What's the psychological explanation behind helga's love/hate for arnold?

What's the psychological explanation behind helga's love/hate for arnold?

Borderline personality disorder.

There's an entire episode focused on explaining just that, much better to watch than to ask a bunch of autists on /co who don't really understand human relationships.

Self esteem issues.
Her mom never paid any attention to her and nothing she ever did was good enough for her dad. Mostly because she wasn't born his son. She shits on the one person she likes because deep down inside she believes he would reject her so rather than face that she sabotages the relationship herself.

Arnold was the first one to show her any type of positive attention. Which made her cling to him emotionally and hides her feelings to avoid possible ridicule.

She was rarely shown affection as a child for one reason or another, so she has difficulty expressing it. Eventually people came to expect her tough demeanor so she now has the difficulty of keeping up the act even when she does feel kindness from others.

Arnold was one of the earliest and most genuine cases of altruistic kindness she experienced and he's remained more or less consistent despite her abusive words and actions.

Saying all that I still feel it's bullshit Craig implies the two belong together, mostly because his own wife Lisa Groening, who Lisa Simpson was based on. So there you go was like Helga so he figures all relationships like theirs should work out that way. I've seen and heard cases here and in my own life long enough to know that's not the case. Yes it's true that those who hurt others need help the most, but that does not mean those who help others must sacrifice their own happiness to fill the bottomless void that is a broken person. Arnold deserves better than the shit hole city he's forced to endure the psychosis of. There is nothing, absolutely nothing Helga could provide for him. Bartlett's insistence through Phil and Gertrude's magically stable relationship that a spitfire will eventually shape up into some kind of source of warmth later is insane. Really ruffles my feathers too because fans of the show prefer an end where Arnold is stockholm'd into the relationship just so Helga can have a good end which sends a very disturbing message to other kids in their position to "just let it happen".

No. Do not. Not unless you're a fan of 50 shades of grey.

No compassion from her own family. In the few minutes that Arnold shared an umbrella with her was the only amount of time anyone has given her kindness in her entire life. Helga's life is honestly sad.

This person said the Truth ,

I always took the Phil and Gertrude thing (how they apparently began the same way Arnold and Helga did) as implying that Gertrude had matured over time. She clearly doesn't bully Phil anymore, and is more just eccentric.

I agree that Helga and Arnold don't belong together in their current state. But I think Helga and Arnold are natural, opposing complements to each other. It's funny that they're basically the opposites of societal standards (and it's done so naturally no one ever really questions it). Arnold, the boy, is empathetic and emotionally caring, while Helga, the girl, is the one who's physically brash and puts up emotional walls. If they are to end up together, (and I'm not saying that they should) Helga needs to work past her issues. She's clearly unnaturally obsessed with Arnold, after all.

All that said, I do think Helga has something to offer Arnold as a person. Arnold's can be too trusting sometimes, after all, and being too open means he could potentially be taken advantage of. Helga naturally has a dominance-prone mentality, that's all about protecting herself and others. Potentially, both characters can mature if they got to really know each other.

Guess we'll just have to wait for the movie to see what happens though.

>Saying all that I still feel it's bullshit Craig implies the two belong together
According to the proposed Helga spin-off, Arnold ends up moving away a few years later and a relationship never works out between them. They do still keep in touch, though.

>fans of the show prefer an end where Arnold is stockholm'd into the relationship just so Helga can have a good end
That's really fucked up and I'm glad that I never discussed this series with anyone online outside of Sup Forums.
That sentence felt as weird to type out as it does to read it

My head-canon was always this, with references for the basis:
>Helga keeps going to her Shrink for years and working out her problems with cognitive therapy (See Helga on the Couch and the premise for The Patakis)
>As a result she bullies Arnold less over time
>Puberty kicks in (so they are around age 12-14)
>Helga actually talks to Arnold and he finds out how intelligent she is
>He finds pleasure in her company (See Arnold visits Arnie)
>Of course, being a young teenager, he develops a crush on her
>Helga basically throws herself at him like she always wanted to when she finds out (See every episode with Helga in it)
>They date for a while
>Arnold is happy and Helga is very happy
>Arnold moves away and Helga ends up with crippling depression because of it (See the premise for the Patakis)

Can't help but find that ironic, since I'm just recalling that one episode where Olga tries to connect with Helga and she sends her off to the arctic.

You're ignoring the episode where Helga has a nanny, and how everything ended up bad for Helga because of how mean she was.

Helga can only truly get Arnold if she manages to work out her issues. Which is implied she will someday.

Arnold's the first person to treat Helga kindly but Helga cannot be soft in the world she lives in.

Ponytail Helga > hair down Helga > normal Helga

Shes not that bad with Phoebe. And Arnold has the upper hand once he realises it. Or turn it into tango.

The "argument" that she has between her future self and Arnold about her hidden good self during his dream in "Married" is something that Arnold knows she needs to face. As Helga becomes more assured that she can actually show that side, the positive effects of her actions reinforce themselves on her future behavior.

Is it contrived that it takes someone with the patience of Arnold to accomplish this task? Perhaps, but a fundamentally good person just -wants- to help if they can, and Arnold is such a person. Likewise, the walking wounded personality of Helga sees a fundamentally good soul and this continually chips at her flinty exterior, trying to free her trapped true nature before it calcifies her heart for good. It's far easier to not let this happen because when that exterior breaks it will hurt, but something tells her it just may be worth it.

It's not really Arnold's actions but Helga's reactions that make it work. She instinctively knows it's the best thing for her but he knows his struggle to reach her may yield something more than just a friend's happiness. It may also result in his own happiness as well.

Abused and neglected by parents so she doesn't want to risk showing any affection to Arnold lest he abandon her too so she sabotages ahead of time

there is a japanese term "tsundere" that explains this perfectly

but I guess people who only watch western cartoons wouldn't undertand even if I explained

See .

Arnold showed her kindness while her family ignored her. then she had a moment where she realized she couldn't be soft so she has trouble expressing it directly to him without keeping up her image.

There's an entire episode that points this out

What is she even doing with that cup?

She was sorely (and quite probably literally criminal level) neglected as a young child. Around the age of four the first person she ever truly interacted with was Arnold and the first thing he did was show her kindness. She fell in love with him there (childish love admittedly) and has spent the rest of youth growing up with that affection growing within. As she grew Arnold became the focus through which she saw and experienced any kindness and happiness in her life. (And her perception is surprisingly not wrong for most of her life, given her family.)However on the same day she fell in love she was also childishly embarrassed to be caught liking him because childish immaturity. So she blustered to cover her true feelings with rough exterior bravado. Now that affection grew alongside that bluster. Now she's between a rock and a hard place: she has so much bravado over the years that she doesn't know if Arnold could ever love her, especially in the way she loves him so deeply and madly.And she's afraid of the shattering effect being rejected would do to her. (She is keenly aware of many of her flaws, and not very aware of her positive features. She's also not sure that she could change to be better for him, though maybe. She's young and her limited perspective isn't full.) She has caused Arnold to become the focal point of all good in her life (and again that isn't entirely wrong).The legitimate fear of his rejection and resultant fall out drives her to keep her love so secret, drives her to take such extreme measures. But at the same time she ardently wants his affection and wants to grow closer to him, to experience intimacy with him. She hopes against all things that he might actually cone to like her. So she does things to try to grow those feelings or capitalize on opportunity for intimacy with him.

it's called Tsundere OP and boy it's a hell of a drug

I don't get why the psychologist said it was okay for her to continue her behavior.

Seems like an easy way out.

/thread

>There is nothing, absolutely nothing Helga could provide for him.

Ya'll never seen the Christmas episode then?

The thing is you are assuming that Helga wouldn't be different when she's able to put aside her fascade. She's fiercely loyal to Arnold, and she can take care of herself pretty much autonomously. She's smart, industrious, and offers all the toughness and street smarts that Arnold's optimistic personality and gentle nature lack. She offers the other half of his emotions, while still wanting to be nice to people.

Honestly, that's only the surface. She'd actually be a good mate for Arnold in a lot of ways. You're just projecting that she's a disfunctional person. Her one real problem is not being able to be honest, and she'll either grow out of that as she develops or time will heal that one. The rest is her family and she'll get over them or get away from them in time.

Remove her need to hide her feelings for Arnold behind bluster, and she's a strong willed but smart girl who is fiercely loyal; as the series goes on, she becomes less panicky and gets better control on her passions, even though she still feels them as well. (It's called growing up.)

The list of things she could offer him goes on as well. The movie is proof that she can be pretty laid back when the cards are laid on the table.

>According to the proposed Helga spin-off, Arnold ends up moving away a few years later and a relationship never works out between them.

It was never said it didn't work out. I would like to see a citation where it spells that out.

It was clearly a move to allow Helga to still have some emotional trouble as well as growing up to add conflict to the show. If Helga suddenly stopped needing to keep her secret, she'd have a lot fewer internal problems, and heaping external problems has it's limits on viability for a show's conflict queue.

>You're ignoring the episode where Helga has a nanny, and how everything ended up bad for Helga because of how mean she was.

That's a pretty good point. I should rewatch that one. I do like however that Helga learned something from the experience. Actually a few things. She grew more feminine (tangentially), and learned to knit. She also realizes what her anger and selfishness cost her.

I would also like to point out something which is very very often forgotten by the audiences. She's nine or ten, though often the show conveniently forgets that. Episodes like that one I feel her age should be reminded of, because it's the action of someone who is young and immature. Helga does have a lot of growing to do. But the episode also shows she is not without the potential for growth; in fact quite the opposite. It shows self-reflection and potential.

Strong willed type of people tend to be very self-punitive also, and that is Helga to a T.

>but a fundamentally good person just -wants- to help if they can

I really like that statement. Much of the frustration people feel in modern times (and the 90s was modern as are times now), is frustration at not being able to mean something. To do something positive in life.

>Likewise, the walking wounded personality of Helga sees a fundamentally good soul and this continually chips at her flinty exterior, trying to free her trapped true nature before it calcifies her heart for good. It's far easier to not let this happen because when that exterior breaks it will hurt, but something tells her it just may be worth it.

Well said. Your entire post needs more replies.

Because Helga wasn't ready to be given instructions. She needed to become ready to move, and she didn't say "Stay the same; don't change." There was more to her message. Like be nicer but you can still have these feelings. There's hope for you. Don't give up. Don't be afraid to try to grow, but don't be afraid you stay the same for now.

That shrink was a great. Honestly, Helga on the Couch is one of the greatest episodes in the whole show.

>there is a japanese term "tsundere" that explains this perfectly

The funny thing is, I know several otaku nerds who would both argue and agree. The typical Japanese tsundere is more about her own pride blocking her ability to let her feelings out and show her true self. Helga is more about fear of rejection and the shattering effects of that, instead of pride not allowing her to be open.

I always felt and still feel that Helga is a 'western tsundere' because iceberg-sized pride in female character is a more common trope in anime.