Remember when Green Lantern was pretty much Swamp Thing...

Remember when Green Lantern was pretty much Swamp Thing, Batman was a wrongly convicted black man inspired by a bat he befriended in prison, the Flash was a woman injected with hummingbird DNA, and Superman was an alien cop that came to Earth by accident?

Yes.

The future will sort of remember.

Storytime?

pls

What fresh hell is this?

Batman was never real. Just a dream of a boy from Gotham.

Nope

someone do this

A dream he dreamt as he slowly bled out in the cobbled alley, gasping through the hole in his lung as he tried to reach for his mother's hand.

bump

Guess I'll pick up the slack. Buckle up, boys. We're about to enter the weird world of Stan Lee's DC Comics.

I'll post the Batman issue and keep going ONLY if you guys commentate, because otherwise it's just boring.

...

...

Can't be Batman without at least one dead parent

Literally every issue of this series has great art, so it's a fine art showcase if nothing else

...

...

...

Well that's gratitude for ya

>Handz Horgum
Truly a character for the ages with a name like that

...

>HANDZ NO FEET

"I've been threatened by hands"
Say that out loud and realise how retarded that osunds.

He literally didn't do nothing

Dindu nuffin

It should be mentioned this is considered by far to be the worst of the one-shots.

...

>bats eating bread crumbs
lol

I like how this guy went through all the effort of framing the one guy just because he DARED to save his girlfriend's life

Really? That's odd. Like, it's hard to call any of these truly bad. Yeah, Stan's flowery ass prose and other writing quirks are a bit in your face, but none of it's a deal breaker or anything.

...

It's technically alright. The actual writing quality isn't bad, but the concepts are so bad they're hilarious.

If you want more commentary, though, maybe you should do the next issue in a separate thread and link to this storytime in the OP?

I personally think Superman is way worse

I'm fine with how much you guys are commentating so far, I'm not expecting it to blow up or anything, just a few posts here and there to keep me company, otherwise shit gets dull fast

...

The /fit/ Knight

I have to admit, I do like the idea of a Batman who trained in prison

Oh, and both parents are now dead, natch

...

Stan's Superman is... kind of a selfish asshole. Dude is really only trying to improve the world so people will stop spending money on wars, and start spending on space programs so he can leave. Though personally, I find that way too funny to be mad at it. It's so Silver Age.

Is Reverend Dark supposed to be anyone from DC?

>but the concepts are so bad they're hilarious.
I don't quite agree.
Not for all, at least- I think Batman is probably the one that works less, but Spacecop Superman, Aztec Wonder Woman and Earth-2 Green Lantern are good ideas.

and Hummingbird DNA isn't any weirder than "Raised by Condors" or "Mangusta Blood"

...

There was a Dr. Darrk that Batman fought, but I'm fairly certain it's just a coincidence

Reverend Darrk always struck me as the weakest part. I understand a common theme\enemy for the continuity, but it wasn't interesting.

...

...

>He's the only one that can finger us!
Fucks sake Handz you're making this too easy

>>Stan's Superman is... kind of a selfish asshole
so, Silver Age Superman?

I like how he's both a nice guy AND a selfish asshole at the same time.

Dig the stache

I'm unsure bread is a healthy diet for that kind of bat

This is when the story gets kind of weak IMO, when it turns into a poor man's Spider-Man

>Spider-Man
>looks nothing like a spider
>Batman
>looks exactly like a bat
What did Stan mean by this

>That's a cute outfit

>Aztec Wonder Woman
See, despite her issue being just okay, I feel she has perhaps the most potential, since Mesoamerican mythology is pretty rarely explored in fiction. Sure, every now and then you'll see Coyote or Quetzaquoatl, but that's about it.

With normal Wondy, the cliched Greek elements have been spammed to oblivion, and have become uninteresting, but Aztec stuff is relatively fresh. It'd be nice to see some of that.

Yeah, I think it would have worked better if his wrestler career was the main theme for a while.
He goes Convict->Wrestler->Superhero too fast.

I'm also undecided about his costume.
I think he should have had at least two, one as wrestler and one as superhero... or at least a progression of the design.

I mean sure, you can't have Batman without the money, otherwise he won't last long, but there had to be a better way of solving that problem than doing Spidey's origin again

Also, I'm pretty sure wrestling with giant wings on your back ain't kosher

Aang?

...

Errr, can you really become a millionaire overnight just by being really, really good at wrestling?

Cute, but yeah, do a little research Stan!

You didn't need to break the poor guy's skylight, man

...

DC heroes as written by Stan Lee.

Am I the only one who could never take the whole "I will strike fear into the hearts of criminals by evoking the image of a bat!" thing seriously?

I'm sorry, but bats are adorable. Most of them eat fruit, make cute little squeaky noises, and sleep by hanging upside down. Yeah, they carry diseases, but unless any given batperson goes around biting people to infect them with shit, they ain't scary.

This is when 's point becomes very valid, Wayne gets a whole new costume so it looking the same doesn't really make sense

That costume looks so fucking terrible

Yeah, but if a human-sized bat came at you in the dark of the night, you bet your ass you'd shit your pants

it's a nice twist on Spidey's origins, though, Wayne being actively successful.

...

So its just Spider-man origins

Huh, good point. Never saw it that way

It's a shame Stan's DC villains are so weak

The cape and mask is cool, but he needs more to his base outfit.

...

that's why I think it would have worked better in a longer format.
Have Wayne having a dual life of wrestler and vigilante for a while, showing he keeps getting money while learning to investigate and being a vigilante- hell, have him using the wrestling costume as vigilante playing on the fact it would be crazy for the Real Batman to be a vigilante, so it's a mythomaniac.

we are talkihng about AMERICAN criminals of the 30s. Most of them probably though bat were envoys of hell

>Bats aren't bulletproof... but there's no reason why YOU couldn't be.
This line always make me laugh.

Literally the ending of Burton's Batman

Pedro, is it you? are you buying the smash TPB?

>and mask is coo
Disagree. That's the weakest part imo

...

...

It isn't brilliant, but I like it, bit on the nose perhaps.

IMHO he needs some color to break the black(like, I dunno, a yellow utility\champion belt?) AND a more stylised(but not too much) mask

The bat-head is nice and gives good panels like fourth here but it's otherwise too complex.

...

Thnx senpai

...

...

No problem

Alright, next up is Stan Lee and Jim Lee's Wonder Woman!

Thanks, I think I never managed to find a physical copy of this

...

I'll be skipping the intro page since it's the same for all the one-shots.

This and Sandman are probably the more Kirby-ish of the lot. WW especifically almost reads like an Aztec Thor

No problemo

...

First the Tangent thread, now this. You really do love these "in name only" universe.

Fun fact: Steve, Lois Lane and Dinah Drake are the only DC civilian identities present in this universe

It does read a lot like the Tangent OP now that you mention it

...

This does beg the question as to why he's telling his daughter about how her mother died just now