Wat

Wat

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litty

L

well, it's objectively a better movie

Buh muh fanboys and Chinese audience

BASED Rock giving us a RAUNCHY and FUN lil' holiday romp made FOR THE FANS, destroying the OUT OF TOUCH and UNMASCULINE star wars

looks like litty is back on the menu boys

There are only TWO kinds of people in the world.

Those who like The Last Jedi, and those who like Jumanji.

Who /Raunchy/ here?

Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.

The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.

My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP. Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB. When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS. 10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!

how the hell ? who watches this crap?

>who watches this crap?
families with childrens I suppose

i watched it with my wife.

What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little out of touch critic? I'll have you know that the FANS are LOVING Baywatch (tm), and there've been reports of numerous people pissing in theatres, and I have over 300 POSITIVE reviews. I am trained in acting and can bench more than the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me than just another critic. I will make you LAUGH the f*ck out with you pissing yourself the likes of which has never been seen before in theatres, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, BRO. As we speak I am contacting Kevin Hart in central intelligence and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for some SUMMER FUN, dude. RAUNCHY R-RATED COMEDY that expels the contents from the pathetic little thing you call your bladder. You're f*cking boring, man. I can be on any television set, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my WWE Wrestling technique. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all my FANS on Twitter and I will use it to its full extend to shame you into watching Baywatch (tm), you little weakling. If only you could have known what uncool vibes your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now YOU'RE WELCOME, you goddamn critic. I will get my FANS to piss laughter all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking gone, BRO

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>the rock, kevin heart and jack black vs literally who star queers

come on guys this is not even a competition.

It would make me so happy to see THE ROCK go around and crush every critic.

This

"Shockingly"

LITT AND LET DIE

I for one cannot wait for some critic to use this as proof that The Last Jedi is failing to entice audiences only because we're all braindead neanderthals who love shit like this.

Rock finally wins.

It‘s a fun movie and the characters are likeable stereotypes with a neat twist on the formula. Basically what Star Wars 4 to 6 was and the new films aren‘t.

>shockingly

>Nigga....

At an end your reign is Kathleen, and not short enough it was

Dwane probably hates critics and journalists because they remind him of those weak little interviewers in the WWE he used to bully:

youtube.com/watch?v=Dqg-DrlMjn0
youtube.com/watch?v=mW6Kv9dFRDo
youtube.com/watch?v=QmOnWWcaPxg

youtube.com/watch?v=WobLWcqaDAI

Name one movie where Dwayne doesn't pull "le rock face" with that raised eyebrow.

One.

The last jedi, duh.

That second vid could get him in trouble lmfao

>Hulk Hogan destroys Gawker
>The Rock destroys Disney Star Wars

Holy shit I love professional wrestlers now

Why is this so funny, it's fucking stupid

Is that Jumanji movie really that good?

Not that good, but it's alright. Doesn't shit on the original either. It is also infinitely better than tlj.

So how long until Disney buys the rights to Jumanji in order to try and cash in on that Nostalgia train?

IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLL....

I watched it for my b-day with friends,it was surprisingly good.
No politics, just fun. Even had some Indy feels from time to time.

Disney cannot buy Sony since japs made it illegal for corporate buyouts of domestic companies.

based big dimes rock BTFOing star warsetty

BASED ROCK

TLJ
Domestic $572 mil
Worldwide $1.2 bil
Opening $220 mil

Jumanji
D: $249 mil
W: $519 mil
O: $36 mil

What’s the argument?
Box office mojo is source

Post more Rock kino

I watched it with my wife's son

Well, after 24 hours of analysis, bathing in soy milk and meditation I have come to conclusion why Jumanji beat TLJ at the box office:
Jumanji is an apolitical comedy, aimed at providing pure enjoyment in the viewer. No strings attached - come and laugh your ass off. TLJ on the other hand is full of plot objects instead of real characters, which provide hooks for political statements of various groups. That's not what a typical viewer looks for in a movie.

should i unironically watch this alone? its a family movie but i want to watch it..

I assume the argument is, that TLJ is not meeting the high end expectations TFA placed to it and is looking like to make aroun 700 million less WW.

Jumanji on the other hand is a movie no-one asked for and could have crash and burned hard, but that has for some reason not only made back its budget, has done so already times 5. It is a genuine surprise hit that managed to dethrone the biggest franchise in the world on its third weekend and is currently out-grossing it daily basis.

Fucking jumanji making half what a mainline star wars movie pulled in. Disney should unincorporate and liquidate itself

I'm glad,I love the main cast,hope the next one has a new set of characters,maybe make jumanji a mobile app this time that pops on appstores for free and like a shitton of people get sucked in or something.

>that title

How can u get a job writing articles if you haven't passed 7th grade english

Why does yoda turn into a puppet in ep4 to ep8 ?

gi joe: retalittyation

Does anyone have picture of low sellings of toys of Finn from nu-Star Wars?

Mommy, mommy, why is that black man's toy 10 dollars cheaper then the other ones?

Pure pleb filter. Betas hates it.

Reality is racist ma lil nigga!

Bump

>smoldering stare intensity

why am I laughing at this shite

bump

lost it at JONNY D

bump

bump another one

Also disney is afraid that THE ROCK is going to demolish everything disney owns with the power of LITTY memes.

It is. It's just a fantastic script and a top-notch job of casting. It effortlessly lands every laugh and is a genuinely touching story. I thought Hollywood had forgotten how to make movies like this.

bump

I need to put my mouth on Karen's tummy. This isn't just a whim. It feels like a biological imperative.

DELET

holy fuck

It had a far sexier female lead.

bump

>ywn rubby her tummy

This. I cried at the ending with Gillengirl telling Rockboy that she'd love him all the same outside of Jumanji.

CAN YOU SMELLELLELLELL

bump

watched it with my swedish trap bf and he edged me the whole movie then i CAME

...

>it would never be allowed in the year of our lord 2018
SJW's are a cancer.

The price point is getting very contentious though.
Parents can't affords to take their kids to a movie that's a shitpile, because it was boosted in the media as the second coming of God's dick.
Only to then find out that a better movie came out a week or two later, that all their kid's pals are raving about, but the same media wonks have given a poor rating to.

People remember that 100 bucks they blew on the shitty movie. And they remember the assholes who told them to waste their money.
That effect is doubled when the movie that they panned turns out to be the family movie of the season.

This is why TLJ is getting raped by audience feedback.
It's not just the movie itself. It's the media cabal that fucked them over that they're pushing back against also.

Day by day its grossing more. Which is embarrassing enough, then again Jumanji is a fun flick and TLJ is the swan song of a dying franchise

Should I watch the lil raunch romp that has fans pissing themselves across the globe: Baywatch?

>swan song

That sounds way too flattering and bittersweet a descriptor. I nominate "turkey death rattle."

>no mention of litty anywhere
unlitty
litty
i did, and it's pretty fun

the best copypasta of all dimensions

idk but we all know who watches TLJ more than once

Jumanji was fun. It didn't take itself seriously but still had a complete and logical plot. The story was probably tighter than TLJ.

out of touch critics
GET LITTY AND PISS

NO PEPE DON'T DO IT! DON'T BECOME ONE OF THEM!!!

It's more like the screeching and flailing of a sack of cats that just had a dozen cinderblocks dropped on them.

because black people, at the time of the last census, are just 12% of the population

Death Sticks

now this guy gets it

>shockingly

Are you proud user?

>for some reason

It's no great mystery. Jumanji' just a better fucking movie. Better cast, better script, better, less in-your-face message, better, infinitely more organic comedy, and as an added bonus, they managed to honor the original instead if dig it up and piss on its corpse.

dude... I just got really high and went with my friends...

damn I miss the attitude era

Daily reminder that the Han Solo movie opens two weeks after Infinity War and a couple of days before Deadpool 2.
Star Wars is dead.
Disney wins either way, but at least we'll be able to bury Star Wars.

I

>We get to see Star Wars crash and burn before capeshit
I'm not enjoying this timeline, to be honest.

I bought tickets to Jumanji and didn't even watch it just so it would edge out the last Jedi