There's been a disturbing lack of comfy Harry Potter recently due to the influx of that space film...

There's been a disturbing lack of comfy Harry Potter recently due to the influx of that space film. Let's discuss Harry Potter, what life would be like at Hogwarts, what kind of magic you'd practice, let's point out plotholes and rationalize them, completely overthink the inner workings of a universe made for a series of books aimed at children, and talk about our favourite film, and the future of the Extended Universe and what you'd like to see happen in it in the coming years.
You know, like we used to do.

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user here. Harry potter is nice

I liked Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

So did I, was a pleasant surprise. Interested in the next one even though the title "The Crimes of Grindelwald" is objectively a terrible title. Still, I wonder how Depp's character will be like, and how Jude Law works as a younger Dumbledore.

Also that fat guy from your pic needs to return, he was great.

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I remember when Sup Forums used to discuss how Harry Potter was and still is one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

D R O P P E D
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Harry Potter is so comfy. The way that it starts at th ebeginning of the year nad the buy the end of the year it's the end of the movie, that shit is so comfy to me.

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explain the hogwarts train

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The cursed child is a very bad book and its no canon like mouse films

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Reminder that Yudkowsky >>> Rowling

I come to Harry Potter threads just to make sure that this is posted, and all is right in the world.

youtube.com/watch?v=VvpPxjCKTqc

It's a lot funnier than I thought it would be.

kill yourself irrelevant trash "person"

It's a brilliant piece of writing, having seven books with each one containing a story that covers an entire year. It's a great setting that allows you to play around with the story and characters a lot.
There's always new lessons and teachers, there's always a Halloween bit, a Christmas bit, etc. It gives the writer a lot of safety keeping each book to a full year. And yes, it's incredibly comfy to watch the films start out near the end of summer as they go to school, enjoy the Christmas scenes, and after the finale, it's summer again and they all go home until the next film.

I've heard he returns and has a major plot with that witch he liked

>Ron's Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself

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That's good to hear, I just checked the cast for the 2nd movie and you're right, he's back as a main character. I wonder how they'll fit that in seeing as the first movie ended with him forgetting everything that happened.
In any case I'm glad to see him back, he was endearing and funny, comic relief done right, which so rarely happens.

He didn't forget everything though because weren't his cakes designed like the beasts?

>This excerpt was ghostwritten by Botnik Studios using predictive keyboards trained on all seven Harry Potter books
Wait, so that entire thing was written by some kind of program that analysed all the books in terms of word choice and sentence forming, and it came out like that? If that's true that is an amazing invention you could have a lot of fun with. Or did I misunderstand and this was just written by some guy copying Rowling's writing style?

holy shit that twist at 3:40. Should've been in the movies

Ditto. One day, you will see that copypasta for the last time and you won't even know it.

I fucking despise HP. Shit book series for retarded Millennials

are there any good femdraco fics? i tried looking once but there was so much awful shit i quit almost immediately.

Draco should have been a tsundere female. Around 5th year, she realizes that she doesn't really hate Harry. Instead, she actually has a crush but was jealous of the girls that hang around him.

The final scene did show some signs like that, he probably retained some subconscious memories (he says something like how the designs just sort of come to him), and when he saw Queenie he hesitated for a moment, like he'd forgotten something. It'll probably be explained with a throwaway line explaining how he didn't completely forget everything because unlike all the other No-Majs he was directly involved or in close proximity to Queenie and Newt or something, which made it impossible to completely erase his memory with the magic forgetting rain

soy levels off the fucking chart

>not a tsundere male
Homophobe

or they could just fall in love again :3

Plebeian: Harry x Hermione
Patrician: Harry x Ginny
Contrarian: Harry x FemDraco

God bless you.

sum questions for you experts on hp:

-why didnt hermione use her time machine to btfo boldemor
-why didnt harry use a spell to fix his eyesight
-why didnt they play quidditch matches with rival schools?
-why did harry give a shit about working if he was rich
-why did he marry a girl who fukd a blak guy?
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Based dullposter

Why didn't Harry bang the either of the qtpoos?

Don't even go into the sewers that are HP fanfiction. I went down there once or twice, looking for some interesting stories, be it a continuation of the books, or a side story, or just some texts about comfy everyday life at Hogwarts.
After half an hour of searching all I found were Snaperape, (insert any male character)x(insert any other male character) porn, and a short story where the Whomping Willow fucks the Ford Anglia.
By law there should be decent fanfiction somewhere, but it's not worth going down there to find it.

That sounds like our JK. Power of love will undoubtedly play a role, but I'm sure that he'll regain all his memories from the first film and they'll continue the story from there

>I'm sure that he'll regain all his memories from the first film and they'll continue the story from there
They could have it be through a kiss :3

>can't undo what has been done
>his glasses are his look, his distinguishing feature. If they can grow and shorten teeth they can fix eyesight, but Rowling wanted Harry with glasses
>there's like 7-9 schools in the whole world and they keep to themselves mostly, why travel halfway across the globe instead of just creating rival teams in the school itself
>gotta do something with your life, he's not the kind of guy who would turn NEET and live off his inheritance
>she reminded him of his mother, he could look past the black dude thing, also they never fucked

>implying he didn't
HP would have had women (and men) lining up to fuck him

I have trailed through hordes of shit fanfics without finding a single femdraco one

Not a fic, but ask and ye shall get

I would like to think of it as Sup Forums's OTP.

I’d be in slytherin and I’d feel very conflicted about the whole mudblood/half-blood situation. Just like I do in real life.
I know niggers are people, and I have some level of empathy so making people suffer makes me feel bad. But then I remember they are niggers, and the need to wipe them out rekindles.

B A S E D

I actually thought that is what made the last book so dark. There is no going back to school. All of a sudden that comfort is gone.

I know it's not really a plot hole, but it bothers me how the Order of the Phoenix and the Ministry of Magic are basically a big bunch of pussies (the latter is understandable).

The death eaters will use any dirty trick or evil spell in their power. What's stopping the good guys from playing dirty? I mean so many death eaters are known. It would be so easy to cast the imperius curse on them or abduct their family. There is so much they could do to fuck up their operations.

That was really jarring for me as well. A Harry Potter book not set around a year at Hogwarts felt really out of place. The plot couldn't have worked if they all stayed in school and only went Horcrux hunting during the holidays and weekends so it had to be done, but you really missed the comfort of the castle, the common room, the great hall, the lessons and side stories.

I'm just guessing here but I think 99% of those people who write Potter fanfics are women (in some shape or form), and the femdraco is more of a male fantasy. Men like the idea of a snobbish rival girl who actively despises you while secretly having deep feelings for you she can't share which is why she puts up the unlikable facade.
All those hambeasts shitting out fanfics are more interested in Sirius buttfucking Lupin in the kitchen while Harry, using floo powder, watches from the fireplace, wanking.

>Sirius buttfucking Lupin in the kitchen while Harry, using floo powder, watches from the fireplace, wanking.
i laughed, but fucking hell.

What would you do if you were a young man at Hogwarts and owned an Invisibility Cloak?

Judging by the image you posted, I think you know the answer to that yourself, friendo!

I just made that up on the spot but it's exactly the kind of drivel those fanfic writers love to write. Disregard the character, just make X fuck Y because they're both male.

It's the classic good guys thing. They wouldn't use the forbidden spells because "that would make us just like them". Casting Imperio or the killing curse is illegal and immoral so they don't do that.

It sounds contrived but it sort of makes sense. If the Order started kidnapping Death Eaters' families, including children who haven't actually done anything wrong, the general public would lose faith in them. You'd have two groups, Voldemort and allies, and Dumbledore and allies, killing, kidnapping, controlling people via magic, who would actually be in the right there?

>ywn cuddle with femdraco under a warm blanket next to a fireplace magicked up by the room of requirement
>she will never be sweet unlike the bitchy facade she puts up
>"I think I pout and cry, Father will put up with a muggleborn like you. But first I want to be a little rebellious, so I hope that is not a wand in your pocket."

What's the obsession with a female Draco? So many girls in the franchise but now everyone wants to fuck the shitty annoying dickhead provided he has tits and a vagina

youtube.com/watch?v=yW_7FzbYsEI

I guess anons want to hatefuck spoiled buxom blonde who fancies herself a master schemer and dominant, but is in reality incompetent and submissive.

Plus the novelty factor versus more traditional pairings/waifus.

It feels like the average anons in HP threads aren't that much different from the fanfiction community.
I just like discussing the series, but I've never once thought about a female version of someone, or a pairing, or shipping as I think they call it. I must be getting old, and that's quite something for someone who grew up with the books and films. I just don't understand.

I austically hate the movies for needless changes and not explaining shit.

The burning of the Burrow and the “reveal” of Half-Blood Prince’s identity when the movie never sold it as a mystery, for example

There it is. Carry on chaps

It annoyed me at the time because I had a habit of re-reading the book just before the adaptation came out in cinemas, and that's where you really pick up on stuff they left out, or put in.

Over the years I've been able to see the films as a different entitiy from the books. The films are very enjoyable to watch, but I know in my mind that it's not a direct adaptation, and that's fine, they are two different mediums, book and film.
Burning the Burrow really, really annoyed be at the time as it was so unnecessary for me. But the point to that was to put some action scenes halfway through the film, just to keep people engaged. It never happened, and it was silly, but I honestly do understand that the director and writers wanted a suspenseful action scene at that point in the film because up until then it had only been about love potions and funny romps, so I can see why they felt the need to put in some action.

Voldemort did nothing wrong and without him Magic is doomed to fade away

He killed loads of people and violated several severe laws. But it's hard not to see his point of view, kinda like Grindelwald he was perplexed that Wizards should hide in secret when they are clearly superior to Muggles. I wouldn't say go kill everyone who ain't a Wizard, but the idea of them living in secret is ridiculous.
They could rule the world and not even in a bad or evil way, they just have these powers that 95% of Earth's population hasn't, so give them some respect.

You're a wizard, Trevor