You, a concerned citizen, have grown increasingly alarmed over the sudden rise of a new wave of heroes.
You only have enough money to hire a low-profile assassin calling herself "Gwenpool."
These are the heroes she's willing to assassimate for you, who do you choose? Why?
Toss up between Chavez and Ironheart
Does it cost extra to ask her to kill herself?
>Gwendolyn Poole
>Capable of assassinating shit
I pick Ms. Marvel just because I want them to develop a rivalry honestly
Hulk, easily.
and I will get off on watching him destroy her
I'm only allowed to kill one yeah?
is this OC? I don't recognize any of these characters
I mean, Id have to go with someone she actually knows the civilian identity of, and could beat said identity.
So probably Whor.
Ree-Ree so that Bendis can leave the IM books.
That's not Ant-man, that's the new Giant man.
I pick him because Gwenpool could probably actually kill him
who the fuck is red locust?
the fuck is Red Locus?
Other than America I hope Morales Moon Girl Riri Chulk and Kamala after that she can kill herself
All of them, followed by herself
Didn't you read that Deadpool issue? With the exception of that Ant-Man and that Red Locust ALL those characters are more popular than Gwenpool so the only one who would end up getting killed is herself.
Moon-Girl. I've never heard of her but her haircut drew my eye.
Squirrel Girl
please
And no, fuck your off screen battle. Gwen will know better.
Realistically she'd only offer to kill Jean Grey, knowing that getting Jean Grey'd would make her a minority character and thus safe from death for the foreseeable future. She would then rat you out, making it a team-up issue, and escape with the money, ending the issue on a "girls night out" scene.
>no user option
Fuck, I'd really want to see that fight.
Fuck, user
kek
Spiderman because I want to make her kill her husbando
Ironheart. Everyone else has been written well by someone, somewhere. The real enemy is creators being too precious about their characters and never letting them go, or grow, or develop.
Except the self-insert of Bendis's step-daughter. He's going to shove her in our faces every step of the way and we can't stop it.
>Doesn't recognize Squirrel Girl
Oh, you sweet, innocent thing
This. Pretty much all these people are way out of her league except proabably Red Locust since she's even less well known and not even a legacy proper.
Even then I wouldn't be surprised if Champions outsells Gwenpool.
>tfw don't have the edit
America Chavez, not even a fucking doubt about it, god i hate her
You hate her current creative team. You've never heard of her before them.
Pic for context. Next time they cross paths I want Gwen to be like "I used to think you were cool! I used to relate to you! Now you're like Miss Caring and Sharing, it sucks!" or something.
According to last months comic sales, she's outselling Kate Bishop, Moon Girl, Squirrel Girl, and Wasp.
>go into your husbando's world
>meet him
>make him hate you forever because you wanted to kill a bad guy when you should know he's Batman tier no killing
lel, are isekai protagonists normally this stupid?
Wasp got cancelled so she can be crossed out for all I care
She thought she could become a recurring anti-heroine rival sorta like the Punisher to his Spidey, but with sexual tension.
Then he knocked her out with one punch.
That's 3 legacies and a chick who beat Doctor Doom and Galactus. And she loves legacy heroes because apparently she's Marvel's dream consumer.
I don't see it happening.
To be honest gwen was the only tolerable one that whole issue.
Mostly because she fucking right and that hydra is probably responsible for the racism as they always are.
If dubs she assassinates Drumpf.
lol nope fag
I thought it was hilarious she just wanted to be on the team and they were complete dicks to her right from the get-go. I mean she has a fucking poster of Kamala on her bedroom wall it's gotta sting when she talks to you like you're a retard.
>and I will get off on watching him destroy her
With his dick?
Whoever kills Captain Marvel is alright in my book.
Ah, I see you are a gentleman of taste, too.
>your husbando's world
I know that, as an in-comic comic-fan, Gwen has to like Marvel's current shlock, but her shit taste is really unendearing
Can someone give me atleast a brief summary of this character? I see pictures of her dressed as a fem Deadpool but every page Sup Forums posts from her comics is some slice of life shit.
>Gwenpool starts off as a joke variant cover relating to Spider-Gwen
>people like the character so she gets her own book
>she comes from our world to 616 wanting to be a hero
>antics ensue and it gets good for me personally at like issue 16
All the slice of life stuff is pretty much from one issue (the latest)
She is a girl from the real world named Gwendolyn Poole who ended up in the Marvel Universe and decided to make herself a costume and become a hero because that's the best way to not get killed as a background extra in the next Skrull Invasion or whatever bullshit. Being a hero turned out to be hard so she became an assassin for hire instead. But she still wants to hang out with her favorite characters.... but nobody likes her. Sad!
She has no powers to speak of, no talent at martial arts and is barely proficient with her guns. However as long as she remains a viable character she can exploit the rules of fiction to survive, as long as she doesn't wind up in a big crossover where minor characters like her always drop like flies.
Oh yeah and, the reason her costume looks like a knockoff of Deadpool's is because when she went to a tailor shop specializing in superhero outfits she gave her name as "Gwen Poole" and the tailor was like "ohhh I get it, you're a copycat of that one guy, okay" and just presented her with the costume later.
>the next Skrull Invasion
I honestly forgot they are a Marvel species
>Paying actual money for Gwen
Nah, see what I'd do is, I'd go around doing crimes and shit to try and grab the target's attention, and I'd hop the fence into the Latverian embassy right before they caught me. Then I'd shout some bullshit about how great Latveria is and declare my loyalty to Doom, and he'd feel honor bound to kill whoever picked me up for besmirching the honor of Doom.
Why is she spouting off mind control villains?
Spider-Nigger.
>Moon Girl
Would Gwenpool really be willing to kill a nine year old girl?
Even if she could morally bring herself to do it, that's just asking for a Franking.
If I'm hiring anyone to take these guys out, I'm hiring 'Cuda. That motherfucker can take ungodly amounts of punishment
She literally tried to shoot a 12 year old kid in front of Spiderman and was confused that Spiderman didn't like that and stopped her.
Because that issue of champions (really shit mind you)
The champions were on a venue to fight bigotry!
dealing with racism left and right and trying to get the political message out there!
Gwen was like wtf are you guys doing giving speeches n shit. theirs gotta be a bad guy behind this.
So gwen came off as unreasonable the entire issue cuz she knew their had to be a someone behind this racism. And the teams like NO YOU IDIOT.
Seems gwen does not understand modern marvel either.
The Champions were investigating hate crimes in a town and Gwenpool showed up trying to join them. The Champions were sure it was just racism and everyday corruption but Gwen kept saying it had to be a secret plot or supervillain scheme because that's how everything works in the Marvel Universe, right??? But the Champions were basically just huge condescending dicks to her because she tried to blow up some cops ONCE as if getting some action in the issue would be a bad thing.
Sounds fun.
She doesnt see the marvel characters as "real people". So, she is not killing a 9 year old. she is killing a character.
>Doesn't understand why Spiderman is against infanticide
Is Gwen REALLY a comics fan, or does she just buy the merchandise?
Still though, she views HERSELF as a real person.
The instant she goes through with killing a child, she loses the audience's sympathy. Especially a named character designed to appeal to children with her own book.
So, again, the instant THAT happens, she gets a huge fucking bullseye on her forehead for anyone of the kill-heroes in Marvel to karmically balance her out.
12 year old? It was a high school student who had just tried to murder all his classmates with a bomb. Gwen thought by killing him she'd get a lockdown on being Miles' vengeful anti-heroic rival like the Punisher or something.
And as Gwen pointed out, he was barely even a character--actually a forgotten subplot from Miles' pre-Secret Wars continuity. He wouldn't have even existed if some writer hadn't brought him back pretty much specifically for her to kill, was her reasoning.
so this...... is the power..... of the marvel roster..... ............
i gwen was confused because shes more enlightened as to how marvels world works. then she tried to enlighten miles and that did not work,
See, THAT'S different. The kid tried to kill a bunch of people. Moon Girl's done nothing but save people, I wouldn't be able to buy Gwen bumping her off.
>Is Gwen REALLY a comics fan, or does she just buy the merchandise?
Given she only recognized the Whore name from the mcu and knew pretty much only short paragraphs about Deadpool from wiki I would say her knowledge is more or less on same level as most normies.
>All these shit characters except Gwenpoole
>I am still reading Marvel
Fuck my life
Silk is/was ok, and I hope Viv will be able survive long enough to get to better team written book.
>Silk is/was ok,
I don't think you remember how she was introduced
She's the asian cutie with eidetic memory who was bitten by the same spider as Pete but has better powers for some reason and learned to fight from watching television while locked inside a bunker for 10 years (don't worry though, there no negative social ramifications to that beyond out-of-date pop culture references) because she's important on a multiversal scale. Oh, and Pete always wants to fuck her
Yeah I should have wrote her introduction + entire spiderverse series sucked ass BUT after she got her won series she wasn't even half bad, heck the writer was almost able to redeem Black Cat in that series (witch probably was stopped by editorial/Slott).
America Chavez for being a shoehorned stupid bitch
Iron heart for being a useless and stupid fucking Mary Sue
Moon girl for being such a stupid fucking character Mary Sue bitch
Sure. Or just his fists.
Oh Thompson had a promising start with her, I'll admit
Though I drifted off around the the... either hydra tentacle rape machine or underground goblin city and death of dragon-dude, I forget which one
i want an ok sign edit
>tfw I no longer recognize a single person in the Marvel roster
Miles Morales in a heart beat.
If I fell into the Marvel universe I'd go to Latveria and try to date Dr Doom :3
Got a needed, good chuckle out of me. Thank you Dr Sivanna.
I want her to assassinate my virginity with her phat ass.
I seriously don't get what kind of tasteless shithead would hate Cho Hulk. You'd think even Sup Forums would like him considering his series was half drawn by fucking Frank Cho, Sup Forums's sacred cow, but I guess that's me expecting Sup Forums to even make the tiniest effort to know what it is they're shitting on.
This will never not be the best gwenpool image.
Sooo you have no real reasons? Gotcha
Who is the beaner Ant-man?
>Not a single white male in that grid
I don't know if that makes OP Sup Forums or if it's a reflection of the sorry state of Marlel these days.
Here's a casual's guide to new marvel!
Captain Marvel is ms marvel but is now ugly because feminism is about being as ugly as possible. She's still the same cunt you love, tho.
That hulk used to be a support character for the real hulk. He used to be a cool guy, now he's hot or something.
Marvel Girl is JEEEEEEAAAAAN but with even more of a bitch.
Thor is the real Thor's love interest from years ago.
Squirrel girl is squirrel girl but butchered by the art to be uglier (again, modern feminism is about being as ugly as possible).
Hawkeye is Hawkeye's niece or something like that from the young avengers. He used to be okay. I miss No-Varr.
Ant Man is... Shit, Pedro from the taco restaurant?
Red Locust is marvel insulting hispanics and being massively racist while claiming representation.
Silk is Peter Parker's cock sleeve, specifically designed for his dick. Her super power is making Peter want to fuck her. He fucked her in front of Ana Marie.
Ms Marvel is a fake muslim who likes to tell you how much of a muslim she is! Did we mention she's muslim?
Viv is... a robot or an alien or something, but she's totally treated the same as minorities!
Ms. America is a racist caricature of hispanics who, unlike red locust, is not even hispanic.
Moon-Girl is a character who is called the smartest in all of marvel. She showcases how smart she is by saying great things like "I don't know how the government works" and "Why am I not allowed to age-limited stuff if i'm not of the age needed to participate?"
Iron Heart is some chick who found Tony Stark's brain and forced him to spill all of his iron man secrets. She keeps him as a slave.
Wasp is clearly Randy Stair's OC, he did it. He actually did it.
I have a bank account to burn
>Spider Man
>Ms. Marvel
>Iron Heart
>America
>Moon Girl
That's all I could afford assuming standard business rates
Fucking Spider-Man. Don't you guys read the paper? He's a total menace.
the comic mentions that gwen doesn't read deadpool because he's too "lol memes" for her tastes, so in that case it's not that she's unaware of him, she just chooses not to learn more.
Either America or Marvel Girl
>this whole post
DCfag here, how haven't you guys left the ship by now?
W-Why is Miles so cute here?
Try Gwenpool.
I really like Pak writing Cho, but all of his crossover appearances have sucked dick. Mostly because Champions was the worst thing to happen to every character it's touched. But the circle of four crossover also really dicked over the Ghost Rider ongoing. (That was as much Felipe Smith's fault as the editors)
What the fuck even are comics now? Comics used to be about unlikely heroes gaining powers to make the world a better place.
>Kal-El got his powers from Earth's yellow sun and used them for good to protect Metropolis
>Peter Parker was an awkward teen who was bitten by a spider and gained spider powers to stop evil scientists like Doc Ock and Green Goblin
Why is Spoderman a mopey black dude? Why is Thor, a real, established Norse god a woman? When did comics become >so fahanny random and metaphysical about themselves
Deapool was a joke about donut steel characters and plots but the punchline never came and he became permanent. Now we have intentionally bad Squirrel Girl and literally-7-layer-meta-irony in Gwen.
Good god!
...
>Comics used to be about unlikely heroes gaining powers to make the world a better place.
Sure buddy.
>Iron Heart is some chick who found Tony Stark's brain and forced him to spill all of his iron man secrets. She keeps him as a slave.
Actually a better concept than what is happening in the book, user.
i need her fatter
It's more or less what happened originally. What I read had her talking to Tony Stark as a hologram, who was teaching her about Stark Tech.
So why didn't she send the costume back or have it modified after she realized the person who made it for her thought she was copying him?
>Spider-Man against the shocker
The only thing she didn't like about the costume was the lack of pants, and the tailor was out of that particular shade of pink.
Tony actually sent her the AI of his brain to teach her how to Iron Man.
Thanks