Would you welcome Prince William as your President?
LONDON —In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.
Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”
“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.
The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”
Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”
Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”
England's Islam national cocksucking would be a liability to us. That the #`1 reason I want nothing to do with that country. And if any fellow Americans knew what mindless sadistically, American-hating psychopaths the English are, you wouldn't want anything to do with that Pisslam fellatrix either. An Englishman's greatest joy is crawling on their bellies for the most violent religious bloodbath on the planet.
Henry Edwards
Alright, don't give yourself a coronary you fat cunt.
Jaxson Adams
Yes yes fat ugly americucks come home to your master slave you 60% white disgraces
Ayden Lewis
Sorry Your Majesty, Tom Paine told me not to recognize royalty.
Jose Gray
clean your own backyard thx
Nolan Adams
If it were put to vote separate of the pres election I'd vote yes to return to sensible monarchy
Thomas Richardson
kek
Jace Ross
I'll tell the queen the same thing I told my grandmother.
I like you, but any more talk like that and I'll toss you down the stairs.
Who's laughing now, granny?
Jose Smith
...
Nolan Harris
import the British sluts ill take this one.
Chase Powell
Nice source, faggot. Are the mods all passed out on Vicoden and dick, or something?
Elijah Lopez
I liked that onion article too.
Come on by, 'Nam, and bring your sister. I'll happily give you an orange "soda" and keep her.
Oliver Robinson
>England's Islam national cocksucking would be a liability to us. How many people have died in ISIS attacks on English soil?
Landon Lee
> t. child molester
Easton Hernandez
She's 19 dumbass.
William Wood
counting 7/7, less than 60.
Luke Bennett
>mfw people think it's real
If only...
Connor Harris
dont forget all those child rape victims becuase "we didnt want to appear racist" and lets not forget youtube.com/watch?v=f8WVkbXOHfM
