What would he have done with Middle-earth?

What would he have done with Middle-earth?

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Socialism.

Industrialization

raised taxes

He wouldn't of been very nice

No casual Fridays

autistically ruled it

To what end?

probably some weird Orc superhighways or some shit

he taxed millions...

Eugenics

You're in the club and this guy slaps your gf's ass and says 'Ommig Khurg undum-ishi. 'Agh burzum ishi, krimpatul!'"

How do you respond?

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he would have taxidermied all the corpses of the dudes and elfs and stuff and used them as gi joe's and middle earth would be like his room where he played with his toys

me in the top left

>Global cult of Melkor
>Use slaves to gather riches from whole world
>Work on gathering knowledge of everything
>Probably defy the Valar

that is a fucking hilarious image, thank you for that user

Ask how big Ar Pharazons dick was.

>haHAA dude niggers and blacks cant into highways XD! XD

Back to Sup Forums with you brainlet

Are you feeling okay?

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Are orcs just retarded mindless slaves? Is that canon? Do they have free will? Do they have culture? Just a middle earth full of orcs seems like a very strange image to me. I have never read the books, but in the films they are extremely two dimensional creatures and I can't imagine what they would do once everyone was dead and they ruled middle earth. What does "the age of the orc" look like? People fighting and building towers and shit for no reason? What is the point? It's confusing.

i cut his fingers with my sword

Think of an ant colony. Or chinese factory workers.

Tolkien never elaborated because he was a hack

>Are orcs just retarded mindless slaves?
No, read the books. The part were they take hobbits to Isengard and another with banter between two captains in Cirith Ungol.

They're not mindless they are just obedient to their god, orcs fight each other so have different opinions, they also know what menus are so when they visit orc restaurants they have a number of options to choose from also showing they have free will

>What does "the age of the orc" look like?
Destruction of beauty in favour of nihilistic 'efficiency'

and where is he getting the money to maintain those roads? do the orcs pay taxes?

read the last ringbearer

>The novel is based on the premise that the Tolkien account is a "history written by the victors".[2][3] In Eskov's version of the story, Mordor is described as a peaceful country on the verge of an industrial revolution, that is a threat to the war-mongering and imperialistic faction represented by Gandalf (whose attitude has been described by Saruman as "crafting the Final Solution to the Mordorian problem") and the elves.[2] For example, Barad-dûr, Sauron's citadel, is described in chapter 2 as

...that amazing city of alchemists and poets, mechanics and astronomers, philosophers and physicians, the heart of the only civilization in Middle-earth to bet on rational knowledge and bravely pitch its barely adolescent technology against ancient magic. The shining tower of the Barad-dûr citadel rose over the plains of Mordor almost as high as Orodruin like a monument to Man – free Man who had politely but firmly declined the guardianship of the Dwellers on High and started living by his own reason. It was a challenge to the bone-headed aggressive West, which was still picking lice in its log ‘castles’ to the monotonous chanting of scalds extolling the wonders of never-existing Númenor.

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Orcs have to rent tents when they're camped, they also have to pay the smith to repair their armor who in turn has to pay to be provided some land in their camp and pays for a blacksmith license, there are numerous restaurants in orc camps who pay a license fee to serve meat and alcohol

>ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul
what did he mean by this?

Call him a fag because he wears ring and not married. What is he gonna do, strike me with a club?

>the last ringbearer
>Nik Perumov books
Russians sure love to rewrite Tolkien.

What do you think black would do if they inherited the world? They seem to be two dimensional creatures that just rape and build shanty towns. The worse a group the more mindlessly power hungry it is.

If Sauron won you'd have the modern world, but with orcs.

That he likes shitty virgin bands like burzum instead of alpha chad bands like pentagram

To develop an orc space program so he can shit on the moon to piss off the Ainur since they'll have to clean it up

Criminally underrated logic

Neckbeards that nitpick every other franchise in history get really triggered if you ask this quesiton.

GRRM wasn't even criticizing Tolkein, he was talking about narrative differences and styles, yet they're still not over it

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Maybe one day you'll understand memes are just jokes and people don't actually care as much about the subject as you think they do

>when the big booty orc waiter comes to your table and you tryna look cool

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Put a tariff on Mithril

kek have a (you), you magnificent bastard

I know you're just a twink under that armor and Morgoth is the real dark lord faggot.

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Why didn't Sauron just politely ask for the ring?

one world government, world bank, cause micro wars and civil wars based on the struggle for resources while financing them, funnel most of it to his tribe, profit off all wars on middle earth and destroy humankind by diluting their blood with orc blood.

JRR Tolkein intended this parralel to be made. It is no coincidence that Mordor is in the East, like the Soviet Union.

I haven't read Silmarillion, just some a bits of here and there from wikia and LOTR threads.
Weren't Valar so OP that even if Sauron controlled all of Middle Earth, they could just arrive and unfuck all that shit in a day?

>Weren't Valar so OP that even if Sauron controlled all of Middle Earth, they could just arrive and unfuck all that shit in a day?

Yes but they wouldnt, sending eagles was a huge deal as it was.

its a metaphor for technology being used for absolute domination and centralization of power. the one ring is potentially anything that has the power to coerce nearly everyone to their will.

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Yesh. They fucked up Morgoths shit 2 times before and Sauron is just a lowly maiar to them. Sauron could have destroyed the whole of middleearth but as soon as he tried to move to Amar they would snip their fingers and blown his ass the fuck out.

But it makes one wonder why the Valar sometimes waited for Morgoth to fuck shit up, and then intervene - but not sooner. Did they wait for Eru to tell them it's ok? Not that I remember.
The Valar were just lazy I guess.

The War of Wrath almost destroyed Middle-Earth, after which they swore to not intervene again (since Morgoth was gone anyway).

Sauron did N O T H I N G wrong

>implying

>they also know what menus are so when they visit orc restaurants they have a number of options to choose from also showing they have free will
this is kino

And when they are almost caught by the scout and the sniffer orc.

And the part where they are forced to march with the orcs.

Sorry but people who haven’t read the books should fucking neck themselves.

It's Gods will.

youtube.com/watch?v=RRzVYYESyv4
It definitely sends chills down the spine.

>Palantir Technologies is a private American software and services company which specializes in big data analysis.
>The company gets its name from The Lord of the Rings, as a palantír was an object that could be used to communicate to or see far away parts of the world.
jesus christ

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Send my dog against him.

yes but they really don't like intervening in middle earth. they only do when they absolutely have to. sauron know this, and attempted to use it to his advantage by having ar-phazaron invade aman and fight the valar, assuming (correctly) that the valar would blow the fuck out of a human army.

the valar, however, didn't want to slaughter thousands of humans and so they asked eru to intervene.

Whenever they directly intervene, they destroy parts of middle earth.

Tax reform.

Mordor is Turkey, orcs are muslims, and Gondor is Belgrade. Based Tolkien foreshadowed kebab removing

Why is reddit humour so trash?

Back to Sup Forums

>le serbs are le based kebeb remover meme
Serbs are asiatic hordes themselves, the wall of Western Civilization is Croatia
>based putin saviour of the white race tho
no

TURK IS EPIC. TURK IS SAINT. TURK IS GOD

mfw sauron is less evil then those people

>Black Speech becomes the official language of Middle-earth.
>No one can speak a sentence without the earth shaking.

Croatians are catholic serbs

rape

You have to wonder what their tax policy is

I want to kill you right now.

The biggest human centipede ever.

>Gondor is Belgrade
Sup Forums is laughing at you

Made it great again.

Why, what did i ever do to them