The Great X-Men Storytime - Vol. 5: Fall of the Mutants (Part 10)

Summer crossover time! It's the Evolutionary War from the X-Teams' perspective, part one!

PREVIOUSLY ON X-MEN:

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I probably won't comment much because this event is just zzzzzzzz

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So when's Age of Apocalypse?

That guy likes killing underground monsters a biiiit too much.

1995, and we're in 1988, so... yeah. It's going to be a while.

>AAARRRGHH
Typical telepath.

So the next one is Mutant Massacre?

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We already did Mutant Massacre (it's the first X-over, natch), next one is Inferno.

So demon time with Scott's pissed off ex-wife.

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>You can't tell the males from the females
Which is why Fraction's transgender Moloid was so ridiculous.

Didn't Fraction do well while writing Iron Man?

Eeyup.

Well Scott sucks with women.
This is going to be a very nasty divorce/custody battle.

I dunno, I've never read an Iron Man book in my life. The transgender Moloid was from his FF, an otherwise pretty good book.
And really, it's nothing personal, I'm pretty much a stinking ess jay double-u, but when something doesn't work, it just doesn't.

Oh boy, Grotesk, now that's a fucking throwback and a half.

>We all look alike to him
How racist!

To be fair they kind of do.

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I dunno, doesn't that make more sense then?

>tfw you realise it look like 3 years for AoA to make it to your country

Well gee, I dunno Jean, maybe it's the one Moloid that's not wearing just a loincloth?

Oh yeah, Beast is dumb now, because ANGST!!

I just thought it was boring how Fraction defaulted them to a male/female society, even though there are no visible differences between a male and a female Moloid, so all you're left with is the almost parody-like image of a Moloid wearing a dress.

Like, I get it, it's inserting modern sensibilities to one of Marvel's oldest species, but couldn't it have been done a bit less... I dunno, hackneyed?

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I kinda like Apocalypse with a helmet.

Ah yes, remember the olden days when people would just. Not. Shut. Up during a fight?

I believe that's called banter.

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I mean, there's banter and there's having a long winded conversation about the possibilities and ramifications of evolution while punching each other in the vacuum of space... actually, that sounds kinda fun so nevermind.

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Honestly I just want slice of life stuff about random mutants.

OK, I getcha now. I found that image kinda funny-sappy, not necessarily bad, but I understand where you're coming from.

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I do feel like if you're gonna pick two villains who do that, Apocalypse and THE are up there.

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>Marvel didn't use this cover
wtf

Is that Apocalypse beating up the High Evolutionary?

I'm pretty sure you're the only one who cares about that little detail, John.

Yes, actually.

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Somebody get these kids an iPhone!

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>De-furred him
Jesus Hank, I knew you were into some kinky shit but there's some lines we just don't cross, man!

>Isn't he adorable?
Must... resist... gay... joke!

this art is rough
when does it become badass

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Next storytime, when Adams comes along

>And Scott and Jean are together... at last!
Don't remind me. Barf.

>much worse
Oh, you don't know the half of it!

Now, time for a big-ass info dump as I skip most of the annuals because they're just filler!

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Next up is a Punisher annual. Basically, Frank fought a giant robot or some shit and took down a drug cartel. That's about it.

sweet
annuals are fun though

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Yeah, but this is the Great X-Men Storytime, not the Great Let's Torture X-user By Making Him Storytime a Whole Bland Event Storytime ;^)

But on all seriousness, the only reason I'm not doing the whole thing is because
A) I want to get it over with quick so we can get back to our regular X-books
and B) because most of these parts are really unimportant, it's just a bunch of characters fighting a High Evolutionary henchman or something like that. The Avengers annuals are important though, so I'm not skipping those.

You wanna turn em into millenials?

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At least millennials don't run around your ship, blowing shit up and such. Sometimes, apathy has its advantages.

Now the Silver Surfer annual, where... I dunno, some shit with the Eternals and the Super-Skrull that goes nowhere.

They're doing exercise for fun, unlike millenials or weebs

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All I know is that I was asked to babysit my cousins once and thank Christ for smartphones because every time they weren't playing Clash of Clans or whatever, they were acting like crazed monkeys.

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Now back to a proper annual storytime with THESE assholes again!

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It's nice to see that you care.

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Young mutants playing in the Danger Room, Magneto throwing a fit, Bobby angst... just another day at Xavier's!

Oh yeah, and Amara having the worst taste in boys ever, natch.

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Geez, she's just a teenager, ya creep.

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