GI Joe

The Baroness of... what exactly?

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my dick

Goddammit.

Thanks, Noob Noob!

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In the IDW comics she was part of nobility but wanted to be a terrorist so she blew up her family's mansion with them in it and joined a bunch of cells until Cobra found her.

It's what Destro called her while practicing Japanese bondage.

Ugh, I know the whole point of Cobra is to avoid demonising any real world group but c'mon, you can't have a character who's royalty and never explain where she's royalty.

literally what is happening in Europe with the Muslim invasion

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>She was severely burned during a COBRA night attack operation and has had extensive plastic surgery.
Huh, I did not know that, does that ever actually come up? It's interesting to me that the the Cobra officer whom nobody would suspect of being facially disifigured is in love with Destro, the one guy besides CC everyone assumed was facially disfigured but wasn't.

She's eventually revealed to be the Baroness of DeCobray.

See, now weren't you happier not knowing?

Why though?

In the IDW comics she's just a poor little rich girl who hated her family because they only saw her as fit for marrying off and breeding children. While at college, she was seduced by a militant radical who led her into a life of terrorism.

The Marvel comics had her become a terrorist when her brother was killed while doing humanitarian work in the Vietnam war. She mistakenly believed the killer to be an American soldier, who went on to become Snake-Eyes.

In the live-action movies, she's Cobra Commander's sister, and Duke's ex girlfriend, and Cobra Commander brainwashed her.

In the 1980s cartoons, like most of Cobra, she doesn't get any origin or backstory.

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I remember in the comics they expanded on it, she got herself fucked up trying to save Destro from an assassination attempt. Of course it was all Cobra Commander's doing.

Judging by her accent in the original cartoon series, I would assume she's.... Eastern European? That narrows it down at least.

Fucking how.

White, well off Europeans being radicalism in their schools by the Muslims until their conversion. eventually they will head to the middle east where they will be part of some group until ISIS or other radical or larger groups takes them in.

This is a very low-level basic assessment of that situation. Do you get all of your geopolitical knowledge from twitter?

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I always assumed her accent was Russian (I watched the show as a kid).
So I assume she's some Russian nobility and her family escaped when the Commies took over.
Looking back I guess her accent is more germanic?

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sort of. the European nobility has often wavered between nationalism and internationalism. there were many times in history when the Polish nobility spoke French fluently, but could barely speak normal Polish; and this is not unique to Poland. They have always been able to move from country to country with relative ease, through intermarriage or other means.

Even today, the wealthier Europeans tend to be very mobile, polyglot, less nationalistic, and favor ideas like The United States of Europe, etc.

For someone like the Baroness, her identity as a European noble is much more important than her identity as a Romanian, or German, or Hungarian, or whatever.

Cobra is a capitalistic organization at its core, right? So what kind of student radicalism did she graduated from?

>So what kind of student radicalism did she graduated from?
All kinds.

beat me to it

delet this

A baroness is nobility, not royalty.

given her accent, eastern/central european. probably from a german, austrian, hungarian, romanian, or slavic noble house. a house that lost their official status after ww1 when the empires fell. then after ww2 the commies coming in. So the family took their wealth and went to somewhere in western europe. where the family still styles them selves as aristocrats.

she goes to university and gets radicalized. ends up with weird crowd and ideology. thinking that both the capitalist democrats and the autocratic communists are wrong. that the world needs to be brought back under the rule of nobles.

Which fits with Destroy. Who is a Scottish Laird, which is above a Sir, but below a Baron.

Her real name is (or was) Anastasia Cisarovna.

Was that in the old show? DeCobray's usually an alias or something, not a place.

She was Czech in the Devil's Due comics, nothing else ever really gave a definite answer of where she was from.

Nothing except the Rise of Cobra movie, but that got everything about her wrong.

I know we can't make a one-to-one comparison between the real world and the GIJoe Universe, but the questions we have to ask are given that she looks between 25 and 32 and the show started in 1982, the time frame for undergraduate activism would be 1968-1975. We don't know where she went to school, so the entirety of the western world is probably at grabs for right-wing student movements.

>Which fits with Destroy. Who is a Scottish Laird, which is above a Sir, but below a Baron.
So Baroness is always on top, eh?

who's going to be the brave/crazy soul to post the pregnant baroness pic (the one with the cobra commander snake baby)?

>Cobra Commander was a noble snakeman
>Barones is a baroness
>Destro is nobility too

no wonder they hate Democracy and the USA so much

I'm came for this and was not disappointed.

Does Destro ever get unmasked?

>For Personal Survival And The Promise Of Riches!

I like this guy. He's pragmatic.

he is a merc after all.

i wonder how many cobra personnel are doing it for free (or is unaware that they get paid)?

youtube.com/watch?v=b1oA7ZD5cN0

Firefly is a cool guy.

>muslim invasion

?????

?

Once or twice in the comics. Dunno about the cartoon.

Given the history of Eastern Europe at the time she was crated, its possible the country she's from got merged, absorbed, had its borders redrawn, seceded,and reabsorbed.

Hasbro should just get Kojima to Metal Gear up a reboot of this franchise.

Of course Destro is Sean fucking Connery.

>no refunds

Bernie?

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The movies were undeniably ass.

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I bet there is a large some doing it for ideological reasons, whether or not they actually agree with cobra matters, just what they think or are told to think matters. Cobra probably preys on a lot of Troubled youths and saying the right thing can breed die hard loyalty.

That's what I came here to say!

What is the best version of Cobra Commander and why is it failed car salesman Cobra Commander?

Hard to say if the franchise would work in todays political landscape, it might have to go into the Vietnam era rescue situations, or go all out and make it a massive political statement(this would be the most likely) and piss off one of the or both of the major political sides.

does anyone know the cartoon episode where the dreadnoks are training new recruits?

storm shadow is mostly in the background shaking his head until he had enough and showed them how things are done.

the recruits started following him afterwards.

way to post the most obvious answer

She was a Young Republican, I guess?

>So the family took their wealth and

How does that work when most of your wealth is tied up in real estate and rights? the rights disappeared when KuK collapsed and the land belongs to the people now.

>she goes to university and gets radicalized. ends up with weird crowd and ideology. thinking that both the capitalist democrats and the autocratic communists are wrong. that the world needs to be brought back under the rule of nobles.

Burschenschaften fraternities are al-male though. No way she'd be allowed to join any of those.

The clear answer is to go the way of starship troopers and make the joes a parody of american supremacism. Dems would be happy and republicans are to stupid to understand satire.

It's not like we're living in an age where Wall-Mart is co-financing ISIS by paying into the illegal antique trade and the US is using PMC child soldiers to fight their wars... honestly, right now COBRA's a respected and essential part of the establishment and the Joes are the idiots who need to be sidelined before they actually mess anything up.

>black guy
>scottish

pick one

You seriously want to talk about dems being able to recognise jokes?

Scotland does have people of an Afro-Caribbean heritage living here, even if they aren't as common.

Hail!

fpbp :D

Destro was Sean Connery all along?!

Seuction, I think. She got cozy with quite a few influential people only to basically tell them that from then on, Cobra has their secrets and is now taking what they want.

i thought she was hot in
youtube.com/watch?v=RkPEHM38_DA

Benjamin Franklin himself said that the Scotts are part of the coloured race.

>literally dobuting the truth of the Haddits of the Founding Fathers
Absolutely disgusting.

pretty good lore

They probably had ties with other aristrocratic families in Western Europe, as most at that time did, or had investments or real estate there, something also common for European nobles

Benjamin Franklin was a cunt

But even if they do exist, how could he be part of the aristocracy?

>CISarovna

>my fat manlet founding father can't possible be getting this much pussy

He was a brain chad. This fucker saw lightning and thought to himself "I'm gonna key God's car"

Why is COBRA so much better than GI Joe?

I can understand why the first one is hated, but the second one fixes a lot of what went wrong. The Cobra scenes and the ninja battle are fun, and Cobra Commander's new costume was great.

He wasn't a cunt, he was a (((Masonic))) agent.

>most of your wealth is tied up in real estate and rights?
Obviously they took all they could carry. Jewels, paintings, old books, silverware and cash.

>Burschenschaften fraternities are al-male though. No way she'd be allowed to join any of those.
There are student groups open to women. She doesn't need to be a technical member to be in their group.

Destro has always been White, but his original voice actor is Black. It's like Darth Vader.

Anyone who remembers the first Starship Troopers movie remembers all the angry reviewers who interpreted it as pro-Fascist.

And Washington had somebody rip somebody's teeth out so that he could have a nice set of dentures. God knows, he probably needed them to rape underaged girls or something.

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>from spoiled trust fund kiddie to student radical to outright terrorist

So she's a SJW?

It comes up in the comics, when Snake-Eyes gets sent to the same world-class plastic surgeon that treated the Baroness, leading to a kidnapping plot.

What's wrong with their faces?

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Ditto, I read that and thought this is either a great edit or just excellent writing.

The episode is called 'Countdown for Zartan'.

m-
fuck I literally came in here to post exactly this

NICE!

Did Baroness study at the Shaggy Rogers school of swooncing?

thanks!

kinda explains why vipers suck in the cartoons.

Until we see some champaigne muslim converts go on Patty Hearst style killing sprees, I'm going to have to disagree with you on your view there.

It's been radicalized middle class/ lower middle class first and second generation muslims overwhelmingly, with a smattering of fresh jihadis getting in.

Yeah sure