Old Simpsons quotes?

Old Simpsons quotes?

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She counted the stars on the flag?

I guess no, there's only 38

"Dear Mr. President,

There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate 3. I am not a crackpot."

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Honestly its easier for me to name scenes instead of quotes because a lot of my favorites require some back and forth between the cast

Non-American here, what's up with Missouri?

>APRIL FOO—
>[boom]

"D'OH!"
"A deer!"
"A female deer!"

Its where the tech industry is booming but its sucky farmlands outside of st louis and east st louis is the worst 3rd world murder capital of america

bringing the quote into modern context: its the slum-state where all this PC, pinko bullshit boiled over into full fledged sedition

He's a "crotchety old guy" so they picked a random harmless thing for him to hate. No one irl cares about Missouri

As a Missourian, it's all of these.

>tfw your state's golden age was more than a hundred years ago

They could merge the Dakotas, Virginias and Carolinas

Mind you, East St. Louis is across the river in Illinois.

he's not wrong

But then you'd eliminate only 2 states as those 3 would make 1.

Do we really need New Hampshire AND Vermont? Combine them, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island. At the same time incorporate New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland into Pennsylvania. Then stitch West Virginia and Virginia back together for laughs. Ditto for the Carolinas and Dakotas.

Something's gotta be done. These stars are getting out of hand.

I always get New Hampshire and Vermont confused on a map

What if we give it the Trump approach.
For every new state that is created, two old ones have to be removed.

Challenge for you guys: Cut the number of states down to seven and only seven in a way that wouldn't spark a second civil war.

Is Missouri really pronounced "mizura"?

I always thought that it was a joke about the Missouri Compromise.

Just slam all of New England together and call it "New England" ffs. And then slam the South together and call it East Texas. Put all those middle states together and call them "who gives a shit"

'Arkansas' is apparently 'Arkansaw'. Don't question how yanks do English.

Miz-ur-ri

Texas, Florida, West Coast, East Coast, Tornado Alley, Alaska, Hawaii.

>Thinking California would put up with "West coast" seriously the only population centers you have to really please are NY, Texas, and California, and then maybe put effort into the smaller but also significant high pop areas.

it's just nonsense. even old simpsons had weak writing at parts. not everything was brilliant. especially that stupid sneed's seed one. why this series gets so much praise is baffling.

>second civil war
>implying that there weren't already two

California is nothing but niggers, hipsters and mexicans. It doesn't matter what the fuck they think, they'd fall in line.

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Fun fact, there used to be only one Carolina.

There used to be only one Virginia, the civil war fixed that.

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Fun fact, there used to be no niggers in the US.

There's 38 on there.

Arkansas is Are-can-saw yes.

Miz-oo-ree is how it's pronounced by non-hicks though.

>animators or any other "artists"
>able to do basic math or any other logical task
Pick one.

I'm from Pennsylvania and I don't want none of that shit. The Delaware river is there for a reason and it's to keep fucking NJ away from us goddamnit.

>in a way that wouldn't spark a second civil war.
Nuke the fuck out of 43 of the states, and threaten to nuke the remaining 7 if they don't play ball.

But that was only for a few weeks after white people arrived.

Okay, and what about Hawaii? Is it ha-waee or hawa-ee? I've heard americans say it both ways.

But don't you have nukes in all states? What if any of the 43 nuke back?

>tfw Lincoln was killed so the original plan to send them all back was scrapped

I thought it was a joke about nobody actually giving a shit about Missouri either way.

I never really got this one.

pretty sure that would count as a civil war

Local populations are rarely a good way to see how things are pronounced.

Colorado is Call-o-RAD-oh instead of Call-o-ROD-oh

Nevada is Neh-VAD-uh instead of Nev-AH-da

Norfolk, VA become NAW-fuck instead of NOr-fuck

If a person starts their statement with "Well, I'm from _____ and we pronounce it" then just assume they are saying it wrong.

It's supposed to be a joke about sucks and fucks because it rhymes with chuck

Those were a great few weeks.

>chucks fuck and suck

the stars would be aligned differently if one was removed
it'd actually be easier to miss if two were missing instead

It wasn't that great of a joke.

My Frankenstine

Its where Central City is, so maybe he just hates the Flash

the natives liked calling them weird names to mess with us, so we gave them small pox blankets and killed all those buffilo just to fuck back.

Fuckers should have had a pronounceable language.

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The I'm guilty of is Toronto

Tuh-RUN-o instead of toe-RONT-toe

Back away, not today, disco lay-day.

I can't believe she went home with those guys.

What the crap are you talking about?

The joke is that Hawaii wasn't a state until 1959, so some people born before then still refuse to acknowledge it (similar to how people nowadays still insist Pluto is a planet). The joke is that someone's beef with Hawaii has understandable basis, but Abe is such an old coot that nobody understands what the hell his beef with Missouri could be.

>...testi-
>[boom]

Your first thought is that a guy named Sneed thought it would be clever to call a place "Sneed's Feed & Seed" because it rhymes. Then it turns out that it was originally "Chuck's Feed & Seed" and the next owner being named Sneed was a coincidence.

>Colorado is Call-o-RAD-oh instead of Call-o-ROD-oh
>Nevada is Neh-VAD-uh instead of Nev-AH-da
This is because the words are Spanish, not English.

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youtube.com/watch?v=oV4POSokRm8

>they pay me $800 a week to tell a cat and a mouse what to do!

I really like when Homer starts his speech after Apu gets a green card.
"If I could say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker!"

It's a legitimately good joke and the fact that Bart clearly appreciates it when no one else does just makes me happy.

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>You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.

The current pronunciations aren't the Spanish pronunciations, they were changed by the English speaking populations to distance the states from the Spanish root words.

>that wouldn't spark a second civil war.

You Americans are fucking hilarious. You're all too fat and gutless to go to actual war with each other over anything.

Sorry Mr Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!

It was a different time

Thats why they take it out on the middle east instead

Exactly. Most people would pronounce Nevada closer to the way it would be in Spanish. Yet the locals will fight you unless you pronounce it Neh-VAD-uh

So does she get fatter?

Combine West Virginia and Virginia for shits and giggles seeing how their opposite sides of the coin, and combine the Dakota and Caroline together because why not.

>TMW the framing document of our nation says blacks are only 3/5ths of a person

And the one from the garbage episode, paraphrased

>I'm not very good at speeches, but fuck you, I'm not going to fix your fuck ups

>He's right, he isn't good at speeches

youtube.com/watch?v=gZbzncPXIUY

Fun fact: it was whites brought blacks to the US.

Hey, here in Latin America they change the joke.

But i cant find the clip.

That's only cause the south had more blacks as slaves and could use the population to gain more power.

That episode cracks me up so much.

Fun fact: you'd be sucking Indian cock if lazy colonials didn't force blacks, Chinese, and Irish to do everything for them.

>combining West Virginia and Virginia together for laughs

Stop, you don't know what you're doing

There's a reason why no one cared about the hicks in the mountains leaving VA for their own bumfuck VA

>yes

I'd understand it if it was about Ohio. Seriously, Ohio can burn in hell for all I care.

Ar-kansas

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this entire scene is gold

>an enema kit....nono, make it two
>hmmm, I dont know what you've got planned, but count me out
>throws the firecracker in the fridge
>*Gasp!* THE BEER

LOOK OUT, SMITHERS

A classmate has this denim trousers with a patch of the candy Venus on them, and she's got this round, pretty ass. She's also kinda of a tumblrine feminist.

Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga?

>HOMER: So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person that was trying to catch him.
>SKINNER: How ironic.

The dramatisation kills me every single time
>With a MAN in the white house? Not likely!

youtube.com/watch?v=kGoq_31rdcE

Asleep at the switch?

I wasnt asleep, I was drunk!