Be coon

>be coon
>steal shit for no reason
>make everybody's life miserable

Is this the most realistic MCU movie to date?

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>be deadbeat dad
>only show up in sons life when you need something

Yes.

>immediately turn on him when he rejects your philosophy and refuses to blindingly cater to you
>try to appeal to his sense of sympathy and love when you're dying and have no alternative

Most realistic depiction of a deadbeat dad I've seen in quite some time, which is impressive considering the context.

At least one of these shits has been trying to get into my chicken coop at night. He won't take the live trap bait, or I catch a cat first instead. The other day I took 3 out of my barn and started thinking that it would be way harder if the coons had guns too.

>be dad
>get your kid outdated useless tech because you think he would like it
Really realistic

>be dad
>be a megalomanical prick who tries to impress himself on everyone and reshape them into his image against their will

yep yep

>be loner who wants to meet others
>when he finally does, soon makes having lots of sex his main goal

Realistic

>be loner who wants to meet others
>when he finally does, he quickly starts lashing out and being a dick as if trying to push them away because he hates himself and doesn't think he deserves happiness

SUPER REAL

Raccoons and Bears are like the top anthros that you don't see often enough in Sci-Fi, even Tigermen are overdone in comparison

>gruff dad who whistles
>he uses arrows
>is blue
can't believe it was this accurate

>have grandpa in the group
>those tv shows didn't prepare you for how utterly alien the generational and life experience gap makes him to the rest of the team
>makes toilet humor you're used to seem utterly disgusting. TMI everyday
>remorselessly crass, doesn't understand colloquialisms from outside his youth
>has strict, unmoving standards on beauty
>thinks he always knows best
>doesn't really believe in you, but will lie that he does to boost your confidence
>hurting inside, but he silently copes

Yep

I'm someone who knows nothing about superheroes, so what are Groot's powers again? I remember that he saved everyone or whatever at the end of the movie but did he do anything of significance other than that?

He drained the fluid from Drax's lungs, grew tall enough to grab the battery in the prison, can mold his body to form weapons and shields, can grow flowers and glowing spores from his body, and fire out his limbs with enough force to impale several grown men at once. He can also feed himself by growing leaves on his body and eating them.

Why do white people gotta be so hateful senpai?

Most blacks like myself just want to be left alone. That's why we like Hulk so much.

He's been hurt by pretty much everyone his entire life. Torn apart and experimented on by uncaring scientists, belittled for his size and build, thrown in jail and called "It" by cops. He's so alone and scared he covers is all up with a tough exterior and he's afraid to get close to people because he doesn't want to get hurt again.

What's funny is that while he feels unimportant, he's frequently the Guardians that Quill relies on the most in both films such as during the fight on Knowhere and the battle inside Ego. Sometimes, it's hard to tell who the Chewbacca in their relationship is.

Something I'm not sure people noticed is how he genuinely hates being called a "Raccoon", and not in a goofy way. That's something Bendis must've missed when he stole it from the script, not understanding the actual subtleties behind Gunn's decision.
"Raccoon" is probably what he was called when he was being experimented on and tortured.

Oh! You are talking about black people! pretty sneaky.

He says straight out in the first movie he doesn't know what a Raccoon is.

Groot is the Chewbacca, Peter is Han Solo/Luke, and Rocket is Raphael from TMNT.

Nigger.

it's just because Quill used it in a pejorative fashion

>first movie
>Quill says he doesn't have to listen to a talking raccoon
>Rocket asks "What's a raccoon?"

>second movie
>Rocket and Quill are pissed at each other
>Quill calls Rocket a stupid raccoon
>Rocket understandably takes this an insult

No, user. He really hadn't known what they were. They've made it pretty clear.

He doesn't know what a raccoon is at first but he recognizes it as an insult in the second, just as he hates being called a 'rodent' or 'vermin' because it dehumanizes him. Or deraccoonizes him, whatever.

I really want Rocket to get the focus in GotG 3. Peter got the focus in 2 and Drax/Gamora are definitely getting big parts in Infinity War. If 3 is going to close out the story I'd really like for Rocket's origins to finally be explored. It definitely seems like he's at the tail end of his journey to really accept himself especially after Yondu's mentoring in 2.

Pretty accurate desu

It bothers me that the next one is set four whole years after 2. First, we'll miss so much character development and second, they may go the "He has a short lifespan" route and kill him off in 3. I want to see their continuing adventures, this is one of those movies that just leaves me wanting more.

Drax is also a Chewbacca.

>First, we'll miss so much character development

Personally I think timeskips can be pretty fun in that you get hints at what happened during the time you didn't see the characters. Like I imagine either Peter and Gamora will fully be together or will be broken up and terse around each other and Peter and Mantis are a couple. Then again lots of people hated YJ for that reason.

>"He has a short lifespan" route and kill him off in 3

Fuck. I could see them doing that.

Who are you even talking about?

Drax is more a C3PO in the sense that a lot of his humor comes from misunderstandings and awkwardness.

>mfw Quill called him a Trash Panda.

Not that guy, but clearly Drax. Not sure what he's comparing it to though.

>they may go the "He has a short lifespan" route and kill him off in 3.

Oh god, please no, not Rocket. Yondu was heartbreaking enough, Rocket dying would fucking destroy me.

>wreck a whole bunch of homes, businesses, and government buildings because you get mad over completely trivial shit
>surprised when people don't want to leave you alone or don't want to welcome you with open arms

It all seems so obvious now.

If it's going to be the last we see of the Guardians, then I could see an ending where they all scream in the bad guy's face.

That's literally what I just said. He doesn't know what they are, the only reason he gets mad in the second movie is because he can tell Quill is insulting him.

sheltered white manchildren on the internet =/= white people as a whole

I dunno why he says it's worse than raccoon.
Lesser Pandas are fucking adorable

I didn't get that from the raccoon asshole. When is that even stated? Not like many space chicks are into bestiality.

It's similar calling someone a Porch Monkey.

He meant Ego.

>like he's at the tail end of his journey

He's talking about how Quill's dad was lonely and proceeded to fuck so many alien women even Captain Kirk would be shocked.

I thought Kirk only slept with like 3 alien chicks

Dammit Carlos...

It's strange how there isn't more Star Wars/GotG crossover stuff out there. Like a Force Awakens scenario where instead of running into Finn, Rey crosses paths with Quill, separated from his team and on the run from the First Order.

His expression and the way it was shot was magical:

youtube.com/watch?v=wlWSaBAl3M0

I think he'd stand a chance with Nebula if he keeps her focused on the fact that they're both hateful cyborgs with much rage against their progenitors

It's a running joke that Kirk couldn't keep it in his pants. Man got around.

Well, that explains his social autism. It took me that backstory explanation part of the movie to stop hating on him for being a assholish over-powered fuck-up and finally start to empathize with him. He's still kind of a little shit, but at least it is slighty more excusable.

Mantis thinks he's cute as hell. If he capitalizes on that and takes advantage of her innocence he'd likely be the one holding on to her antennae and riding her face.