You wake up one morning to find out you're now AKU, THE EVIL SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS...

You wake up one morning to find out you're now AKU, THE EVIL SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS. What would you do to destroy that FOOLISH SAMURAI forever?

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Literally destroy Earth. In SJ there are tons of alien cultures and homeworlds, so I can just pick another home planet.

The downside to that is the gods might finally be bothered once I start destroying planets outright and they'd come smite me.

>Destroying your capital, and the planet that you have been grooming for centuries, basicaly stealing the resources of other planets to make you more powerful

>basicaly rage quitting

Bad idea. Really bad idea.

aku could have destroyed him already but SJ isn't the most coherent in terms of plot so id probably just talk to my psychiatrist and wait for the final showdown

I'd fuck the brains outta that thick high priestess desu senpai

i would kill him

do I really have to destroy the foolish samurai?

To be fair that foolish samurai is hellbent on killing you

Ah, how should I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself! And when it arrives, AH HA HA HA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT, I tell you! Genius, I say!

Yzma get out, you're fired.

Send all of my best assassins at once, preferably after some teamwork building exercises, instead of one of a time like an idiot.

And have them go all out from the start instead of slowly increasing their level of threat over the course of the fight, like Demongo should have done.

Turn into a girl, seduce him, marry him and bear his children, lulling him into a false sense of security.
Then wait for him to die of old age.

>What would you do to destroy that FOOLISH SAMURAI forever?
nothing I wouldn't even give him my place as the ruler of earth

and then I would focus on banging hot chicks and laughing at foolish samurai desperately fighting against a monster even more powerful and dreaded than me: beurocracy

Waifu that Samurai

>Then wait for him to die of old age.
But he can't

i think user just wants to bang jack for all eternity

His aging is more than certainly a mental problem. If he has peace of mind he'd age normaly.

Trick him into thinking he's found a time portal when it's actually a dream machine that will make him think he won and gone back home. While in real life, he's in a catatonic state who will be all too vulnerable to a single beetle drone.

He won't age...can he be trapped? Aku had his best shot with the Neptunians but now neither will Samurai be as trusting nor any group will be as compliant.

Maybe use time portals as a lure. It should be trivial to simulate the CN like effect of the beginning of a time portal with a cantrip. Foolish Samurai jumps in, suddenly lava floods the "time portal". Would need to cultivate rumors for some time though.

Send a flock of angry robot birds to peck him to death. That or shapeshift myself into someone he doesn't recognize and go about on an overly complicated plan to convince him to let me borrow his sword.

>the unspeakable evil Aku unleashed was bureaucracy

Call in a sick day.

Shitpost on Sup Forums all day and complain about the samurai.

Aku tried to zerg rush Jack multiple times and send multiple armies after him.

Fucking Demongo has an infite respaw of might warriors.

Keep spying on Jack, that sword is the only thing that could kill me

The moment he loses the sword, I swoop in and murder him and everything around him in a five mile radius

I turn into Ikra and force my vagina on his cock against his will.

Yeah, but if he had gone all out on Jack from the start, without revealing how his powers worked, he would've gotten him eventually.

only one way

Impregnate Ashi and once she gives birth make her barren, thus destroying him emotionally.

Create a daughter from his own seed without him knowing, manipulate events to make the two to be more romantic and eventually fuck. Then when we meet for the last confrontation present him a box full of pictures revealing the truth and watch in ectasy as the fool cuts his tongue with his own sword

Then make the samurai pay child support, financially ruining him forever.

It's foolproof.

No I just really want to rape him over and over in Ikra form infact I will stay in Ikra form and shove the hilt of his sword into my pussy then put it back into his hand while he is sleeping so he wakes up he will rub my vagina juice on his face.

Throw a rock at him.

Confront the Samurai in a a comfortable house. Where servants will give him food, drink and entertainment.

Tell him that if he ever leaves the house, his new home - all the children in villages from several different kingdoms will be immediately executed.

He will be too honorable to leave, too just to let innocent children die, and since he's not in mortal danger he can't justify any sort of escape.

House arrest forever.

>become Ikra
>have babby
>Jack can't kill you now because babby needs a mom.

t. Kuzco fag

[Spoiler]Jack is pure you aku fags[/Spoiler]

>Be me
>Be SHAPE-SHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS
>unleash and UNSPEAKABLE EVIL
>Some foolish NEET steps forth to oppose me
>Get my ass handed to me on evil Aku damned precious stoned plater
>Studyingtheblade.jpg
>gonna finish me off
>*tears open a portal in time and flings you*
>realize that I'll have to face him again in the future
>Shitpost on /Aku/

What do anons?

here's a hint user

ctrl+S to spoiler your shit.

Just fling him farther into the future next time you see him

>the unspeakable evil Aku unleashed was bureaucracy
top kek

Just Eyebeam the fool

Turn into a hot chick and fuck him.

Start building robots now so you'll have a shitload of them when you face him.

One of them has got to get a lucky shot, right?

kill ashi

>Rape Ashi in front of Jack
or better yet
>Rape Jack in front of Ashi

I like the way you think

I take a descendant of Jack's clan, mindbreak them to my side. Train them to become the ultimate samurai and name them Ronin.

I then give to Ronin a magical sword of Darkness made from me to counter Jack's sword and send him out into the world to kill Jack and do whatever the fuck he wants.

Ronin vs. Samurai

Should I make a scat-singing robot?

Corrupt innocents like I did with the goats but on a massive level. I'm talking women, children, entire towns. As Jack slays the monsters they revert back to corpses of innocent people, plaguing him with guilt.
He will direct this anger towards me as I have now become a true monster. After this I will send one of my loyal human subjects to seduce him and gain his trust. When he confronts me with her I reveal the truth, chances are he'll have turned her to his side but that doesn't matter as BLAM she's a monster now. The Samurai now has to kill the one he loves as I fly away and laugh. He can never get close to anyone as if he does I corrupt them and turn them into my own minions.

Years of forced isolation and guilt will wreak havoc on his mind, driving him to madness as he has to fight robots day after day all alone.

Eventually he'll make it to my lair, no doubt wanting to finish me off completely. We will fight and he'll likely get close to killing me but when he does I will TEAR OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME AND SEND HIM INTO THE FUTURE.

I may not be able to kill the Samurai but I can drive him mad. The constant cycle of anyone you communicating with being killed and being sent so far into the future everything you did was for naught will eventually drive him to commit seppuku. He can not get close to killing me and any time he tries he will slaughter anyone he comes into contact with.

turn him into stone

i.4cdn.org/f/it'sbeen50years.swf

The Samurai? Fuck him, I'm going to get some runback on the three deified jocks who ganged up on me.
We'll see how they like it when I gather every demon in existence to run a train on them.

The Samurai FINALLY has a weakness

To destroy him, Aku must ANNIHILATE Ashi's hips

throw a rock at him

Get out Killer Croc, you're useless.

Do the Ikra scheme again under a different guise and stab him in his sleep.

GIVE ASHI THE FEMTO SPECIAL

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Give that chicken wizard a call.

LOOONG AGO
AT THE DMV
I
A FAT BLACK LADY
UNLEASHED UNSPEAKABLE WAITING PERIODS
BUT A SIXTEENYEAROLD,
WIELDING A LEARNERS PERMIT
STEPPED FOURTH TO PROCESS HIS PAPERWORK
I TWOAH OPEN SOME SASS
AND CAST HIM INTO LINE C
WHERE MY REDICULOUS WAITING PERIODS ARE LAW
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO GET HIS LICENSE
AND UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS
DRIVERS ED

Hire a bunch of assassins I guess.

Pretend to be some ninja warrior girl and have Jack fall in love with me, only to stab him in the back at the final scene, breaking him.

Go to bed Gordon.

>trusting Aku to keep his word

Hmmmm.....yesss, this shall solve my problem. He won't know what to do with these new metal monsters.

Aku's gotta be evil the whole way through.

I can relate to this. She rode with me and told my parents "I don't know how he did it but he passed." When I came back 10 years later to get my D license. I went back to tell her I passed it and she straight up said "You want to take it again?" I told her I passed it; she raised an eyebrow and told my to wait somewhere else.

She's just so memorable.

youtube.com/watch?v=BqEbk8QaPzo

>first need to fuck pic related
>fuck him until he reaches climax and cums
>Kubo dies after losing his magical power
>cum
>mix my cum with his cum
>magic happens
>the drink becomes so dangerous that jack will explode
>throw naked Kubo into a sea
>disguise as a female milk seller
>show Jack my "milk"
>"It's a milk that comes from Serbia. It tastes good."
>Jack tastes it
>"Mmm."
>Jack explodes and becomes a gory mess

Nah.

Earth is a shit hole, and Jack can't breath in space.

You win if you just give up some progress, which is a fair trade.

> The gods then allow Jack to breathe in space

>What would you do to destroy that FOOLISH SAMURAI forever?
But Aku doesn't want that, he only thinks he do. He's too evil to just kill Jack and if he did he might get bored, so he prefers to be lazy and just have Jack being miserable forever.

Keep sending him into the future, repeating the process every couple of millenia, for all eternity. I guess that at some point he will get to the end of time and just

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

Fling him onto an island of nekkid women

Space is huge as well, he'll never find Aku.

>not filing for a divorce and then claiming costody of the kids and then fucking him over for the rest of his life causing him to fall into a great depression eventually killing himself

Keep a constant an eye on to him
>see him fall into his depression
>recreate Mad Jack
>fuck it Mad Jack needs some friends
>create Sad Jack and Guilty Jack to help Mad Jack out
>wait for one of those three to either kill the samurai for him to kill himself

The Jack Force?

I like it let's make a season 4.5 fill in those 50 years.

>Aku's gotta be evil the whole way through.

Fling him even further into the future.

Set up a fake and booby trapped time portal

>Spinoff series about Jack traveling the universe looking for Aku

Well, now wait just a moment FOOLISH user. Perhaps if Aku throws a sufficiently large rock at the Samurai.

I'd send him into the future where my evil is law, except instead of future I'd send him to the cold vacuum of space where my evil is law.

Wait, why doesn't Aku just rape Jack?

I'd watch it

It would be extremely lewd.

You're a big shapeshifting master of darkness

TRAAAAAAAANSFORM INTO A WOMAN AND SAMPLE THAT

EXTRA THICC

SAMURAI DICK

Start my own reality show to corrupt the children so they beat up the samurai or something.

Why would I even want to destroy him? First thing to do is to meet Jack and explain the whole situation of me becoming Aku, fix all of the mess he made and send Jack to the past if he wants. When that's done I will go back to our world and enjoy the rest of eternity with the awesome powers that I now have.

Destroy the baka samurai WITH MY RAGING HARD PENIS

>find some old ass temple
>dig really deep hole
>make a time portal illusion at the top
>Jack finds it and jumps in headfirst
>breaks neck on the ground
>Samurai Splat

Suicide Jack team-up when?

Are you Trurl?

One word.

GUN.

I turn into a hot sorceress and seduce the hell out of him because I can, repeatedly. I can run my empire from another body.

Destroy him? I get lulz and sex.

Tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, repeat it 10,000 years from now.

Someone link me promo, plis