Storytime of Pain: Marville

The SDCC doors have officially opened, and you know what that means. That's right folks, the 2017 STORYTIME WEEKEND OF PAIN has begun! Strap in folks for 4 days of the worst, most heinous comics to ever be published. These aren't just bad comics, these are the worst of the worst.

To kick things off, we start with a classic. One of the Unholy Trinity that gave birth to the concept of SoPs. This is the Storytime Weekend of Pain. This is MARVILLE.

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I've never read this but I've heard about it.

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I can feel my sanity eroding already.

Oh boy, you are in for a RIDE.

If Axel Alonso wrote his own religious manifesto and turned it into a Marvel comic, would it be as funny as Marville?

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Why user, why do you always have to make us suffer.

No way. Jemas is a special kind of crazy to allow this to happen. Alonso would just be a bunch of cameos by Atlanta rappers he likes with a handful of standard liberal talking points.

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Yeah i'm hating it so far

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OP, what's the best part about Marville? The references to Spike Lee and Ted Turner that were already outdated at the time? The pinup covers that were intended to be sexy but just look uncanny valley? The inexplicable dive into religious theory? Or Wolverine being part of the missing link between animals and man?

I'm so confused and scared what the hell is happening

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The letterer giving up halfway through the comic is my favorite.

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user, you haven't seen nothing yet, oh lordy you haven't SEEN nothing yet.

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What the fuck is this...

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It's already that period of the year again? Neat.
Keep going, OP. You are doing Satan's work

>The wasted Greg Horn's talent on this drivel
I hope he at least got paid handsomely.

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So, is there any real reason Jemas tried to force in philosophy in issues 3 - 5?

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This was part of a bet between Jemas and PAD. Jemas bet PAD that he could shit out a comic by just stream of conscious writing in one sitting that'd sell better than PAD's Captain Marvel run. Marville was the result.

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I think these pages were meant to be together.

Is the pain thing biannually then??the Girls storytime took place a few months ago

Alright, now here's the issue where the letterer and inker gave up.

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Ah, yeah. A handful of the double-page spreads are broken up unfortunately. I thought I had already edited them all together from when I storytimed this last year but it looks like I accidentally deleted the folder that had the edited versions but kept the unedited versions.

Sorry bout that, folks.

Well, yeah, but that doesn't really explain the "let's figure why crime is a thing by meeting God" "arc" that started here: .

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the most confusing part of this are the notes.
did they think it was funny or were they seriously under the impression that clueless normies would read this one day?

You can do a storytime of pain anytime you want. The Storytime Weekend of Pain happens during SDCC and all of Sup Forums's storytimers get together to do nothing but SoPs.

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The pinup covers are insulting. Like they had zero faith in this, so they slapped them on to promote sales.

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Every year, I forget just how awful this series is.

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By the way, what else is part of this marathon?
Is it other stuff Linkara talked about?

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oh neat, thats where that panel is from.

>tfw Bill Jemas legit believes that Wolverine was an otter and the progenitor of humanity, and that talking Jewish dinosaurs existed in the Jurassic period
This is a special person.

Also, why is Spike Lee the Kingpin? No, seriously, I never got that. What is the fucking joke there?

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HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I've never watched/read/listened to (I'm honestly not sure what he does other than constantly seeing people bring up his name and a single picture of him in a fedora holding a gun) any of his stuff, so I'm not sure. But to answer your question, while I can't speak for what the other storytimers have planned, I'd be in Trouble if I spoiled what's in store.

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Why does "God" have no lines at this point but is appearing everywhere in the art?

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>Heavy-shaking-head-no.gif

I think at that point, he remembered this was supposed to be a parody comic.

I see.
He's a comic critic for TGWTG, btw. He did all of Marville.

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>Trouble
Y'know, for as dumb as Marville is, it's at least unintentionally funny. Trouble is just shit, and makes me legitimately angry.

If this was written even remotely competently then I'd say the writer is trying to make a point about the fact that while God may not speak directly to us, he is always with us and guiding us. But since this is Marville, I'm honestly not sure.

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