Hasbro Universe storytime - GI Joe First Strike and Wrath of Karza #5

>inb4 someone mentions the Sitterson Twitter bullshit
You don't give a shit about 9/11, dickheads, you're just looking for an excuse. I do think Sitterson's an asshole but that's neither here nor there.
It's gonna be a slow one, because my Gold Account ran out last week.

I've generally liked Sitterson's take on GI Joe, but his storytelling and decompression leave a lot to be desired. So you'll be glad to hear that this issue improves massively in that regard!

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Remember this guy? Astonishingly, Sitterson isn't the one who made him black. That was... Dixon? Or was it Max Brooks? I can't remember where he first appeared.

...Uh, spoilers for GI Joe #9.

This is a very silly issue. Hardcore Joe fans might hate how it portrays Shipwreck, but I love it.

Salvo a cute. I'd much rather have a musclechub waifu than a bald guy from Virginia.

Also: Gung-Ho, who was kicked out of the Village People for being too camp, is implied to be gay. Who would've guessed?

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Stop being a whiny little bitch and build yourself a rocket chair, Slam.

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This is not a crossover with Warhammer from Games Workshop...

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...nnnnnnnno...?

"Gung-Ho punches a truck across the street" is exactly what I want from GI Joe.

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I remember this preview page. Literally powered by stars and spangles.

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Ok fuck the haters this comic is fun as fuck

Glad you agree.

>the super thief is a nigger

What did IDW mean by this?

Wait I thought Tomax was the new CC.

But CC with tits.....

Ok I'll go along with it.

Nice.
To be continued in MASK: First Strike!

Is that the fucking Chaos sign?

The conclusion to Wrath of Karza! It's... fine.
Tomax was CC back in the Karen Traviss run. He never wanted the job, so the Baroness has taken it instead.
He's not a THIEF, dude. He's a SABOTEUR. Geez.

Yeah. But as in Moorcock, not 40k.

I still don't get why Scarlett didn't take Skywarp to Cybertron, he would have been helpful.

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"There are plenty of Transformers on Cybertron already, he'll be more useful on Earth if something comes up there"?

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Yeah he's getting on my nerves, besides if Rock hadn't shot him Grand Slam would have killed Rock.

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>MY BABIES

I'll leave the horsecock jokes to you guys.

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I knew it. I fucking knew it. "Ooooooh, they're gonna use Inhumanoids!" No. Its Cobra-La. It was never going to be Inhumanoids.

Know why? Because that would have been nice. Nice things don't happen.

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>Micronauts: Hearts of Steel
Also, Pirate Acroyear.

>thisisstupid.jpg
I like the bit where they turn into the original toys though

its utter shit, shill

Get out of my damn thread, Boco.

God, this dialogue is jarring. Why doesn't Johnston know how to use contractions?

It's perfectly ok butthurt GI Cunt

Cool beans!

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i honestly dont know any actual fan that likes this or even the main run anymore. even without the twitter drama people were going wtf at this book since issue 3

So go read you god Hama's book nobody is forcing you to read this, you already have what you want.

Define "actual fan". Are you talking about the humorless cunts on Hisstank who only care about Larry Hama and hate the cartoon for being "childish"?

Sitterson get out

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no thanks its shit too. i merely wanted to see what kind of tumblrinas were actually storytiming this pos

>not liking dogshit means you dont have a sense of humor
thats not how funny works

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Ok

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>no thanks its shit too

So you're one of those MAGA cunts that hates comics and hates GI Joe in general and just want to bitch about TEH JOOS TUBLURINUS and are using this as a scapegoat?

Good to know.

So, that was... fine. Anticlimatic, really.

Oh, and please don't acknowledge the Hisstanker guy any more, you'll only encourage him.

>was... Dixon? Or was it Max Brooks? I can't remember where he first appeared.

It was Brooks, in the Hearts & Minds miniseries.

If you were going to give Firefly a race-change, making him Japanese would have made it easier to carry over the Faceless Master backstory from the Marvel comics.

...Aubrey, is that you?
Go away, Aubrey. You're not making this a pleasant thread for anyone.

im one of those not even american cunts who grew up on gi joe cartoons and generally like the franchise but not the current runs on the comics. the crossover stuff looks fine tho

Cool. Did he ever show up in the Dixon stuff? I know that Mike Costa used him a couple of times.

>generally like the franchise
>likes the franchise
>doesn't sucks Hama's dicks

Is....is this allowed?

if you read hama when young you will forever suck his dick like xmen fans who read claremont when young will forever suck his dick and modern readers read morrison before their 20s and forever suck his dick in turn too. its the way of things

I agree, I enjoyed it.

Honestly I don't agree with what Aubrey says on twitter but anons bitched when people got up their pitchforks and started raging because Orson Scott Card was going to write Superman and a lot of them were saying how we should separate an author's work from their opinions.

But it's evident the older Joe fans were upset at Aubrey from the beginning and just wanted an excuse to take him out, and Aubrey getting triggered from his 9/11 PTSD and making a stupid tweet provided them for the perfect opportunity to do just that.

Pretty much this, although even the Hamafags are getting tired of HamaJoe because he killed Snake Eyes in the dumbest way and they hate the replacement, plus he's introducing a new Female Snake Eyes. Also that shit with the giant eye was dumb.

>Pretty much this, although even the Hamafags are getting tired of HamaJoe because he killed Snake Eyes in the dumbest way and they hate the replacement, plus he's introducing a new Female Snake Eyes.

If he introduces two more of them, does a Reign of the Snake Eyes storyline, and it turns out the real Snake Eyes was alive all along, and comes back with long hair, it will all work out OK.

True.

bump.

can someone post the links pls thx

Storm shadow already is the designated Japanese cobra ninja. Village people rules, you know.

You've gotta be fucking kidding. Getting into an internet slapfight with combat vets on 9/11 is going to attract cheap heat like a starscream monologue.

That said, this issue was OK, in a shameless toy commercial sort of way. I want a "Star spangled punching gung ho" doll now.

???

pls put the cbrs on a filehost kthx

but there was also the fact that Sitterson went in to fan groups and started conflicts and drama. I think the guy does a good job with Joe but personally he's kind of a ass.

Older joe fans are smothering Joe and when Hasbro has no choice but to bury Joe they'll get mad and say Hasbro didn't really care or tried to save it and go back to jacking it to memories of the 85 line up.

I'm pretty sure Hama is trying to get the book canned at this point. which to be honest. I'd be ok with. Maybe they could launch a "Disavowed"series with Baylock or Jerwa for a few years.

Thing is old Joe fan could've been rid of Sitterson fucking easily. All they had to do is control their autism, sent complains to Hasbro and he'd be gone. Hasbro is EXTREMELY protective towards ALL of their franchises because they dream of being a Disney 2.0 media empire. They don't want any drama and they were angry with Sitterson and if the Joe fans played it smart he would'be been done immediatelly.

But they couldn't control their autism, because they are the angry screaming type of autists so they kept screaming harder and harder until their screeching reached such levels that it caused a counter backlash defending Sitterson and pointing fingers to the Joe fandom where most normal people would look at them and going "holy shit these people are unwell they are just toy soldiers what the fuck". The Joe fandom has officially entered the cultural toxic shitpile right next to the Steven Universe fandom.

So now Hasbro is probably just going to sit down and wait until the Hasbroverse collapses on itself because NO BOOK is doing good because IDW's editorial is retarded.

As for the Joe after this shitfest the fandom pulled, and when taken into accounts that ltierally everything GI Joe related has been a financial bust for the past 20 years I don't think Hasbro has any incentive to do anything Joe related ever again. Frankly at this point I'm pretty sure that Hasbro only wants to do Transformers and Midget Horses.

>I'm pretty sure Hama is trying to get the book canned at this point. which to be honest. I'd be ok with.

He's doing some strange plots, but it's not like he can't just walk away if he's sick of it.

>Maybe they could launch a "Disavowed"series with Baylock or Jerwa for a few years.

The 2nd volume of the Devil's Due GI Joe ended in a way that left you wanting to know what happened next, but I'm not sure how much of an audience there would be for continuing it over a decade later.

>written by Aubrey Shitperson
GREEEERAAAAATTTTT

When is Trakker gonna lead the mission?!

Someone got paid to draw this?

I didn't know the bar was this low, I need to start sending portfolios.

That's one hell of a MASK-Cobra combiner.

>but it's not like he can't just walk away if he's sick of it.

IDW's GI Joe was cancelled 2 times with a third time on the horizon. They can't cancel RAH because then there would be NO Joe comics on the shelves and Hasbro would blow a gasket because they need their IPs to have any sort of presence in case Marvel decides to hawk in on them and stir shit (see Dire Wraiths/Circuitbreaker).

And despire what the Joe fans will tell you, RAH is selling just as bad as Sitterson's run, if Hama goes what little sales they have will hit zero and then it's all kill.


Have you SEEN the state of Marvel? This is great art in comparison!

I've loved his run, Plot development, Character Arcs, Monsters! honestly been in my top three comics for the last year. but his personal bullshit is starting to sour the whole thing for me.

there will always be a market for Joe just not what "they" want Joe to be. They want Joe to be basically 80's Call of Duty with none of the sci-fi or strange elements. the sooner they learn they arent the focus anymore the better. After how Transformers did I got a feeling that Joe is being eyed harder than ever put a Chinese guy on the team and you'll make billions
you'd be surprised how well the DDP's stuff has been received by the fans... "NOW!" of course I'm sure they are gonna milk Hama til he can't hold a pencil anymore.

Somewhat anticlimactic, yeah.

Karza's profile in the Hasbro Hero Sourcebook said he was part of the Council of Worlds, so I was hoping it'd indicate that he wouldn't be an enemy anymore.

What's RAH? Is the GI Joe comics numbered into the 200s that are storytimed?

it's not getting canned it's gettng a second volume surprisingly. of course after Sittersons sperg who knows?

Real American Hero. the Original Joe run that for better or worse has defined the brand for 30 years.

>there will always be a market for Joe

Well of course there is a market, and that market has been overtaken by Overwatch.

Seriously look at Overwatch. It's literally GI Joe. A team of wacky colourful gimmick characters that banded together to fight an evil mysterious robot uprising which may be connected with a terrorist organization. And there are ninjas, and weird looking people and talking monkeys that live on the moon. GI Joe is basically glory days Overwatch before the Gibraltar incident.

If Hasbro wants to bring back GI Joe it means saying "fuck Hama we want the Blizzard's shekels" and capitalizing on the weird bizzare aspects of the Joe.

Make Cobra the evil alien/primordial earth snake-men that live among humans and want to take over. Make GI Joe be a global organization made to fight them with high tech machines. If you're making a movie make China feel imporant by I dunno setting half of the movie in Shanhai or have one of the main Joes be a new recruit from the Chinese division who proves to MURRICA that CHINKS STRONK.

You need to make it big, dumb, over the top, stupid and suck the Chinese dicks and boom you're going to have a hit. Once the movie money keeps pouring in you can do shit to satisfy the fandom.

But this kind of take would make the hard core Joe fandom shit blood and release a cry that would crack the heavens so they will proceed to boycott EVERYTHING about it (like how they did with the Rise of Cobra movie toyline causing it to be a massive bomb and killing any interest Hasbro had in a Joe revival at that point) so I'm not sure if Hasbro can justify "this is going to make money, but also maybe cause the fandom to alahakbar our offices" to the shareholders

That's some Metal Slug shit.

Pretty sure you're going to need a GI Joe cartoon and videogames to be getting that audience and their money. A comic just can't reach that size of audience anymore.

The cartoon wouldn't need to be any crazier than the old Sunbow cartoon was.

I really don't understand why there haven't been games, though. After the early 1990s, there was nothing except some tie-in games for the Rise of Cobra movie.

Aubrey was stupid to say what he did but some people who experienced 9/11 got intense traumas. I knew a woman who got trapped in a building during 9/11 and she would get mad if you talked about 9/11 and you weren't there when it happened. It was stupid but I wasn't going to fucking argue with her.

Yeah but the Joefags were instigating him on twitter even before that shit happened.

Not saying Sitterson is on the right but the bullshit is from both sides. Although Aubrey should have been more professional since he represents a company.

Joefags are going to be mad anyway and at this point Hasbro's main concern is to find a way to revitalize the franchise. I mean if Marvel could make an outdated patriotic WWII rarara character relevant again, Hasbro can do the same. They just need to change the formula and have someone that knows what they want to do with the franchise.

GI Joe: Renegades was a good way to do it, but being in the HUB killed that cartoon.

If not then yeah abandoning is the best solution, which will suck because GI Joe does have some interesting characters.

>Hasbro would blow a gasket because they need their IPs to have any sort of presence in case Marvel decides to hawk in on them and stir shit (see Dire Wraiths/Circuitbreaker).

Didn't Hasbro want to trademark the Dire Wraiths but Marvel challenged them in court? And yeah a lot of the Marvel Comics have been wanting ROM to be with Marvel for years now (and in Marvel Studios James Gunn wants ROM and even said it could be possible to adapt the ROM Space Knight Marvel story with an OC Space Knight since they have Galador and their version of Space Knights and Dire Wraiths).

Pretty sure once Marvel gets a wind that Hasbro wants to put out a ROM movie they'll hit them with a cease and desist, and just block them until Hasbro is weak and forced to sell ROM.

Then Gunn can do his movie and Bendis can ruin him.

Yeah Na Bendis can go fuck himself, I'd rather Rom pal around with Snake-eyes and Optimus Prime than be given to that walking bad idea.

though it would be nice to get circuitbreaker in some way in the Hasbroverse.

yes I too back the Joe=Overwatch idea but really not that much needs to be done to joe for it to be relevent today. Joe is basically a millitary backed version of Shield Make Cobra in to hydra and drop the terrorist aspect.

Drop the Hardcore fans like a hot potato they were never going to support anything wasn't HAMA approved in the first place so forget about them.

>Overwatch is just GI Joe with SHIELD's backing.

My god that makes so much sense. And now I want a Joe/SHIELD/Overwatch team up.

>I really don't understand why there haven't been games, though.

Hasbro doesn't want to put money in video games because they are still run by ancient Jewish overlords who can't into 2017. Video games = skinnerbox smartphone app games to them.

There's also the problem of the three Transformers games underperforming and if their flagship title isn't doing going they don't want to risk it with Joe. Plus the market is overrun with fps games it's too late to try and cash-in on the Overwatch hero shooter hype and you can't really grab the CoD players.

An XCOM style GI Joe game tho? I'd play the fuck out of hat.

>Drop the Hardcore fans like a hot potato they were never going to support anything wasn't HAMA approved in the first place so forget about them.

They also tend to forget that the 80s Joes were a radical step from the 60s/70s Joe. Instead of getting these bigass dolls that represent real soldiers you suddenly get smallass figures of fictional characters? And you also have a team of BAD GUYS TOO? It was a risky gamble that payed off.

Altho I think (and I'm probably alone on this one) that renaming the brand would be a good idea honestly. I mean sure G.I. Joe is generic term for General Infantry but it's too culturally tied to the US Army and lets not kid ourselves there's a maaaasssive amounts of (somewhat justified) butthurt towards the US military and in todays economy unless you can get a world wide fanbase you franchise isn't going to matter. Maybe bring back the Action Force moniker? Like call it still G.I.Joe in finer print for copyright/trademark reason but have a bigger more catchy title for everything. Like, do Sigma 6 again only not retarded this time.

GI Joe: International Action Force?

The climate is too damn politicized these days. SJWs deconstruct every fucking movie, show, book, toy, game and rake the pieces with a fine tooth comb.

If GI Joe is to be brought back to prominence, it would have to be in an unapologetic "America Fuck Yeah" kind of way. The SJWs would lose their shit and cause a fuss, but the generation that loved it in the 80s would be cool with it and gift it to their kids.

Unfortunately, corporations are cowards by nature.

i want to read a series about the oktober guard upholding marxism-leninism-maoism and bringing freedom to the peoples of the world

>If GI Joe is to be brought back to prominence, it would have to be in an unapologetic "America Fuck Yeah" kind of way.

No that would only bury your precious franchise into oblivion never to be brough back again.

>Unfortunately, corporations are cowards by nature.

Corporations exists to make money, not indulgent your childish pissing games. Capitalism 101.

You are a text book example of the cancerous old GI Joe fanbase that is destroying the very thing you love.

i liked the part where the snake guy turned into a snake