You have been given an unlimited budget to write and direct a chris chan biopic

you have been given an unlimited budget to write and direct a chris chan biopic.
what do you do?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/l8sXlyd5dU0
encyclopediadramatica.rs/Chris-chan
sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page
youtube.com/watch?v=bXjnakAlF-s
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

refuse

Hire Tommy Wiousauski

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90 minutes purely focused on him growing his clit by listening to binaural videos on youtube, final scene is doctor telling him its not a clit but a busted ass taint.

Launder it all

Weed and hookertime.

Give the movie to an intern and call it a 3 year 'held up in production. before running the budget out. Turn in inters B movie and call it an artflick that the artist needs as no one deserves to watch it.

>taint?

Someone is already doing it.

youtu.be/l8sXlyd5dU0

this is what inspired me to ask in the first place

>Brendan as CWC
Pure Kino.

You clearly havent delved too deep into the chris chan universe

oh I know, but you can't post that on a blue board.

you need to go back

How do I read about him? Ive always seen him posted on various boards, but I don't know his story.

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Go read the anthology on encyclopediadramatica.rs/Chris-chan
And you can get more detailed info on the cwc wiki sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page
Id suggest reading through his whole history in 1 sitting, its fascinating

Obviously I'd hire Louis Theroux

Pocket the unlimited funds and make a timeline compilation of Chris's videos.

NEWFAGS GET OUT

youtube.com/watch?v=bXjnakAlF-s

Put it all into the sonichu cgi scene

What kind of review will pic related give?

Fuck that shit, I would use that budget to make a documentary on MadThad, the original tripfag madman

No, i like this board. Much less taxing than pol.

take the money and run, no one wants to see that shit.

Keep the money, and just have a guy splice together a bunch of his videos together and call it a day.

did he ever find a no boyfriend girlfriend?

How is he not dead from that yet?

this is why we tell you to lurk faggot

Grab as much money as possible and flee to a country with no extradition treaties.

>start with trilogy which chronicles everything from the Megan Saga all the way to the First Exile
>take a break and make a 3-hour prequel "trilogy" package film since a full-fledged prequel trilogy would require too much padding and I want to start with Episode IV being the first movie, the prequel package film will chronicle everything before the Megan Saga
>sequel trilogy opens with Episode VII, which chronicles everything post First Exile that happened before the Second Exile, Episodes VIII and IX take place post-Second Exile
>Anthology spin-off films chronicling the Exiles and maybe add more detail into certain sagas
>as I cannot see the future and what Chris-chan has in store for him, I don't know what to do with future sagas as of now but some of them will be in Episode IX (as Episode VIII already has enough content going for it while Episode IX still doesn't have enough content to store a half or maybe a quarter of the movie without padding),
>depending on how long we can chronicle Chris-chan's life, Episode X will either be the last one or be the start of another trilogy, and whether there will be more Anthology films
>as for casting and everything else, I don't know yet
>the film will be shot in 60fps 70mm film and finished on 70mm film, nothing digital, I wanna go full Nolan with this

who to cast as megan?

Give the job to Todd Solondz instead

Amy Schumer

His mother's still alive?

She would make a good chris chan

>Unlimited budget
I'd do a 5 hour mixed processes/collage adaptation of Sonichu cramming every single historical moment worldwide in the XXIth century obviously

Why the fuck would you go with a straight depiction of chris?

GET ALL THAT STUFF OFFA THERE

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Remember when Chris grew a vagina?

>watch cartel beheading
>no reaction
>see this
>wants to vomit

Fucking hell

All from listening to youtube videos

Ethan Suplee as CWC. It will be his Oscar winning role.

I wasn't too sure when I said that it will only be shot in 70mm.
There will be digital shots captured with an iPhone but that will only be for recreating recorded footage of Chris-chan.
And even then, iPhones will only be used since they can provide that shot-on-a-camcorder feel while still looking great and in 4K.

The 70mm scenes will be graded on film rather than digitally so that it can be rescanned and remastered in higher resolutions for future re-releases and since mastering 70mm on film will make it look great compared to grading the film digitally.
The 4K iPhone scenes will be upscaled for future remasters beyond 4K.

There will be 70mm, 35mm, and 16mm prints as well as 2K and 4K DI releases.

The digital master is purely digital for the iPhone scenes and are in native 4K.

It's impossible to do a Chris Chan biopic without Phillip Seymour Hoffman playing the titular protagonist.

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This.

Or Harmony Korine

The horror

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Get a halfway decent actor to portray Chris, film some of the more entertaining parts of his life (and seeing how those just consist of a mildly reatrded man running around in Virginia it shouldn't be very expensive), keep the rest of the money. Maybe animate some Sonichu comics if I'm feeling fancy.

pfffft
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

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His name is Christine you cislords

Basically this Animated parts are done by Gendy Tarkovsky and come during critical moment of the film, showing Chris skewed perception of reality
Don't know who to cast though

>The Rock as Clyde Cash
as /litty/ as that'd be, pic related is the obvious choice

is there any option other than goose?

I'd want to cast Chris as himself. But Ia worry the HRT would male the early years impossible.

>things/dont click/cp/cp
I think he might actually be retarded

This

delete this

>Micheal claimed this post was a joke
Everytime