So his hook is very obviously his dick, right?

So his hook is very obviously his dick, right?

...

Can your dick turn you into a bird voiced by Dwayne Johnson?

Pshh, you're welcome, kiddo...

Yours can't?

It's a baculum

>can't swing it like you used to, man

Eeyup.

We've already discussed this...thoroughly.

the guy who posted freud's picture is a genius

If you're a feminist with an agenda, everything is a penis. A giant, offensive penis.

Everything looks like a dick to you, hell I bet this post looks like a dick to you.

Stop sniffing cocaine and basing your theories on dick.

I imagine but I just saw it and Yeah.

>spends literally 1000y by himself on an island
>good looking female comes along
>he tries to dumps her

was he gay?

Stop being a dick.

Well, the Romans saw Swords as metaphors for dicks, Thor's hammer was a metaphor for his dick, and there are villages in china that literally worship wooden carvings of phalluses, so i wouldn't be surprised.

He was already married in actual lore by that time. In fact he should have been dead.

He spent 1000 years thinking about nothing but getting his hook back.

ah yeh he's an actual mythological figure right?
how was his portrayal received?

Poor, poor they got half truths out of the myth and the only thing done right was the musical numbers and Dwayne voicing him.

Believe it or not the movie was actually a whole lot worse in it early stages. I'm really happy with the way it came out.

>Believe it or not the movie was actually a whole lot worse in it early stages
I didn't really follow the development of this movie, how bad would it have been?

All this critics hating this litty disney movie

They went through some stages but one of the worst ones was Moana being a master way finder and her father basing a small dick patriarchy figure. She had brothers and they were setting up for some race. Needless to say the day picked his oldest son who was good but not as good as Moana. Also maui was a bit I think he was supposed to be like the red lion in zelda.

I thought he was using dance imagery, not dick.

I don't hate it, as a Disney movie it was fun and had a great musical number way better than frozen.
Son of a bitch
>basing
Meant based as a small dick patriarchy figure
>>the day
I meant her dad picked his oldest son.

okay that sounds positively horrible
while the movie we ended up with was already pretty cliché, at least overprotective dad is a better cliché than that

that said her being inexperienced could have been handled better, early on the movie relies way to much on the ocean ex machina and later on she becomes top class in a very short period of time

I agree with you but I very much liked the role the dad played he wasn't over protective as in she's my little girl I need to protect her. He was more like I know what you want to do and I'm here to tell you it's dangerous as fuck my friend died because of my fuck up.

I also agree with the movie being rushed as fuck. Remember that weird dance maui did when he fought the lava monster? Well there's an explanation to that, it was cut from the final movie.

So basically just like Hercules but worse?

Historically yes much worse. Faults aside I really liked Hercules mostly because hades.

that said, it may just be a small thing, but I really want to kiss the feller responsible for replacing the pig with the chicken

In the cut scene maui shows Moana strength and to not be fearful by doing a traditional dance used to ward off enemies. Maui does it during the fight with the lava monster after she breaks his hook.

I'm conflicted about Hades
on one hand, he's a fantastic villain, on the other hand, it's god damn shame they made Hades the villain, when his interactions with Heracles in the mythology are fairly limited and as far as greek gods go, incredibly reasonable

Disney seems to have a thing for turning rationally not-evil people into straight-up villains - John Ratcliffe for example.