Predict the plot

Predict the plot

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rey saves everyone

rey kills everyone

rey wins

rey fucks everyone

Rey is cute

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I don't know but it should be solved with a light speed ram.

Rey dies everyone cries the end.

no

Actually kind of hard.
Obvious choice would be a Jedi retread but then the 1st order is gone & they need to pump out a mainline movie every 2 years for the rest of time. Ridley is out ater ep9 though so probably they'll kill off Driver too. Hux is a giant cuck and couldn't carry main villain by himself so they'll need to set up a replacement.
Jj is kind of back to square one except for Reylo, fuck but did Rian drive this franchise into the dirt.

JJ is running it again right?
>Knights of whatever come back
>Rey does a thing
>Leia killed offscreen.
>Finn forgets everything he learned in the last two movies.
>Chink thrown out airlock.
>Luke force ghost does a thing
>Explosions.
>Reminder that you're a racist.
>The end.

Kylo turns good, but he dies

JJ aimed the nose right at the dirt, don't blame Rian for flying right into it

i believe that she will win.

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rey gains a penis and ascends into godhood

all worship her and all white men kill themselves in disgrace for not being any other color

all women dye their hair in honor of rey

fat chinese girl gives birth to reys final form

It's unsatisfying and ultimately a waste of time but not as bad as TLJ

It’s a repeat of Rotj, the resistance will have a massive fleet again and fight to destroy the starkiller base 2.

Three simple words: Ewok Jedi Apocalypse

I don't care

Obviously

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>Episode IX: An Old Despair
Finn decides to search for Rey. Meanwhile, the galaxy is in disorder, following a power vacuum left by the death of Snoke. The remaining resistance fighters have no other choice but to either side with General Hux or Kylo Ren, however, there is a sign of hope in the galaxy. On Canto Bight, a young slave draws the attention of several force sensitive people and try to persuade him to their sides.

>Leia dies in the opening crawl
>Open with Leia's funeral
>Rey talks to Luke's ghost
>Yoda/Obi Wan Camo
>The Resistance finds out about a First Order super weapon
>If they don't strike now it'll destroy the resistance
>Rey takes an apprentice but leaves to fight/redeem Kylo
>Resistance attacks in a desperate raid while Rey faces Kylo
>The Resistance is losing, the only chance is to kill the leaders of the first order
>Kylo and Rey fight and argue over ideology
>Kylo is wins the fight and is about kill Rey, but Rey wins the argument
>Kylo stays his hand, orders his forces to stand down
>Hux throws a tantrum, goes to kill Rey and Kylo (Orbital strike we see some cool force stuff here)
>Rey is killed, Kylo kills Hux but is crippled
>Kylo returns her body to the resistance
>After meditation (Force ghost council we see Leia and Rey here) Kylo agrees to train Rey's apprentice

Didn't know that Hux is the force god himself. But anyway it will have a happy end most likely, first its a Disney movie second this would be the first SW trilogy with a real happy end.

The patriarchy dies and Stronk Womyn rule the Galaxy.

Fuck Star Wars.

Probably something stupid with all the dumb characters nobody likes.

Like Daisy has to blow up three bigger death stars while Poe and Rose have to go to a desert planet to steal some stupid macguffin. That's the plot.

This reasoning pisses me off.

> Abrams makes a movie so safe it retreads the plots of not one but two of the original series
> steal the plot of an expanded universe storyline for good measure
> answer no questions, introduce a bunch of plot threads so vague they could go anywhere
> go so far as to walk back the death of a character (Poe) just so he could be used in further movies

For fuck's sake, these were the plot threads:

1. Who is Snoke? What's his endgame?
2. Why did Ben turn to the Dark Side?
3. Who are Rey's parents? Why was she on Jakku?
4. Why is Rey so strong in the Force?
5. What is Leia going to do now that Han is dead and her son is apparently irredeemable?
6. What was Luke doing on that planet?
7. What is the First Temple of the Jedi and why is it so important?
8. After the First Order destroyed the Republic capital, what comes next?
9. Who are the Knights of Ren?
10. Is Luke going to return to help bring about a new order of Jedi?

Rian's answer:

1. Fuck if I care.
2. Luke thought he sensed Baby Hitler in him.
3. Nobodies.
4. No reason.
5. Nothing.
6. Nothing.
7. Who cares?
8. They win.
9. Knights of who, now?
10. Nope.

"Aimed at the dirt" my ass. If it weren't for the fact that every plot thread in TFA had been deliberately cut off, it's like Johnson didn't even see the last movie. Fuck you and fuck him.

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No, obviously another death star would be the patrician choice.

I meant that like maybe Hux will order a ship to blow up Rey and Kylos position and either Rey or Kylo will form a protective force barrier while the other force pulls a ship out of orbit. You know some power we've seen before but turned up to 11 for the finally

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>lorefag crying his headcanon got shot down

never gets old

>rey destroys the knights of ren
>kylo ren becomes good
>the galax is safe and full of strong women

then in the end they try to make something for the sequel

Claudia Grey wrote 3 books dedicated to these "headcanons". All worthless too now. Seems like nobody knows what they're doing at Lucasfilms these days.

>Opening is Leia funeral
>Baddies have another superweapon
>Rey parents are someone big
>Snoke is alive, some Snoke backstory
>Poe blow up things in his X-Wing again
>Rey is even more Marey Sue
>Rey beats Kylo once again, turning him to light side
In short, JJ retconing everything and ignoring the shit Rian did.

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I don't like my time being wasted.

If someone tells me a story for two hours, and hands it off to someone else, who tells his own two and a half hour story, I expect to have had some progress or some kind of catharsis by the end of it.

If by the end of the second movie we might as well not have started the first, it pisses me off because my time has been wasted.

Ray dies to balance the force, which brings kylo to the light.
Fin, somehow cucks himself with jar jar chinks in subplot

JJ and Rian both fucked up, but JJ fucked up worse.

Star Wars could have gone in a completely different direction. This new trilogy could have been about... fuck, I don't know, a corrupt politician drafting citizens to fight a war nobody wants to participate in for monetary reasons, or it could have been about a political divide causing a civil war, or it could have been about several separate kingdoms trying to achieve unity, or it could have been a vague allegory for any number of wars fought throughout human history.

Instead JJ chose "another Empire, with another Death Star, with another Darth Vader, and another Rebel Army, all doing the same thing as before, even though it really doesn't make any sense at all." JJ doomed this new trilogy by setting all three films up as: "World War II: Again"

sounds about right.

They could have gone anywhere with the story after TFA.

I mean it. They could have had the New Republic military regroup and have a fairly even conventional war. They could have written the First Order as fleeing some greater threat in the Unknown Regions or outside the galaxy and set up some greater villain to be resolved in the final movie.

Fuck, they could have even had a time skip between the first and second movies and picked up with Rey as a Jedi Knight doing detective work with her master Luke, while the First Order is little more than terrorists trying to hunt them down. They could even have switched POV and made Kylo Ren the main character, following a completely different story from Finn and Rey's as he tries to reconcile his feelings towards the Light with the fact that he murdered his father in cold blood.

Anything was possible. And instead we got a retread of Empire that somehow manages to excise the heart of Star Wars morality, ruin pre-existing characters and waste my fucking time.

shit, as usual for a shit franchise

Actual prediction
>opening crawl says Leia's dead, Poe has taken over and the rebellion has regrouped, collecting some more randoms sympathetic to them
>FO still doing the same shit, but they made it blatently obvious Kylo's an incompetent leader and Hux is planning a coup
>Rey takes the Jedi books and decides her job is to be the greatest Jedi ever. May get visited by forceghost Luke
>space battle shit
>Kylo is ousted and loses his shit, he fucks off to find the knights of ren and become greatest sith ever. May get visited by forceghost Luke or someone else.
>space battle shit climax, FO vs. rebellion
>Kylo pops up and dies saving Rey
>Rose dies saving Finn
>Rey goes super jedi master on Hux and defeats the FO
>Rey's visited by forceghost Luke, Leia, Ben Solo, Yoda, Anakin, whatever
>Rey and Finn share a tepid kiss, Poe quips with BB8, massive party

I'll post my insane prediction in a second.

Time Travel, they make the last jedi non canon and recon most of the new films

JUST prediction
>first half hour devoted to Leia's funeral, Poe and Finn quip throughout
>Rey is already super jedi, shows her doing flips and shit. Is visited by Luke and Yoda right off the bat
>FO - Kylo and Hux have an atrocious catfight that ends with both in tears and Kylo forcechoking Hux to death. Kylo assumes total control of FO with Sith eyes and prepares a superweapon the size of a sun
>Snoke visits him as a force ghost and tells him it was his plan all along to be killed
>at the rebellion there's disagreements over what the fuck they should do, to 'build tension'. There's a retarded love triangle with Rose, Finn and Rey to add some more drama and comedy
>Rey learns the art of time travel, or some other insane power, from the jedi books. Uses it to travel to both prequel and OT eras to learn 'her place in all this'
>Kylo learns some equally retarded shit from Snoke just because, but is visited by forceghost Anakin at the same time. Anakin and Snoke fight over Kylo's shoulder. He learns nothing from the experience except becoming even more emotional and 'conflicted'
>Poe has a eureka moment figuring out how to destroy the superweapon - it's not solved by an Xwing
>final battle, FO's destroyed. Rey fucks Kylo's shit up and cuts off his arm but spares him
>Rose watches over Kylo in a medical bay, says some shit in the same vein of 'we don't win by destsroying what we hate etc.' to parellel his 'kill the past' philosophy and turns him
>Rose and Kylo end up together and Rey and Finn end up together, they all appear to barely conceal their disgust
>cue massive party

Shit

What i want
>Kylo is right, and first order basically becomes a constitutional monarchy with Kylo as emperor and Hux as head of military
>Resistance nothing more than a terrorist faction, using lightspeed rams as a form of terror
>Poe, and Finn get into arguments over what the resistance has become, with Poe constantly dropping the fact that Finn is an ex-First Order solider
>Rose is dead
>Rey is weaker as she is suppressing her powers in order to fit the jedi code
>Kylo is as powerful as Rey was now fully rejecting blind obedience to the light/dark paradigm, and is now thinking about expanding the empire out to new galaxies
>Knights of Ren return as the new Jedi Order, except they act more like the idealized Crusader knights

What is going to happen
>Resistance is at full power despite losing everything
>First Order is on the verge of collapse because Kylo wants to kill all the resistance but save Rey and Hux just wants them all dead
>Final battle Kylo and Rey have a fight where Kylo gets the better of Rey
>In a second, a battle-scared Hux draws a blaster in order to betray Kylo
>Rey sees this, and slow-mo jumps in front of Kylo to take the hit
>Kylo is enraged, kills Hux and consoles dying Rey
>Kylo and Rey say some romantic things to each other
>Kylo says "I....I love you"
>Rey says ".......I know" and dies

Rian is worse. Both are dogshit

It could have worked. The original trilogy didn't dwell on the details of the Rebels vs. Empire conflict at the end of the day. That was the backdrop. In ANH you have the brief intro with Leia's ship, then you have the final act with the assault on the Death Star. In ESB, once the Rebels escape Hoth you literally don't see the military again until the last scene (and then only the ships in the fleet). ROTJ is the only film that really has more than one act of the movie dedicated to rebel military activities, and that one is the final climactic battle of the whole thing.

Meanwhile, nearly the entire running time of TLJ is centered on the military operations of the Resistance fleet fleeing the First Order, which shines a gigantic spotlight on the shallow carelessness of the new war and political context. Rian did not have to make that the central conflict and plot of his movie.

A Rey and Luke timeskip probably would have helped a great deal.

what you want sounds really interesting.

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I tried to fit what I would like to beleive episode 8 was about. sadly it seems like Kylo's interesting and actually subversive speech to Rey about how they can start over without the jedi or the sith is being being put by Disney in the same room as the "Luke i am your father" speech, which makes no sense at all.

>Rose and Kylo end up together and Rey and Finn end up together, they all appear to barely conceal their disgust

Reminds me of the end of Cosi fan tutte. Would be great if Episode 9 were like Cosi in space. Use the title crawl to set it up: Kylo and Rey are a happy new couple, as are Rose and Finn. But cynical ghost Luke is skeptical...

Who the fuck knows. Why they are letting a different person write each movie is beyond me. It clearly failed hard. It's like they fuck it up and Disney writers who haven't even seen the other movies fills in the gaps with horseshit

If they're smart, Rey will get captured and sodomized by the only good character in recent years.

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>4th death star explodes