Whats the conspiracy with urinals...

Whats the conspiracy with urinals? How come it's socially accepted to piss next to another guy and if you don't feel comfortable doing it, you're considered a fag? Are ((they)) trying to make us gay by pissing next to other dudes?

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Only a thread an aussie would make

me on the left

Nice pubes.

>they]
>they
>they
Who is this global mastermind named 'they'?

are you gay user? i've never thought about this in my life mostly because i'm comfortable with my sexuality. you sound repressed

OP is a raging homo

it's literally sexist that women get to have nothing but stalls while we get 1/2 urinals and then a couple of leftover stalls.

Probably to save money famalam

>when coworkers try to strike a conversation at the urinal and you piss on your own shoes

Isn't pissing in a public urinal one of the things only men can do together?
>cue feminists trying to start #UrinalGate

>tfw always get an erection when peeing standing up, doesn't matter where if at home or in a stall.


why

nothing gay about flopping out your meat with the lads

It's one of these subtle subconscious ways the government mass manipulate and convert people getting the GAY

>repressed

either he was touched as a boy in a truck stop bathroom

or he got caught meatgazing one time and got decked.

Honestly I've been sitting down to piss since my mid-30's.

Not because I am shy or anything, I just get wicked whiskey shits and it's this kind of sludgey ooze and it never fully comes out so I double up when I spend time in the can, and try to work some of it out.

When I was at school I was pissing next to "the cool guy" and I said something to him and looked over and he was looking at my cock and he awkwardly snapped his head back towards his cock.

I never told anyone or made fun of him but he was really nice to me from that day forward.

dad?

See, this is the kind of thread I want to see at 4am.

OP you're an Aussie, isn't that shit annoying when you're at the troff in the bar toilets and you're worried about the drunk next to you getting your leg?

call it irrational fear but I hate that shit.

Wait what? Is this how it's done in the former desert penal colony full of animals that want to kill you that people are insane enough to live in called Australia? In America we have a one urinal gap rule, if there are three urinals, you do not use the middle one, it does not exist until three men need to piss at once. You use the left or right urinal so another man can use the other.

No, there's no conspiracy, this time it's actually just you that has a problem. don't be sad though just tell the other boys you're a grower not a shower
:^)

...

It means you're intimidated pissing next to other males. Making you a beta. Man up. Pull your dick out and take a piss like an alpha.

dude go to the doctor for fuck sake its free there

Saves space, probably uses less water than toilets.

>mfw I get stage fright
>there is no urine coming out and they all know it

why did i even come in here if i didn't need to pee

Yes. Faggots love to shame men that don't want to piss around them, and routinely insist that all men gay or straight love checking out other men at the urinal. Faggots are disgusting liars and should be burned at the stake

> feel comfortable doing it
> comfortable

youtube.com/watch?v=SrFRzoh31RE

>you will never piss with your pants all the way down like OG pepe

Underage and b&

When your old enough to go out to nightclubs you'll see multiple people sharing urinals and 3 people at a time pissing in the hand basin.

Nobody gives a fuck, numale

No. FUCK THAT. Piss right on the other males. It's the only way to show that you are a true ALPHA.

I've just given up fighting it and go in stalls now. I'm in and out of there faster than if I tried unsuccessfully to piss with nothing coming out.

THIS

Sup Forums, how to I overcome being piss shy?

the jews

>walk into bathroom
>it's empty
>go to left-most urinal
>about to release
>*creek*
>another guy comes in
>goes to the urinal next to me
>stand awkwardly dick in my hand

RULE 1....
youtube.com/watch?v=L220PFMkunI

>tfw you fap into one while people are around

anybody else remember that TI-83 game about urinal etiquette?

>ID

Kek

THE NOES KNOWS!

OH NOES!

Nice KKK ID

I have a big sausage but I still get stage fright when pissing with other dudes. I can just about manage if someone comes along once I've started, but going for the spare inbetween 2 other people? Not a fucking chance.

I always go into a stall, I IWBC 90% of the time and also 5.11 belts are PITA to loosen and tighten, you almost always ending rubbing shoulders with some cunt.

Ehh I always use the most left/right stall.

Never had someone take the urinal right next to me, people always choose one that doesn't have anyone next to it.

Except for one case, when I was drivning through Germany and needed to piss at the gas station.

Some German dude decides to use the urinal right next to mine when all others were free.

I've heard germans are pretty fucked in the head when it comes to toilet use so idk maybe it is normal there

Gaze upon the true Alpha of alphas
youtu.be/bybmhr8REkM

Take notice of that urge that you really have to piss before you enter the restroom.
Keep focused on the urge to piss while you walk up to the urinal.
Don't worry about who's judging you, just focus and harness on that urge like you might piss your pants if you don't pull it out and piss right now.
Before you know it you'll do it like second nature

I never use urinals because splashback. I have a very healthy prostate and powerful urine flow.

>Sit down to piss
>Feel like I piss far more
>Don't have to worry about magic bullet piss vectoring off into 6 dimensions

People who lack confidence cannot urinate at a urinal. It's as simple as that.

Get some confidence, faggot.

Pro-tip while we're all on the subject:

There's NEVER a reason to be "middle urinal guy" when the option exists to NOT be "middle urinal guy".

There's this assfuck at work who insists on using the middle urinal even when there's no one around, which forces you to piss directly next to him whichever side you choose.

I'd truly love to beat him to death with a baseball bat.

>Whats the conspiracy with urinals?
Hot, huh?
>How come it's socially accepted to piss next to another guy and if you don't feel comfortable doing it, you're considered a fag?
Yes
>Are ((they)) trying to make us gay by pissing next to other dudes?
Is it working?

Am I the only one who pees in the sink? They're always open and no one else using them

>college borders a somewhat sketchy neighborhood
>have night classes
>always go for the stall because I know some fucker can't just come up from behind and shank me

If you feel like your sexuality is jeopardised by sight of other men's body parts then you're a fag in denial. If you were in the army with me, id whip you with a towel until you admitted it.

Why is everything a conspiracy nowadays

This goes back to differences between our and our parents' generation.

50+ years ago it was normal to whip your cock out among male peers.

You still see old men at the gym getting undressed in full sight of one another, no shame, walking around totally naked for minutes on end. It doesn't happen for anyone younger than about 60.

If you went into public toilets with your old man and he taught you how to piss at a urinal and not give a fuck, I imagine it would be easy. I can't ever remember this happening and I've always felt awkward about it. I get stage fright and nothing comes out if someone's right next to me. Unless I'm drunk.

A real man doesn't give a fuck.
This thread is an embarrassment.
What would your grandfather say?