What would Superman do if Lex Luthor made a device protected by kryptonite that was going to blow up the entire planet...

What would Superman do if Lex Luthor made a device protected by kryptonite that was going to blow up the entire planet, and the only way to shut it off is to rape a little kid?

>the only way to shut it off is to rape a little kid?

How does that work? Does he need sexual noises of his child and himself?

Call Batman. Have him rape the kid.

Please, Batman can't even rape the joker.

Ignore the Kryptonite and smash the device.

If Batman had to choose between raping a child and the Joker, who do you think he would rape?

Ignore it and save the day because Kryptonite's effect on him constantly changes.

But there's so much kryptonite that he'd die before he gets to the device. Like 1000 miles of it or something. And even if he does destroy the device, it would have a failsafe and blow up the planet anyways.

Kryptonite isn't indestructible. Clark would probably almost kill himself trying to break through and then like the common people of Metropolis or whatever would all swarm and carry his poisoned body away while they start hammering at the device. Because at the end of the day his greatest power isn't the muscles it's the hope.

This is exactly what would happen.
Batman would be the one to say it to really hammer it into our skulls again

Destroy the Kryptonite from long-range, and then the machine. You only mentioned how it could be shut off, after all.

Lex gets his teeth punched in.

Is Ross still salty at DC for some retarded reason?

He recently did a shadows series for DC along with Marvel. So, I guess not. Seems like he's not doing covers for them outside of Astro City, but I can guarantee he'll be doing an Action Comics #1000 cover.

He'd rape the kid, he respects and loves The Joker too much to violate him.

There’s always a way.

...into that child's anus

...

Gordon pls

>There’s always a way.

Morally, there is always a way. But, don't you dare say that 2+2 = fish.

Kryptonian. I have dispatched one of my mentally-linked Solar Aggressors to your planet's sun, with it arriving 2.3 seconds prior to the beginning of this conversation. With a thought, I can erase your primitive world, just like Krypton. I will only call off the Aggressor and avert Earth's destruction if you sexually violate the one called "Joker"; I am curious about the effects of Kryptonian reproductive organs on chemically-altered human samples. You have one minute to comply.

Couldn't he be able to destroy kryptonite with his heat vision?

Why would the smartest being in the universe want someone raped?

So he can record how he reacts to the demand along with the psychological leaps he would do to avoid hurting the individual at the cost of everyone else. It would be an interesting recording for his collection.

>Superman, dashing at light speed realizes he only has a few seconds of time!
>Flying into space at speed far beyond what the mortal eye can see, he uses his incredible power to freeze the cosmic energies of space!
>Dashing back before the ice can cool, he makes an ice cream sundae the likes of which the universe has never seen!
>Finding a kid, he feeds it to the kid, imploring him to eat it quickly!
>Brain freeze on an epic scale overtakes the lad and his cries of anguish are skillfully recorded by Superman!
>He gives the recording to Luthor he gleefully claps that he's finally outwitted the Kryptonian!
>"Now shut the device off, you diseased maniac!"
>"Not a chance, Superdolt! I'll keep you under my thumb for the rest of your life!"
>"I suspected as much, Luthor! Which is why I had a new friend take care of things for me!"
>The child bursts in through the wall, with the bomb suspended by his incredible mental energies!
>"Try to get someone to %&$&@& rape me, you bald &%$&#&$#&%&$#&%&$&#&!"
>"Ah no, Superman! HEEEEEEELP!"
>"The cosmic brain freeze will wear off in two minutes Luthor!"
>"Or maybe that's just for Kryptonians..."
>*Superman winks at the reader*

There you go, friendo

what if the Kid WANTED to be raped by Superman. would he do it to save the world?

Suppose Superman refuses to allow anyone else to get raped, so exposes himself to red kryptonite to deage him, then different red kryptonite to erase his memory. Which of his allies does he call in to rape him?

Maxima always wants to be raped by Superman and even he won't give into it.

Ignore the kid. He builds up enough momentum and becomes a flying break that breaks the Kryptonite and the machine

>But there's so much kryptonite that he'd die before he gets to the device. Like 1000 miles of it or something

He blasts it from space with his heat vision

>And even if he does destroy the device, it would have a failsafe and blow up the planet anyways.

He goes to the other side of the planet, digs his way through the earth and the picks up the land mass it's on and throws it all into space

Superman always finds a way

t. Gordon

Just get Flash, Wonder Woman, Martian Man Hunter, or Cap. Marvel to do it. Or just use the Watchtower to teleport Batman to the bomb and diffuse it.