>Hey Peter, did I ever tell you why Captain America and I aren't friends anymore?
>Well, when I followed Steve and his totally platonic friend Bucky to a secret Hydra base, Zemo showed us a super secret security tape. On that tape, I saw Bucky brutally murder my mother and father in cold blood. Good thing the world's greatest assassin made sure to not wear a mask, and did it right in front of a security camera, otherwise Zemo's scheme would have never worked!
>Keep in mind that I was fully aware of the fact that Bucky was cruelly brainwashed by Hydra in order to become a cold-blooded killer, and that I was teammates with Hawkeye, a guy who killed multiple Shield agents under the influence of Loki. I've had a lot of experience with mind control, so anyone in their right mind would have seen that Bucky was not at all responsible for the death of my parents
>Anyways, after watching the video I proceeded to try and brutally murder Bucky, one thing led to another, Steve beat the shit out of me, gave me his shield for some reason, and broke all of the other Avengers out of a ridiculous off-shore prison
Hey Peter, did I ever tell you why Captain America and I aren't friends anymore?
Why do you keep making this thread?
>this thread again
They're autistic and repetition helps them deal with it.
...
>totally platonic friend Bucky
Butt fucking is platonic.
>Did I also forget to mention I'm an emotionally unstable man child who over reacts to most things to deal with trauma including what I just mentioned?
>And the people I considered closest to me all left me, fought against me or were crippled?
MCU has been on the down swing for a while now.
>emotionally unstable man child who over reacts to most things to deal with trauma
>Finding out parent were killed, and the person who did it is in the same room
>over reacts
I'm glad I can hear all of this in his voice.
>Also, I've been fucking your aunt. But not out of lust. I'm gonna pump her and dump her as soon as the baby comes out. If it helps, I'm doing this with at least fifteen to twenty other women in the Five Boroughs alone.
>
>
>It's the only way my seed will find purchase.
I'm not disappointed you remake this thread daily
I'm disappointed you don't have the class to end it with "He was a good friend."
Came here to post this. What has Sup Forums become?
I know it's a pasta but
>so anyone in their right mind would have seen that Bucky was not at all responsible for the death of my parents
>anyone in their right mind
>Just seen a video of your parents being brutally murdered by the guy next to you
>in their right mind
>golly mr. stark did you at least try to capture zemo?
>surely you didn't just forget about him and let him get away
>r-right?
>Also did you know i got brainwashed into putting in effect a killer robot army?
>Like it was totally my idea, but i got brainwashed to literally push the button to do it.
kek
this
>Gay shippers with no friends actually believe this
>It's okay, Tony. I'm fine with it.
Except he knows Zemo is right there and wants him to fight but Tony is just "MUH MOMMY"
I posted the last one, my hands are clean today
Seriously, you mean to tell me that you people wouldn't react violently if you're parents killer was in the same room as you
>Not ending with he was a good friend
This is why Sup Forums is fucking garbage at memes.
HE'S A GEEK
GET IT
BECAUSE LOOK AT HIS SHIRT
jesus christ Marvel has ruined him. Sony got Peter down right, we had the perfect Spider-man in Toby Maguire, we didn't know how good we had it, and now he's gone doing I don't know what. It's all actually quite sad
Just like a person in their right mind right?
It's in line with his non heroic shit character
>aren't friends anymore?
They never were.
Blazzinga
This is why it's so funny