned, so that they could get their token gay couple and seem progressive.
Poor flattie just can't catch a break, can she?
Even interdictors are thiccer.
COMPLETE
Wasn't that clone literally inhabited by Sheev's force spirit?
I think might be thinking closer to Krieger from Archer, who is a clone of someone(Hitler for Krieger) but acts nothing like the original.
>Clone Palpatine uses a blue lightsaber
Nice Ahsoka pic you got there OP.
This is why the old EU had to go
>"I won't leave you, Not this time."
>Leaves him
nwf
I wish we could just distill the more batshit aspects of he EU and spin them off into their own thing.
The whole Trioculus/Triclops thing by itself is so beautifully stupid, and that's not even going into the stuff like Han fighting giant ferrets, Aliens using pheromones to rape Leia and the Emperor Palpatine Medical Reconstruction Center.
Inquisitors/Vader likely exterminated the force sensitive elders along with the queen and took any force sensitive children to use for their own ends.
Sheeve told Jar Jar he sent her away on an important mission to a farm far far away in the unknown regions.
What's wrong with EmPal SuRecon?
but she didn't :^)
Why is nobody able to just settle down and live out their years in peace, surrounded by their loved ones, in the Star Wars Universe?
>Rey is Luuke
The bad guys want to rule so they try to subjugate, and the good guys need to fight the good fight
just go to the unknown regions, if you really want to get away. I doubt they'd come for you out there.
Because the plot is a voracious and all devouring beast that constantly demands to be fed struggle and strife
Beside, it is Star WARS. Kind of hard to sell that name if its on the cover of a thirty volume slice of life comic about Han and Leia's idyllic home life
>You'll need a complete technical readout of the station.
>There's one in the Imperial archive on Scarif.
>I titled the file 'Stardust'.
>That's important. We wouldn't want you to pick a file from one of the likely thousands stored in the archive tower based on a hunch.
Thank goodness Galen was so precise and meticulous.
Otherwise Jyn would have lugged a random file up to the transmitter without reading it, and the alliance would realise too late that it spent so many lives and so much resources stealing the designs for a new cost-effective toilet.
>new cost-effective toilet
well, rebelion needs money so this would be useful.
>YWN have a fat Gungan Waifu/husbando
Stardust was his nickname for her, and he named the file that specifically so she would immediately find it.
A mix of the Galaxy being embroiled in planet destroying warfare every 20-30 years and advertising demand that popular characters be brought for every event.
And more importantly its a complete break from the other names Cassian was reading out, its the kind of thing that would attract attention without attracting Imperial attention
Who the fuck knows.
"Project codenames:
Stellar Sphere
Warmantle
Black Saber
Easter Egg
Stardust
Luuke
Bigger Luke
S.N.O.K.E.
Honky Donkey
Bigger Luuke
Galaxy Gun"
Bit on the nose there, Edwards. Sheesh.
So what do you think?
Does Filoni ever draw secret r34 of his creations?
If so, would that be the holy grail of star wars concept art?
I don't understand the Clovis/Banking Clan arc in TCW. I get that the Sith somehow planned everything, but how exactly does it work? Like, why did the Muuns have to give all control to the Republic in the end? Why does the Republic Senate even get to decide if somebody should be the new leader of the banks or not? Isn't the Banking Clan neutral?
And it just bothers me how chill both sides are with each other (until the fighting starts, of course). I mean, on Coruscant, they talk about how they don't recognise the CIS government and don't want as much as to even negotiate with the Separatists. But then we have Padme and a Separatist representative standing behind Clovis and casually chatting like "hey, how are you doing, I hope this thing goes well, so that we can both get our money to keep annihilating each other's fleets"
Pryce defeating Thrawn in hand to hand combat and then bullying him into hot BDSM sex when?
>clean shaven
>in the uniform
Best Galen is hottest Galen
When Thrawn grows bored of Eli.
so, never
At first, with all the talk of deregulating the banks, I thought they were going full political satire like the way George made Palpatine a satire on Bush in the PT. Except this time Sheev would be Bill Clinton.
But I guess it ended up being more like... forceful nationalisation of the banks?
Honestly, I can't tall what the empire is supposed to be a satire of any more. Just an amalgam of bad stuff, I guess.
>gay shit
Fuck off with that garbage.
You know it's true. He's obsessed with his Watson, like any Holmes.
I didn't even say they were fucking though. You're projecting, user
>Isn't the Banking Clan neutral?
That was precisely the problem. The Banking Clans were claiming neutrality, but were secretly bankrolling the CIS and hoping for a Separatist victory. Once that came out in public, Palpatine had the justification he needed to sweep in and seize the Clan's assets as punishment for their deception
>Implying Thrawn wouldn't be into BDSM anyway.
>Implying it would be anything other than a steamy bedroom battle for dominance between two dom(me)s.
He already sent his Watson away though :^)
Nute Gunray's porn stash
It's not impossible to think Thrawn is gathering the best, and bringing it back to the ascendency. That makes sense, considering he sent Eli, and how he isn't present in the rest of the universe.
god I hope he is in 8/9. unknown regions explanations WHEN
Watson regularly left Holmes alone
Or do you think Holmes left notes like "Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient come all the same" lying around 221b for Watson when he got in with the milk?
>they fit together because they are polar opposites and each of them is good at something the other is terrible at
>the one thing they have in common though is that they are good at hand to hand combat
>they spend their nights rolling around the bedroom floor fighting for dominance
I'm willing to believe it.
Yeah, but since they're not with the Republic, the public opinion within the Republic doesn't matter and the Republic still has no jurisdiction.
Like, "So, yeah, we are corrupt and we back the Seps. What are you going to do about it? You still have to come to us to ask for money."
>Pyrce is the wettest she's ever been in her entire life
>Thrawn just thinks she's very keen on defending herself
>he doesn't understand the Holmes/Watson dynamic
one of the first lines is how he doesn't speak for days at a time iirc
>Thrawn is absolutely clueless and innocent
>Pryce is upon him like the wild cougar she is
I'm even more willing to believe it.
They're neutral on the conflict, they're still a part of the Republic hence why they have a Senator in the Republic Senate
The Senate is more like a legally binding United Nations, and if the Republic goes to war its perfectly acceptable for its members to declare their neutrality independent of the Republic's decision. Hell that forms a major plot point for the Mandalore arcs
>Oo-la-wang choo koo-chee-pa-tie tan-ga ris-pa ta ya lee oh. Yo, ahh, yal-lie
What did he mean by this, /swco/?
But that hardly gives the Republic jurisdiction on who should or shouldn't be in charge of the banks. It's an internal matter.
Because if they refuse to accept the person and trade with them the banks have no one to give money to.
The Clan is in charge of the banks, and the Clan just got outed as, at best, traitors to the Republic or at worst outright war profiteers exploiting both sides for a profit
The Republic is within its rights to take over the Clan and by extension all the assets they control as punishment for those crimes and to choke further support for the CIS.
Besides, Palpatines entire sweep to power was founded firmly in Inter arma enim silent leges, and that seems to be a principle the Senate is happy to support
Did the CIS leadership know that's Palps was Sidious?
>Rey's special ability in Battlefront II is mind control
DARK SIDE BABY HERE WE COME
KYLO WAS THE HERO ALL ALONG
I doubt it, they only communicated with Sidious through holograms with the voice distorted and his face in shadow. I imagine some of them suspected before the Wars, but after they started they probably stopped worrying or decided that there's no way Sidious would play both sides like that since there didn't seem to be a profit in it
Autism.
>mind control is dark side
You can go back to with the rest of the plebians.
>the banks have no one to give money to.
They still have the Seps?
This makes more sense, thanks.
But in that case why couldn't it be simply "Look, Senator Amidala just brought us evidence that the Banking Clan are traitors! Let's invade and take over immediately!", why did the plan have to involve setting up a puppet leader and staging a CIS invasion?
Source?
I feel bad for Pryce.
>mfw I just realized the KOTOR theme is just a reworked Rebel Alliance theme
youtu.be
youtu.be
Dude, its straight up called "mind control" and its for a videogame. They aren't going to bitch out and just give you a Jedi Mind Trick to use on Stormies coming at you
Having Rey and Kylo switch roles would be fucking ballsy and the EXACT pottery twist that the sequel trilogy needs
It's the "twist" that everyone on the planet is expecting though.
But frankly I would be ok with it because Rey would work better as a villain, and at least this is a new idea that wasn't ripped straight from the OT.
(Unless you're going to stretch what happens in ROTJ, but I wouldn't count that)
I will say this, before what happened at the end, Zahn really made me like Pryce. She'd been hammered down again and again by Imperial politics, and again and again she managed to claw her way back up, losing pieces of her humanity and compassion every time
I doubt they'll go so far as to switch sides, but I do think they will end up meeting in the middle as a symbolic peace between their factions
Kylo's not cut out for the true depths of the Dark Side, and Rey's already touched the Dark when she got her second wind on Starkiller. I think they could balance each other out
>Trilogy of kids movies
>Switch out the main character halfway through the trilogy
>Girls no longer have a hero role model to look up to
Only a fool would think anything like that would ever happen.
>tfw you'll never date Pryce
Hope you're ready for all the ranting and spam of Rey being better than anyone in both the Light and Dark Side of the Force.
Either that, or bitching over how they made Rey evil because the heroes can't handle a competent woman who makes all the weak men look like fools.
Do the Kaminoans realize that their employer looks and sounds exactly like the leader of the Separatists?
How much do they know about the Sith plot?
Asian girl
Well one of their scientists actively helped cover up Order 66, so I'd say at least their biochip designers were aware of the plot. Not sure about the Sith part though, they probably just assumed Palpatine was a power hungry madman with the foresight to eliminate the Jedi before they stopped him
Anyone who thinks Jedi Rocks is a better song then Lapti Nek should be directed to this video: youtube.com
KamiNO FUCKS GIVEN
>The "twist" that everyone on the planet is expecting
This is completely and utterly false. Normal audiences aren't expecting anything even close to this and most big fans reject the idea of Kylo becoming a hero and Rey a villain.
Victory Celebration more than makes up for whatever awkwardness arose from Jedi Rocks.