Mormon Jesus

THROUGH ENDLESS CELESTIAL SEX

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=46PXaJxzuDE
m.youtube.com/watch?v=n3BqLZ8UoZk
youtube.com/watch?v=pcawnRIyeok
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I'M MARY POPPINS Y'ALL

Most people here probably doesn't know that video

Anyone else bothered by him being a celestial?

Mormon Jesus

The Jesus of Mormonism

Mormon Jesus

Never too late to educate.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=46PXaJxzuDE

m.youtube.com/watch?v=n3BqLZ8UoZk

Not really. Clestials are born of planets, and he's supposed to be a living planet. So it kinda works.

LONG
LONG
LONG AGO

No. A Celestial that evolved differently already sounds like an origin Ego would have in the comics.

I think it kind of works, because Gunn mixed two Weird Kirby Things together. It does leave a few questions, like "Was he a Celestial with a body, that lost it and forgot who he was?" Or "Are the other Celestials brain beings like him that got robot bodies to travel to other planets?" I'm leaning toward the first one, because of his account of somehow knowing what humanoid life looked like. Seems like maybe a residual memory.

nah, he's an elder but called himself a celestial because well his ego.

I kind of doubt that the whole "celestial" thing was supposed to be narrative misdirection though. They'd have to retcon a lot of what this movie set up if they wanted to say, "No, he's not actually a celestial" now.

I suppose, I just liked the idea of him just being a living sentient planet. I don't need anymore explanation than that

i was bothered by the huge space human brain

>you'll never trick a bunch of goofies into letting you smash countless thots in the name of Jesus and will never be bigger than Jesus himself.

AGH

EGO TIME

Ahhh... I just wanted to see Mister Knife...

Rape the Galaxies, Peter. Fuck them up!

So he's a rogue Mormon god? Where's Elohim then?

This thread gave me cancer

BASED SPACE MAN

Humans and other humanoids throughout the stars are, I believe, made in the celestial's image. A human-like brain would be expected.

AND OF THESE WIVES

AT LEAST THREE WIVES

PRODUCED ABOUT A BILLION ISREALITES

Nah, it kind of feels like when they say "celestial" in MCU, they mean "a group of powerful cosmic entities that are essentially gods but aren't all of a single species/race" - more like a class of being, as it were, who are also called gods by some.

Compare with Asgardians, who are *not* gods, just a very long-lived, very powerful star-faring race.

>Compare with Asgardians, who are *not* gods, just a very long-lived, very powerful star-faring race.
Since we know from Thor3 interviews that Celestials are worshipped in their own religions, it made sense that the Asgardians compared themselves to them when it comes to denying their own divinity.

JOSEPH SMITH

>see this with my dad who's visiting me (I'm living in a different state for education)
>cry pretty hard at the end with Yondu's death and Father & Son playing
>no real clue why, probably just because I love my dad so much
>start getting super misty eyed even when typing this
help

They played "Father and Son"

Of course you were going to fucking cry!

HO HO HO HO HO
STOP
MORMON TIME

>I had this plan I started millions of years ago and plan on completing over the next million years
>but I can't spend 50 years with a nice girl because that would ruin all my plans

But why?

He would lose his power if he stayed with her.

Okay that makes sense, I must have missed that. The tumor was a bit much I guess but at least he had a (half-assed) explanation.

I just thought he was being a dildo with no sense of time.

>implying he legitimately loved her

>But why?
Because if he can't kill her, then he can't kill Earthlings. And if he can't kill Earthlings then he can't kill all the other people he had to annihilate. If he stayed with her for any longer he would no longer be able to pull the trigger.

He can't be away from his planet and thus his power source very long, or he'd fade and die.

Haha

What the actual fuck.

Ya I think this is spot on.

This also sounds plausible. I could see them doing this, it leaves a lot of room for the writers.

Either way it's great to see cosmic MCU getting fleshed out.

*brain cancer

Only now I realized that it's really an anti-Mormon cartoon.

He loved her but only in a selfish egotistical way. His love was strong enough to give him pause but his ego was stronger. Strong enough to kill her and convince himself it was a sacrifice that he was making and not her. Almost like putting down a dog.

>>WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?!
>>youtube.com/watch?v=pcawnRIyeok
>>You shouldn't have killed my mom!

God, that gave me chills

Getting pussy on Earth, IN HUMAN FORM.

It kind of surprised me that Mantis and Ego never interacted, but I guess that supports how little Ego thinks of others. Hell, I'm surprised Mantis and Peter never interacted outside the trailer scene when the original plan was for Mantis to be Peter's sister.

not even slightly, in fact I thought it was great
This bothered me too
They could have still given it the wrinkles and stem so it looks like a brain, but changed the shape to look less human.
Make it more circular with the stem hanging down from the center of the under side.

It was an easy shot but damn if it didn't work
Also, can we talk about how Yondu probably held onto that piece of shit Zune for years, waiting for a chance to give it to Peter?
I wonder if he ever listened to that song
I wonder if that song played first because it was the song that finally convinced Yondu to give it to his son Peter?

Okay but why did he keep a cave full of his dead childrens' skulls, when he could have done literally anything else?

I was really surprised how much of a punch that scene had.
>>They came back for him
>>Even after he yelled at them
>>Even after he was mean and stole those batteries.

Also, I like how Peter and Kraglin had that understanding how they both saw Yondu as a father.

>Yondu as a father
this was bugging me throughout the movie. wasnt he trying to kill peter in the first one? all that shit about tormenting him and treating him like shit as a kid, which is why he broke off to be on his own?

then in this one he likes him and considers him a father and all that shit that happened before was ignored

>>but I can't spend 50 years with a nice girl because that would ruin all my plans

Ego had hundreds, maybe even thousands, of children. He had no way of knowing that peter would be the one single kid to be born with his celestial powers.

He was playing tough in front of the other Ravangers.

>wasnt he trying to kill peter in the first one?

Yondu grabbed onto the flimsiest excuse ever to avoid having to kill peter. He loves Pete, but he also has to run a gang of criminals.

and as we saw in GtG2, the most of the Ravagers weren't buying his excuses anymore.

>the rocket vs the ravagers scene
>at the very start rocket's humming into a walkie talkie for groot to keep him calm

He admits in the first one he was never going to kill Peter, he was just posturing for the benefit of his crew. Same for the tormenting stuff, Yondu was trying to make Quill tough enough to survive as a teenager among a crew of psychopathic space pirates despite just being some dumb fuck kid from Earth
And dads making jokes about eating you is honestly pretty standard in my experience, its just that Yondu is a terrifying alien pirate lord so Quill thought he meant it when Yondu was just jerking him around
Because he simply didn't give a shit, and figured he'd be able to keep any of his kids more or less contained in his little palace area far away from that cave full of skulls. Gamora was already pretty far from the technicolor wonderland surrounding Ego's palace, and Nebula just chased her further and dropped them both down pretty far beneath the surface

I thought that was to sell the idea that Rocket was busy fixing the ship rather than running about planning an ambush? But I guess both options make the same amount of sense
It was awesome to see Rocket really cut loose as the Guardians resident gadgeteer/armourer though, and he even got a chance to show just how terrifying a small yet surprisingly strong opponent can be
Can't wait for him to meet the Avengers and school Stark's multi-billion dollar walking armoury with the random junk in Rocket's bag

So was the Stallone Ravagers Group at the end of the movie Guardians 3000? Stallone's shoulder things looked familiar.

Yeah, Stallone was Starhawk, and the rest of them were part of the original team at some point
Still can't believe Miley Cyrus of all people voiced Mainframe

Antis are goofy people

No, I mean, as the ravagers are walking THROUGH the forest, we see Rocket humming into the walkie talkie to Groot. Groot looks at it, Rocket's humming is heard through it, then we see Rocket humming on the other end.

Yeah that's the scene, but before you see Rocket humming into the walkie talkie I assumed Rocket was actually in the ship and was about to be ambushed
Instead he'd wired up a sound system to make it sound like he was still inside, baiting the Ravagers into the trap

>The Celestials all made robot humanoid bodies for themselves
>they all appear in Marvel movies as famous actors
>one of them will be danny devito

GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW

>Still can't believe Miley Cyrus of all people voiced Mainframe
Well like Groot, it is a role that isn't very demanding and can be taken on the side while you have a full time job elsewhere. Hence Vin Diesel being able to simultaneously making money as the main lead of F&F.

Is Miley still important or is she officially a has-been? No idea, haven't been tracking her.

Actually it still sounds plausible that they are. If Ego fucked everything he could to make a Celestial baby, maybe he just liked bug girls and kept Mantis around because she had a little bit of power of some sort.

She said he "found her when she was still in the larval state" so it makes me think he kept her as a baby. Or maybe he just picked her up from her home planet while he fucked her mum

>Is Miley still important or is she officially a has-been? No idea, haven't been tracking her.
I thought I heard something about her getting a reality show now. I don't think she's put out any new music in a while, at least since her attention whore tour was done.

RIP Yondu ;~;

Yondu was obviously pretty soft on Quill even in the first movie, and did everything he could to avoid killing him. His "that's my boy!" grin at the end of the first movie when he got the troll doll instead of the Infinity Stone shows that he was mostly posturing for his crew.

His crew not falling for it anymore is why they mutinied in the second movie.

I didn't like how they used the music for most of the movie, it felt really forced.

But the way they used this one song was fantastic.

You know what's probably worse? He might have already visited several million more planets, hired other non-Ravager bounty hunters to retrieve his kids. What if half of his planet is full of buried skulls and skeletons?

He's been doing this for millenia, I think its safe to assume the bones Gamora and Nebula found were just the latest victims with thousands upon thousands more buried behind them, like some fucked filicidal version of the Paris catacombs

Yeah. Gamora and Nebula could be fighting anywhere else on the planet and they'd still end up in another cave of skulls.

OK, fuck, I need to clear this up because I keep seeing anons talk about how this exchange was amazing and well delivered and touching, etc

I think I was looking at the fireworks too hard or thinking about what physical force could have caused the ashes to form an arrow shape or something - anyway I was DISTRACTED.

I have no idea who was speaking for most of it, nor who they were talking to or who they were talking about in either the primary or double meaning. All I know is that rocket said the last part about the batteries and I assumed he was talking about himself in third person as an oblique self insert comparison somehow.

So can some kind user break this scene all the way down for a poor autist like myself so I can pretend to understand the emotional impact of this scene when it comes up in conversation?

OK, in the wider context of the movie Yondu had been told directly that the Ravagers would not turn up for his funeral and mark his passing, that he'd be forgotten in death for breaking the Ravager code
At the end of the movie the Ravagers turn up anyway to honor his sacrifices. Rocket starts talking about them coming back even after he'd yelled at them because he's thinking about how Yondu told him how alike he and Rocket are, as they both act like assholes to push people away because they can't handle being close to other people
That's why Rocket brings up the batteries, and why Quill says "of course" at the end. Rocket switched from talking about the Ravagers coming back for Yondu to the Guardians coming back to Rocket even after all the shit he'd put them through for the sake of some batteries. Quill quietly reminded Rocket that of course they'd come back for him, as he's part of their crew

>I know I have to go away.
>I know I have to go.

It gets so much worse when you watch it again and realize that Mr Blue Sky was actually foreshadowed
After all, Mr Blue, he got it right, but soon came Mr Night. Now you'll remember him this way

Stallone - Starhawk
Michael Rosenbaum - Martinex
Ving Rhames - Charlie-27
Michelle Yeoh - Aleta
Miley Cyrus - Mainframe
No actor for Krugarr

C'mon man, they explain it right in the movie

Ah, thank you very much. Yeah, I think another reason I was getting confused was because Yondu also stole the batteries (or at least wasn't intending to return them to the Sovereigns after he got them) and I was trying to shoehorn that into what Rocket was saying as well. It does make more sense if that last line is a non sequitur about himself than a double meaning.

>He didn't chase them away.

>No.

>Even though he yelled at them. And was always mean. And stole batteries he didn't need.

>Well of course not.

I just hope the comic hack writers don't follow with this then.

>piece of shit Zune
Hey I have a Zune and it does its job which is to play music and I don't have to take space on my phone for said music.

Plus it outlasted ipods and iphones that have been purchased by people that I know. Hell it survived being thrown from the third floor by this drunk douchebag so it's certainly pretty durable.

It's an inspired choice in retrospect, gotta agree. I actually prefer the second mix to the first overall, desu.

I like to think that Zunes being notoriously durable was part of the joke, along with them being considered shit to the far more popular but way less durable iPods.

I'd believe a Zune being able to survive in space to end up at some intergalactic flea market, but I wouldn't be able to suspend my disbelief for an flimsy shit iPod managing the same.

So why not bring her along to his planet?

>see it with my dad
>feel nothing
help

>They didn't feel a thing

You are now aware that Mantis' true purpose was to comfort Ego's disappointing children as they died.

>So why not bring her along to his planet?
Because he intends to kill all non-Ego life, which includes her. And if he keep her around he would no longer be able to pull the trigger. He would have to "become a good man". And to stop that, he had to commit murder.

SOrry Monkey, the idea of letting my penus touch anything less than divine grandaughters of ex-nazi scientists has me flacider than lake placid on acid.

>Thought it was kind of funny how Yondu is this surrogate father figure despite not looking that much older than Pratt
>Look it up
>Michael Rooker is 62
>25 year age difference, definitely enough to realistically be his father
Must be all that blue disguising his age.

So MCU Mantis is probably Quill's half-sister right

>Ego "found her" as a larva

so why not bring her to his planet like what he did Mantis and make her nto some kind of ascended human? think about it a happy coherent cosmic powered family with an 80s soundtrack.

Yeah, Guardians 3 is going to be Oreimo in space.

>so why not bring her to his planet like what he did Mantis and make her nto some kind of ascended human?
Because he already told you, she was weakening his resolve. He only tried to do his plan because he believed that no one but him is worthy of living. She was a living proof of him being wrong. He either kill her immediately, or she would have "defeated" him by forcing him to actually see the error of his ways.

>so why not bring her to his planet like what he did Mantis and make her nto some kind of ascended human?
> and make her nto some kind of ascended human?
Are you retarded?

Honestly I don't think Ego cared for Peter's mom at all. I mean he probably told the same sob story to all his alien kids. Then again I like the tragic love story angle where Ego's own ego (no pun intended) got in the way of his love for Meredith leading to him giving her a tumor. I like this story better because it shows how corrupt Ego is. He killed the only piece of life that he cared about when he found everything else boring. He rid himself of attachment so he could take over the universe. Meredith was the only thing keeping him sane but he decided to kill her because he found his goals more important.

Look again on the tale of Elric of Melnibone
The Sailor on the Seas of Fate.
A Veteran of a thousand psychic Wars
Wielder of Stormbringer.

Destiny's Champion
Fate's Fool
Eternity's Soldier
Time's Tool.
-The Chronicle of the Black Sword.

I don't know why it stood out to me, but I guess I always wondered since GOTG1 on how they were going to explain Yondus race. Figured they would go the Kree route

Yondu's not Kree though.

He literally explains to Rocket while being captured that he was given away as a child to be a Kree slave soldier

He says he was given to the Kree by his parents, but never mentioned he was born one, please put attention to things before making stupid claims.

>THROUGH ENDLESS CELESTIAL SEX

>Nah, it kind of feels like when they say "celestial" in MCU, they mean "a group of powerful cosmic entities that are essentially gods but aren't all of a single species/race"
Agreed on this. I think if any of these fuckers ever show up in the future they will also be "Celestials". It's more of a category than a race.