What if John Constantine became a teacher at Hogwarts?

What if John Constantine became a teacher at Hogwarts?

He put his pengis in hermoine

>What if John Constantine became a teacher at Hogwarts?


Teacher my ass.

HEADMASTER

I would join just for the pleasure of seeing the world burn.

Wouldn't turn up often and anytime he did he'd be busy shagging someone in the jacks or smoking out the back with students

Hermione works already at the ministry.

I don't think he's that kinda guy. He'd be sharing smokes and booze with the kids though, totally.

Hermonie would get fucked so quick.

Harry would be put in his place.

Ron would probably grow a pair and Snape would be John's mad exboyfriend

Read Mystic U to find out

Why is John a pedo in this AU?

He would probably get some kids killed, that's for sure

What if john constantine became a black homosexual transgender antifa?

Constantine as the DADA teacher in like, book 5 would be awesome.

What students he didn't get pregnant become horrible mauled. Or worst, they get their souls expelled from their body.

this

and doom

and zatanna

and layla miller

and dr strange

but the real question is what would happen to batman if constantine were the joker? at hogwarts

when isn't john a pedo in any AU

I imagine it would be like Channel 4's Educating Manchester.

But with The Exorcist.

He'd call everyone there a faggot, both students and teachers
He'd kill half of his class on a field trip to hell
And before anyone would move against him, he'd be long gone with every magic artifact he could swipe before leaving

He's already bi, and a reincarnation of The Constant One who was once Lady Joanna Constantine. He also shit-talks some skinheads in Delano's run, so he's pretty antifa.

John's a cocksucker himself, on what grounds can he call someone a faggot?

Or tosser, or wanker, or whatever cockney bullshit you want

Shit then he may as well be headmaster

What if Zatanna was the new defence against the dark arts teacher?

Why in gods name would you post that god awful costume?

Rip Astra

better?

Its either classy magician or bust

John would be pretty close to antifa. He shit talks any kind of authority all the time.

...

...

So, the Defense Against the Dark Arts position is jinxed. Constantine has horrible luck. Would the end result be something nightmarish, or would the bad luck from the two kind of cancel each other out?

>"The truth about magic is, any old cunt born with wizard blood can do it."

It's already several bad fan fictions. Usually he butt fucks Hagrid, burns down the castle and drinks himself to death.

So you're saying he would fit right in?

Arrested for raping a Weasly.

God I miss the old Hellblazer. Why can't they get those writers, or whats left of them, to work on the new Hellblazer comics?