My local theater just implemented the new no-virgins policy

My local theater just implemented the new no-virgins policy.

How the fuck am I supposed to watch movies now?

Virgins really should be killed. Male ones, that is. The anime watching and 'vidya' playing kind.

why do you hate us?

How do they check your virginity?

uhhh normal people can tell u know..

Have a look at /r9k/ and tell me that these """people""" deserve to live

you think no one can tell? lmao
when you hear people nearby laughing and it crosses your mind that they might be laughing at you....they are.

I don't hate you, but you have to admit failing your simple biological imperatives is rather pathetic.

>newborn male is a virgin
>"Well, rules are rules."
This is like the feminist wet dream.

They show you pictures of couples holding hands, kissing, etc. If you look away at all, you're a virgin and you're sent to the virgin mines under the kinoplex.

Yeah, you're the type we need to get rid of

/r9k/ doesn't have any virgins in it

You could go fuck yourself :D

PROJECTING

>local theatre just introduced autist only Wednesdays

What if you lost your virginity by a hooker instead of a gf? Does that count or not?

Nice try, but no.

>I don't hate you
>Virgins really should be killed

DID YOU EVER BENIS IN BAGINA? INTERLINKED

>he has to pay human beings to show him affection

lol, back to /r9k/, loser

you need to have sex at least 5 times before you stop being a virgin

I screwed one but I’ve convinced myself that it never happened and my first will be with a special friend

...

No. It's like saying you're a scientist who works in a lab when all you really do is serve coffee.

Nice reading comprehension
>the anime and vidya kind

Hearty kek

>we

>he is too young to comprehend the essentially transactional nature of human interactions outside of the immediate nuclear family

BELLS

Time to break your anal cherry.

>he doesn't know about the cheat sheet
Mind you this is just one version out of many but at least you get 1/? chance to get in (if you know the answer).

What if you're a manlet virgin, do you get sent to the virgin mines or the manlet pit?
asking for a friend

They can smell your cum

bump

you also need to go in raw, or else it doesn't count. May as well been fucking a fleshlight

ask yourself what would elliot rodger do

>Dad died in the pop corn mines
>Mother gave birth to me, delivery with salty butter