"Whisky please"

>"Whisky please"
>"... Leave the bottle"

>goes to bar to drink whiskey bottle which is 10 x the cost of one he could buy in a store

> ... and your other bottle

>gimme a beer

>"Gimme a beer."
>"One beer coming right up."

kek

>"Sir I think you've had enough"
>"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH"

>character walks into diner
>"The usual."

>"its impossible, it's no man's land. "
>dreamsworks smirk
>"true, but i am no man."

What's wrong with this?

I always ask for the usual.

>Character drinks straight from the body
>Doesn't throw up or flinch in any way

>guy changes music on the jukebox
>"put that song back on"
>"or what?"
>"... or this"

>character orders milk at the bar

>"I feel sorry for you"
>"Don't be... I feel sorry.. for you"

>walk into bar
>"Shirley Temple. Virgin."

>Walk into bar
>"Ouch"

>character has to pee after drinking at a pub
>uses the urinal but doesn't drop his pants and underwear all the way to the floor

>"i wanna feel good"
>"can you make me feel good?"

>"I'll have what shes having"

that'll be $3.50, plus tip

I have actually been cut off, I was so drunk I kept knock over glasses

>character goes downstairs for breakfast
>huge spread on the table, but all he takes is a strawberry before leaving

>MC goes into a Saloon
>entire bar goes quiet and everyone stares at him while he slowly walks down the center

i do this

>robot goes to the bar

>a can of motor oil please

>Playing poker
>"Too rich for me!"
>folds

...

wow redditfrog looks like the teenage mutant ninja turtles I loved as a child. cool

>you cawl that a noif?
>THIS is a noif

>Three Americans walk into a bar
> they file a lawsuit against the person that installed it

I liked Futurama's inversion of this
>"Bender you're drunk! Or not drunk enough. I forget how it works with robots"

>the other players who folded ages ago sigh and moan at the anti climax
>one gets up from the table to get another drink

>Two Americans are put behind bars
>Cut to 45 minutes later
>Both have been raped

>"It's getting late, time to head home"

there's actually this dope ass diner that I go to that has a meal called 'the usual'

Have you tried it?

no

''So sober, So weak''

>man goes to the bar
>orders a shot of poison