Prison

I'm just out of prison for stealing cars and selling them.
I did one year inside from a two year sentence.
Serving time in UK is not like Norway or Sweden. It is hard time.
I regret my actions. Ask me anything.

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Start from the proofs?

Is a 'prison year' 9 months in the UK like in norway? Was your two year sentence actually 18 months?

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Did you drop the soap?
What's the size of your anus now?

Top kek lad.

You do half your time in the UK and spend the rest on parole/license.

>assuming British prisons are like American ones.

Proof first


How many Muslims did you fucking rek

is what they say about Islamification and Islamic gangs growing and creating jihadists inside of prison true?

apparently there are a shitload of white British dudes converting in prison and being made into homegrown jihadists

Is it a bad experience any gangs and corruption,who's the daddy?

do you have punkboys there?

How are you, my romanian / bulgarian / polish friend?

What are punk boys?

ever have sex with another man? did you like it?

Did you get any valuable connections?

Reported for not being politics.

You can rephrase your opening post as a general comment on or discussion about prisons when your post gets deleted if you like

I was sentenced to two years. I did one year because of good behaviour.
No. The showers were communal, but I was on the football team and had regular showers.

oh yea sorry.
Forgot muslim dick is much smaller than black one

Gook and kike asking the tough questions.

gay prostitutes

>because of good behaviour

What did the warden's cum taste like mate?

Also have you ever watched Bad Girls?

since OP has fucked off, i'll step in. done 6 months for assault recently. ama.

Do they serve tea & biscuits in jolly old prison, m8?

How many black people in your prison? What was the most troubling gang or group?

>Reported for not being politics.
How is the prison system not related to politics?

No.

I don't know.

Muslims are over represented as prison population.

Yes. I know some people that you don't want to meet.

What?

Oh

actually... yes. custard creams and bourbons, none of that tesco value shite though.

Did you convert to Islam in prison?

>mfw living in god tier Finland
>mfw if I ever decide to rape a woman, I will probably never be convicted because it's hard to prove it
>mfw even if I am convicted, I have statistically only a 50% chance of going to prison (probably I'd get a suspended sentence, i.e. literally no consequences other than having to show up at court)
>mfw even if I am convicted and given prison time, on average I would only get 14 months
>mfw I would still only serve half of that sentence with the second half being a suspended sentence i.e. freedom as long as I was a first time offender
>mfw you regain your first time offender status once you've gone three years without committing crimes
You can't make this shit up.

Did a brown gentlemen with cigar fingers grab you're pud-pud?

Now that you're out and free, I recommend jumping off a bridge to your death.

nope. none of that shit is tolerated by the guards, they keep to themselves.

A taste of porridge can do wonders. Don't fucking do it again, you bloody gyppo.

How easy is it to masturbate in prison? Are you watched frequently or can you just hide under the blanket or behind the door? Are there some female prison guards watching through that door window sometimes?

Also what if you oversleep in the morning?

>It is hard time
That the name the Paki who fucked you up the ass every day gave his dick?

Kek

OP here. Tea is a human right. It cannot be violated.
I was arrested by the police - I got caught. The frist thing after I used my right to silence was to be offered tea. And toast.
Tea is so imprtant.

I can't go to USA because I'm a 'felon'. But whatever.
My wife is a police officer. She catches criminals.

>Are there some female prison guards watching through that door window sometimes?
Jesus wept?

You're white though user
They will convict you for SJW brownie points
5 years ago you would be right because Funlan was based but about 2 years ago you started following Norway's example and you are sliding down that cuck slope

you had "regular Showers" ..You were Top or Bottom??

The local gangster tried it on with me when I told him I didn't care that his son was in prison. I also had no idea who he was. This enraged him further.

Because I was younger, a lot fitter, actually knew how to fight and hadn't been in Yates' drinking Strongbow since dinner time I knacked him in front of his mates, which didn't go down well. Some time later I Googled him and turns out he is a massive criminal. "Hardest man in England" and all this shite.

What I'm saying OP is that prison is full of fannies and if you went to one in Russia or Nicaragua I might be a bit interested in what you have to say, but western prisons are evidently full of the sort of choppers who wear Stone Island and used to beat up students when working nightclub doors because they weren't allowed in the Army.

I occasionally get ex-prisoners selling random stuff at my door, they say it really helps their situation if I buy something.

Is this true or a scam?

assault bro here, you can indeed travel to the usa with a conviction. you just need to go to the US embassy and get a visa from them. explained what happened and it was honestly no bother at all. they're good people at the embassy and will help.

depends, but it's most likely junkies trying it on for their next score.

So are you """reformed""" now or just sorry for being caught?

Why do petty thieves get jailtime, while famous nonces get off scot-free?