I'm a real Wizard. AMA

I have approximate knowledge on many things, ask any question you want to know but be prepared for answers you might not like.

Other urls found in this thread:

forgottenlanguages-full.forgottenlanguages.org/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I want to change into light and back at will

whats the best way to start doing that?

Almost everyone here will end up a wizard.

How badly does Trump win?

Whats the best kind of meditation to build up energy fast? What do you use?

the best way to achieve that would be to turn your molecular structure, and the atoms that comprise that, into ionized plasma.

I've seen this attempted before, the guy turned into light, but hasn't been able to turn back yet, will keep you posted.

sidenote: if you just want your body to be illuminated and produce light apply baby oil mixed with glow in the dark paint, stand in front of a UV light for 15-24minutes (depending on your skins complexion) and the enter a dark area.

i always though thtis was a long necked pepe with his head upside down but i just noticed its pepe rubbing his forhead, pretty spooky

Why do I like cocaine so much?

**PLEASE NOTE THIS IS APPROXIMATE KNOWLEDGE

It's like we will see a near-landslide, if not an absolute landslide. This could be derailed, but that is unlikely.

Expect a devastating blow to be struck against the global elite on Nov. 8th, and the finish blow on February 1st.

My personal form of meditation is pain-focused, subjecting myself to incredibly hot water and remaining in it. This relaxes the muscular structure very well and clears the circulatory system, while doing so remain in the dark with only a few candles dancing in the steam filled air, focus on the shadows cast by the candles and clear your mind entirely.

I do this twice a week, but that is because of my busy reading schedule (especially in this crazy election)

I feel like my life is over.
I feel like I've missed the golden years.
I have no idea what a 33 year old is supposed to do.
I'm very far behind in my development.
I feel too old now, some of the things I've listed below you do when you are 14 - 24.
I feel I no business being anywhere.

> Dutch
> 33
> Lived abroad most of my Life, in an islamic country
> Never had sex
> Never drank alchohol, never tried
> Never smoked, never tried
> Never used drugs, never tried
> Never interacted with girls
> Never talked to a girl
> Never touched a girl
> Never kissed a girl
> Never had friends
> Never hung out around town
> Never hung out with peers
> Never been to a house party
> Never been to a club
> Never been to a bar
> Never been to university / college partying
> Never been to an event (concert, football match, comedy show, etc)
> Never been on holiday
> Never been to summer camp
> Never been to a party island like Ibiza
> Never had a stereo in my room
> Never had a tv in my room
> Never had a console in my room
> Was not allowed to bring people over
> Was not allowed to go to other people's homes
> My parents were very strict and would use guilt tricks to keep me indoors
> My parents also used the same excuse over and over again, which was "You are too young for that, you are not ripe enough".
> Another excuse was "Because you lack expierence you are not allowed to participate, only when you have enough expierence are you allowed to participate".

most likely you have a sad empty life that makes you especially susceptible to addictive tendencies, Cocaine as a stimulant means your enjoyment likely comes from a sedentary life style. I could be wrong since, well cocaine is great.

What the fuck

Become a Wizard. Everything you listed is a waste of time and an absolute distraction to self-advancement and a life of study, your life is not over my Wooden-Shoed friend. If applicable subject yourself to a length of hermitage and reflect on not just your life, but human development as a whole.

Those who do not belong in society are likely those meant to record it.

Holy shit.

Where tf is your dubs wizard??

stolen by a Chinese Sorcerer, working to get it back. Looking for adventurers to aid me in such a quest.

>yfw he really is a wizard

Why when you flip a coin a thousand times the ratio of head and tails is 1 when every toss is an independent event? It should have a random distribution, what is this order?

Ok, here you go:

1.What is your opinion on Kek and meme magic?
2.What kind of tradition do you prefer to work with?
3.What kind of literature can you recommend to study?
4.What kind of diet would you recommend?
5.What is your opinion on Trump's chances of winning?
6.What kind of techniques do you prefer for healing, hexing and fortune telling?
7.What are you views on nature on consciousness?

You just got it, so no need for adventurers to do it for you.

I hope that at least you have some ambition outside of that. Please tell me you at least finished school and have a career or something.

I misplaced the question mark, serious question though.

looks like you got them back

It's simple gravitational force. If you put an object in a system with no outside interference it inevitably becomes 1 or zero depending on what the object or input is. It's like a pendulum, it inevitably stops moving once the momentum energy is dispersed unless energy is reapplied.

How do I cross the border between dimensions into different planes of existence?

despite the argument of natural universal entropy this is not true, the universe does in fact follow a set of rules that are difficult to discern, such is the ultimate study of being a wizard.

Your coin question is one of the first questions apprentices are asked to solve, so here is the answer:

A coin's likely hood of landing on heads or tails is not truthfully 50/50 and depends on multiple variables. Despite these variables, the average across the board is always 50/50.
The variables are:
-Atmosphere
-Flipper's strength
-Which side of the coin is facing which direction
-Weight of the coin
-Size of the coin

With these variables in mind, you can learn to read them to discern exactly which side of the coin will land facing up, all you need to do is recognize the factors and take them into account.

Hey, I remember you.
How about you stop complaining and start doing stuff? You have the opportunity to do so now after all.

Gandalf, when should I move to Japan?

what is your opinion on meme magick and kek?

Are aliens real?

adventure time roleplaying faggot

Weeaboo roach
Haha (take me with you please)

First of all this isn't politics related, and second, how can I go full insane without drugs? Can't get that last step.

How do I find the tangent plane to a multivariable function?

How does one start engaging and learning about such esoteric and occult things? What are some credible authors, books, or works to check out?

As a non-initiate, its difficult to parse out genuine articles from meme tier schizoid stuff.

Dude, go out and have some fun. Go to a bar this weekend, have a bit to drink, talk to some people.
If you can talk about your problems online reasonably, I'm sure you can at least make a bit of conversation. You only have one life so make the best of it, my friend!

Are nuclear weapons real?

lets say hypothetically I magic missiled someone once, am I going to face consequences for that?

How can I become a wizard?

>well cocaine is great.
a fucking wizard who enjoys cocaine, right on.

I've had the same issue before op Lol if you're that desperate go fuck a prostitute at the red light district Lmao

How do I follow the path of wizardry?

why i am so pathetic?

Now the only impression of our lovely OP Wizard that comes to mind is this.

When should I start studying.... The Blade?

I like to think of him as that wizard in the your highness who snorts grinds the fairy to dust and snorts it

1. I have met Kek prior to the events of this election, he's a cool dude and similar to if you mixed Yoda with Mitch Hedber. Meme Magic is very real, because of it ley lines are acting up, I'd say cool if off a bit, but knowing what happens when ley lines activate every time the MM gauge increases my erection throbs a more and more. Keep it up.

2. Traditions in magic are like different styles of martial arts, as such the most impressive wizards are like MMA Fighters. Although I do specialize in divination magic, but when I was younger I enjoyed magic that influenced animals, hence why I actually have 7 different familiars (whoops) and an exotic aquarium with more than a few magic fish.
3. All. Specifically non-fiction, but quality fiction works are wonderful, I personally enjoy good ol' fashioned SciFi
4. A wizard's diet is to each their own and depends on what school of magic you want to focus on, I specialize in divination so my diet is mostly junk food, but if you want to be an evoker/warmage/blaster type eat like a fitness freak.
5. Trump is likely to win, and not just because he too is a wizard. This could change, but right now it seems like he's going to be the next President of the United States.(which is good)
6. As a diviner I have studied every form of fortune telling, they all are pretty good, but WindReading is especially fun for localized prophecies. As for healing it depends on the wound, sickness/illness focus on potions and some of that chinese holistic shit, but for serious wounds you might need a focused healer. Hexes are a weak spot of mine.
7. I am unsure of what this question is asking due to potential typos and require more information to give you an answer.

This.
Pls tell us everything you know about the ayys

>With these variables in mind, you can learn to read them to discern exactly which side of the coin will land facing up, all you need to do is recognize the factors and take them into account.
I know, but it converges to 50% every time, can't be a coincidence. If every event is supposedly unrelated doesn't make much sense without a natural law.

What's the best way to pass an aptitude test for the Canadian army. Have a test coming up soon.

The board game OP's pic is from is quite frankly one of the best games ever in existence.

Fucking Brigands, how do they work?

That is all.

Carefully. I've traveled to many planes and they all kinda suck, but hell has a theme park in it if you enjoy roller coasters passing over burning lakes of nazis (sorry nazi-bros). I've also slipped through at least 7 different alternate realities (the mandela effect is real), my best recommendation for travel through planes and realities is vibration shunting, but finding the proper vibration to pass through your body to align you into such is difficult, it's different for everybody.

>He too is a wizard

Is he a powerful wizard? What kind of magic does he use?

Additionally, is Hillary a witch? Is she inhuman?

good and evil exists in magic? magic has a single element or many?

thank you, OP

yep, i had some typos in question 7

The question was

7.What are your views on nature of consciousness?

Have you been to the Berenstein universe? Is it better?

How does one achieve slipping his consiousness into different realities and dimension all while staying anchored in his current reality? I've been looking into this online but I'm not sure where to start. I want to explore the other versions of me and see if just as pathetic in the other ones.

you will suffer temporary magical contamination if you cast too often

I'm pretty sure he would prefer the Bloodstain universe.

If you are truly a wizard, have you beat wizardry IV and got the good ending?

You shouldn't, Japan is a relatively unsafe place due to potential events.

seeYes.

Magic and Politics go hand in hand, as a Diviner my foreknowledge can help with political campaigns.
To go insane without drugs submit yourself to total isolation, sensory deprivation, sleep deprivation and caloric deprivation. Although I do not recommend what you are doing.

You don't, specifically you, get used to it.

meme tier schizoid stuff is important, but read anything/everything you can and keep your mind in a quantum-reality state. All things are possible until they do not occur, that is magic thinking.

Very. I've visited a reality where the cold war went hot, M.A.D. is both terrifying and entrancing.

How the fuck do I resonate and take a peek to a parallel universe? How do I calibrate to a spesific one? Its important senpai

>You shouldn't, Japan is a relatively unsafe place due to potential events.
B-But my anime will survive, r-right?

Can you please magickally give me a gf or teach me how to do that? A Succubus would be nice too.

>succubus
Don't do this.

Also, in addition to my first questions, have you visited a reality where Ronald Reagan wasn't ever president, and who was president instead?

This. Making a lamia or slimegirl or something along those lines would be much, much better.

>succubus
shit dude one of those will drain your life energy almost as fast as a gf

Where/how did you learn magic
Is Crowley legit at all?

>You don't, specifically you, get used to it.
fuck you fake-ass wizard. i'm passing multivariable calculus no matter what.

>A high IQ score allowed the use of more varied and powerful spells, up to IQ 16
>up to IQ 16

Sounds like a simulation of the black experience to me.

Do you think it is likely that the Federal Reserve will be abolished and we can give the power of money creation back to Congress? Seems the Zionists will do anything to prevent this from happening.

I'm curious and I'm going to bite the bait.
I'm fairly new to this type of stuff, so forgive my ignorance: Are you a black magic Wizard? What type of Wizard are you? What can you do? How did you become one?

Hi, I'm seriously in a very very VERY tough time. I've pawned all I can and tried to even reach out to payday loans but was declined. I've prayed what I could but that's not working either.

All I have left is my car I live in and my laptop (the pawnshop said due to its age it's only worth 50 tops, so it's more valuable in my hands to search for more job opportunities).


I'm not asking for pity or a hand me out. I need a 1month loan or some kind of opportunity to get a quick financial support before this week is up. I will do whatever it takes at this point.

Please. my ex already took my daughter away from me and at this point I'm seriously considering watching the election results for one last bang and then killing myself.

I have nothing else.
Who do I have to sell my soul to, kill, rob, serve, etc to get back on my feet. please

What's my middle name?

depends on where you were when it happened and the laws regarding assault & battery.

Read. A lot. And work to understand everything you can, instead of simply know everything you can. Wizardry is not as much about knowledge as it is about comprehending. Also learn Latin.

Because you find yourself pathetic, admit your flaws AND your strengths (you have them) and adjust your lifestyle to account for both.

You should have already been studying it.

Most the ones on earth are like inbred hillbilly aliens, the ones on their homeworld are pretty tight, if you're worried about them abducting you keep a 6pack by your bed.

First slap yourself in the face, second start studying.

Trump is an Archmage actually, very powerful, I was lucky enough to study under him. He's a Universalist, so he's well versed in all types of magic.

Hillary is not a Wiccan Witch, but she does have use of magic obtained from her patronage to Moloch (fuck Moloch he's a total neckbeard)

Good and Evil does exist, necromantic magic is usually evil, but not always, really it depends on how you use your power (but creating undead is always evil, I can answer that if you want to know more)

Magic has a fuckload of elements, something like 472, the periodic table of elements is waaaaay behind our discoveries.

Consciousness is an illusion of the soul, your mind exists in 19 dimensions at the same time, but awareness/sentience is referred to as being "awake" (or woke af) in wizard circles, and that relates to being able to understand/comprehend the multiverse around you.

It's alright, way more jews though.

Astral Projection is dangerous, Physical transport is ideal, see

How about you just get a job?
literally any job.
I'm sure people are hiring seasonally at places like Lowes and Home Depot etc.
Or work in a restaurant.

Starts with a J.

Have you been to infinity chans /fringe/ board? Is it a good source of knowledge, or are they just fucking around? I started dabbling with the stuff (The Kybalion, and about a third of the way into IIH) but aside from the occasional Maxim, not much of it seemed to make much practical sense. On top of that, I'm Christian, so I don't want to me damned to hell for doing the wrong type of magic. What should I avoid?

Also, could you explain pic related? A French user came by a while back and basically said it was the philosophers stone and applied it to social settings, but he seemed to be saying it could be applied to more than that. Can you make any sense of it?

No wonder he's taken the internet by storm via Meme Magic.

Is Meme Magic something that we can all channel?

That's wizard the board game, not Dark Tower, which is where OP's pic is from.

Tell me charm/spell against demons please and what should or can I wear in order to protect myself. Which Symbol is the most powerfull. How do I protect my mind in Hyperspace or astral plane?

Is this you??

Here's the final version of it

Dammit!
Solid nigger joke wasted.

Thank you again

Hire me, I'm a professional wingman. You'll be grabbing them by the pussy in no time, guaranteed.

What should I do to improve my technical skill, reactions, strategy and reads in Super Smash Bros. Melee for the Nintendo Gamecube?
Trying to git gud.

Its my understanding the meme magic is powered by the ability of every individual to meme.

Basically, the more you meme, the more the world will shape to your ideal version of reality. Only the highest level of memers have ever achieved completely warping their reality into an ideal nirvana.

That's why collective meme energy is much more effective. See the current US election for proof.

Hey OP, thanks for hosting this thread.

Know anything about this site? forgottenlanguages-full.forgottenlanguages.org/

Have you seen it before and can you make sense of any of it? Is any of it true?

Literally Im already working 14 hour shifts at a car plant and dishwashing any weekends I can at the mom and pops place.

Doing everything I can already with my own strength and it's not enough.
Do you know any sites or connections with tit for tat dire solutions?

I'm a wizard. I think you are mistaken.

what if he means you have to be retarded to believe your spells are working

depends on the spell and how much magic is used, truthfully if you even linger around areas highly saturated in magical energy you'll experience mutations akin to irradiated areas.

Bruh I wish I had time for gaming, I was semi-pro in Titanfall when dealing with depression from a breakup, but now I have no time at all for games. It sucks.

take a look at how The Flash does it in the comics/tv show, they really aren't that far from how it works.

Yes, but Japan is going to be a dangerous place in 2017/2018 if current geological, geopolitical, and biological trends continue. If you're in Japan now and reading this, get out.

Well, you could study enchantment magic, but that's technically rape and that'll get you a Witch Hunter on your trail. Succubi are the worst, they're those "sluts and proud" feminists we have today, 0 out of 10 recommend, avoid at all costs.

Reagan is a temporal constant, he was preordained to be Pres.

Lamia's are like those vengeful cunts who break all your shit after a breakup. Slimegirls are just toxic people.

Crowley is anathema where I come from, I was trained all over, started in the Sequoias, but got my official status in Kazakhstan.

Good. Prove me wrong.

The Fed as you understand it now will cease to exist because it must, it is an unsustainable format, but the organization will continue without zionist control.

I wear Blue robes, but color coded magic is for MTG nerds, the term black magic is specific to necromancy. I'm a Diviner. I can tell the future, see beyond the veil, etc. I become a wizard through endless study.

All I'm saying is that your thread will probably get deleted soon.

>total isolation, sensory deprivation, sleep deprivation and caloric deprivation
Indeed, isolation did help a lot with it.
I am already quite insane, I just want to finish myself off and go into full madness or kill myself.

Also, what do you think about tulpas? Say hello to Alice!

>Lamia's are like those vengeful cunts who break all your shit after a breakup
So they're just as yandere as they're portrayed as in media then. Good thing I wouldn't break up with one of them then. In general, though, which would be the safest monster grill girlfriend you can aim for, relatively speaking of course?

ur not ur a burger

What is the transistor's true origin ?

Your answer made extremely curious into this stuff, anywhere or any book to read so I can start knowing about magic? I'm really intrigued, I'm not going to lie.

The Philosopher's Stone is contained within a secret chamber in the Pentagon, well not THE Pentagon, the lame earth one. But that isn't it.

as for /fringe/ go for it, so long as you keep knowledge in a quantum state in your mind no knowledge is bad knowledge, avoid confirmation bias at all costs.

You've all been channeling Meme Magic, it's got the Archmage Council terrified (which is great) and Archmage Trump growing in power. Keep it up if you want a Sorcerer King.

The best ward against demons is faith in God, but if you want protection keep a pinch of cathair in your pocket. The most powerful symbol currently is the # thanks to twitter (fucking twitter). Do not project your mind into the astral plane, it's not that great, it's super confusing, and you'll probably become a vegetable because you'll fuck it up.

No.

Meme Magic is as you describe, sort of, but the effects are cumulative. The amount of residual Meme Magic in the atmosphere right now is incredible. Spellstorm imminent.

It's incomplete, I'll tell you that much.

Everyone watch out, we got an Abjurer in the thread, whoop whoop (how's it goin?)

What's your opinion of this man (pic related)?