ITT: Soyboy Horror 2.0

So, basically, Black Mountain Side is what you get when you

1) Take "The Thing".
2) Remove all special effects.
3) Remove the good direction.
4) Remove the good acting.
5) Use viral marketing to bait people into thinking this is a Lovecraftian movie, usually done on-line by soyboys who think Lovecraft is Hitler.
6) Sprinkle some #BlackLivesMatter into it (makes it more appealing to the soyboys who do the viral marketing for you).
7) Also, add some furry appeal to broaden your audience.

Voila.

You are a fucking braindead retard and I hate you for suggesting this movie.
You had goosebumps from listening to some C-list voice actor saying completely pointless fedoralord shit? Okay.

the viral marketers got to you here

I hated the deer.

Eh I thought it was ok, plot was all over the place.

how long are you going to use forced alt right buzzwords to describe things you don't like?
how silly of me, of course forever

Soyboy means anything you don't like? Just to be clear.

Soyboy.

It reminds me of the masterpiece It Cums At Night.

Don't EVER talk to a Drumpfkin again

I LOVED this movie. As good as VVitch

Reminder Hitler was a soyboy.

DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMPF

Black Mountain Side is the best horror film since Jeepers Creepers

DIE DRUMPFKIN DIE

It means being emasculated, racially self loathing while giving oneself completely to people who despise you.

What about the masterpiece Get Out?

Yes, good, fight and hate each other instead of uniting against the real enemy.

If you dislike Get Out.....die

So is there actually a critter or is it all just head games?

The octopus planting maggots who mutate the body was real.

The Dear God was a distraction.

Anyone else thought the deer was sexy? I wanted to buttrape him.

Dude

Yeah. Fuckable deer.

Also weak, effeminate, childlike in your worship of consumer media, infantile in your understanding of women.

So do we all agree that the best heroes of 2000s are:

1) Get Out
2) It Comes At Night
3) VVitch

Ultimate soyboy taste.

FUCK YOU

SOY IS GREAT

FUCK DRUMPF

#RESIST

>6) Sprinkle some #BlackLivesMatter into it
Haha what the fuck, there's the one nignog and he's a psychotic manlet

The VVitch is a great film with zero soyboy qualities though.

I want a black bull to impregnate the deer god in front of me.

>muh strong empowered Wytches who don't need no patriarchy

weed

m a n l e t
a
n
l
e
t

He went on a shooting spree trying to stop the evil whites. Shot some evil Nazi doctor in the head for being white.

They literally need to sign their souls over to the devil before becoming witches.

You're fucking with me right?

here
It's pretty jumbled and can't decide on which subplot is the real explanation, but I still think it's a good movie with some effective scenes.
I think it's one of the better portrayals of an otherworldly presence slowly fucking with people's heads.

Hey boi, you dropped this

Let me repost the list of actually good post 2000s horror movies, in no particular order.

28 Days Later
Babadook

+movies from other genres with significant horror elements:

Pandorum
Timecrimes

+the overrated, actually worse versions of the two movies above:

The Descent
Triangle

+decent but flawed movies:

Infini
Southbound
Saw (the original)

+memorable but meh movies:

It Follows
V/H/S series
Baskin

+overrated and forgettable:

The Void
Last Shift
Lights Out
etc

That's all. I forgot nothing of importance - nothing!

It Comes At Night, Sleep Well Mom, Witch, Tusk, Cabin in the Woods, Trick r Treat, Black Mountain Side - all soyboy stuff. Also, that movie starring a literal soyboy with yellow fever who thinks people are taken over by demons, forgot the name...
Get Out is the ultimate soyboy cuckold movie.

What seperates Babadook from say, The Void in quality?

Right before they ride Black Philip's ice-cold cock. I guess they figured they couldn't work that into the movie.

Depth & meaning? Even based Rob Ager liked it.

Great film OP wouldn't ya agree

Are you stalking me? I downloaded both this and Black Mountain Cuckery yesterday.

I'm in your fuckin' head boy

*goy

I like this horror movie

these are the people calling you soyboy

>no noroi the curse
Smh

Does anyone even know who lovecraft is or what he accomplished. or do they just think it means scary monster that kills people and is scary

Soyboys like you think the latter.

Lovecraft was fucking a Nazi. So glad the LGBTQ community took away the universe associated with him & made it beautiful.

80s and 90s were the true golden age of horror. I've just recently watched "Cronos" and it was no doubt the best GUIermo Teltoro movie.

...

Can someone recommend horror that actually keeps on edge with well done jump scares.(Like It follows).

V/H/S 1 & 2 if you don't mind a little fapping

V/H/S 3 if you don't want fapping

Creep

Insidious and Conjuring

Cringe

Noroi and [REC] always make it onto /x/'s top ten list.

>Noroi and [REC] always make it onto soyboy Tumblr top ten list

Seconding [Rec]

The ABCs of Death >>>>>>>>>> VHS

Watched most of these. Maybe I'll watch Moron today since It seems to be recommended often.

The Crazies (2010)

[REC] is literally a shitty beaner zombie movie that's only liked because they speak bean instead of Eglish

Extremely predictable movie from start to finish.

wow nice observation m8!
you must have high iq

Yeah, total B-movie. Plays itself completely straight and ends up pretty enjoyable though.

I see, I triggered yet another soycuck.

Literally not tbqh

another good post, OP.
this film was trash too, but not as bad as trick r treat.

keep exposing these nu-trash horror flicks

The dude in the eyepatch looks Chad as fuck.

Are you 14?
Dreadful, cliche and lacklustre, just pandering to marketing and serving idiots like you with the shit they deserve.

Ooh, spooky jump scares that you can see coming from a mile.

t. 56%er

Holy shit, a bunch of turbovirgins and then one megachad with two bitches giving him a handjob (the one on the left, next to the only 2 girls in this pic)

Why does the word soyboy trigger retards so hard? Even cuck didn't cause this much butthurt.

...

Am I missing something here? Asides from the faggot with the eyepatch and the long haired cunt in the top left, they all look like fairly regular people?
Even then, they're a far cry from pic related, who are the kinds of people who get offended by 'soyboy'.

The key ingredients of a Soy Boy horror film -

It had a premiere at Fantastic Fest

The poster art work, often by Mondo, will riff on 80's design tropes

It will get really good reviews, and plot/concept wise it will sound like a great throwback to 70's, 80's horror

But in actual execution it will not only be cheap and look like cheap digital, the direction will actually be kind of clumsy and uninspired. The effects will be weak. The performances will be improvised/mumble core in nature and they will likely feature settings and characters that are pretty much just the writer/director/cast (often one in the same) and their friends.

They will often throw in some dated Sundance tropes to try add "art" to the proceedings, but it's often just embarrassing and pretentious.

The king of Soy Horror is probably You're Next or V/H/S/.

But there are also other Soy Horrors like I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House.

The big Soy Horror hit of the year was It Comes At Night.

Damn, you can tell that the guy in this pic loved the shit out of Get Out & It Comes At Night.

>guy

No.

Soyboy refers to a pretty specific type of person and a pretty specific type of movie they like.

For instance - pic related, the director of I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House.

>The king of Soy Horror is probably You're Next
No way, I was gonna watch that next...KUSOOOOOOO (yameroooo)

No.

Get Out was okay, Witch was mediocre and It Comes At Night was bad.

It and Split were decent.

Perfect double bill.

I mean, there's some fatties in there, but they're unironically more attractive/cooler looking than your average Soy Boy.

>Writes a work of pure escapism to distract himself from the horrors of the war

>Uses it to remind himself of things he hates

Are you a brainlet?

I can't help you, because I thought It Follows was painfully boring and embarrasingly amateurish.

Led Zeppelin

I have no idea what you're talking about?

Puke-core post.

>all dat 56% tho

It's factual.

Get Out was a mediocre Twilight Zone episode stretched to feature length running time. It gets good reviews because Muh Woke Twitter (did you know it vaguely touches on race and has a black guy in it?)

The Witch is a very well made film about absolutely nothing. It is worth appreciating for it's aesthetic qualities, but is a completely shallow and pointless film.

It Comes At Night is just a plain crap film. There's nothing to even comment on. A boring, derivative, pointless script about uninteresting characters in an uninteresting scenario that is shot with a whole lot of ponderous camera work and editing.

It's dog shit.

But I peed myself when the tall guy appeared - mega scary, since I'm just a 4ft girl myself

>Get Out was a mediocre Twilight Zone episode

>insulting Twilight Zone like this

you deserve a bullet in your brain, nigger lover

kill yourself, faggot.

as a part chink mutt, i find movies that i can connect with culturally are more scary(i use this word deliberately so please no soyrage kay)

i really liked seventh moon
it totally captured the cultural horror and suspense of the hungry spirit festival and it didn't rely on jumpscares
also it has amy smart in it :3

*sucks his dick*

Bet you didn't expect me to react with Love to your Hate, eh, bigot?

>also it has amy smart in it :3
owo