Resident Evil

I'm sorry, I love these movies.

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Please have yourself chemically castrated or just castrated, whatever you'd prefer.

its a guilty pleasure of mine as well.

You don't understand, they just killed Carlos (Oded Faher). The balls.

(You)
I fucking loathe you because these films are foul abominations made by a hack only to self insert his ugly talentless wife. These movies should not of been made.
Resident evil as a videogame has more artistic merit and integrity in 1 game than the ENTIRE film series combined. Your a pleb but at least you admitted it and may god have mercy on your soul.

I love the games and hated the first movie because it departed so much from them. But then the second one was so fun that I learned to love them.

There's a few good ones that I love because they're comfy guilty pleasures of mine.

The Final Chapter though...

>Inexcusably bad, not just RE movie bad, but fucking horrendous
>The editing is next level bullshit, especially since many of these actors know how to fight and film fight scenes, there's no reason to make so many cuts
>Despite being helmed by the same director as the original he brazenly chose to retcon his entire goddamn series to hell

I just understand how we let it get so bad.

This

Hell yes.

These are amazing.

Yeah The Final Chapter is probably my least favorite. It's kino at times, though.

We all have guilty pleasures. I used to love the annual Fast and Furious viewings with my coworkers.

>the las plagas parasite!

I agree with you on everything else but Milla Jovovich is hot.

He didn't marry her until movie number three.

Resident Evil > Extinction > Apocalypse > The Final Chapter >>>>> Retribution > Afterlife

While we're at it:

Underworld > Evolution > Rise of the Lycans > Awakening > Blood Wars

>I love the games and then the second one was so fun that I learned to love them.

No, you don't get to use that word, if you like these movies, these films should be locked away in a vault and forgotten forever until somebody with real talent remakes it under the "Biohazard" ip to distance from this dumpster fire

If only OP would actually listen to this...

Retribution and Afterlife were the most fun, though.

Not really, and I couldn't even tell you what the plot was while I can for the other flicks. Wesker's autism was way too overpowering.

The funniest part about these movies is every single one will take entire parts of the first 1 and stick it in there like it's some kind of homage to it. I can't count how many times they revisit that same damn underground facility and do the laser trap skit or put the zombie dogs in there for no reason.

>ugly talentless wife
el retardo.

I actually dragged my father to the second one when it came out. I feel so ashamed. Don't do that shit to people you care about.

Why apologize? They're all good except for Extinction and The Last Chapter... which still have their moments.

Well, he has the talentless part right, just not the ugly part.

The world has gone mad

Yes... afterlife and retribution are at the top for me too

these are what crap like John Wick wishes it could be - an elevation of dumb action to kinography.

>you're just another asshole
KINO

no sir. we have gone sane.

You can't tell me this isn't the most kino opening ever:
youtu.be/SSUhVLaxlZc

who the fuck is paying the random umbrella goons and what the fuck are they buying with their pay

>Here take this keycard you faggot
>just go.!

Mel Brooks is the only Jew I've ever liked.

...

These movies are fun. It would be nice to see some one else direct a Biohazard film.

Also Marilyn Manson did a pretty good job on the score. Arguably the only good thing to come out of the movies.

youtube.com/watch?v=9L7mZH2u3Qc

Nothing wrong with loving a movie even if it's shitty for the fun of it. It's only wrong to pay for movies you know are going to be shit (emoji movie probably best example).

The first two are so bad they're good. Too bad about everything after them though.

its a shame they never got julia voth to play jill

i'm on board with the first one, every other one after that is just ??????? then :(

>loved seeing Wesker as a shaky ally in retribution that I was legitimately pissed it ended up being a ruse in Final Chapter
I wanted to see him make everybody pledge allegiance to Wesker before getting down to business.

I will say this.
I really enjoy the cgi films alot more but this moment in particular i mean i just wonder who the hell thought this looked good?

I always watched them as well just because MJ was dream waifu. But this last one she finally started to show her age, had one too many babies I guess. Attraction was gone and I'm finally done with the series, glad it's over I guess.

I gave up on the CG movies after the first one. I love the games but the tie-in movies are so boring and fan-wanky. I'll take Milla and Co. and their retarded adventures over this shit.

I like the 2nd one the most

Me too. It kind of felt like it belonged in the '90s. Fun decent horror-action flick. Good-guy Nemesis was awesome.

They're not even aiming at each other for fucks sake.

how come any time there was a black guy in their squad that was usually the one milla had the sexual chemistry with? is paul a legit cu**old?

>Star power nigga

What only one who had that kind of chemistry was Luther, who was legit best original character.

Doc and One Shade were just partners.

The problem with these films is that the main character is just Paul W.S. Anderson's OC waifu. Characters like Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, Ada Wong etc are just there tangentially, if they're even there at all.

The 3rd movie is the only watchable one.

So what is the whole outcome in RE World? Humans go extinct or do we somehow come back?

And this is a shame because Sienna Guillory was a sexy Jill, especially in the Raccoon City costume.

Everyone who works in Hollywood is thoroughly mentally and emotionally destroyed by the kikes.

>Those low hanging, almost granny-esque tits
>Hot

No.

No lol

Humanity is pretty much completely fucked, there's literally no recovery from the sheer global devastation whether you have an anti-virus or not

fag

in all fairness, if you were married to a roastie like milla jovovich, you'd probably have to find some way to fetishize her past too, otherwise it would drive you crazy knowing all the dicks she had in her, plus he's british so getting blacked is basically a way of life.

The series is the embodiment of the equilibrium that has been established between vidya and hollywood. Crappy enough to ward off most producers from vidya adaptations, yet strangely entertaining enough to draw enough dimes to sustain itself.
Capeshit is on death's door, when you're choking down CoD adaptations you'll be wishing for the good ol' days of Rezi

Not even.
There's an airborne cure, but it'll take years to fully cleanse the earth. Meanwhile Milla rides off into the sunset battling monsters.

The only reason they made so much money and kept being made was because of Japan. Ate that shit up.

The Earth is still completely destroyed though, practically all nations are completely depopulated.

The cure won't change anything. There's still only like a few thousand humans left, if that.

But at least there will be no more zombies.

>tfw Lucas could have cast a bunch of nips and kept Star Wars insulated from Hollywood faggotry forever

Friendly reminder that they're rebooting the franchise and my bet is they're going to try and match RE7's aesthetic and it will pretty much be Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

m8, all attractive women, unless they have lived their entire life in a convent, has had endless mileages of dick slammed inside of them.

It's completely unavoidable.

I would marry Milla Jovavich in a heartbeat.

This.

It only upsets men who haven't done their fair share of whoring and slagging, which makes them bitter and insecure

hahahahahahahahah
what the fuck is that ?

Resident Evil Vendetta is kino by the way. It's John Wick with zombies and best girl.

youtu.be/KvMWEsejG2Q

Underage.

And best boy.

as would i, we all would, so i don't blame him

agreed. men just have different coping mechanisms for dealing with that reality. basically you have two options, head in the sand and pretend it never happened, or fetishize it and become a cuckold.

not true, ive met guys who have fucked 30 plus women and are still butt mad their spouse has taken other dicks. it's not a matter of how many sexual partners men have had, it's a matter of how late in life they had their first. if a guy doesn't lose his virginity by 16 has a chance to start the process of becoming bitter

You listen to this.....
These movies are complete trash and not even good trash like Friday the 13th 1-6 or A Nightmare On Elm Street 1-4. No. I loved the first 4 RE games and it crushes me that the incredible mood and atmosphere of those games was replaced with soul deadening MTV style Matrix ripoffs by that slimy little limey faggot Anedrson who only kept making them to keep his whore from leaving his limp wristed ass!!!FACT!!!

...

I don't understand how you couldn't just pretend it never happened, unless you let your bitch tell you about all the other men she fucked at which point you're already doomed.

Going to bed now. Thanks for the RE wanking, kiddos.
- OP

Like Moot said in his farewell address, "cuckolding is the thinking man's fetish". Some guys are just better at not dwelling on stuff.

Nightmare on Elm St 1 is NOT trash.

what am I looking at

OHHH... So THAT'S what he meant. Okay.

Sienna Guillory's ass.

Next you're going to tell me that the Friday The 13th and Halloween movies are good you shit taste slasher movie loving pig.

Halloween is kino you fucking plebe.
Friday the 13th is irrefutably trash, though.

where

Hahahahahaha.

>Halloween is kino
>Slashershit EVER being kino

That's exactly the kind of thing I'd expect a pseud to say.

Retribution is the good thing to come out of these. That being said, I watched them all except for the final chapter...which after retribution...I was actually excited for it

Final Chapter was fucking awesome

it was non stop action, it was insane

i liked the first movie