Tell Confess-A-Bear your deepest, darkest secret

Tell Confess-A-Bear your deepest, darkest secret

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youtube.com/watch?v=yPclFQikaQY
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I stole a balloon

I've masturbated to gay furry porn.

I USED SQUIDWARD'S CLARINET TO UNCLOG MY TOILET

I constantly get Swamp-thing and Man-thing confused.

I ride Dragon Dildos.

Me too. What the hell is the difference?

That's not a secret, that's a requirement.

I have drawn MLP porn, and not even originally, I've just stuck genitals on already made fanart and passed it as my own.

I hate niggers

I love you guys

I unironically enjoy Shezow and not for the fetish, I just, like the cartoon

I want to fuck an old man from a movie from the 70's

if it wasn't for ocd, i'd be a grade A normie

I love Sup Forums

I can't poop at work

I would fuck that bear up the ass

I'm from Sup Forums

I can't tell if I want to post an actual dark secret or a trolling funny one.

I've discovered a new fetish for centaurs of all things. Also teddy bears make me uncomfortable for some reason.

I go on wizard chan sometimes so I can feel good about myself.

I actually like SU.

I still buy slotts spiderman because even though i hate everything it's doing, i like spiderman to much to not read it

I like Family Guy

>of all things

It's really not that strange.

oh shit me too

I dream of fucking alien reptiles and have happy lives with em.

You can post both and we'll never know.

My confession is that sometimes when somebody makes a thread where the OP tells us to name just one thing, I sometimes make several posts with many different things. Sometimes in pick your waifu threads, I'll pick up to four different waifus.

I want to become Doctor Doom so bad, that apart from studying physics at Uni, I'm reading occult bullshit (and crapping myself 'cause I'm a scaredy cat). I have fantasies about becoming a dictator with concubines, and daydream about an accident that will wreck my face and give me rage.

Help.

I wish I was shocking suzy.

I think I might be what people call a "fujoshi"

I make a living making futa/gay porn on source film maker.

Godspeed user

Oh, user, I'm so sorry. Your only option now is to commit honorable Sudoku.

But are you will to be cucked by one?

I read Marvel Zombies

BvS and MoS are two of my favorite movies.
I write shipping fanfiction.
I frequently post in waifu threads
I listen to girlfriend audios.
I have a three inch erection.
When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, and would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice. He would also beat me if I ever denied him.

>there will be robots taking away jobs by automatically animating futa porn in the unforeseen future

i lick tree holes

i have an inflation fetish
and the rabbids used to terrify me

>That last thing
Is he in jail now?

I exaggerate everything when I tell stories or sometimes change who was with me depending on who i'm talking to to make the story more relatable.
(For example if i'm talking to my fiance i'll change my ex into someone else so it's not weird talking about an ex just to tell a good story)

FIRST THINGS FIRST MAN YOU FUCKIN WITH THE WORST I BE STICKIN PINS IN YOUR HEAD LIKE A FUCKIN NURSE

about that, I really like rabbids

Jesus Christ how you holding up man?

that's terrible, i've always had to smell my own penis

Im fat

My ideal type of girl is someone who has none of the interests I have.

I like to hold hands with my girlfriend

i just drew fanart of a porn comic drawn by someone i absolutely hate for personal reasons

its furry porn

that's nasty

My Aunt molested me from when I was eight to when I was fifteen.

>Woman penis, woman penis, where are you?

I promised to take my little sister to Captain Underpants but I took her to The Mummy instead.

If you are ever the victim of fratricide, you'll know it was because of your shit taste.

I wanna suck dick in spite of being more straight than gay, because interacting with girls freaks me out.

yea but was she hot tho

I used Steven Universe as a revision break aid before exams, and managed to get extremely high firsts in most, and a near first in something nearly everyone bombed in.
I'm afraid I'll have to support my elderly family members, while my siblings jump ship, due to the fact that I've lost several chances at gaining indepence and jumping ladders due to older siblings fucking up the family finances.
I have extremely vivid nightmares the night before dates, which is odd as I'm not that anxious, but it causes me to look like a bassett hound on said days.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2 was not to my taste; Griffin acted extremely out of character (there being no-one to molest if the squid people kill everyone) and Jekyll not getting a single word in the entire thing. Considering these were the only two characters that actually did anything apart from act as couriers or saving a single child...

Male companionship seems much more desirable than working up the nerve to talk to girls. I don't think I could ever suck a dick though.

I have a huge folder of batman, iron man, some of alan moore's popular stuff, and transmetropolitan comics, but I never get around to reading most of it, mainly due to my sometimes short attention span or I forget I have it.

me too, but like i said, they practically traumatized me when i was younger, and i didn't get over it until the cartoon came around and I grew to like that, and eventually got around to playing the games.

I'm a furry

I'm a huge vorefag

Most types of vore turn me on. Even the admittedly gross kinds

youtube.com/watch?v=yPclFQikaQY

I don't watch MLP anymore, I'm behind like 2 seasons, and yet I still fap to "clop" constantly, and often ERP lesbo mare sex with my best online friend.

Same here, nigga.

Me neither. Like. I have the ideal guy I want to date but the sucking of dick thing is a no go for me. But if he were to suck my dick, I wouldn't mind

>tfw i am no longer alone in that.
While the villains could have been better, it was a pretty cute and somewhat imaginative thing.

I love it when handsome men fart, I wish I could revive that dumb "I gotta fart real bad" meme, but for dudes only.

I used to watch horse cartoon.
And I still do from time to time.

Why don't you revive it with an animation, James?

>I make a living
How?

I only watch it to keep up with the fandom and because of completionism. Don't think I'll ever stop jacking off to maredick.

I don't like shitty cartoon women and Sonic characters farting

Is it worth it? In terms of work versus monetary gain?

yeah it really wasn't bad, to me at least, mostly I enjoyed how the powers and side effects were fleshed out

that just sounds like being gay with extra steps

Fatfag and aspiring gainer, but still trying to work the psyche up to actually become an official fatass/glutton. I also adore fat girls but hate the fact most of those hate fat guys.

I'm not a real doctor.

If you get into straight furry porn, you might eventually become gay enough to suck dick.

Happened to me although I think more than half of the process was due to clop.

Nobody cares. What we want to know is, are you a real pig?

I really enjoy the taste of envelopes.

you're also not Dr Pyg

life is pain.

No, I'm an animated Pig.
That is correct, I am not Dr. Pyg.

I fantasize about eating my female friends. When I'm hugging one of them I'll imagine being able to unhook my jaw and swallow them whole, like a snake.
I'm also a footfag. I have a female friend who likes having her feet pampered and I salivate just from the thought of giving her footrubs. She's let me do it a few times but I chicken out before I can do anything saucy.

Why am I cursed with the most autistic fetishes?

I really hate faggots.

I crossdress in my room at night when i know all my other roommates are asleep.

I also shove panties (some bought, some stolen from friends/family) in my ass

man the fetish confessions are the best

I've spent my life creating an environment conducive to raising a stable, happy family thinking love would eventually find me, but it never has, and as I live alone in my temple to an ideal I wonder if it's too late.

Man-Thing (normally) doesn't speak and isn't considered a superhero.

I used OP's computer to post on reddit!

if you care that much about it, you're bound to find it eventually.
cute dyna btw.

I masterbate to wordgirl

I put the screw in the tuna.

I love fighting games, even if I'm horrible at them.
I think the Rei vs Asuka bickering is pointless, because Kaworu is the best girl of all.
i have a fetish for older, handsome men in loving relationships with other men

about the last one
do you happen to ship stanchez

>accident that will wreck my face
I do hope you know that Doom's face got fixed at the end of Secret Wars 2015.

How much per vid? Where do you upload? Do you do whatever people want you to do or do you do whatever you want? Links to some of your vids for "research"?

I've actually hardly seen much of GF.

I know this is suppose to be joke thread for the autists on here to come and confess their fetishes, but I've got a serious one i'd like to get off my chest:
>Be me
>High School Senior
>Meet Freshman
>Get to know him over the year
>Confesses to me he's a furfag
>Don't give a shit bc he's cool dude
>Always had a weird feeling being around him
>Then it happens
>Later in the year he starts talking about the Columbine shooters
>Says they're his heroes
>ohshit.jpg
>I disregard it as nothing but "i'm a edgelord" talk
>Nothing ever becomes of it the rest of the year
>I graduate
>Time passes
>A few weeks ago (right before the end of the 2016-2017 school year), he gets arrested
>Makes local news
>Parents found homemade bombs and stolen guns in his room (wouldn't be surprised if you anons told him how to make the bombs, I saw him lurk here all the time on his phone)
>HolyShitHeWasGonnaDoIt.png
>Police say on news they had no idea what he was going to with the weapons
>Of course he's not going to tell the police he was gonna shoot up the school on the last day
>Shoulda reported him as soon as he said "Dylan and Eric are my inspiration" but I didn't
>Not gonna lie, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if his parents didn't find the weapons and he succeeded in killing innocent people.