PICK IT UP, YOU DUMB WAGIE

PICK IT UP, YOU DUMB WAGIE

I SAID PICK IT UP !

>ITT: DEVILISH GENERAL

>Always fill up a gymbag with tacos, kebabs, pizza and burgers
>Go to the kinoplex and get my seat (in the middle)
>Eat it loudly so everyone can hear me
>Point at the screen everytime something funny happens and yell "HAHA THATS FUNNY MAN"
>Nudge the people next to me and ask them if they want any food
>Do it again after 5 minutes, do this until the end of the movie
>Stay in my seat until the end
>Empty my gymbag, by this point the smell and mix of the different foods has made a thick and brown paste
>Smear it all over the seat
>As I leave, handshake the person working there, and personally thank him for the movie
>SEE YOU LATER FRIEND ;^)

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youtube.com/watch?v=Q5UG7ISJfP0
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wow! that's pretty outrageous, user!

Absolutely fiendish

Try working at Rural King.

I have a ruse I like to call 'The Timebomb'

Now what I do is melt a load of lard or heavy cooking fat down to a liquid. Now I pour that liquid gold into a bottle or even a flask. I smuggle the bottle into the cinema and near the end of the film, I'll pour the contents over the floor.
This is where things get devilish. The liquid lard/fat will then get to room temperature and harden, creating a foul coating on the floor (extra effective on carpets)

Any wagecuck tries to clean that up and they'll be covered in grease with a load of destroyed mops.

>muslim being a dick
What else is new

Who else /pissesintheaisles/ here?

Fuck getting up to go to bathroom.

kek, this is pretty devilish if you ask me

savage

and people wonder why James Holmes did what he did.

>fap into condoms the weeks prior
>keep them ziplock bags
>store in cargo pants
>arrive to theater early
>spread them throughout theater before anyone else arrives

I once released a rat I captured in my barn into the cinema. Funny thing is no one noticed until the end credits when this fat woman screeched and shot up into the air. Got a refund for the tickets too.

-flick chewing gum randomly across cinema
-piss on floors in toilets and on the toilet roll if it's within piss range
-slice a thin hole in the seat and stuff it full of sardines or raw chicken
-shit in a bag at home, seal it and bring it into the cinema then open it at the end, bonus points for smearing it

This type of thing doesn't happen in countries like Japan, where they have an educated and benevolent society that believes in working together.

>creating jobs for niggers and janitors
>not working together
what don't you get?

I hope you get killed but unironically ahha

pozzed some twink in the back rows and covered the headrests in my toxic loads

>tfw I read the first two quotes in carlo rizzi voice

Japan doesn't need to supply spics and nogs with jobs you idiot.

I wear a big coat and bring some rubbish bags with me. Nothing sweeter than knowing a wagie is cleaning waste that shouldn't even be there in the first place.

>litter
>I'M CREATING JOBS

You are this retarded.

>pay for ticket to see warcraft movie
>find out 20 minutes in that it's shit
>pour blue gatorade and popcorn out on the empty seats as I leave
>get a full refund

wagecucks will think twice before taking my money for SHIT like that again

I hate america

TRUE fiendery

>rubbish bags
why do britbongs come to Sup Forums and larp as terrible people? we all now you're mild mannered homos. HAHA AND THEN I SHIT ON THE FLOOR AND PISSED ON THE JANITOR HAHAHA BINS

Step up your game, get on my level, and start shitting in the theater. Prop your feet up on the chairs in front of you and fire that turd like you're popping out babies.

Sometimes I'll crack a few rotten eggs around the place. I like the idea of a wagecuck cleaning, spotting a broken egg and wondering how the fuck that even got in there and why.

>go to the kinoplex
>watch a film
>after film ends say "that was a good flick"

He knew life peaked with The Plane Scene is why

Cute doggo

hahahha
wagie ragie

whats is the matter wagie?? hmmm. You gotta go to work, huh. Gotta wake up early you say, awww and during xmas too..thats sad, I feel for you ;)

You me a homogenous ethnic society

Don't underestimate us.

>he failed the penis inspection
don't worry, we're laughing with you not at you

Which condiments work best?

>Kebabs
>America

...

a newfag a day keeps the doctor away

>*BRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

CLEAN IT UP

>Homeowner's flue poo horror
>foul-bowelled hooligan unloaded a big, steaming SHIT down his freshly-swept chimney
>A LOO WITH A VIEW
you fuckin brits

the smellier the better, horseradish is a beauty

I find mattresses on the roadside, frequently infected with bedbugs. I cut out a 3x3x3'' cubic square. I place it in a plastic bag and smuggle it into the theater. When the film starts I whip out my switch-blade. I use the silent release, so as not to disturb my date. I cut a slit in the seat then carefully stuff the seed within. I break out the sewing kit. I repair the incision so that even the most careful of observers would not notice the difference. The deed is done. I get up to use the restroom then go sit in my car and laugh.

kek

hahaha bins and rubbish bags, telly, wot wot I definitely shit in a movie theater

Mayo mixed with water, make them think it's jizz

Japan doesn't have niggers.

>I break out the sewing kit.

Top kek

>the last section is simply titled: BASTARD

so you keep it as a liquid till the end of the film? sure ya do

I one time had nuclear shits after eating a burrito before going to see Book of Eli. I then pooped all over the bathroom and drew swastikas with a sharpie on the walls.

>master race this
>master race that
>takes shit on the wall and floors like animals

Master race of shit.

Preparation is key. Always make sure the bottle is insulated enough beforehand. A simple sock will suffice in my experience and your general body temperature.

If such a disaster occurs and you find the bomb starting to harden before you pour, quickly run to the toilets and let it stand in some warm water or hold it under the hand drier.

I left one of my cum socks behind once.

Which one of you was it?

and then you woke up and started to cry because once again reality catched up with you with the fact that literally no one cares about you.

I'm generally very kind and considerate of others. When someone else acts like an ass, I'm usually articulate enough, and physically imposing enough to get them to stop.

If I met anyone like OP in real life, I'm sure they'd stop what they were doing, or get removed from the property pretty quickly.

Alternatively, I pick my nose and wipe it wherever I want. Like, in public, in bathrooms, restaurants, whatever -- just wet, green boogers everywhere.

Don't be afraid to get creative guys.
If you're HIV positive for example, take some of your blood in and pour it around a little. There's nothing more devilish than a wagecuck discovering he's HIV positive.

Attempted murder is always fun!

.t wagecuck

My favorite theater trashing technique:
>get a jumbo popcorn
>eat what you want throughout the film but leave as much left as possible
>at the end of the film, put any other trash you have in the bucket with the leftover popcorn
>dump the rest of your soda in the bucket so the contents are nice and wet
>hold a piece of paper or something else thin to the top of the bucket
>turn it upside-down and place it on the floor
>pull the piece of paper out from under it
To the ushers it will just look like an empty upside-down popcorn bucket on the floor, there may be a bit of a wet spot from your soda but they won't suspect a thing. When they pick it up to throw it out, all the soggy popcorn and trash inside will spill all over the place. It's hysterical, sometimes I have giggle fits to myself just imagining some wagey's face when they pick up that bucket.

I've been putting amalgam into the soap dispensers for years but I've never thought of this.

I think that's a little over the line user

Nobody is forcing him to do that job. He should be prepared for these sort of things.

>I've not been on Sup Forums long enough to have seen one of these threads before so I am going chastise OP like a faggot with rebbit spacing and all and then add that I'm naughty with boogers
kys

do this to the staff

xhamster.com/videos/condom-to-bareback-4-5944627

winner

I did something similar after my wife aborted a fetus into the toilet, except I put the bloody remnants of our failed progeny in the popcorn bucket instead

I like to bring in old dusty asbestos sheets and smuggle them under the seats.

Can someone give me some legit non-maymay shit that one can do to fuck with cinema wagies? Asking for a friend :^)

>make chocolate pudding
>empty some sweet corn inside
>let it set in the fridge
>place in sock
>when in cinema, when the lights dim
>raises sock above head and swing it about
>shower everyone in brown corn mix

trap them in a conversation.

Stuff a small uranium rod in one of the seats. Imagine the radiation a wagecuck cleaning full-time would be exposed to?

#devilish

Start a fight with them, really. They can't touch you. Just start pushing them until they leave and go get security. Follow them out then change films while they are distracted. Bam. You just got a free movie.

It's gonna' go fucking everywhere before it touches the ground, you need something with a bit of integrity like strong cardboard at least to cover it. It could work though!

A uranium rod is too obvious and easy to clean up user. You just need to sprinkle a few dangerous particles here and there. But cancer isn't very funny, I'd recommend itching powder instead

Simple, but effective

Why is that devilish? Your theater doesn't have a piss aisle? You have to go to an exterior bathroom to piss if you have to and miss time from a movie you paid for?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

uranium doesn't have radioluminescence and can easily fit in the seat space between the legs, giving them testicular cancer or forever damning their children to birth defects. You could raise a generation of supermutants all with one simple maneuver.

holy shit

Back when I was a young teen a friend of mine threw half of a large chocolate bar full power down towards the front and hit some guy in the back of the head. He never did anything about it.

They removed the piss-gutters in the 1890s due to the horrific smell. What kind of turdworld country do you live in?

My own recipe:
Chocolate sauce, spoiled egg yolks, and bits of corn.

I don't use a whole lot, what I do is sort of drizzle it on the seats to make it look like someone had incontinence right there. I scatter it around the theatre, and the egg yolks give it a good sulfur smell so it reeks like a shit should. The chocolate sauce and the corn are just for effect.

Any janitor-bros want to comment on where you'd begin?

Sure? I rather pick up pop corn than deal with costumers. You're really doing me a favor here since I get paid the same.

...

Bathrooms all have drains. A janitor would just bust out the pressure washer then spray it all down with bleach while in a self-contained breathing apparatus. You have to psychologically fuck with them in ways they cannot comprehend, this shit is amateur.

top kek

Realistically what the fuck do you even do? You have no idea who threw it at you and if you start making a fuss then everybody else in the theater is going to think you're the asshole for interrupting their movie.

>what is ice?

T. betacuck

I knew about those drains from the piss-bag-urinal picture. That was my first thought as well for how to deal with it.
>something like this maybe?

I live in a country that supposedly uses "British English" and I can't understand half the shit they wrote. It's like an alien language.

Some guy actually did that in my city years ago. He'd draw some of his infected blood, then stick the syringes into the seats so it would poke the people who sat on them. Crazy shit.

this one is a work of art

>this thread

youtube.com/watch?v=Q5UG7ISJfP0

If I was a janitor and I saw this, I'd shit myself laughing. It's not even that hard to clean.

Yeah this. I was a janitor/bottle room type at Kroger for a while and we had a hose in the bathroom with the drain. Never saw anything this bad though, fuckin morons. Just look at that subhuman looking white trash.

>order soft serve cone
>rub it into the carpet

who SATANIC here

Theater Imp Shenanigans
>Smuggle in a pack of beetroot salad laced with garlic mayo, open it about 20mins into the movie, but don't touch it. Let it just release it's odors.
>Laugh a few seconds longer than everyone else with a Jimmy Carr laugh, (may add knee slapping to it)
>Something "badass" happens, yell a random catchphrase e.g. "Yaaaahaaa!", "SUPERHOT!". Alternatively just snap my fingers while moaning "yaaaaas!"
>Random 1-2 minute hiccups every now and then (say "I'm sorry" to the people next to me profusely)
>Classic is to get up and walk towards the bathroom, turn midway and come back. Repeat every 3 minutes.
>If you really want to fuck with people, get a cheap phone, set an alarm to ring every 5 minutes then throw it in the trash next to the seats. No way of them tracking it to you and it's gold to watch them shift through the shit to find it.

2 easy, eh? I sky-boxed a toilet once. Lifted up a false-tiled ceiling and threw my poo up there. Did the same thing with a block of stilton once and that fucking stank!