JSA Storytime: X-Statix

Good evening owls,

FINAL ISSUES

hey, that looks like Carcassonne

OH GOD WE'RE UP FOR THE BEST FIGHT IN THIS ARC BOYS AND GIRLS

I'm totally excite for this

Mr. Sensitive might be the best character in the whole book, other than Doop

Hello, Storyteller.

What are your thoughts on JLA: Act of God? I ask for no particular reason, certainly not that Preacher user storytimed it this evening, the sadistic bastard.

I don't remember it well but I think it sucks from what I remember?

Was that you forcing your kinky sexual fantasies on us all here Cranky?

LOL

I kinda miss this older-school Iron Man

He probably(?) trends more admirable than horrible, whereas like U-Go Girl was admirable and pathetic and Dead Girl is admirably horrible.

>Preacher user storytimed it this evening, the sadistic bastard.
I am sorry Sup Forums

lol we know you're not sorry

He's heroic but there's a lot to unpack there, and he's as fucked up as any of them but in a way that leads to really good internal monologue

The introduction with the Russian roulette is absolute character-defining gold.

ALL-NEW

ALL-DIFFERENT

It's the story of all the super powered beings spontaneously losing their powers and becoming total emotional wrecks because Doug Moench thinks these people cannot live with themselves unless they have powers.

Such highlights include: Clark Kent becoming an alcoholic, Kyle Raynor becoming a crazy loner who obsesses over being defeated, several heroes sucking Batman's cock to be heroes again, Steel getting squished, and Diana of Themyscira becoming a born again Christian.

So yeah, it kinda sucks.

>ctrl + f 'robot'
>1 result
I thought cranky was pretty sexless except for 'borgs guess I was wrong.

Any comic which mentions the Cathars gets a bonus point from me. Fuck you Lake of Fire.

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CONTINUITY!!!!

Oh, I guess whoever made that post deleted it. It was about a superhero world where everyone transported their consciousness to robot bodies, so I figured it was either Cranky or Warren Ellis.

No. I keep that shit to myself for the most part. Though I am a little curious as to which posts you think are me.

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>Surrender Monkey
I feel like this makes it into every fucking comic with a British writer.

YESSSS

Sorayama was a visionary. Will delete post if you need me too, OP.

naw we're safe under image limit for sure

This needs to be in the MCU. It'll justify the whole thing. It may be the greatest fight scene in any Marvel comic.

I will go see an MCU movie for this

This one But it appears to be deleted

Ummm

ummmm

>I figured it was either Cranky or Warren Ellis
>either

TRUE, we know Warren Ellis lurks here.

... This is porn. This is right out of some 14 year old fangirl's slashfic.

Alright, which one of you send this into Marvel as a teen? Come on, fess up.

>eat finger

kino

You know, I bet there isn't even a fic of this where they fuck. How disappointing is that?

OP, you really should try not being a faggot sometime.

Was this cover a len... watchamacallit. A hologram cover? The background sort of resembles how they turn out when they're scanned.

This is like the best crackfic making it into canon

sometimes fandom sucks

The wine and food are easy to love

No, see, if I were Warren Ellis, Karla wouldn't have been written like a low-rent Starscream, and she and Melissa probably would've hatefucked.

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RIP Ken Russell.

So Twitter's discovered the Chaykin comic and is having various levels of freakout, also including the next round of "Why is Image not more aggressively editing what they publish/why aren't they accepting my pitch"

LOL

You're a gem, senpai. Never change.

Lots and lots of "I don't understand how Image works/it's Bad for not working like how I want it to".

The MCU is saved!

best end

Someone did storytime that, and it was a clusterfuck of comments:

Yeah on twitter I saw Busiek talking about someone dropping Astro City because he mentioned that comic a few days ago.

People are wild.

YESSSSSS

I just knew straight from the pitch 1) I had no interest in reading it and 2) It was going to piss off and confuse everyone at every point of the political spectrum.

Alt-right babbies getting triggered by the solicit on here, people on twitter shocked, I say SHOCKED at the notion Image could publish a book that handles political or progressive content poorly. Maybe they should check out some older Image content, huh.

Hellooooo new reaction image

>tfw people were praising the art in the story time thread
Goddammit, Sup Forums, where the fuck have your standards gone?

Sup Forums likes Howard Chaykin, /m/ likes Cutie Honey... How fucked is it that Sup Forums of all boards has actual taste with its regular Slayers threads? For fucks sake.

Not gonna lie, I find the general treatment of women in Chaykin's comics pretty rough, and his kinks are definitely not my kinks. But he also likes, clearly, writing about absolute shitbags with equal-opportunity glee, so.

"also virgins"

this really is the best comic

>Okay Fabio prepare for an ass whipping

Everyone Allred is so classic but his Thor is the best

IIRC at this point Mike Tyson was an ear-biting meme

Wow /r9k/ goes really far back.

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wait Doop CAN talk?

this is marvelous cartooning

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Man, nobody in fandom reads comics more than ten years old, and none of them seem to read anything that's not a-list.

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Sarah Horrocks talking about it right now, as usual has more to say than raw or faux outrage.

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Hah, yeah, Emma is sheer outrage, Horrocks is all "huh, wonder where it's going, like the POV"

>Doh

>I was just pretending to be retarded

These women are my fave "sublimated urge to violence" in anything ever I think.

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And what's even more fucked is that those same surface fans treat you like you're the asshole for getting interested in anything that isn't Batman.

Well fuck you too, ya fuckin' trend surfers. If giving a shit about the Power Company, the JSA, or the Legion of Super-Heroes makes me a hipster, then let me grab my blazer and tie, bitch.

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It is said that every time someone mentions the Power Company, Kurt Busiek's heart grows a little.

LoSH was in Injustice, user. Take back the mainstream.

>last panel
Nick Spencer's literally dozens of issues and thousands of tweets BTFO.

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God, I miss the old Hawkeye outfit.

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me too

Yeah, it was a mess and made no sense but goddammit he actually looked like a superhero.

Thinking of mainstream LoSH portrayals just reminds me how triggered I am by Supergirl's shipping choices.

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are they???

LAST ISSUE

Dead Girl is the best.

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>x-statix have a huge emotional crisis over being called responsible and selfless by cap
How can this comic be so perfect?

They are absurdly underrated, and I have no idea why they didn't take off.

Fuck yeah they were. And our boy Querl was the hero of that piece of shit too. Amidst all the edgelords and their stupid drama, he's the only one who's actually interested in getting shit done.

Sometimes we get nice things

>Dead-girl! I think she's dead!

That made me laugh.

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dat Reed

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REEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING SHITHUMANS GET OUT OF MY X-BOOKS

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