Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom

Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom.

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLILO

YOU ALL WORK FOR ME NOW

i need a villan to kill that dam kirby niggas ,anyone knows someone?

It is beyond me, why I have been invited to participate with such simpletons.

Yes, hello? I was told that some of you do contract work. You see, I am having a tiny insignificant IN-FUUUUUUUR-IATING problem with a samurai...

I'll take care of him.

EEEEEEEXCELLENT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

Dark Greetings, fellow villains.

Seems a little chilly in here wouldn't you say krabs?

I was wondering why my nipples were rock hard

Alright gentleman, how are we going try to kill Aquaman today

Kill his wife and child and ask him how they're doing.

Have you tried pretending to be a woman, fucking him, then betraying him weeks later?

No I did not, I was thinking about killing his child and ruining his life though.

ARE WE DONE BEING BABIES? TIME FOR R E A L EVIL.

Here's what you should do: You should turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then you put that flea in a box, and then you put that box inside of another box, and then you mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...
HA HA HA HA HA
YOU SMASH IT WITH A HAMMA

...okay, but when do you fuck him?

You see I don't, I get batman to do it by dressing up as James Gordan.

Alright fellas, what're we up to today?

That takes too long. Just burn him from the inside out with felfire!

Perhaps you can spread a rumor of a time portal that will help him save his children, then break it in front of him?

...

I like your thinking Aku.

You know, give me like twenty dollars and I could just buy a Krabby Patty to go and then give it to you so you can figure out the formula. Granted it might not be perfect, like it might get mixed with the mustard or something but that is an easy fix, right?

To my foe Aku:
Another minion is gone
Love, Samurai Jack

Isn't it just a Hamburger though with the only secret being Spongebob doesn't half-ass it like other third rate burger joints?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

YOU'RE ALL STUPID

Hey fellow villains, quick question. What should you do when the hero is...actually pretty hot? And a sweet dude? And he totally keeps walking around in his undearwear? I'm feeling conflicted.

Fear not, Ashi, for even I, the SHOGUN OF SORROW, could not resist the urge to tap that.

It was EEEXCELENT! HAAAAA HAAA HAAA HA HA HAHAHAHA!

I hope you do not mind sloppy seconds because that is what you are getting.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP

How about orchestrating things so that he ends up gutting his own child himself?

Just an idea, y'know, to make it interesting. If you do things just right and he believes this is the result of his own decisions he might even gut himself on the spot.

YEEEEEEES! USE A SPELL TO TURN THE CHILD INTO A RAVENOUS OGRE, ONLY FOR HIM TO REVERT WHEN KILLED BY YOUR FOE!

lmao

Heeeey, what's going on in here guys?

the secret formula is this:

Eugene,
Eat my sub-aquatic air bubbles!!!
Love,
Plankton

You fools! THAT IS NOT AKU! I AM THE REAL AKU! SHOGUN OF SORROW! MASTER OF ALL MASTERS! DELIVERER OF DESTRUCTION!

DAMN IT GRODD YOU SAID THERE WAS NO ONE HERE

Fellow beings of various genders and sexual identities, how do we destroy the Marvel Universe?

AND I'M HAVING A SORDID PRRROBLEM MYSELF THANKS TO YOUR METALLIC ATRRROCITIES MESSING AROUND IN MY DOMAIN

I DEMAND THAT YOU FLAMEBRRRROWED MORON GET YOUR DUMBOTS OUT OF MOBIUS OR FACE THE WRATH OF DR.RRROBOTNIK

HEEYYYYYY! *burrp wubba lubba dub dub, you fucking morons.

Sooooo *urrp, which one of you ordered the anti matter pistol?

hurry it urrrrrppp. I got take, MY IDIOT GRANDSON MORTY, to the dentist.

Hello fellow evil doers! Any plans to take over the world we don't want the Avengers to know about?

It was me, dude

It was me... It was me...

You nincompoops, IT WAS ME

I believe it was I who ordered the anti-matter pistol

IT WAS NOT YOU WHO ORDERED THE PISTOL!
It was me.
Easy time paradox. That way i pay myself, and get more money than i payed for in the future. Anybody with 2 arms and a retarded grandson can do it.

On it.

HA HA!

Funny story Rick. Anyway, how's your sex life?

It was me Rick, It was me all along

*urp* worse than yours, pal

Steven Universe is bad! There I said it!

Gimme the pistol.

Hello everyone, how you doing?

AND IT'S A MEEEEE

Which one of you chuckle fucks let him in?

WAA

WAA

FUCKING ORGANICS GET THE FUCK OUT

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It's time to suckle from thy teets, Legion of Doom.

Oh god damn it cousin get the fuck out of here! This is a PRIVATE meeting!

Anyone else who grew up watching this show, and liked the Legion of Doom way more than the Justice League?

Legion of Doom was kino.

Never. Im better than you! We had a whole 4*burp* hours dedicated to our *belch* season premiere and we played it like 12 times! I-im the *burp* superior one.

Guys. GUYS! SHUT UP! I got a plan! I'll sneak into the Justice League with a CLEVER DISGUISE!

THEY'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT EM!

Im clearly the evilest thing ever created.

oh yes and we definitely don't want the the justice league to know right fellow bad guys?

I was in fact the one who ordered your anti robot science gun. As you can see I have all the necessary documents right here.

Does this mean Jack's insides are BLACKED?

WHAT AN AVENGER!? THEY GOT PANTS!?

why hello wonder women how is your day going

Who let the fucking furry in here? Joker tell Grundy to enforce our door policy. I already deal with them enough as it is with Druids.

You're all being weird. I'm gonna like... Beach a whale or something.

HA HA! Thanks Rick, I'm so glad I have you as a friend and that Lisa loves me /very/ much.

So, have any of you been using that egg diet I told you guys about ?

FOOL! IT IS I THE CHEETAH! YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU PATHETIC... Wait, I'm not even in the Hall of Justice yet...

not on my watch moltar

But of course!

The only ones they have in your size are purple. Uhh....not that I'd know or anything.

[tiptoe noises]

OW. UNCALLED FOR AND RUDE.

Does it count if I use Fel eggs from birds I've corrupted?

GET HIM

So, who wants to start session today ?
Is there something bothering you ?
Get it out of your chest, we are all friends here.

Cheetah is allowed in. She fills the sexy token evil female requirement.

We'd let Emma Frost join the Legion, but we don't own the rights to her.

oh no i must tell the rest of the league

MIGHTY ENDOWNED HAS TWO THINGS SHE WANTS TO GET OFF HER CHEST!

.... These aren't even ripe.

Whose thirsty? I brought...punch.

How big are those birds exactly, ogre man ?

Hello yes. I'm Darkseid. AND I. AM. A. GOD!

I FUCKING HATE SQUIRREL GIRL

ITS DEEDEE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LABORATORY

I just want everyone to know that I love my Lisa very much.

HA HA

Ming the Merciless has graced your presence. Bask in my gloriousness!!!!

All I ask is for some peace and quiet

Oh they're big alright, had to "borrow" them from the local Arakkoa.

Also I am NOT an ogre, I'm an Orcish Warlock! Bloody Huntards.

I can give you that. Call me to schedule a therapy session.

OOOOOOOOH! WHAT'S THIS?

ALRIGHT NEWBIES.
*Cracks knuckles violently*
BOSS'S HERE. LETS GET TO WORK. WHO STOLE MY GODDAMN DIET DOCTER KELP