Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

What happened, Sup Forums?
I thought Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets was suppose to save comic book movies? I thought it was suppose to beat retarded capeshit like Spider-Man Homecoming or Wonder Woman?!!! What happened? Do people/casuals/normies just not care about original ideas anymore? Is this the end of creativity?........

who made you think that? also:

>Valerian
>original idea
lol

It was based on a comic book?

People just don't get Kino.

When did we EVER say that?

Hell, I had really low expectations for it considering I don't like Luc Besson's movies at all. I wound up being entertained, even if the movie's not that great as a whole.

Original idea doesn't mean it can't be based off a graphic novel, you plebs

The writing was bad; almost all the dialogue was terrible, and their was both unnecessary and missing exposition. Plus, the Dane Dehaan's acting was mostly awful. I was willing to give a pass to Cara Delevingne's no nonsense performance, but it felt pretty flat after two hours.

That said, the heist scene in the transdimensional bazaar was a great idea.

Dane Dehaan can't act and kept doing a Keanu impression throughout the movie. He's also ugly.
Cara Delevingne can't act and isn't pretty.

The CGI looked like something from a Mass Effect game (as did the costumes and designs).

The story was all over the place and the CGI action dull.

It was S-H-I-T

Of course that's what it means.

>implying
Original idea=/= New IP

Valerian tried to things never done before and was punished for not being brainless drool like Spider-Man Homecoming or Wonder Woman.

Now Valerian may not get a sequel. Meanwhile Thor 3 and JL will make get made and make people dumber...

>Valerian tried to things never done before
Such as?

It's okay, the bandes dessinees cinematic universe got a rocky start, but Achille Talon and Spirou: Origins are going to be pure kino.

Well, I thought it was going to be mediocre considering Besson hasn't made a good movie in nearly 20 years, turns out I was right.

The interesting characters, the flawless acting, the realistic romance, the outstanding visuals, the breathtaking score, the original story, the outstanding action. I could go on and on.

Have you not seen the kino Lucy?

Proof that Indieshit and Eurotrash is garbage

Lucy was shit. Also
>kino
Your opinion means nothing to me now.

Too bad the cast and script were such fucking garbage.

No wonder he had to go to China for funding, anyone else would call this flop a mile away.

It's been a while since I completely regretted paying money to see a movie.

this was always going to be a cult classic. Do you think Fifth Element was anything other than a cult classic? It bombed as well

I want to fuck a K-Tron.

>I'm a soldier. I play by the rules.
Did nobody think to question this completely retarded, out-of-nowhere line?

Lucy was one of the best movies of the decade.
Also
>being too dumb to know what Kino means

>I thought Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets was suppose to save comic book movies? I thought it was suppose to beat retarded capeshit like Spider-Man Homecoming or Wonder Woman?!!! What happened?

Nobody ever said that apart from faggots false flagging on Sup Forums to feed the "Sup Forums is always wrong" meme

Fifth Element didn't bomb.

You may have just understandably assumed that, but it did fine.

It wasn't "retarded" or "out-of-nowhere" you're just too stupid to understand it.

>the American Military Industrial Complex was the real villain the whole time

No thank you.

Basically nothing that was in the film save for the visuals?

The movie was just your standard case of "foreign studio apes Hollywood, pegs the worst aspects of it" and it really did the property injustice.

Ah, you're trolling.

The setting was neat. It felt like I was watching The Fifth Element again. Everything else was bad.

The interesting characters, the flawless acting, the realistic romance, the outstanding visuals, the breathtaking score, the original story, the outstanding action.
It had literally none of these.
And even if it did, superlative != original.

>interesting characters
>flawless acting
>realistic romance
>outstanding visuals
>breathtaking score
>outstanding action.
>all these things have never been done before
I can't imagine the level of shit you consume regularly to think all this had never been done before

Never stood a chance

>Not Disney
>Not Nostalgic
>Not capeshit

It was from the French comic, man. Take 30 seconds from being afraid of liberals and realize the themes predate modern ideas.

Yeah, sure. It was probably one of the dumbest films I've seen.
>>being too dumb to know what Kino means
I know what it means, just if someone who says it unironically, I can't really trust their opinion.

Everyone said it. Literally everyone on Sup Forums thought Valerian would be the chosen one to be shitty dumb films like Wonder Woman and Spider-Man Homecuming. It was suppose to bring in a new age of original movie and kill the Capeshit beast. And yet the public and critics let it die. They caused this movie to bomb. They failed art.

So was "Blue is the Warmest Color".

>Literally everyone on Sup Forums thought Valerian would be the chosen one to be shitty dumb films like Wonder Woman and Spider-Man Homecuming.
>[citation fucking needed]
I don't remember any of this.

Something that frustrated me was how Valerian was never in any physical danger.

No matter what was trying to kill him, he was extremely aware that he was going to be fine.

Armed guards? No problem.
Huge monster? I'll casually let a bunch of guys (who might also work for the government?) die as I escape in my magical space ship.
Dozens of pissed aliens? Slice through them like butter.
Squad of murder robots? One-shot them all without getting a scratch.

>No Apes

Hold up, this is a common Snyderfag tactic. He never suggested the line was confusing or hard to understand, yet your only defense of it is "you don't get it".

>Not good

So I liked it, but I have to admit I only liked it because it hits my sweet spot for Space Sci-fi and also I lust for both leads

Its plot was all over the place, making a lot of elements seem contrived. The MCs randomly kill people. Somehow someone able to fight her way out of a guard mission get captured and kept in a wimpy wooden cage.

It has aesthetic going for it, but not writing. And while I like Dane's acting, its easy to see how people would view it as wooden.

I was so fucking angry the entire film and I couldnt stop laughing.

It was so bad I couldn't stop discussing it for like a whole day.

So it's Lucy: in Space?

Wouldn't know, I never saw Lucy.

The moronic premise kept me away.

It's not my fault you are too stupid to get the line.

I understood it. Just like I understood Eraserhead when I was six-years old. Tell me, are you dumber than a six-year-old?

I liked the part where the Mary Sue alien savages managed to survive a planet exploding and reverse engineer a human star ship.

More than anything else Dunkirk happened

theaters added extra showings of Dunkirk at the expense of Valerian showings

>Mary Sue
Go away, Sup Forums

All without starving.
And how one of the magical pooping aliens also somehow survived, but not with them.
OR
How the magical pooping aliens were not exclusive to that one planet somehow, but coincidentally there's only one left.
And how they killed a TON of people by launch their ship with a planet in it (?) right through the densely populated station.
And how did John Goodmalien know what that fucking pearl was?

Isn't that what swords are made of in Game of Thrones?

So was Snowpiercer.

>based on a comic book that everyone's read
>original idea

>dude, people use 10% of their brains, lmao

so was The Crow, not that you'd know if from all the changes they made

It was a shit movie, that's what happened. It had the potential to be great and maybe do all of those things, but Besson blew it. Oh boy did he blow it.

It's a shame because Valerian and Laureline deserved better.

See

it's also a herb that sends you to sleep

Doesn't this rating mean it's a toss up movie? Might like it? Might not? That doesn't sound that bad.

I tend not to trust rottentomatoes. Critics there just follow the trends that Hollywood marks for them.

Well, fuck. Only blockbuster I was hyped for this year and turns out to be shit. Damn you, Besson.

>Published in 1967
>Eisenhower made his Military Industrial Complex speech in 1961

It might be ok if you go see it just for the crazy action set pieces and cg visuals and don't care about story

It should have a higher score than Spider-Man Homevoming, Wonder Woman, and Captain Underpants. It deserves it for trying to bring some culture to cinema.

>First I heard of this IP and movie was on an Sup Forums thread last week
>Saw a billboard for it when I went to see Dunkirk yesterday
>Now I'm hearing it's Sup Forums related though I've never seen it mentioned on Sup Forums before
I feel like an old man learning about Lady Gaga for the first time.
So what's the deal with all this? From the billboard I saw it kind of looks like Jupiter Ascending.

Of course you don't remember. It's a complete fucking lie

it's not high culture just because it's French, user; all movies are culture, even if it's not one you enjoy

UW1 would make a great, if slow and cerebral, sci-fi movie, but I'm not going to claim it's high art, it's just a beautifully-detailed, considered sci-fi story in the vein of the harder-sci tastes of the past

it's not better or worse at that because it's French, and neither is Valerian a better Star Wars because someone with a higher chance of finding baguettes and table wine in their kitchen wrote it

What is there to "get" about the line that everyone else is missing? Go ahead and tell us kid.

More like 95% of Sup Forums are young and don't know about The Rolling Stones. This was a comic that actually influenced George Lucas while making Star Wars.

Valerian and Laureline isn't obscure in Europe in any shape or form, it's only a notch less popular than something like Asterix or Lucky Luke but I guess Sup Forums is not that much into eurocomics that were the most hip in the 80's and earlier.

The Crow is the best comic book movie ever made. Still to this point nothing has beaten it

Kek, why would you watch Eraserhead at six years old? In fact, I'm intrigued at how you CAN understand Eraserhead at six years old?

If I tried to explain it to you, it would just go in one ear and out the other.

Just go back to watching low-brow drivel like Guardians of the Galaxy.

>I'm intrigued at how you CAN understand Eraserhead at six years old?
Then you are literally dumber than a six-year-old. Any six-year-old that isn't retarded or raised by retards could understand it.

Well, explain it anyway, I'm a different user and I'd like to hear.

Okay then, you still haven't told me how you were able to understand it at six years old though.

>I-I'd try to explain but there's no point!
kek, just like the Snyderfags.
He literally can't explain anything, he's backed into a corner and all he can do is lob petty insults like a 6 year old, ironically enough.

Yeah but only because he said it right after knocking out his own commanding officer by fucking punching him in the face.

But honestly it was Laureline's tirade about "love" that was the cringeworthy bit.

>we'll never get a good space opera where humans aren't the center of everything

it was never popular. the story was never finished as whole until 90'ns. also in time when it came out there were more epic shit going around in Europe.

the biggest enemy of francophile comics is that they need decades to finish stories and people just foget what it is about with a time. the only shit with scifi i remember is langfuest and trolls of troy. which is thanks to the autor puting his time hard into the development american or asian way.

That's because The Fifth Element was Luc Besson's Valerian fanfiction.

This is his passion project from when he was a teenager, when does that ever turn out well?

How did that StarShip survive the planet's explosion?

I love passion projects, they rarely work out as great stories but they are always interesting and usually worth seeing. When I watch a passion project I don't approach it as a blockbuster, I go in and look at the small details. Which is what I will do with this movie, I haven't seen it or spider-man yet but this is the movie I would rather give money too

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH

The biggest negative for me is that the script clearly expected Valerian and Lauraline to have MulderXScully levels of sexual tension and the the actors just didn't have that kind of chemistry. I mean, they did an OK job acting but for the plot to work the movie has to sell the audience that these two people can't keep their fucking hands off each other and that spark was missing.

But oh my god the visuals were amazing. The aliens, the costumes, the different weird biospheres. It was like watching the Mos Eisley cantina scene for two hours straight and I do not regret buying a ticket. Though I'm not surprised it bombed either.

>it kind of looks like Jupiter Ascending.
That's a pretty fair assessment actually.

I can't believe anyone was excited r thought it'd be good, it looked fucking awful from the very first trailer

I knew when I first saw the trailer. It looked like the CGIfest that got the SW prequels so much hate.

It looked fine.

It looked like every other generic sci fi film mixed with every generic YA film

For a movie about two lovers, they felt more like siblings/cousins.

When did you notice that it was bad?

The "Street Fighter" movie may as well have been based on a comic book.

Actually, did the Street Fighter movie ever get a comic book adaptation?

This is pure bait.

When the blue alien prostitute died. Why kill off the best character? So lame.

cause every sci fi film was based on it or other euro sci fi comics.

...

Because their CO committed treason. But they had been ordered by the Minister to get the Converter.

Rihanna was the worst actress in this. At least Cara tried to roll with the camp.

when the "comedic" moment of valerian dropping into the home of the cute alien babby and his alien mommy

nothing wrong with the shinguz, just not sure why they randomly weren't called shinguz but some other made up name

There are lots of movies based on one-shots, limited series or creator-owned content but nobody notices because even for comic fans: comics=super heroes.

> That's a pretty fair assessment actually.

I refuse to believe this movie is that bad.

It's somewhere in between Fifth Element and the most recent Journey to the Center of the Earth movie.

Unlike Jupiter Ascending it doesn't pretend to be very depth filled or have importance. Everyone in it knows it's style over substance.

She was terrible user.