You are John Carter

Matthew Ross
Matthew Ross

You are John Carter... of Earth!?

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=eXBZ2YZiXXE
youtube.com/watch?v=LP2f0vz7Djw
youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6kDn5L9Kg
cnn.com/2018/03/14/health/scott-kelly-dna-nasa-twins-study/index.html

Thomas Barnes
Thomas Barnes

no one watched this movie mate

Brandon Smith
Brandon Smith

HE WAS A CONSUL OF BARSOOM!

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Ryder Anderson
Ryder Anderson

I did. I really liked it too.

Brayden Stewart
Brayden Stewart

same

Adam Young
Adam Young

You are Tim Riggins... of Texas!?

Connor Foster
Connor Foster

fuck sake is any movie safe from these damn memes
i did i loved it, dunno why it got panned it was just a classic disney live action kino

Noah Kelly
Noah Kelly

I watched it but I completely forgot about it. I had to think about it for a bit and see "John Carter" to figure out which movie that screenshot was from.

John Butler
John Butler

You’re not quite red man, not quite white ape. What ARE you?

What did he mean by this

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Luke Butler
Luke Butler

thirded

Isaiah Hughes
Isaiah Hughes

Anyone notice how there’s no black people in this movie?

How’d they get away with it?

Daniel Jackson
Daniel Jackson

Holy fuck marc antony too

Chase Jones
Chase Jones

VORJEANYA

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Oliver Ortiz
Oliver Ortiz

Part time!

Isaiah Roberts
Isaiah Roberts

Disney's late-2000s Atlantis. Tanked the movie by their own incompetence. No one wants to see a vaguely yet somehow over marketed movie about a John Doe-adjacent name.
Disney let this movie down. It's a decent action-adventure sci-fi, and they needed to market it as such instead of with fucking face posters of Taylor Kitsch's grittied face and loose to nonexistent references to the fact it was set on fucking Mars. FUCKING MARS.
That's cool as shit. Normies love Mars.
Should've been the movie that launched Taylor Kitsch into stardom tbqhf. He's such a lad.

Jayden Watson
Jayden Watson

Mark Strong plays Matai Shang, a member of a secretive race that survives by manipulating and destroying societies throughout worlds and parasitically feeding off them
Hero is a straight white male who fought for the confederates in the civil war

You know, I’m starting to realise why Hollywood made John Carter fail

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Cameron Gomez
Cameron Gomez

Good movie, accurately captures the fun adventurous spirit of planetary romance.

Henry Fisher
Henry Fisher

Lynn Collins was so fucking hot in this

Gabriel Jenkins
Gabriel Jenkins

Also

secondary villain is Sab Than, leader of Zadunga, a crawling city that wants to fuck Helium, the decent city

Literally a refugee allegory

Jason Murphy
Jason Murphy

it's the future

Matthew Mitchell
Matthew Mitchell

mars needs moms bombed so they changed the title

Chase Reed
Chase Reed

Dat Dejah

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Brayden Turner
Brayden Turner

Man, it fucking sucks that this bombed

They took a great foundation with the John Carter books, made it modern while still keeping some of the cheesier stuff (jumping super high and having super strength from slightly lower gravity, a city named helium) all while changing some of the truly dumb shit into something really interesting (mainly the therns being legit powerful and not just conmen)

Dominic Wright
Dominic Wright

There are no blacks on mars

Well, except for the black Martians, but they’re basically anti albinos

Gavin Murphy
Gavin Murphy

mars if further away from the sun but is somehow hotter than earth

Shitty writing

Ryan Jackson
Ryan Jackson

The martians are pretty ethnically ambiguous, so there's not a lot of room for complaint.

Liam Lopez
Liam Lopez

Redskins

Eli Parker
Eli Parker

This was a good flick, I enjoyed it but there was maybe too much jumping

Leo Edwards
Leo Edwards

The jumping was cool as fuck though

youtube.com/watch?v=eXBZ2YZiXXE

They took something that sounds utterly retarded in theory, and by making it a joke to begin with, make it believable when he used it to kick ass

John Roberts
John Roberts

Racist much ? Its now called theWashington football team

Nicholas Cook
Nicholas Cook

I saw it with my dad on our days off and he wasn't happy I suggested it. I remember the brown chick being really hot though.

Ethan Scott
Ethan Scott

Woola could’ve been the new R2D2, can see plenty of kids who would’ve bought a plush toy or plastic figure of this thing if they’d actually seen the movie

youtube.com/watch?v=LP2f0vz7Djw

Same with toys based on the ships, and characters for that matter

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Sebastian Watson
Sebastian Watson

SNIVELRY

Sebastian Wood
Sebastian Wood

Look at the fucking state of you

Joshua Jenkins
Joshua Jenkins

Taylor Kitsch
Lynn Collins
Willem DaFoe
Cirean Hinds
Thomas Haden Church
Dominic West
mark Strong
James Purefoy
Bryan Cranston

Such a good cast

Asher Ortiz
Asher Ortiz

It was a different time.

Carson Martin
Carson Martin

I've asked at least a dozen people and they all agreed it was a pretty fun movie

William Turner
William Turner

I liked it I also faped to brownfu

Matthew Smith
Matthew Smith

This movie was unironically good and shit marketing and fucking plebs killed it.

I wish we got more Deja Thoris but noooooooooooooooooooooo fuck this gay Eart- I mean, Jasoom!!!

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Cooper Bennett
Cooper Bennett

Average white girl actress
Turns brown
Becomes superhot

Austin Adams
Austin Adams

also has Atia and Posca in it

Leo Howard
Leo Howard

youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6kDn5L9Kg

this fucking scene is pure kino

Gavin Brooks
Gavin Brooks

I can’t understand why it got so much hate, Hell I’d say it was better than Black Panther by a fucking mile

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Luke Sullivan
Luke Sullivan

But the movie was just bad

Luke Peterson
Luke Peterson

BUT IT IS hotter

Liam Jackson
Liam Jackson

Disney's late-2000s Atlantis. Tanked the movie by their own incompetence. No one wants to see a vaguely yet somehow over marketed movie about a John Doe-adjacent name.
I'll be honest when I saw the name I thought it was a romantic comedy starring Josh Hartnett so this point is spot on.

Juan Martin
Juan Martin

I can't believe they didn't call it "A Princess of Mars" like the original story. A lot of people were confused by this.

Zachary Collins
Zachary Collins

they might not have abandoned it and let it die if it hadn't gone incredibly over budget

When you don't have confidence in a project AND it goes significantly over budget, why waste more millions on advertising it instead of cutting your losses?

Its a shame because it feels like a throwback to family friendly action-adventure films of the past.

Also, there's an entire book about its failure. Pic related.

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Christian White
Christian White

It's just too antiquated. It's a sci-fi movie about a place that literally everyone is familiar with as an airless frozen desert. We see pictures of that shitty planet daily.

It just doesn't work. It's like presenting Venus as a lush jungle planet. We all know it's not, and to pull it off you'd need to heavily alter the setting to some sort of alternate Victorian universe, which they didn't to do.

Other things have suffered the rot of hard-sci-fi as it ages. Aliens called "Heliums" is always going to be weird. Helium is something for balloons, not a magical mystery substance. Star Trek is going to seem as weird as this in a hundred years.

Adam Nguyen
Adam Nguyen

Mars gravity is 38% of Earth's not slightly lower. If we ever go there we'll be able to kick the faggy asses of whatever aliens we find.

Aaron Torres
Aaron Torres

how dis make you feel, red skin?

Lincoln Parker
Lincoln Parker

If you go there your DNA will keep changing until you eventually die. All the aliens have to do is wait you out.

cnn.com/2018/03/14/health/scott-kelly-dna-nasa-twins-study/index.html

Gabriel Davis
Gabriel Davis

Lack of attention to detail killed this movie. Those hills behind him are clearly sedimentary and as such are hardly convincing as Martian rocks. The sky is the wrong colour also.

Logan Lewis
Logan Lewis

Who's to say my DNA won't change to make me stronger and more charismatic?

Ethan Price
Ethan Price

Would have been a success if they stuck more closely to the books. With everyone being nude and all.

Henry Jones
Henry Jones

This. Unironically.

Zachary Morales
Zachary Morales

las creaturas...

Alexander Martinez
Alexander Martinez

the lead chick was fucking hot

Carson Jenkins
Carson Jenkins

That looks fucking faggoted.

Connor Thomas
Connor Thomas

After this is when Disney started to bribe the critics

Benjamin Perry
Benjamin Perry

no hips mutt
hot

Landon Mitchell
Landon Mitchell

In a different timeline Disney never bought Marvel and Star Wars and John Carter was the beginning of the end for them.

Leo Adams
Leo Adams

OK Google, what is a "magnetosphere" and does Mars have one?

Jordan Roberts
Jordan Roberts

Mars does not, does not have a significant atmosphere and therefore does not retain heat. It has more radiation but is freezing.

Owen Brown
Owen Brown

Dat burial scene

Joshua Baker
Joshua Baker

Magnetosphere doesn't affect temperature

Mars has more "radiation" in the sense of charged particles from the solar wind. But they don't heat up a planet. They just blast your DNA as said. Mars receives about half as much heat and light from the Sun as does the Earth.

Zachary Ward
Zachary Ward

I was too late once, I won’t be again

Eh? But his family died in a fire

Lincoln Price
Lincoln Price

Nobody wants to watch a movie about a princess

Noah Collins
Noah Collins

it still managed to gross almost $300 million worldwide.
it was a huge bomb because of its retardedly high budget.

Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall

Should've just called it Barsoom.

Thomas Murphy
Thomas Murphy

Too bad James Purefoy isn’t in The Terror with Ciarán Hinds.

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Zachary Evans
Zachary Evans

Ver-GEEN-Yah

Jose Scott
Jose Scott

El Atrocidad de las Phobos

Grayson Butler
Grayson Butler

Overmarketed? It was hardly marketed at all that's why no one has fucking heard of it

Hudson Torres
Hudson Torres

It was fucking shite and the only reason anyone is pretending otherwise is because nobody else saw it.
Grow up

Noah Roberts
Noah Roberts

gaaaAAAAAaaaaAAAAAaaaaAAAAAaaayyyyyy

Isaiah Perez
Isaiah Perez

my bro
its the ultimate redemption scene of proto-capeshit
john carter helped set off everything

Josiah Young
Josiah Young

I don't remember it getting hate as much as people just ignored it - and Disney's weak-ass marketing campaign for it didn't help

I still think if they'd called it Warlord of Mars instead of John Carter, people might've taken a moment to look into it

Camden Mitchell
Camden Mitchell

all i remember is the ads comparing it favorably to star wars, for one your movie should stand on its own and two thats a little arrogant when the movie wasnt even released

Bentley Foster
Bentley Foster

In another even better time line : John Carter became a massive hit and let to a team up with Tarzan

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