HOWEVER

"You caught a gold ball?! 150 POINTS!"
"You saved the entire Wizarding World by stopping a Dark Wizard coming back to power? 60 Points."
"You stopped a rampaging troll that would have caused untold damage to the school and possibly killed or severely injured students and staff? 5 points."
"You killed a giant snake, stopped the same Dark Wizard for the third time and saved the entire school from being closed forever as well as saving an innocent man from going to prison? Here kid, have a shiny trophy."

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if you're in one of the other houses and feel dumbledore is being biased in favor of gryffindor who would you talk to about it? or would you just have to suck it up?

Wouldn't the troll be super easy to defeat by one of the teachers? Like one flick of a wand easy?

It's all made up arbitrary bullshit. A perfect education for the English society. Teaches them their place. At the mercy of their superiors.

>"Entry to the forest and the third floor is forbidden for those do not wish to suffer a most painful death"
>doesn't put a fence or defensive spell around the forest/third floor that prevents entry to students

>I caught you blowing a hot load of cum into a cauldron,15 pts to gryffindor

why is it perfectly fine for pubescent, hormonal children to carry multipurpose firearms and torture devices to school

“No!”

imagine that you're Prefect of Slytherin House in your final year of Hogwarts, about to win the House Cup and you're so proud that you can put that on your Wizard Resume when you go out to apply for Wizard jobs, only for that old fuck Dumbledore to go HOWEVER and award Gryffindor the House Cup because they have Harry Potter in it

I'd be fucking pissed and just join the Death Eaters. Fuck Hogwarts.

unlike america, they aren't likely to shoot up the place

Can somebody explain why doesn't wizards just spam avada kedavra always?? Are they retards?

>go to hogwarts
>try the sorting hat
>get put on hufflepuff
What would you do?

European Wizard court would ask why they didnt use stun instead.

The given reason in the books is that you have to 100% want someone dead if you use it, so only sociopaths, crazy people or people with strong willpower can do it.

what if the shooter is really fat and never exercises

As long as snakeniggers gets the shaft it doesn't matter to him.

MADMSN

>bunch of hormonal teenagers in a building for the summer

Gotta weed out the stupid students before they graduate and become stupid wizards.

The short of it is that everyone in the wizarding world, other than the dark wizards, are total pussies and retards and can't or won't use the killing spell. Situation normal for a self-insert, wish-fulfillment teen novel series, but it bares saying.

If you really think about it though, why hasn't anyone come up with a spell that removes your hands or slices open your femoral artery, this sort of magic clearly exists in the setting. Obviously JK is a hack, but you would think that the idea would have at least crossed her mind?

he would just get an assault mobility scooter

explain the entire Weasley family then

>naked in a hot tub with a cute girl ghost
>don't fuck the ghost girl

Savants.

If I enter the forest or third floor will I die?

>You killed a giant snake etc.
He actually got 400 points for that in the book.

Mary Sues

This is the longest I have seen one of these threads go without the pasta

Because teachers have these devices, too, and are much more skilled at using them.

>turning yourself into a furry after stealing supplies from a teacher
>lose no points

Because its story for kids about magic. Its not supposed to be dark and edgy. You should check out Dorohedoro for that kind of magic.

They attack each other constantly at Hogwarts.

Where's the fucking pasta?

Why didn't they use Hermione's time turner to turn back time and stop voldemort from killing harry's parents?

>you have to be a real freak to ever genuinely want someone dead under any circumstances
That's how you know it's written by a woman that has never suffered anything.

>or slices open your femoral artery,
sectum sempra. Snape still best wizard

No. HOWEVER it would be extremely painful.

You have been single handed one of the greatest wizards to ever grace this school and have changed people's lives eternally but YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE? GET OUT! YOU'RE EXPELLED!

Was Luna's dad molesting her?

So Rowling's position on school shootings is to arm the teachers and give them extensive training? How American of her.

The time turner doesn't change time, it's all self fulfilling

>"DEH!"

Why didn't the "wizards" just cast themselves out of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

It's their designated suicide forest

Please, American teachers unions would never allow this

>when your school has a terrorist training camp to radicalize children into wizard-supremacist extremists led by an ex-Wizard-SS

Why were the teachers pissed at the students for getting caught in a troll attack?
Why did Harry and Ron feel the need to lie about it. Why wasn't Hermione allowed to be in the bathroom?

But that wouldn't prevent you from spamming it. Just keep repeating the spell. I rewatched the movies a couple days ago and was more annoyed than ever about how stupid the Harry Potter world is. Nothing makes sense, wizards are retardly incompetent, and Harry Potter is a terrible protagonist.

How does that make sense?

>"You caught a gold ball?! 150 POINTS!"
Quidditch points aren't house points

It's still a nonsensical point system created by a vapid world builder.

are you sure?

>Why were the teachers pissed at the students for getting caught in a troll attack?
> Why did Harry and Ron feel the need to lie about it. Why wasn't Hermione allowed to be in the bathroom?

Why didn't Voldemort just send some death eater to the Dursley's with a gun to shoot little Harry?

It changes time but its changes were always there because time travel. Time travel doesn't make sense to things that perceive time as linear.

"Yes!"

>when your school sorts students into houses based on their personality traits and abilities and you make a house specifically for the rejects who aren't smart, brave or clever and then tell them straight up that they're the rejects.

>that image
OH NO NO NONONO

To a teacher, yeah, but not a student. Big magical creatures like Trolls and Dragons have skin that's resistant to magic so you have to be clever to take them down, other than attacking it with its club you'd have to hit it somewhere weak like the eyes or conjure/transfigure something to smack it around with, or use a lot of wizards to just overpower its resistance by all casting the same spell at the same spot.

Dourbledorf was a secret Deatheater and through his shitty decisions and bias turned more wizkids into Voldemort-Fanboys than Tom Spiddle could ever dream of.

It's really hard to kill something that doesn't have a soul

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StableTimeLoop

Novikov consistency principle

Where is the rest of that comic?

The wheezers aren't stupid, they're just poor and rabbit-like

>"Doi!"

It just works!

Daily reminder that Wizard People, Dear Reader is the best version of sorcerers stone.

Make sure you hunt down the old crappy quality version, as it's Neelys better performance

That's it. What more do you want?

Didn't Myrtle actually try to have spooky ghost sex with Harry in the books or something

Per the books, the curse, "has a powerful bit of magic behind it."
So, even if you have killer intent, very few wizards have the magical chops to spam it for very long. Kinda like going OOM. Also, the one guy we do see spam it in the books kinda goes into a berserker frenzy and ends up dying himself.

Hermione lied and said she went looking for the troll so the teachers were mad at her instead of telling the truth that Ron was bullying her and made her spend all day crying which would have gotten him in trouble.

And that's where Hermione fell for Ron forever. Ron knew the power of negging.

This?

youtube.com/watch?v=xjYPfOnuf9w

You shot a man right in between the eyes? 10 points!

Dumbledore's protective magic on the place.

Fucking refball

At no point in any timeline did Buckbeak die, the trio only thought he did. At no point in any timeline did Harry or Sirius get a nighost souljob. The time turners create a stable time loop, or at least they do when used responsibly, as Harry and Hermione did thanks to Hermione's knowledge of how this shit works and Dumbledore's preemptive shenanigans. There was always the opportunity to use time magic to fix the problems at the end of Azkaban because the problems were predictable and could he foreseen ahead of time, and Dumbledore manipulated events to make sure such efforts had the opportunity to succeed preemptively, a la distracting the headsman outside Hagrid's. On the other hand, nobody knew the Potters were gonna get ganked until it had already happened, so no time travel work around.
Also, saving James and Lily is tantamount to saving Voldemort, so...

still circular logic
>why didn't they use timetravel to alter the past
>because they didn't

Cuz they couldn't find the Dursleys for the same reason Voldemort couldn't touch Harry for a long time.

Limit is 5 hours.

>apply reason and logic to Harry potter
>entire universe falls apart
>meanwhile lord of the rings has zero flaws

Eagles

So why didn't Dumbledore think it was inappropriate to keep a child in The cupboard under the stairs?

Gotta love the guy who barges in with a sarcastic reply after multiple posts have already been made which actually explains things.

Its origin myth still has the major flaw of the Bible where you have an all power all knowing all benevolent God creating a universe with evil.

Why didn't Death Eaters get stopped by love magic like all the time?
Why does the "just move in with your relatives" clause stop working after you turn 17?

>So why didn't Dumbledore think it was inappropriate to keep a child in The cupboard under the stairs?
He's English and old. That's just how they raised kids there for centuries.

Wizards are all bred into sociopaths, Lily was literally the only one fighting death eaters who loved her child because she was a mudblood.

as long as he was with blood relatives he was magically protected, he was just happy they took him in so he didnt get wrecked

Harry Potter is pretty retarded shit.

>Why didn't Death Eaters get stopped by love magic like all the time?
Death Eaters don't have horcruxes

>Why does the "just move in with your relatives" clause stop working after you turn 17?
17 is adult in the wizarding world, the magic ackowledges that I guess.

That's the one. You can google an archive.org link to that illegal-art link and download the two audio files there

Nagul Dragons spooked them

>hurr durr why didn't they use eagles
Because eagles are cowards, as evidenced by their appearance only after Sauron was dead.

Pretty sure the nazgul didn't have dragons at first.
Also pretty sure the eagles kicked nazgul dragon ass like hard at the end of ROTK.
Try again, sweetie.

>Why didn't Death Eaters get stopped by love magic like all the time?
Because it's triggered by a willing self-sacrifice, which is apparently pretty rare.
>Why does the "just move in with your relatives" clause stop working after you turn 17?
Plot. In-universe explanation: limits of the spell.

Smoke weed and be comfy. Better question is what would you do if you get sorted into Ravenclaw, the nerd house.

Have we even seen a single nerd from Ravenclaw?

Fuck Luna Lovegood.

Why didn't Voldemort and Death eaters just drink a luck potion and waltz into Hogwarts?

You’re a powerful wizard

Chat with my other nerd friends while all the Ravenclaw girls pine for the Gryffindor D.