Batman

>batman
>doesn't carry a bat around

Harley from Justice League Gods and Monsters is the only good version of Harley Quinn

>Does whatever a spider can

He does have a very special bat.

he IS the bat
Alternatively
The Bat is in his head.

Always annoyed me watching the cartoons. Why can't he make organic webs without the symbiote? It really fucks him over in a battle when he just suddenly runs out.

He does better.

Carrying only the finest paranoia, the most authoritarian of confidence and the finest and best equipped utility belt this side of Wreck It Ralph.

>aquaman
>doesn't carry aqua around

>scatman
>doesn't carry scat around

Organic laservision or contacts that he invents?

>Wonder Woman
>wonders never happens

>iron man
>doesn't carry an iron around

iron woman does

I find it wondrous that the IP wasn't buried when it came to light that Marston was inserting his fetishes into it.

Didn't WW go away for like 20 years?

I thought she just ended up basically like a secretary for the JL. Not shit posting. I did not read comics in the 60s or early 70s as I was not alive.

>martian manhunter
>doesn't hunt man

>gee, why can't cops just have unlimited ammo? It really fucks them over in a gunfight whenever they run out

Because their names aren't Gun-Man.

>Catman
>doesn't carry a cat around

>Nightwing
>doesn't have wings

no but they are gunmen

>Speedy
>doesn't have superspeed

And pray tell, how would his body produce such enormous amounts of web without eating burgers all day. And how would he propel it so fast and far? And why would the webspinners be conviniently located near his hands?

>iron man
>suit isn't made of iron

I've always wondered what Batman would first say to me after having him tied down as I shit all over his chest.

>antman
>doesn't carry ants around

But he does!
>Anthony lives in our hearts

>Sonic
>does not scream often

Well, he has these. Unless he stopped toting around batarangs while I wasn't looking.

You realise that It's not a real bats, right?

Maybe he is, but you just can't hear it

Bullshit.

Bats are not scary, they are just tiny mammals.

>The flash
>power isn't light based

>Joker
>not funny

Injustice 2.

>scatman
>doesn't shit everywhere

>Zoom
>can't zooming anything

>spiderman
>cannt control spider

But he cracking jokes. That count, right?

spiders can't control other spiders, you idiot

>sonic
>doesn't have sound powers

>Starscream

>Rarely screams
>Doesn't look like a star

>Thundercracker

>No thunder powers
>Not a biscuit or a white guy

>Skywarp

>Actually warps through the skies

He has speed of sound

...

>Bumblebee
>not insecticon

Of course they are. They're just well-trained.

i prefer organic webbing too, but you sound gay

i just like the idea of peter needing to eat so much to have a good set of webbing goint

>Sandman
>actual man of sand
>but not a sandnigger

>Thanos
>just some gem obsessed guy

>Starscream
>Rarely screams

nigger wut


>Thundercracker
>No thunder powers
sonic boom

...

>Radioactive Spider Man
>Doesn't shoot radioactive webs
except out of his dick

Cops don't need it, the solders do

>Dr. Bees
>Not even a licensed physician

He does carry a bat...

in his pants...

Except himself

That is an incredibly poor place to keep any variety of sports equipment

How does wolverine produce enough protein and nutrients to regenerate?

It's fiction. Don't have to explain shit.

Are explosive batarangs called batbangarangs?

>Steven Universe
>Doesn't have the power of the whole universe
>Doesn't have the power to summon Steven Seagel

>Batman
>not an enlisted soldier assigned as a personal servant to a commissioned officer

>Brown Widow
>is a white never married male

>Billy Batson
>Not Batman's son