Remember that time steven saw porn?

Remember that time steven saw porn?

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>classy cover
>watch add
>porn
Sofcore bullshit a la Playboy, tops. Maybe even more like Maxim.

I'd pay more attention to the fact that the thick bitch on the cover looks like Sadie.

Remember that time Steven was kidnapped but was kicked out of the van after Greg realized he was desperate but not that desperate?

It proves that Lars has a type, and that type is THICC

...

>USAians consuming Kangaroo pornography
Truly the darkest timeline.

It's probably some tame stuff too, Porn Down Under is enforced with draconian laws.

Could be a themed cover, like when Marge was the Playboy covergirl.

How is that australian?
Is it like japan where they cant show genitals or something?

Nah, more age-restrictive or something? What I do know is that most hentai and cartoon porn is banned there. Oh and bestiality and furry is out too.

>NOICE
>thick bitch with big tits who looks as far away from loli as possible
>softcore
>not kangaroo
Pick two.

>What I do know is that most hentai and cartoon porn is banned there.
Why?

How can a country founded by convicts be so insanely puritan and repressed?

>Sofcore bullshit a la Playboy, tops
but Playboy isnt a porn magazine :^)

anything that remotely looks like a loli or shota gets v&. At least that's what I know of it.

Kinda makes sense tho. Sometimes people swing the whole other way when they want to prove that they're really not like that.

God, a Mad Max wasteland apocalypse would do Straya good, I tell you.

It would do the whole world good, m8
>feminists constantly taking over the media, trying to destroy mens rights and emasculate them, and co opt comics and cartoons
>white supremicists and refugees are acting equally as shitty and saying how everyone who doesnt follow their facist rapist god and whoever is gay should die and constantly run over people
>fucking trumps in the white house
>even besides the feminazis, movies are getting shittier and more political
I just want it all to burn in nuclear fire and make the survivors pay by living in a world without laws and filled with violance and penance for being apart of a society that made everyone hateful and miserable

I really did read it for the articles and I still cancled my subscription.

Correction: One cranky old judge in Queensland had a guy locked up for being found with cartoon porn on his computer, this ruling was never repeated by other courts or supported by higher courts.

It's more we are really overzealous in the pursuit of avoiding cp.
No flat chests (even in live action) no midgets. And obviously no loli but that's not unique.

THICC

>No flat chests (even in live action) no midgets.
What is it with britain and britsh like countries(south africa, australia) and there unhealthy obsession with pedophiles? I mean christ, your country bans porn of GROWN WOMEN just because theyve got a flat chest

People tend to get overly defensive when they have something to hide.

No, that's obese.

Well maybe if people didnt ban people from fapping to cartoon characters they wouldnt resort to diddiling little kids

>Young teen owning Playboy
>In 2017

I guess they couldn't have Steven wake up with Lars' laptop on his bed opened to some questionable tabs.

Hell yeah

Low test shit bag detected

Lars isn't a 'young' teen

Realistically, anyone under the age of 40 would not have a pin-up magazine anyway. Especially considering he could just find scans of said magazine on the internet.

Realistically? How old are you?

I just want to go to sleep knowing a skinny asshole nerd gets off solely to his short fat coworker with big tits and a large ass.

And that when he's not jerking off to the porn he's pounding Sadie like a jackhammer.

Are you actually trying to imply that young adults still buy nudie mags rather than just using Google?

Have you worked at a porn shop? I have

>TFW i think sadie is the hottest human character on the show besides priyanka
I dont know why, but ive always loved fat girls it might be because my mom was THICC

>Have you worked at a porn shop? I have
You cant say something like that and not greentext some stories

...

I don't think that's my reason but me too user.

I've been on a trip for two weeks and my short fat/chubby gf misses me as much as I miss her. I hate thicc and these threads right now. Fug.

Probably the sexiest thing that ever happened was when strippers came it to try on new outfits. Unfortunately nothing on the dear penthouse level. It was more like being a sex counselor.

>living the dream with a short thicc GF
Dont you ever loose her user, for my sake. Ive been alone for years and ive promised myself if i ever find love again i wont fuck it up like i did the last time. Plz stay strong just remember atleast you have someone most people on here are two steps away from killing themselves

>dear penthouse level
What now?

lol, in magazines there is usually a letters section where people would write in to ask questions or tell stories. Most notably i guess, Penthouse

Also been single for a couple years now. I've been trying to approach it with the idea that it's not worth worrying about, but I do worry anyway sometimes. Maybe some people are just better suited to being single. I don't know. What my therapist told me is that you should trust that desire. If you want to be a loving partner and be loved in return, that is a good and natural thing to want. There's nothing wrong with you in that regard, you just need to be paitent and allow love to find it's way into your life by itself.

She needs help. she'd morbidly obese and no one has told her she's unattractive yet. She's living an illusion.

Low
Test

Oldfags used to jerk off to saucy greentexts from the letters people sent in to Penthouse magazine, most of them fell into the "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact." category.

wow, that's really how it needs to be explained?

I can only remember one, from one of the porn mags I found in my uncles room.
It was a guy who was on a cruise and while he was swimming ends up running into a famous porn star who does some stuff with him, then later they went to a cabin and fucked more.

Nowadays you can just type "Sex Stories" into google and you have a vast wealth of the things at your fingerstips.
Literotica was a thing I browsed alot before it became too tame for my increasing degeneracy.

Lard
ass

Guess how I can tell you think you're informed but you actually have zero clue what's going on

...

I know exactly whats going on in the world retard

>2017 Sup Forums
>implying 90% of users don't fall into the normie/newfag/underageb& categories

No, it's Australian to wait for busses that will never come, check your boots for deadly spiders and add cyanide into your fuel tank so abbos don't siphon it.

>Emerald will never be able to live up to Sadies thiccness
Poor girl never will win lars over

She doesn't have tits or a vagina either, at least not yet

Dang she really doesn't stand a chance now

You a virgin

>talks like an edgy 12 year old

>the episode when lars, Steven, and Sadie were stranded on an island
>Sadie was the only one with hair on her bare legs
>Lars and Steven had nothing
They are really trying their best to make Sadie as gross as possible.

I still want to blow my load inside all her holes and you can't convince me otherwise.

Lars is 1/2 Feelapino (allegedly) and Steven is 1/2 hard-light ayyylmao. It makes sense that Sadie has the hairiest legs given the situation.

>tfw LarSadie is endgame
Unless Lars dies.

Still curious as to what the downside of the revival power is, now that Lion is going missing later.

Doesn't everyone in that show

when your birthstone is a fucking incapable dumbass and each art of her is making her more and more into a dumbass lusting for a dead pink guy that fans shove down people's ass, that cant protect and steal a ship back.

what a let down

You don't know what REAL pain feels like.
t. Ruby.

>Thick chick

I imagine Lars daydreams Sadie in that outfit

How do I get a qt fat gf?

>unironically using virgin as an insult
>on Sup Forums of all places
Oh I feel so insulted. You pointed out that I am pure, unanchored, and without any STDs or horrible children to worry about. You pointed out how I go out of my way to avoid losing these freedoms when countless others have lacked the will to avoid it. You pointed out that I am superior to you in every single way. How can I live on?

Yeah, but my fetish.

I met her on Tinder.

Seriously, give it a shot. For complete fucking shut in neets like us it is the only way I was going to meet someone.

You could probably pretty easily get a fat gf if you're at least 5/10. Just go on okcupid or tindr or bumble or whatever.

She might be crazy or entitled or an all around total bitch, though. A lot of fat women take their self esteem problems out on others, beware.

I miss how porn mags used to be when they first started out. In-depth interviews with the ladies, what they liked, what they wanted to do. It was nice. And they were much more attractive since they weren't airbrushed doodles based loosely on photographs underneath.

so progressive!

you dropped your fedora

There's nothing progressive about what user wants to do to dat ass.

>two steps
Fucking normies.

Name
Fag

I bet it's something like, only one zombie can exist at a time, and by bringing back Lars, Steven is basically killing lion. Also, that means if someone closer to Steven dies, he finally has a difficult choice to make.

Hey, atleast your gemstone isn't the combination of a whiny lard-ass and a salty holocaust-survivor...

Speaking of steven universe, could somebody help me out? The normal source I use for watching it online only goes to episode four of season 5. Any other sites go a bit further?

nigga its on hiatus. season 5 started off with a bang and hopefully it doesn't lose the momentum

But who's emerald? I haven't seen her yet, so clearly I'm missing a few episodes

>tfw your birthstone is a generic stronk tall person with no person to speak of

SDCC

that was sneak peak into an upcoming episode.

>tfw your birthstone has been reduced to a Zim knockoff

Just watched it. Pretty noice

Sadie's thick, fluffy (probably with some modest muscle) and is literally crotch height. I just wanna squeeze her.

which episode had the pearl points or whatever they're called again? I remember watching that and being like "are those fucking good boy points?" cracked me up.

Steven VS Amethyst

>this guy doesn't appreciate a woman with wide, birth bearing hips and thick figure that are perfect for rearing your offspring
It's almost like you're a faggot or something.

Before or after she kidnaps you?

>perfect for rearing your offspring

mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/pregnancy-and-obesity/art-20044409

>another i'm smarter than everyone centrist post

I'm superior because I fucked a 400 pound ugly piece of shit.

Doubt it. I think that Lion going missing is why it took them so much time to visit Lars again and why he had enough time to became a space pirate raiding other worlds without them noticing.

She can't possibly be a shortstack now.

All of yours are terrible and mine's pretty great, sucks to suck

Both. Nothing is better than Stockholm syndrome sex.