Crossed - Badlands #91-92: Storytime of Pain

In this two issue story, Max Bemis showcases his hatred for male comic book audience.

Enjoy, but be wary for some gore if you're at work.

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I liked Bemis' Foolkiller and I'm hopeful for his Moon Knight but I can't think of a single writer who's best work is theit Crossed stuff

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All writers are better when they aren't forced to write around gimmicks. I love Stray Bullets but Lapham's Crossed were trash.

How the hell is something like crossed anti man

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subtle jab at the comic industry? I can barely tell.

I'm getting some strange errors about detecting malicious code in image files, don't know what's that about.

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Nothing to worry about, just some weird error message, had to reconvert the file to png and back to jpg to work. Anyone encountered anything like this?

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This mini-arc is very obvious about it's message.

Crossed is terrible because Ennis pretends he's written a universe where the survivor/prepper nut finally gets shown up, then the universe needs to be carried by writer feints anyway.
Then it gets loaned to even worse writers.
Not saying the series is all shit, it just mostly is and the pretentions that this is REAL apocalypse is stupid. The amount of times crossed teleport across an open field as if a machine gun can only shoot one or two is ridiculous.

And most problems in crossed can be avoided by wearing a rain-coat. Seriously, why does nobody cover up in this setting.

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>just mostly is and the pretentions that this is REAL apocalypse is stupid
I think this is more realistic apocalypse scenario than zombie apocalypse.

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Realistic in terms of anyone who acts noble dies because that's the universe we are writing. Which is unrealistic. One of the best Crossed stories is when the usual unlikable psychopath bumping off people in his survivors group because he's a misanthropic asshole weeding out the 'weak', gets everything thrown back in his face as the teamwork and self-sacrifice he scorned is the difference between them living and him being fucked in the ass.

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Oh, I'm not saying that writing is good or anything, just that the virus stripping human beings of boundaries is more realistic than the one that makes corpses walk.

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>Doesn't stick to the agreement herself and is two days past the deadline
>making excuses and insults the dude when he's armed with a weapon.

How did she expect to get away scot free with being a bitch?

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Fair enough, but I will never understand Ennis's motivation. Or at least I'm not convinced he pulled it off. He's a Military History nut allegedly, yet he like so many other writers has to seriously neuter a modern military in order to make a story work.
Someone should invite /k/ to come witness the absolute retardation found in a crossed storytime, like open fields not being killing fields for knife wielding idiots meeting the Maxim gun.

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What have they been eating this whole time?
Why is one of them still clean-shaven, have they running water and still decent razorblades?
I know I'm overthinking the worst issue of a gore comic, but it's more fun than reading the stupid thing

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Stitched actually looks pretty cool. Hulking skin monsters amassing flesh over time.

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I think the implication is that they are making runs for food.

These geeks?
k

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Nerds BTFO

>Ennis's motivation.

Hate of his audience and himself for depending on them to put bread on the table.

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>I will never understand Ennis's motivation
I doubt he treats it as more than fun idea of over the top edge.

In an interview he said he wanted to throw apocalypse preppers a curve-ball or humble pie or something. But so fucking many Crossed stories rely on everyone acting like parodies of people or retarded, often both. Writer-feint is fucking real.

wew

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>getting a moral lecture from Crossed
Bemis suck my Penis

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Remember when /aco/ was where NSFW storytimes were supposed to go, but then it just became /d/ -Sup Forums edition?

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I never really cottoned onto that.
Even when Crossed +100 was still running I'd just put black boxes rather than go there.

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And you are better for that, mods will delete those threads claiming it's guro.

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I remember that was the ORIGINAL plan

But nope /d/ mods started dumping pretty much everything into /aco/

I mean mods on /aco/ unless they calmed down.

In their defense, it is. +100 is pretty tame by psychopath standards but still.
They would be better off saying Crossed is too shit for a porn board.

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I actually consider these issues to be a parody of itself. Comics, by now, are not their own thing anymore. Just an empty shell artists and writers cram their ideology in to cater to their followers in order to give them what they cry for and be left alone.

It just felt very self-destructive.
There's a fanbase here on Sup Forums, why likely disrupt that by switching suddenly to /aco/?

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Yes. All the time. It's nothing big.

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This goes beyond mspaint strawman comic tier screeching

The End
Thanks for reading fellow bigots

Because they're both on the same website you imbecile. You can visit any fucking board you want.

This is now a thread dedicated to a more fun what-if? scenario
>full body suit so no easy infection
>grasshopper shenanigans so unclear if it would even work
>ultimate justice
>beat up bomb queen
>RIDER KICK
How would he fare in Crossed Universe?

Would a hug from Mr Rogers cure a Crossed infection?

I forget, but it depends on the level of Stronger's physical enhancements. Wonder how, or if, he could be infected.

>that final fuck you reader in the last panel
They knew exactly what they were doing

>Kills the guy who partly helps in taking down the gun wielding maniac.

I know he raped her and all, but she could've at the very least spared him. He truly did want to help her after all. Not only that, but wouldn't she want him around to help with any potential Crossed she'll face? Enemy of my enemy sorta thing? Hell, how is she gonna survive on her own when we all know she has little to no survival skills?

Also:

>You're my hero

What...? She barely did anything. She killed a clueless fat bastard, the crazy guy shot one of his own, and then got taken down by the gay guy who let her kill him. Then she executed mohawkbro who truly did want to help her.

How is she a hero?

>the worst Badlands arc
It's almost a compliment. But it isn't.

So now that the worst crossed story is over, what's everyone's favorite? I really liked the biker and the beatnik, and the psychopath stories were fun.

I think I liked the first one by Ennis the best.

>what are they doing
>oh no, they are jerking off on the bullets
scene made me kek. That blind crossed felt a bit too mad-maxey but arc in itself was fine.

>How is she a hero?
She has to be a hero, it's a power fantasy made as a present for Bemis' friends from the industry.

Badlands 1-3.
It's a very tight little story.

Smokey is my crossed husbando.

Thanks for your effort OP but this is one of the worst Crossed stories by far. Simply based on being the only crossed story that is NOT about crossed.

Anything with Raulo Caceres on art.

Calm down, autismo.

If this triggers you kys

But during that mods on Sup Forums and /aco/ would autoban Crossed, and even if you don't like Crossed that's still a shit thing to do.

I storytimed it not because it was a good Crossed story, but because some people enjoy storytimes of pain and this one was good material for it. Besides, it's probably lowest on nudity and gore arc, don't think better ones are as suitable for storytime on Sup Forums as this one .

To be fair, everytime crossed is posted is is literally just this story. Over and over again.

well that was boring

Smokey is a bro

I totally forgot there was an /aco/ Is that where all of the Crossed storytimes went? God the SFW/NSFW shit is nonsense. If you're on Sup Forums on your job, that should be YOUR FAULT.

I'm looking forward to his Moon Knight too, as long as it doesn't take itself too seriously. Between this and Evil Empire, Bemis has shown he can't do "gritty" without seeming like a parody.

but stuff like Foolkiller, Killstrike, Worst X-Man Ever, and Polarity were all solid works.

It's offhandedly mentioned that the shop is connected to a supermarket or something.

But it's just one of those things you aren't supposed to think too hard about.

Reminder that this story is set in 2008.