Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it’s because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it’s your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. You enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hands. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it’s not an adventure. There is no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people… well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.
Rick...
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You know. The pain. Of you. Day in, day out, being there. With that face. Not knowing what to say. Not caring anymore. Not even knowing that you'll probably only care about her when it's finally too late. Forgetting about all those desperate- those desperate years you spent alone, your barren years when no woman would even consider resting her tired head on your shaky little shoulder. Stinking of belly semen. Why even wipe? And when you finally get one of these coveted pieces of tail that have been built up as the grand trophy in your nothing life, you try desperately to keep it. Not to protect it! But to hoard it. To keep it away from the other wolves and jackals circling your territory! And you realize, all too soon, that you're not good enough! That maybe there was a jerk-off called Darwin after all. And that you never acknowledged his existence because you knew deep inside that you were really what you feared you were-- weak. And passive. And ultimately, broken by the ones who were made the fittest. And that through your weaknesses, you built up a poison that poisoned others around you. That you love. And the only true justice was to let those dominant jackals feed on you. Survive off you.
I'll let you in on a little secret, Detweiler. Every adult you've ever known was a kid at sometime in his life. You think we don't remember summer vacation? Riding our bikes down the creek? Catching polliwogs in a jar? Camping out under the stars? I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong! Some days, I sit there in my office, looking out at you kids in the playground and I think, "They don't know how good they got it. In a few years, they're all going to be grown-ups like me and all those good times will be memories for them, too". So go ahead. Put a whoopie-cushion in my chair. Cover my carpet with fake vomit. Make fun of my "fat, saggy butt". But don't you Ever say I don't care about summer vacation, because those memories are the last part of childhood I've got left.
Is Clay just what Jerry would have become without Rick to keep him spineless and weak?
Alright. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say "Ooh, I'll get you later", but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much. He's you! God, you're pretentious. And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite". And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should "legalize pot, man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because "religion is for idiots". Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that—all of it—if you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore!
>I choose you to suck my DIIIIIIICK
>WONKA BONKA GOBSTOPPERS
You know, i liked doctor Wong. She struck a good balance between the insufferably inoffensive therapist, and someone laying down some straight truth.
NOBODY FUCKING CARES ABOUT R&M STOP SHITTING UP THE BOARD WITH YOUR Sup Forums RETARDATION REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
He has no style, he has no grace.
This Kong has a funny face.
He can handstand when he needs to,
And stretch his arms out, just for you.
Inflate himself just like a balloon.
This crazy Kong just digs this tune!
Uh, no Rick chose to go there because he needed the serum to return to human you fucking quack
No. Jerry remained a pretty optimistic guy and Beth isn't nearly as bad as Bloberta.
HE HAS NO JOB HE HAS NO FRIENDS THERES SOME R&M POSTS THAT HE DOESNT CLEANSE HE CAN COOK HOTPOCKETS WHEN HE NEEDS TO AT 300LBS HES A BIG GUY FOR YOU RECIEVES NO PAY HE DOES IT FOR FREE TAKES IT VERY SERIOUSLY ANYWAYS UHH
get ya boy a MEGA
Clay is what Jerry would be if he was successful, had an important job, and was the sole breadwinner
Clay wouldn't take Rick's shit, IF he let Rick stick around he'd probably shut himself in his study and try to avoid contact with Rick. At some point there would be so much friction that Rick might kill him.
Now Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap! Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!? Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh, your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have gooooooooood intentions! Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaan! Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years: "Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?" Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED! What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law! The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars!! Oh, yeah. The clown, the only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh! And as for you, I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk! You ugly, hate-filled man! .....Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
He could have just said "mhm, yeah, sure, I don't give a shit, gimme the syringe." and instead he chose to validate her by going on a tirade.
>"They don't know how good they got it. In a few years, they're all going to be grown-ups like me and all those good times will be memories for them, too"
Tfw 28 and it's 100% true
>no rough sex
>Alright. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know.
Oh go fuck yourself you degenerate. NOW you act high and mighty? NOW?
>You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him?
Valid point but to be fair Peter completely disregards Lois and doesn't treat her like she deserves. Doesn't make it ok. Only valid point.
>And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say "Ooh, I'll get you later", but later never comes.
HE'S A DOG YOU FUCKWIT. This is what dogs do. You keep them around and feed them and clean up their shit.
>And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much. He's you!
Yeah, well, everybody's got their methods you fucking degenerate that fucks dead bodies and comes onto underage girls. To-may-to and tom-ah-to
>God, you're pretentious. And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite".
At least Brian had a New York Times Bestseller. What do YOU have, Quagmire, besides every fucking STD known to man?
CONT...
How did she know it was rat's blood?
this is getting interesting
I just turned 30 and I still do those things. You don't have to turn old if you don't want to.
...
You can still ride your bike and go camping as an adult
I'd gladly wipe her ass
>And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should "legalize pot, man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle!
Hovering what little charity you do over the heads of others to feel high and mighty makes you the biggest piece of shit ever, Quagmire
>And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because "religion is for idiots". Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?
WHO ARE YOU?
>You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see?
Everybody makes mistakes
>But you know what? I could forgive all of that—all of it—if you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore!
Valid point because dogs are supposed to be fun, but no reason to be a dick to him when he's reaching out to you Quagmire
Basically quagmire is criticizing Brian for being a fucking animal. Dogs are lustful creatures who just want to hump and shit and eat. Yes Brian is smarter than the average dog but he's still just a dog, like you saw when Carter introduced him to SeaBreeze
Tell that to the law. Law says I'm plenty old.
You can also play video games and have sleepovers, but it was much more fun as a kid because you had simple concerns, simple interests, and getting together with friends was as easy as "Can ___ come over after school?".
Every single one of my friends has a different schedule that I've gone months without talking to one at any given time.
You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy. Well, I know you better than anyone, and I can tell you that you're not. In fact, you'd probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you're a selfish goddamn coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn't give a shit about who he hurts. That's you. That's BoJack Horseman.
Those incantations can't hurt me. I have some incantations of my own. How about: a body motions tends to stay in motion. Protons have one thousand eight hundred and thirty two times the mass of electrons. All light is bent or refracted as it goes from one medium to another, save in a direction perpendicular to the interface between the two mediums. New species may result upon the selective actions of external conditions upon the variations from their specific type which individuals present. Gravity varies as to the inverse square of distance. The velocity of light is equal to the wavelength times the frequency of vibration. The geometrical properties of the space time continuum are determined by the masses present in space and time.
Come algebra, anatomy, astronomy, biology, chemistry, geology, geometry, mathematics, meteorology, minerology, oceanography, paleontology, physics, psychology, sociology, --
*villain screams*
---trigonometry and zoology.
If Brian wants to get faggoty about being treated like an animal instead of a human (as he has on numerous occasions), and would prefer to be treated as a human, he's gotta take the good with the bad.
You don't get halfsies, faggot.
>instead he chose to validate her by going on a tirade.
That's not because he wanted to play along but because he thinks that psychology is a pseudo-science that he hates and wanted to let her know
For as smart as he is sometimes Rick can't just leave well enough alone and doesn't pick his battles like he should. Doesn't mean he was interested in a convesation
Mods delete pickle posts
No, no! Bojack, just... stop. You are all the things that are wrong with you! It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid, it's you! Alright? It's you.
Fuck, man. What else is there to say?
Now more than ever all these criticisms are entirely correct
Lisa has become the voice of liberalism
Homer has gone from lovable loser to a boisterous gigantic asshole
>getting treated like a human is the same as taking abuse
>abuse of humans is better than animal abuse
abuse is abuse. quagmire is way more abusive than brian could ever be
...
>legalize pot
no shit. it's literally fucking medicine
>a walking rape joke tells other people they're boring
got it.
Quagmire doesn't pretend to be some big damn hero, though. He's perfectly aware he's a piece of shit.
>constantly hit on your best friend's wife
lol quagmire is in love with Lois. if he was in the same house like Brian is, he'd probably rape her
And yet he hates everything Brian does like he's that much better
He didn't have to rip into Brian like that, specially after Brian bought him a steak dinner. A simple "i just don't like you" would suffice
>he'd probably rape her
Nope. He wouldn't even let the maitre'd give her a Roofie colada, remember?
Where'd the fucking Brian Defense Force come from, recently?
and brian was trying to be his friend, despite that. quagmire threw it in his face
>trying to be his friend
Odd way to spell "virtue-signalling".
What's the matter, Batman? No witty comeback? No threat? Then I'll provide the narration... [the screen flickers to life, showing "Our Family Memories"] I'll begin with how I peeled back the layers of the boy's mind. [In the edited version, he says, "I'll begin with how I affected young Robin's makeover."] Oh, he bravely tried to fight it at first. You would've been proud to see him so strong - but all too soon, the serums and the shocks took their toll... and the dear lad began to share such secrets with me. [In the edited cut, "the serums and the shocks took their toll... and" was cut] Secrets that are mine alone to know... Bruce. It's true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it's sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarang, you're just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic. [pause] Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA HAA!
Not him, but Quagmire really has no place criticizing anyone, especially an anthropomorphic dog.
To be honest everything about modern Quagmire's character is complete tripe, not just including muh Brian
Fucking asexual mooch, taking the high ground once again
what the fuck? how is seeking new relationships virtue signalling?
And you could have chosen not to roleplay.
Well Im spending 300 dollarydoos an hour anyway
>tries to climb out of his hole
>bojack sabotages him
yeah that was when he decided to bitch at bojack after having consensual sex, because the writers of the show wanted to slut shame a male character
Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe, because I'm the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people would do to hedge their bets. Now, I haven't been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn't make it work and I could turn a black hole into a sun, so... at a certain point, you gotta ask yourself—what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves because we're afraid to die alone? Because, y'know, that's exactly how we all die—alone.
Posting a quote from something is not roleplaying, you dumb nigger.
Quagmire is a piece of shit who knows he's a piece of shit. Pretty much all his friends know he's a piece of shit.
Brian is a piece of shit who acts holier-than-thou at the drop of a hat.
I choose to put on my robe and wizard hat.
when. when does he act holier than thou? cuz that's exactly what quagmire did to brian.
you're projecting
Rick is the biggest coward in the multiverse. Jerry may be a pathetic, spineless human being, but at least he admits what he is. Rick is all about escapism; the booze, the drugs, the portal gun, all of it is an escape from real issues regarding his family and himself. Something goes to shit? Portal into another parallel dimension where its okay. Perhaps the nicest and cruelest thing he did was abandon Beth at a young age, because she became a shithead just like him in a desperate attempt to be like him, hoping to gain his approval. Rick is a man who keeps on running not to live, but to not look back
Yeah, that's the rough part. Feeling like everyone you knew has just, moved on.
>being nice is something stupid people would do to hedge their bets
well, maybe right wing libertarians should read "Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution"
I think that was far from the worst thing that Bojack did, but the fact that he didn't care at all what was potentially going on between her and Todd was still kind of a dick move.
They have. Being nice is something that stupid people DO do to hedge their bets. That's why we, as a species, haven't lost the great poker game called "life" yet.
A world of only Ricks probably wouldn't have made it past the Paleolithic Era.
I'm disappointed that there isn't more art of her.
Fuck this show man honestly.....like fuck.
>Riding our bikes down the creek? Catching polliwogs in a jar? Camping out under the stars?
i never did any of this
I have bad news then, user
Your childhood sucked
I did all 3 when I was a child
That really hit me as a kid for some reason.
>Beth isn't nearly as bad as Bloberta.
The recent episodes are making her verg on it
To be fair, a world of ricks would also have made it to space before the paleolithic Era. Of course, only the last one standing would make it, but still.
Fucking Moral Orel, that show had no right to be as good as it was.
>Your childhood sucked
you mean my whole life
im going to eat a lot now and then sleep for a couple of weeks
>reading this in Cat's voice.
He's covered in rat parts so it would appear the blood is rat blood. In actuality, I think some of it came from the people he killed.
>I must admit, it's sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarang, you're just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic. [pause] Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA HAA!
This is the most perfect Joker quote I've ever heard and exactly what I would have expected the Joker to say when he finally found out who Batman was.
You gotta understand, the Joker doesn't see Batman like we do.
We are given the luxury of seeing Batman when he's off the streets; we see him take off his mask and even see some of his day-to-day life as Bruce Wayne.
The Joker, and all of Gotham's criminals, see some... THING that appears out of nowhere while they're going about their criminal activities... in fact they're not even sure it's a human since they usually don't get a good look at it, for all they know it could be some disfigured monster or an android. Sometimes they see it driving around in a car but sometimes he just drops out of the fucking skylight like some fucking demon that flies around looking for criminals to drag back to hell. He appears out of fucking nowhere, kicks their asses, ties them up, and leaves them to the authorities... and that's all they know about him.
Finally finding out not only that he's completely human but that he's a spoiled millionaire brat was probably funnier than any joke the Joker could have ever imagined
That's almost literally the point of the speech. Brian was never particularly friends with any of the people in Peter's social circle. They could have used Joe instead, or Cleveland if he was still around at that point. Almost any of them.
The reason they used Quagmire, and the reason it was as effective and memorable a moment as it was, is that Quagmire is a pretty shitty person in his own right, and yet Brian still has no argument. Sure he could throw what Quagmire said back in his face, but all that would be doing is putting Brian on Quagmire's level. It wouldn't be refuting what he said. If you say 'yeah, well you're a shitty person too', you're still admitting you're a shitty person. There was nowhere else for Brian to go, after hearing that. No way to rise above it.
It's what made it a realization for Brian, rather than an insult.
Been thinking of checking it out. I've been seeing a lot of comments recently saying it was surprisingly good.
But all I remember on it were the adult swim commercials making masturbation jokes.
I think the most deranged of Batman's enemies would LIKE to imagine him as some sort of dark angel that punishes them for their sins in their personal mythical narratives.
To find out that he's just like them, some Damaged human being unable to cope with life's shit, would probably be pretty awful for them.
I liked the bit in the Snyder run few years back where Bruce thought Joker somehow made it into the Cave, and thus, knew who Batman really was. He took the card he found to Arkham as Bruce Wayne, snuck down to Joker's cell, and said "Think you dropped this"
Bruce could tell by Joker's blank stare that even if that was Joker's card, Joker flat out didn't care who Batman was. It's all a game to him and he doesn't give two shits what his best buddy/enemy does in his down time. He just likes to play the game
Look, Nicole, I get it. You dropped out of college to marry your childhood sweetheart and life was fun until, whoops, your first disappointment, so there you are working all hours to support your family while lover-boy over there is busy growing chins. Then, whoops, another disappointment, followed by a third that you still dream is better than the others, I get it. You know you'll never succeed so you want your kids to succeed for you. You hope that being friends with someone like me will help you climb that ladder, but you're living a lie. You are not good enough, they are not good enough, you've either got it or you haven't, and you haven't. So just be happy with who you really are.
You know everything but you still know nothing.
Jesus, was that actually in the show? That's down to the bone, man
I'm making a mega, give me a few minutes.
The reason they used Quagmire was so that Seth could take all the criticism people have leveled against his self-insert and attribute it to a rapist.
If you criticize Brian now, you're taking the side of a serial rapist. That was Seth's endgame.
Racist name
Almost makes me wish Joker had real downtime and he and Bruce meet up more than they think they do.
And that's the side Harley is trying to make whole but allows Joker to run free or risk that side becoming more dominate than it is.
This is the best example of this.
>play Arkham Knight
>overhear chatter from thugs about how fucking scary the Bat is
>later Scarecrow forces Bruce to take off the cowl on national television
>suddenly thugs don't think Bats is hot shit, he's just a crybaby trust fund kid with toys
Really makes your almonds sizzle
Saying
>nothing that you said is valid because you are x
Is a fallacy and intelectual dishonestly, and not a real argument and actualy doesn't invalidate any criticism.
It's an Ad Hominem.
...
where is my fucking spinelli edit?
Why is Beth such a shitcunt?
Yeah, because he mentioned it right in front of her. If you're going to roofie someone, you don't want to announce it right in front of them.
>Sup Forums constantly shits on Rick and Morty
>there's seven threads up all bitching about the last episode
You faggots are just fueling the fire with your intense hate-boner for this shit. Just stop giving it attention if you hate it so much, fucking christ, get your shit together. Put it all in a bag or something, I don't care, just get your shit together.
She's literally Bloberta 2.0
that's true tho
Except Lois is a cunt who lives to shit all over Peter for pretty much everything while ignoring her own faults
You know, I've only seen a few episodes of Gumball, but it's consistently exceeded my expectations. I'll probably watch the whole thing eventually.