How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?

How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?

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create a time machine that turns time back to the 80s
have them air the gi joe movie first (suck it prime!)

Wait for the PC hugbox phase in the industry to end and then reintroduce it in all its campy, violent glory.

Bring back Renegades or make another G.I. Joe cartoon with an ongoing story.

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Make it like this maybe. Both sides not just the joes

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I like mask Cobra Commander better then helmet Commander

You can't. The globetrotting teams of superhero operators are the purview of Tom Clancy video games and Jason Bourne knockoffs now.

Wacky military shit doesn't really sell anymore. People want the grit, even if it's dumb gory grit.

>People hate the military
>People are sick of terrorists
>Too many white males, Snake Eyes in particular would cause a riot among cultural appropriation retards

The only way to fix it is to go back to the 80s and 90s.

Make it like Overwatch. Not even memeing. Take some cues from Overwatch. Kids love that game, and it's a bunch of wacky soldiers fighting other wacky soldiers.

As possibly the biggest G.I. Joe fan on Sup Forums, I hate to say this, but... you don't. It's too late. That ship has sailed.

Copy the fuck out of COD, except zanier.

>Gaijin Joes

>How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?
Get Michael Bay to direct a film.

That design was awesome. I don't get why they didn't get Charlie Adler for the voice.

The problem with the movies is that Cobra never really seems like they are a plausible threat that requires a multinational counter terrorist force to stop. Take the cartoons, Cobra was a fully equipped and trained military force that caused Gi Joe trouble till they figured out a way to defeat them. In the movies they have these grandiose plans but you don't see major battles or Cobra troops in the streets in force.

Show me a Cobra that wrecks shit and has tons of over the top specialized soldiers and show me a violent clash between them and Gi Joe. The reason the transformers movies worked generally was they felt quite close to the source material and feel of it.

Just make it like the Fast and Furious movies except with the military and highly specialized international counter terrorism operations, which is somewhat what those movies have slowly become.

Pretty much this. So basically never.

Playing up the secret society angle might work for a serious series.

Literally the only smart person that actually has half a brain in this entire fucking thread.
You FUCKING RETARDS.
OVERWATCH IS LITERALLY MODERN GI JOE IN VIDEO GAME FORM.
It's so fucking obvious and only one person figured it out, what the fuck Sup Forums.

Supplant it with its vastly-superior British counterpart, Action Man.

Seriously, I didn't even know what GI Joe was until later in life, and aside from the bigger roster of cooler-looking villains and ninjas, I don't see the appeal.

I can't stand those designs. Everyone has little squinty eyes and big noses.

The aesthetics took some getting used to, but I ended up liking the A-Team vs. Umbrella Corporation quite a bit.

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>Make it like Overwatch.
>it's a bunch of wacky soldiers fighting other wacky soldiers.
I mean, I'll admit that I actually play the game but fuck, how did I not notice this before? Overwatch is already wacky while still have serious tones, it's practically the same kind of formula as GI Joe.

Soldier 76 is pretty much based off of Duke

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Cobra vs. Nod
Which faction wins?

Or we could do that now to accelerate the ending of said PC hugbox phase.

Kids love campy violence. Look at the number of underage tots gleefully swearing at you on any given CoD/Halo/Overwatch server. It's like the easiest sell ever.

>The reason the transformers movies worked generally was they felt quite close to the source material and feel of it.

>How do we fix the GI Joe franchise?

By taking it behind the shed and Old Yellering it.

Go full force Cobra-La.

Not even memeing, if you want GI Joe to be a thing again all the old Hama fags need to take their semi-realistic military fantasy and shove it up their ass.

Cobra needs to be Cthulu ancient snake men invading earth from the hollow Earth or something, and GI Joe need to be Overwatch. So more wacky ninjas and gorrilas less Dukes.

The moment you try and do the "Cobra are terrorists and GI Joes are MURRICA FUCK YEAH MURRICA MILITARY FUCK YEA" you're dead.

Or just make GI Joe be the Chinese military and watch all the money in the world flow to your bank account.

Make Scarlett porn?

Bring it back

I think GI Joe is beyond saving at this stage. Everyone that would watch it is so anti-america/anit-the-establisment right now.

Renegades had the right idea with the little guy vs the secretly-evil-governement/corporation. Another reboot like that might work.

If people hate military so much and terrorists nowadays should it be changed into spy agency/freelance mercenary heroes?

Cobra corporation(like from Renegades) is also a good idea

This

Resolute done it better but it was too animeish

Only Sunbow done it right
fuck DiC

Make Cobra both extreme left and right groups teaming up to make a utopian society

Well you have a right

I'm legitimately surprised that there apparently isn't a G.I. Joe porn parody.

G.I. Hoes?

But that's what original Cobra is

The helmet is cooler

This. I've been thinking now for awhile that Overwatch is basically G.I. Joe but with the power levels turned way up.

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My money is on Cobra, a last second double sweve from Destro causes the joes to blow up cobra AND nod, but allows cobra to escape with a huge pile of treasure.

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GI Joe
>a group of para military operators serving secretly through the intelligence services of multiple nations. founded in ww2. when a group of german officers discovered someone was pulling the strings of the nazi party, fascist italy, communist russia, imperial japan, and the united states. they managed to get soviet, american, english, french, japanese, chinese, and italian operatives together into an unofficial task force. they couldn't stop the war. though they did gather evidence and get a few head figures from the shadow organization. the code name GI Joe was picked because it was the name of the main character in american soldier comic books printed out to instruct soldiers on use and care of their equipment. expanding during the cold war, secretly funded through the UN as an agricultural aid program. they secretly recruited from nearly every nation. trying to keep the peace and prevent nuclear war.

Cobra
>secretly founded in mid 1800s British India by an English aristocrat. Membership of aristocrats and industrialists from all over the world. Original goal was to get their organization to be the power behind the power of any nation that mattered. To protect their own interests. Though failures and the collapse of empires from ww1 changed their goals and policy. When the original Cobra Commander overthrew the ruling council and made him self leader. No one knows the identity of this cobra commander, or any of the subsequent ones. Now Cobra was dedicated to direct world dominance. through the spread of strife, chaos, poverty, and war. they also have legitimate fronts. Major multinational corporations, charitable foundations, progressive non government organizations, and even the UN was their idea. If anyone looked at their members. all they would see are a bunch of wealthy and connected people getting together to talk about spreading democracy, equality, and ending poverty. they have their own paramilitary groups.

>cobra's paramilitary groups are for when direct action is needed, because a proxy cannot be duped into action. if caught they are impossible to tie to Cobra. unless you know the specific frequency of UV light that will make their tattoo glow.

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Its not about what the kids want. Its about what their parents want them to want. And this generation of parents is a bunch of faggots who take fun for granted and want the TV to teach their child how to be a better person first and foremost while they watch adult cartoons

Which is why it's exactly time to stop listening to them.

My parents were whiny religious buzzkills who mercifully mellowed out on the fire and brimstone as I got older, but that didn't stop me from finding ways to watch all the cartoons they hated for being "violent and immoral" and films like Robocop, Terminator and Alien before my eighth birthday.

is that some random HD screen or is it available by "questionable" sources?

*tips fedora*

Road hog?

I like the idea from Renegades that Serpentor was just CC's pet cobra

>Combined historical leaders into one being that wears halloween costume
Damn what a stupid idea it was
What they were thinking?
Do people back then even like Serpentor?

Like with most stuff, the answer is to go back to its roots. Unapologetic hamminess and sexiness. Over the top.

> make Cobra Commander sexy
> give him 5 minutes of screentime

The first basic Gijoe toyline and comic series were great and then stuff went weirder and weirder

He's right though. The people running screaming away from the "toxic violence and masculinity" of 80s and 90s cartoons aren't kids but their suddenly self righteous and holier than thou parents. You think the average kid these days doesn't watch violent anime or adult swim style shows in between cursing eachother out over voice chat? This while their parents claim that no kid is interested in that kind of thing being included in their cute wholesome entertainment and GI Joe lasers would normalize aggression and violence in their innocent little minds. Its bullshit.

Since terrorism, specifically militant terrorism has become more of a touchy subject than simply "Villain Occupation" in media, it's next to impossible to get GI Joe back into the spotlight as it was back in the 80s, and that's not even getting into military depiction in this day and age.

Hell, even though Cobra was never a metaphor for any one nation or culture,.

I've mused about this before and the only thing I could think of that could *possibly* work is if Cobra was re-imagined as either alien invaders, or humans who sold out to aliens/found alien tech in their back yard and the Joes are over-the-top a la Overwatch as people have said. If it feels like Cobra is more of an invasive force from outer space (Blue drop ships, BAT robot armies and such) then at least you have a literal enemy of the entire world and a few rando humans as the bad guys opposed to something someone could legit take offense at, especially if GI Joe keeps up its mutilcutural-but-military aesthetic.

Go full retard with Infowars-type conspiracies in the plot. Cobra and GI Joe are both funded by international elites to ramp up the war on terrorism, paralyze the masses with violence and fear, and justify the establishment and expansion of a global political state. Cobra and Joe agents come to realize that everyone is getting played.

FUCKING TURKEY DINNER!

When you give it some thought, Overwatch is basically GI Joe
It's weird

Just make GIJOE into an American version of UNIT from Doctor Who, complete with the wackyness from the 80's show.

GIJOE is who you call in when things are just too WEIRD for DELTA/SEALS/Green Berets like....

animal mind control devices,
giant booby trapped funhouses
giant mutant fruits
ghosts
Cobra trying to recreate dinosaurs.

These were plots from actual episodes of the classic cartoon.

>not mixing the mask and helmet together

plebs, the lot of ya

Reminder that they didn't want Firefly to have a mask and based Ray Stevenson brought his own

>Soldier 76
>Snake Eyes
>Not Genji
I mean for god's sake, he's the only ninja in the game.

Just make a continuation of Resolute, that shit was so cash.

nerds always cry about PC nazis taking the fun out of everything, yet there are more action movies, more violent video games, and more dark anti-hero tv shows every year. I really wish you tender princesses would shut up.

a better question is why GI Joe isn't working. the movies help nothing, but the last few cartoons have been pretty good. why is it that Destiny, Call of Duty, and Titanfall are all successful games, but there is no GI Joe game? and those things could all be GI Joe!

in fact, there are enough Joes, that you could tell almost any story with them! Uncharted style ruin crawling? Joes have done that. weird sci-fi experiments? check. parachuting out of space behind enemy lines for some James Bond spy capers? done and done.

I wonder if the only problem with the GI Joe property is just the name

People don't like giant corporations nowadays, make Cobra a corporate entity that does some decidedly bad things on international soil. The big twist can be that their paramilitary actions in places like Brazil, Thailand, the horn of Africa, etc are actually being encouraged and funded under the table by elements of the US government and the alphabet agencies, so after the first season GI Joe is forced to become an independent entity to tackle both.

Show can have some educational content crowbarred in by attempting to make its depictions of foreign cultures as accurate as possible.

where do you get that people hate the military? there are ultra liberals who do, but those people are as rare as the ultra conservatives who want to literally build a border wall.

I think the problem is too much connection to real world events. we are too aware of the fallout of military adventurism. we have seen too many scenes of civilians getting crushed under rubble or filled with shrapnel from bombs falling on the wrong targets.

GI Joe would have to either go hard on the sci-fi capers and nonsense, or go hard with the real world implications. either set Cobra up as cartoon villains with tons of cool weapons and android soldiers to shoot, or blend in real scenarios and tell some human stories of people involved in the conflict. personally, I go with the latter. everyone knows someone who was in the military. everyone knows how fascinating, and frightening that can be. do those people some justice

resolute was fucking atrocious

I like this idea. the Joe movies were a little bit like this. The first one was stupid as shit, and the second one had too small of a budget. there is a balancing act that only works when you get a guy with a vision, and movie companies are too scared of risk to let that happen

Seriously? Based Stevenson.

That mask really worked. I hate movies that are too scared to just do the costumes and go all out. That's part of the appeal in the first place.

Did anyone else think Cobra Commander was the coolest as a kid?

You're fucking atrocious

>as a kid

He's still the coolest.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=TDOXM6_AzZk

I would love a movie that capitalizes on Commander's talent at methodical planning.

that was basically the set up of Renegades. Which, by the way, is fucking brilliant. A corporation would have its fingers in lots of pie: weapons development, destabilizing poor nations for access to cheap natural resources, currency manipulation, mercenary armies, corporate espionage. all the shit that is legitimately fucking up our world, and is hard for the little guy to have any effect on. now, make the Joes ordinary soldiers, and we have this wonderful metaphor of the futility of trying to shoot your way out of problems that people in power are perfectly happy to leave in place. lots of paranoia and conspiracy theories. characters from all over the toyline popping in for single episode appearances...

Why did that show die, anyway? was it just a casualty of the Hub channel going down, or did it actively not sell toys?

>likes gi joe all style and no substance
>proceeds to post samurai jack reaction image

well, this is making a lot of sense.

>"During production of the film the character was not supposed to wear his trademark camouflaged mask, but Stevenson, who researched the character and became a fan of the original Firefly, lobbied to be shown wearing it in some scenes."

Larry Hama hated Serpentor.

Buzz Dixon and most of the writers for the cartoon hated Serpentor.

I always hated Serpentor. Maybe if he was an actual snake man instead of an idiot in a snake costume, he would have worked.

possibly my favorite gi joe character.
i'd like to see a show in a metal gear solid meets jack kirby kind of direction.

they'll never let me write for this franchise.

Sigma 6 a shit.

So why did it take the cartoon longer to kick him out unlike the comics?

I never got why in the cartoon everyone decided to side with him over the Commander.

Why work with a hot headed idiot and not the man (or serpent) that started the whole organization?

Hasbro wanted to sell more toys.

Mix of merchandizing, the live action movies being lackluster, and the hub's constant shuffling

I get Mindbender and Destros preference but every else....well everybody's a backstabby motherfucker at Cobra. CC needed a loyalist. I wish Major Bludd got to be that, while not to bright and quite unlucky in some of the mini series he seemed pretty loyal and devoted.

Also I'd love to have Metalhead from the DIC series become a major character again.

I like the idea of Serpentor being a genetic experimentation on making a biological superman, who then takes over Commander's spot by force.

I agree, but most of the Cobra designs were based

look at this fucker

>ultra liberals hate the military
it's not just liberals, it's basically anyone who's done a shred of research that knows all the wars are for corporate profit and the troops don't actually protect rights. example: the nazi war machine owed its existence to u.s. corporations

they saw CC as a buffoon and saw serpentor as some sort of leader that would make cobra good again?

basically it's every election ever. incumbent is seen as ineffective, potential new guy is seen as a saviour. either the new guy lives up to the hype or not. you just have to install him to power to know exactly which though.

Seemed odd for Baroness and Zartan to not back Commander up.

can't we just suspend our belief? it's fiction, maybe it's set in a universe where the US actually is the "big good guys"

Is this the one that only had like 5 voice actors in it?

Zartan goes where the money is. Serpentor in charge and with Destro backing him means that's where the money goes.

Baroness sided with the Commander in Dragonfire didn't she?

Yes

>whole cartoon is 3-4 joes fighting waves of disposable cobra troops

it's god awful, and I can't believe people praised the shit out of it because "OMG BLOOD IS KEWL"