If Disney would make more myth accurately(because Hades was bro) film who should be the villain instead of Hades?

If Disney would make more myth accurately(because Hades was bro) film who should be the villain instead of Hades?

Zeus and Hera must stay in their family-friendly image

Because choosing Hera as the villain would be too easy choice

If you want to be accurate you really need to use Hera.

But within your rules, Eris

Dreamworks Eris was actually a ripoff of Disney's Hades

Hera contracts out her spite to Hecate

I would love to use my knowledge of my own country's mythos here.

But fact is we did that shit in grade school and I forgot it.
But yeah Eris is a safe bet I'd say.

If Disney remade Hercules in live action, and you know they will eventually will, Hades would probably be working with the hidden true villain Hera who is mad at Hercules for being a bastard child and that his backstory on how he was born was all made up.

A fellow greek user!
Well, Eris works, but if you want to really get myth accurate but not follow the labors 100% here's what I do.
Herc wants to be a god (let's have him be depowered for different reasons than poison). To do that, he needs to be a great hero. So he travels and does heroic stuff, with the problem each time being caused by a god's dickery. Not villainy, dickery. Herc's journey is learning these stuff about the gods, realizing the decency in humanity, becoming good for good's sake and that ends up giving him divinity.

Greek gods are more petty, selfish uber-humans than outright
>mwahahahahaha, the world is mine
conquerors, so this is what I'd do.

Yeah, one neat thing about the pantheon was the fact they were all dicks in some way. Even the more benevolent ones. I'd imagine Herc along the way would run into one of Athena and Ares' many arguments leading into some old city state fighting.

Nyx (and her children) wish to take the throne of Olympus back from the Zeus crew. They wouldn't be villains who just want power, but think they can do a better job ruling over the cosmos and humanity, and aren't pleased with ruling over just primordial concepts on the sidelines.

This works since Zeus was scared shitless of Nyx and actively avoided pissing her off in mythology. Works as a breath of fresh air since you wouldn't be using Eris or Cronus as your big bad.

Echidna

She's quite literally the mother of all the best monsters in Greek mythology, and Hercules killed at least two of her kids.

Maybe her end game is getting that fucking mountain off of Typhon's head

But they're also dicks in a very human, petty way. Like, the problems could be
>poisoned fields because the farmer's daughter won't put out(apollo)
>daily raids by dryads because a hunter killed a holy deer, without knowing it's holly(artemis)
>stolen sheep for shits and giggles (hermes)

Fund it.

>Hades was a bro
Nah he just wasn't a petty bipolar cunt.

Hercs cousin I guess, maybe he'll be in cahoots with an evil God...Ares Why not?

he was the most bro out of all gods for sure

Eurystheus

but then it's hera again

have Typhon escape from his prison, he then goes and not only releases several of the Titans from their prison, he also breeds a new generation of Monsters with Echidna which Hercules will have to battle

>Eurystheus
have him be the act one antagonist, jealous of his cousin's strength and handsomeness, being directed to give the 12 Labors to Hercules by Hades(still played by James Woods, but here he's actually a good guy, he's preparing his nephew to fight Typhon because the Fates have shown him a prophecy that if Hercules isn't properly prepared, than not only Olympus will fall, so too will the Underworld, and this version of Hades actually likes his job)

Poseidon, easily. Guy's an asshole, all his kids are assholes, monsters, or both, and he's just generally a fucker and also a creepy rapist.

Eris just likes strife and discord.

I mean, that's kind of a bad thing when it's ongoing, but you can argue she serves a vital function as well, preventing things from becoming complacent and weak.

>hero struggles to defeat Eris
>thanks her at the end

She already appeared in the TV show. Very first episode, even. And they took the "mother of monsters" bit very literally in that she's a nag to her kids.

>those designs

...what?

I'm not even saying they're bad, but they're just...confusing.

Like what the fuck is Pegasus even? There's nothing even remotely horselike about it

And those Gorgons, I just don't even...

I never watched the show.

The premise didn't interest me at all.

> portrays her as a hideous monster
> mythological Echidna was described as attractive with a few monster parts
Why does no one understand this? Every other mythical monster girl either stays true or gets sexier, but Echidna is always turned into some sort of hag creature. Fucking lame.

Seconding this. It was good enough for Age of Mythology.

Wasn't Hecate neutral in the Titanomachy though?

Forgive my freedom, but I thought Greeks have directors-cut exclusive extended addition blue ray knowledge of Greek Mythology

My high school teacher was Greek and she knew all about that shit. Everything from Chaos to local legends about what became of the Trojan war heroes & their descendants.

Hell that upcoming Lord of the Rings game is even making Shelob sexy

>myth accurate
>hades was bro

Epitome of contrarian right here.

even his design would still work

Nice

I've always had a thing for spider women but I never thought I'd admit to wanting to fuck Shelob

>no beard
"no"

We do, for the most part. That user is just tired, give him a break.

Poseidon is more the villain of the Odyssey, sorta.

And of Athens in general.

They literally named their major hill (the Areopagus) after a trial where Ares stood accused of murdering a son of Poseidon. Because Poseidon's son attempted to rape Ares' daughter, and Ares wasn't having any of that shit.

Ares was aquitted. He's a remarkably protective parent to his kids.

Do you know the two possible versions why Aeropagus called Areopagus?

Well, not to versions, really, more like, two explanations why the rock is called that. One is the trial, yes. The other has to do with the origin of the rock. And it explains how it might have been named like this, already before the trial.

I'm aware of two. The first is the one where Ares stands trial for killing Halirrhothus in vengeance for attempting to rape his daughter, as I said.

The other version I'm aware of is the one where Orestes stands trial there for killing his mother (which normally means there'd be blood guilt and the continuation of the curse of the House of Atreus, for killing a family member, especially your own mother), where he's symbolically taking on the role and position of Ares because in killing Clytemnestra he enacted vengeance on his mother and invoked Ares in doing it as part of the myth (vengeance and justice being things Ares is a god of and is the person you call on for that sort of thing), and he's aquitted by the gods (specifically Athena casts the deciding vote).

Interesting. I wasn't aware of that. The one I'm aware, deals with the creation of the actual rock too.
Ares' jacking off to Aphrodite because she wouldn't put out (at first, at least) and his sperm froze and formed the rock.

Our high court might be named after godcum.
Very nice.

That's not unusual for Greek gods though. Albeit surprising Aphrodite not putting out for Ares, Athens usually paired them fairly closely, unless it was one of those periods where they were giving Thebes the middle finger (since Thebes put the two very solidly together all the time).

I mean, for example there's one myth, probably borrowed from Egypt, that has the Milky Way in the night sky as the result of Ouranos' leftover ejaculation from when he first fucked Gaia.

Or that sacred rock (possibly the omphalos at Delphi, but I think it was some other important rock/shrine/whatever) being the place where Zeus first fucked Hera, staining it with his seed, and later sending eagles from there to signal what he'd done.

Aphrodite eventually gave in, I'm sure, after all Homer has them as lovers while she's married to Haephestus. I just love the idea of my country's highest court being named from such a rock.

No, Homer has Hephaestus married to Charis, one of the Graces, they make a big deal of it when Thetis goes to see him in the Iliad. Hesiod married Hephaestus to a different Grace, I forget which, possibly a nymph.

Pindar very definitely married Ares and Aphrodite, along with Thebes, Sparta, Corinth, sometimes Athens, Thrace, and several others, including Pausanias and Herodotus.

The places where Hephaestus is married to Aphrodite is in that one story from the Odyssey and on Cyprus (because of the cult growth of a male-female pairing linked with beauty and metallurgy, which were co-opted into Hephaestus and Aphrodite). Maybe some others that I don't recall, admittedly, but it's kind of amusing that the two are married less than they are not, yet it's the former that gained prominence.

No he wasn't, he was grim, and unlikable. He just wasn't prone to have sex around with mortals, this is his only difference between the other gods.

If anything, he would be equivalent of the asshole sperg god.

>loyal to his wife
Let's be fair. Given what causes 99.9% of the problems in Greek mythology, this is a 100% admirable trait.

I don't recall if it's in Illiad or Odyssey, but Homer has Haephestus catching Ares and Aphrodite with a net when he found them fucking and then called the other gods to show them what happened and demand retribution. They joked around a lot (apollo and hermes discussed whether they'd fuck aphrodite if they were going to end up tied and agreed that indeed she's worth it) and then poseidon told haephestus to untie them, since they couldn't stay like this. Haephestus wanted monetary reparations and argued that if he untied ares, he might flee without paying to which poseidon replied that if he did that, he himself would pay haephestus and so he did untie them.

>turning the spider monster whose main goal is devouring life into a Seay woman for "lol fanservice"

I'M FUCKING MAD

She didn't seem as sinister. Chaos is more neutral morally. Plus she didn't have petty revenge motives. Just boredom. She seemed perfectly content to let the heroes get off (mostly) Scot-free when he pointed out her end of the bargain; she seemed to like Sinbad to a degree. Not to mention she had more power and her "titans" were actually killable by humans.

Also, what exactly would have happened if she got her hands on the book of peace? Was it just a metaphor, or did it have actual significance?

Yes, that's the Odyssey story. Happens in book 8, if I remember rightly.

The Iliad very explicitly names Charis as Hephaestus' wife. Shit, I have a copy of the Iliad right here:

>And while [Hephaestus] laboured at this with cunning skill, meanwhile there came near him the goddess, silver-footed Thetis. And Charis of the gleaming veil came forward and saw her: fair Charis, whom the famed god of the two lame legs had wedded. And she clasped her by the hand, and spoke, and addressed her: "Why, long-robed Thetis, have you come to our house, a revered and welcome guest? Before this you have not been used to come. But follow me inside, so that I may set hospitality before you."

And this ties nicely to the board's topic of comics and canon.
Both stories by the same author , yet different "canons", in one hephaestus is married to charis, in the other to aphrodite. And it's not like he has a "transition" story from one marriage to the other (or, okay, he might have and it could be lost, but I doubt it). He just wrote it once like this and then like that.
Why?
Because it served his story better.
storytelling>continuity.

Also, keep in mind that the framing device of the Odyssey story of Ares-Hephaestus-Aphrodite is meant to imply a theoretical absurdity that becomes a real danger. This is done in how the idea of a wife being disloyal while the husband is away is very much meant to, narratively, evoke a possibility in the mind of Odysseus for a parallel between Hephaestus-Aphrodite in the story with Odysseus-Penelope. It is also a "proven" parallel that is not only lambasted after Demodocus finishes the story, but later in the poem is categorically demonstrated to be blatantly false, because Penelope was never unfaithful.

Yes, the Hephaestus-Aphrodite story is designed to serve the needs of the poem at the time of the telling, like I said in there. It's not actually meant to be "real", shit, the reason Demodocus tells it is because his previous story was all misery and death and the listeners wanted something funny and absurd.

Disney should totally make an Odyssey movie. Just to see how they treat the suitors.

They had it coming.

Poseidon is a massive cunt asshole in most of the myths. Hera hated the fuck out of Heracles, too, but Disney decided they couldn't depict infidelity and a woman trying to murder or fuck over her husband's bastard child at every opportunity.

Poseidon has his moments.

>the virgin king
>the chad demigod

>hey guys, I was disrespected
>all the gods come to laugh
>Apollo loudly telling Hermes that he'd totally switch places with Ares because it means he'd be the one fucking Aphrodite
>Hephaestus demands compensation
>Poseidon promises it if he releases Ares, because he won't let Ares get away
>Hephaestus releases Ares
>Ares leaves unchallenged, probably with his dick swinging proudly like a third leg
>Poseidon doesn't bother paying compensation

Why was Poseidon such a cunt again? Wasn't it jealousy about how much people loved Zeus and how the ocean sucked, despite it teeming with all sorts of attractive things he stuck his dick into?

Poseidon gave his word that if Ares fled, he'd pay. Your word is a big deal in these stories.

Plus, Ares wouldn't dare leave like this and owe Poseidon. Do you know how the Odyssey starts? Homer asks for inspiration from the muse and begins. And what's the first part?
>uhm, alright fellow gods, now that poseidon is away on vacation, maybe we can discuss ending odysseus' torment.

The rest of the gods, zeus included, waited for poseidon to leave so they could discuss saving odysseus. They had to go behind his back, they didn't dare challenge him.

Power. He was pretty strong, so he could afford being one.
Or association with the sea, it's pretty capricious to everyone.

Poseidon is the textbook example of the shitty middle child, it's why there's the whole storms-at-sea deal being about Poseidon arguing with Zeus, because Zeus is top dog and Poseidon is eternally assblasted about it.

He was probably a manlet too.

If you want to make a more accurate Greek film and keep Zeus and Hera family-friendly, you run out of a lot of options

The book of peace seemed like a ward of some sort that kept monsters and general fuckery out of the twelve cities or some shit. If Eris has it as far as we know she gets free reign to do as she likes.