Dear Journal

Dear Journal ...

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youtube.com/watch?v=Vqri4Lvf-4s
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OP was a faggot again.

I finally raped Patti today.

Skeeter honked my penis and I think I liked it.

I gave Patti a reason to have a stupid name as Mayonnaise

The ass was fat.

Today I learned to fuck an old man in the ass, his shit was so warm in my balls it was like buttfucking an angel

BLUEBERRY DICK

DOUG
FASTER

...I really want to fuck my sister.

NIGGERS STILL BEING NIGGERS

What's that Funny, you writing in your little faggy diary again? N'ha, HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHA

Red gold.

I had that dream again

He became a Joestar?

COCK-O-MATIC COCK PUMP 5000

Oh Dougy, I already told you not until you're 16.

But Judy, I really want to touch those...what are those things on your chest called again?

Was hoping this was the first reply.

I killed My Dad and Fuck My Mother

youtube.com/watch?v=Vqri4Lvf-4s

>that episode where Judy got THICC

>disney doug

Everyone seemed to get a little pudgier in the Disney show. Except for Connie, who noticeably lost weight and became hot.

Red gold

I don't know if it's me, Doug, anymore. As you no doubt remember from my previous entry Bluffington is no longer as I remember it. Everything outside is dark and I don't remember the last time I saw the sun. The silence in the house is oppressive. The air is heavy and collects in my lungs as moisture from a fog.
Every time I look up the bulbs appear to glow fainter and yellower. Three of them have burnt out in the lower floors. As you will remember, journal, Judy is locked in the basement. She was hammering on the door loudly and moaning in that once-human voice for hours, but now she has fallen silent. I dare not unlock the door. Once, and only once, I have tried listen at that portal; I heard a very faint but raspy breathing of a bloody throat and the touch of fingertips on the wooden door. Judy—or what was Judy—then slammed the door with what I presume were fists and released a cacophony of shrieking.
It took ten minutes for it to fall silent again and I cannot stand to provoke it again. Mom and Dad said they had to look for help and tried to make a run for it. I closed and bolted the door after them, as they had instructed, but still heard the screams—human and inhuman—from outside. I never heard the car's engine start. The cracking and slurping continued for an hour. I have tried to comfort myself with Porkchop's company, but eventually—for no reason I can decipher—he went mad, running in circles and foaming at the mouth, barking at every exit to the outside.
He continued his spiral into madness to where I felt the need to release him from this hell. I proceeded to loop my belt around his neck during the few moments he seems to sleep. It was a blessing to us both when he finally vomited up blood, whined once, and fell over dead. All the lights in the house suddenly went dead.

Excuse my poor penmanship, journal, for I am writing in total darkness. I can hear faint murmuring sounds outside. Picking up the phone I hear nothing, no dial tone, such as it was in my previous entry.
My eyes are adjusting to the dark. Looking out the window, I can see black-on-black shapes writhing, human bodies controlled by something else. Their movements are lithe and flexible, as if unused to their own forms but unconcerned by the pain of twisting joints or tearing flesh. On the neighboring lawn I can see the fat, bloated form of Bud Dink, arms twisting in bizarre directions in deference to some obscene being, or deity, or something else beyond my comprehension.
I fear I am the only one in the town not yet affected, or dead. I can hear sounds now, what would be speech, but only come as illegible tonguing to my still sane (?) ears, but I can recognize voices. The crass baying of Roger. The shrill piping of Beebe. The... high, perfect singer's tones of Patti. My dear, sweet Patti, into this thing of evil and horror. I can only pray that the real you, Patti, has left to somewhere unreachable by this insidious influence.
"Honk Honk," I hear, echoing through the streets and over carefully manicured lawns. So he still retains something of him. Perhaps it was because it was first, that it started with him. Friendly Skeeter. Poor Skeeter. Damned, too-smart Skeeter with his perfect IQ scores. Damn him and his sudden obsession with those runes. He was the only one that could have done it. If I had killed him that day as I knew in my heart of hearts I should have, this all could have been avoided.

My body trembles.
My mind quakes.
I hear a crash. The front doors, below me, are open. Suddenly sound fills the house. I hear what was Judy banging on the basement door again, screaming to be released even as her rescuers thunder up the stairs towards me. The revolver in my hand cannot stop them all, and I don't want to see what will come next anyway. I can feel what is coming will be worse than any hell that comes of death by one's own hand. You were the only friend able to comfort me in my last moments, journal.

Goodbye.

IVE GOT A BOOOOOOOONE TO PICK WITH YOU

I can't look at Doug anymore without thinking about how hilariously cucked the creator was in real life.

WELL IF IT ISN'T MY OLD PAL FUNNIE

kek that fucking video

...

Today I defeated Master Chief in single combat. Then, I got with Patti and gave her some of my own "mayonnaise."

Roger wanted to get rogered.

kek does anyone have the Sup Forums screengrab of the time Doug tried to shoot Roger?

Alright Sup Forums, where's my fucking grill?! I heard that limp-dick faggot Douglas Funnie had it last, and now I want it back. Don't fuck with me! I am this close to losing my shit right now!

i've been looking for this.
thank you.
i remember a long long time ago there used to be one with him by himself in a zombie infested mall going nuts.

...

...

what... what the fuck

The doug fandom is deeply disturbing, i'll even say it's more fucked up than the ponyfags

...

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I'll dump what I have

Well

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Should I post that fucked up Garfield one?

aw, fuck it

2/4

3/4

4/4

That was pretty tame desu

Idk, Doug related shit is always gross and fucked up. Keep in mind that even in that timeline he still likes ketchup with bananas.

What happened to him? This is complete news to me.

He met real life paty again a while ago.
Things go exactly as you would expect

tl;dr

>Creator based Doug on himself and Patti after a girl he was after
>Of course never got with her
>Met up with her online and arranged to meet her at his place
>She arrives, almost unchanged the last time he saw her back then
>She then introduces her husband
>Has to spend the evening hearing about how he lost Patti and now she's happily married

>no way fag

He did this AFTER creating the cartoon AND years and years after they were kids? What the ever loving fuck - why didn't he move on, and what did he expect when meeting her?

I thought your grill was broken, not missing

Yes.

Is he /ourguy/?
Jokes aside, you should google for the whole thing later, user.

Who made this?

Someone post the greentex

fuck considering he's from my hometown this really hits me

I'll do my best to find the relevant information for sure. But even as the kind of guy who posts on Sup Forums, and honest enough to admit I'm genuinely way more pitiful than most people here, this is just a new level of low I've never seen before and not even I could hope to achieve.

Like... he clearly made something out of himself to get a cartoon made, like making an entire goddamn cartoon whatever you think of the quality is really is an accomplishment when you think about it - and then he just goes and humiliates himself over something he's presumably had at least a decades to move on from.

I just don't get it. No sympathy at all, I just... don't understand his train of thought of what would happen.

...

Dont think too much about it, he made his choices and Im sure he will be ok by the end of the day, user. Maybe he was having a relapse or something.

Today I saw Rodger klotz fucking my sister and I watched.

>Thinking that Doug was ever good

that ass was fat

...

is that...dare I say... a Jojo reference?

>It’s my ten-year reunion, and I didn’t go. I was in New York working like crazy as a freelancer and just trying to make it there. And I got a phone call in New York and it’s Patti. The real Patti. And my heart’s beating fast. She’s like, ‘I was at the reunion! You weren’t!’ and I was like, ‘Yeah…sorry…I had to work.’ And she goes, ‘I found out you live in New York. Guess what—I do, too!’ And she told me where she lives. We lived across Central Park from each other. And she says, ‘Why don’t you come over for dinner?’

>So now we’re in a Doug show. I’m like, what do I wear? What will she look like!? All that’s happening as I’m walking across Central Park to her apartment, just wondering and just hoping, all those things. I was, at the time, very available.

>I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turn—it’s getting ready to happen—and she opens the door, and she’s perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and she’s so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and I’m just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes ‘Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs!’ [Laughs.] It sounds like I’m making this up, right? And I’m like, ‘Yeah… yeah, uh huh!’ ‘Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look!’ And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but it’s like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

>So this is all wonderful, right? And then she wheels and goes, ‘Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.’

>And I don’t even remember the rest of the evening.

These are the only two I saved but I know there are more. Anyone have them hiding somewhere?