Okay ladies and gentlemen, how do we not blow up the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier?

Okay ladies and gentlemen, how do we not blow up the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier?

make two and name one "be ready to evacuate" and dont use the one named the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier?

Wait. I thought their whole purpose was to be blown up?

How about we blow it up before it gets blown up

Gee, Nick. I don't know. Maybe if we /didn't/ fucking hold criminals in here that have Goddamn super powers? Just an idea.

What if we load up the Helicarrier with lots of extremely powerful, unstable explosive materials that it can drop on anything that's about to blow it up?

Or - wait, I've got it. Why don't we intentionally sabotage the engines so the Helicarrier's flight path is shaky and unpredictable, making it harder for incoming fire to land?

Now that's thinking with your noggin Johnson. We're making you VP of marketing

Just stare at it real hard for a full minute. It'll come crashing down.

What if we take out the turbines and put it a body of water?
They'll never see a helicarrier in water coming at them.
I call it a "stealthcarrier."

Off-topic but what happened to Fury and the helicarrier after AoU?

He lives there now. It's stationed above a brothel in Texas.

I think they blow themselves up at this point.

Hi, um, Alex from Finance... I know this isn't my department, but do we have to... you know, make them fly?

Wow, you know what doesn't immediately drop 40,000 feet when disabled? A fucking boat. We have Quinjets. Why do we need their carrier to be already flying? Who the fuck designed this shit? Why did we keep going after the first couple hundred?

we put it in orbit.

Helicarriers need to be able to fight back.
I say we make them Transformers.

Maybe you should, I dunno, make it into something that naturally floats instead of powered by four big stupid fans that constantly have to stay running in order for it to fly? Like a Zeppelin?

I got you senpai.

Marvel has a Watchtower?

What if we pre-emptively blow it up so that there isn't anything left to blow up?

...

give them something else to blow up

That would be worth it just to see Disney's lawyers obliterate Harmony Gold when they try to sue.

Duct tape a bunch of brown people to the outside of it.

idk man. Japanese can be legally smart when it comes to stealing