Storytime

Inhumans once and future kings #1

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PRIEST
PRIEST
PRIEST
PRIEST

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I'm more that ready for some Priest.

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>Prequel
>Not a Nuhuman X-Men Wannabee in Sight

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FUCKED UP
FUCKED UP
FUCKED UP
FUCKED UP

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>Dan slott retcon is canon
Oh how I hate that man

Some people question when Medusa became the bitch she is today. All these flashback tell us is that she always was.

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Wow what a bitch.

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>schtuping your girl
But we can't have rape in a modern marvel comic.

Honestly if I were her I would fuck the king over this seeker guy.

Why isn't the colourist listed? Is it Noto?

Teen Crystal is cute! CUTE!

I am convinced that new york is a teleportation lightning rod and that nobody actually means to go there

Yes, Noto always colours his own art, or at least you know he did whenever it has this acquarello look

On one hand it is ben and Lockjaw hanging out again like back in the day. On the other they are taking two pages from Priest because Marvel can't afford to make it bigger without adding ten dollars on the price.

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No F4 trades
Maximus has only ever worn is black and white jacket

Amazing

Oh I see why Blackbolt isn't wearing his mask. I forgot Marvel wanted to shill some shitty synergy.

>gorgon, triton and karnak fans


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

primae noctis isnt rape. It's the lord's right.

>nerfed BB voice carried over to this comic
Will the "destroyed a city with his cries when he was a baby" shit retconned too?

Souless fucked everything.

>not even Priest can make inhumans work
the only thing that this franchise will be known for, is how to make a disaster after disaster

Holy shit my sides.

>no f4 trades
They aren't relevant to the story. That avengers issue is where their parent's death is explained and mighty is where unspoken was introduced. No point and throwing out F4 stories that won't be referenced.

Wait, this takes place after Maximus and Black Bolt's parents died? But it's Maximus fault they died, why are they getting along so well here?

Dc should probably have put something like this at the back of the new mr miracle book.

#notmyking

>Argus Magnar Maximus Boltagon
Is this new?

Pre-king Black Bolt not wearing a mask has been a thing since the 70s.

How old is the Royal Family supposed to be? I know Triton is like 100+, but what about Black Bolt and Maximus? Does this take place in 616?

Did a little digging, apparently Black Bolt is older than Triton.

>I know Triton is like 100+
Wait what?

God, this deliberate attempt to ride off the ABC show's premise would've hilarious even before the pilot got absolutely massacred at TCA...

And the fact its always the exact same spot it Times Square only reinforces it.

"Fantastic Four? What's that? No, Spider-Man was ALWAYS our first interaction with the outside world!"

This series is meant to be canon, but presents several continuity problems. Maximus' story here, he is portrayed as not being insane yet, directly contradicts his backstory and the stories now being done by Ewing in Royals.
And Spider-Man is apparently in the next issue, that creates even bigger continuity problems.

Triton was a kid when the Lusitania was sunk.

It's overriding history like man of fear did.

And solicits show that the Wizard is gonna show up too.

The better question is how the fuck is Maximus not insane since he was driven insane when Black Bolt used his voice and got his parents killed.

Yeah, that too. It's especially weird since Ewing did a story with that as a basis just 2 months ago.

Lockjaw is adorable!

"The Origin of the Inhumans" includes content from Lee/Kirby F4.

Hey now, Karnak has fans. I'm sure Gorgon has one or two fans, too.

>Triton fans
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wouldn't they start getting really fucking sick after setting foot into a metropolitan area like times square, what with the inhuman immune system being completely unaccustomed to most human diseases? And them being highly susceptible to pollution?

Even beyond that, one of the recommended readings at the end is the issue of Avengers that shows their death which explicitly says that's the event that made him go insane. This is well written enough but the sheer amount of continuity issues and contradictions this mini is causing is fucking astounding.

>I tried to drown both as children
Can you believe this thot?

Someone needs to crop that smug Lockjaw.

Hey, I'm a fan of Gorgon and Karnak.

It took years for Crystal to get sick and Black Bolt's powers can protect him and he can protect everyone else

Am I right to assume that the sinking of the Lusitania is painted as a "Germans are evil" thing? No mention of the millions of rounds of ammunition and other military materiel that the Lusitania was carrying? Nor that the Brits were routinely masking their ships as neutral merchant vessels with orders to sink any German submarine that surfaced to non-violently enforce the entirely legal blockade they were running on the UK and France?

To be fair, Germans are assholes.

How? Screaming at the germs?

>He thinks BB only has voice powers

To be fair, most of that is devious Anglo propaganda. Anglos were miles ahead of the Germans in the propaganda department in WWI.

Who's the hat guy?

I love how in every continuity the writer attempts to make Black Bolt a Cuck. Crystal is the best Inhuman girl anyway.

We don't know yet

>Medusa gets harassed years before they get together
>this cucks Black Bolt

Well, he's someone. You don't just call Maximus a dipshit.

1 - Why is Medusa such a massive cunt?

2 - Why are we supposed to like her?

I don't think Marvel has acknowledged the whole "pollution kills Inhumans" things in years. I mean, I know that in-universe they were cured of it, but still it should come up every so often, especially flashbacks like these.

future Maximus

I don't need propaganda to see that Germany are cunts.

Sorry which retcon?

I'm a Karnak fag. I love assholes. The same reason why I dig Black Manta.

Considering that to this day Germany never paid any reparation to Poland (which kinda surprised me, I thought that they had it resolved decades ago), yes, Germans are cunts

>guy holding a smartphone

I know Marvel has a sliding timeline, but this is ridiculous.

See this, folks? This is the effect of really good propaganda.

Because according to Marvel, massive smug cunt = strong female character.

>Why everyone is hatin' on Germans? We are good bois, We dindu noffin

Considering that the Soviet Union made the Germans pay the reparations for Poland directly to the Soviet Union, who promised to satisfy Poland's demands for reparation themselves and the Poles having sworn off further reparations from Germany on multiple occasions, including in the deal they made when Poland joined the EU, I'd say the Poles are just whiny bitches without any ground to stand on.

Alpha primitives use to be something the Inhumans cooked up in a lab.

Dan Slott decide he wanted to fuck up Inhuman continuity and created the slave Engine and the Unspoken. That change it to Alphas being humans that got transformed by the Slave engine.

In other words, Germany should pay the reparations. It's hilarious how you are backpedaling, considering that both Germans and Russians invaded Poland. How naive someone can be to think that the very same Russians would "satisfy" anyone but themselves?

cont. And there is difference between actual documents and treaties, and "sworn off". And let's not lie to each other, Poland join EU, so Germany would have another colony, when they would sell their shitty products. Hopefully, US will block your crap

>priest is a dc double agent sent to marvel to fuck up their inhumans even more

THE MADMAN

Just like Lemire.

based Lemire and based Priest
alas, the whole issue stinks of editorial meddling. When I've read interviews, I had a feeling that this mini would be actually more ambitious

In other words, Poles are lying filth and the Germans should have finished the job the first time around. Treaties were signed and the Poles got far more than they deserved in return for signing away their rights to any further reparations. A quarter of all German lands wasn't enough for them? Poles are truly the most whiny and butthurt people on this planet.

See? This is why Germans are cunts. Germans were, are, and forever will be humorless cunts. Why don't you gas me, Hans? I know you want it.

If you want to talk about politics why don't you two go to Sup Forums?
German/Pole here. It's all fine, we are friends now.

I just enjoy taking jabs at krauts.

>German/Pole here. It's all fine, we are friends now.
You are? Hm.....

>No mention of the millions of rounds of ammunition and other military materiel that the Lusitania
That wasn't proven until 9 years after that was published.