I am Batman. The Batman. From Gotham City. That Batman. -DC Comics, 2018

BATMAN by Brian Michael Bendis

There’s a new villain in Gotham. He’s a young, up and coming gangster, he’s had enough with the current status quo.

He begins: I’m the boss here now. We’re under new management. I’m telling you, this is how things are going to be: NEW RULES in this house. MY RULES. We’ll branch out. Take over Gotham, one neighbor after the other. Nobody is going to stop us. This time, we make the city our own. Anyone messes with us? We kill him.

Gordon? We kill him.

The Bat? We. Kill. Him.

To punctuate the meeting, New Boss attacks and kills B-Listman. Now we know he’s a man we have to be afraid of.

New Boss has a new drug that will make the streets go crazy… Kryptonian growth hormone. Whatever the hell that is.

Nightwing shows up. He makes a joke. The punchline is “Blue Beetle is lame”. Because Blue Beetle is a not an A-Lister, he doesn’t deserve respect, y’see. Also he dresses like a Blue Beetle. LAUGH YOU SHEEP.

Here comes Killer Moth. He’s funny, everyone laugh at him!

Crossover issue. Superman is in Gotham. He faces a drug dealer. The drug dealer says “Y'know, I didn’t believe you actually existed!”

Batgirl talks to Bruce. “Why do I have to be BatGIRL? It feels so unfair!” After that, a comic site runs an article: BENDIS THE FEMINIST FIGHTS THE GOOD FIGHT FOR US ALL

Here comes Killer Moth again. He probably has a serious mental disorder. Also, he’s funny, everyone laugh at him.

Batgirl faces New Boss. She’s beaten to a pulp in a weirdly sexual manner to prove what a badass he is. After that, nobody talks about it.

New Boss fights Batman. New Boss screams “IT’S DONE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU LEFT ME WITH NO CHOICE. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF,” regardless if it makes sense or not in context.

New Boss is defeated, turns into a massive crying snivelling bitch. Twelve issues later he comes back, and we’re supposed to still see him as a badass.

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>To punctuate the meeting, New Boss attacks and kills B-Listman. Now we know he’s a man we have to be afraid of.
Also, he constantly shit-talks superheroes and supervillains, calling them "weirdos" and "costumed freaks" and the like, because lol I'm so above the genre I write.

Thanks. I've wanted to read these

What OC will be added to the bat family

kek

You seriously wasted what precious little time you had in making this post?

This already just sounds like a generic Batman story.

How many times have you posted this this week?

You got my hopes up OP, at least Bendis's Batman would be more readable than BAT CAT

How long till the Society of Evil abducts him gives him books to read about Villainy?

The best part of this whole disaster is that his departure is pretty much an admission of guilt from Marvel that Bendis is no longer as successful as he used to. There have been rumors circling around that Civil War II was such a financial bomb on top of being a critical flop - you'd be hard pressed to find even the most staunch Marvel shills willing to say nice things about that event because 1) event fatigue 2) obvious cashgrab 3) not as good as the original Civil War. CWII did so badly they tried extending the event allegedly because Bendis did not like the original ending, but that is total bullshit: he always intended Riri to replace Tony and have Carl Manvers as the winner of the conflict. He extended that event to get some extra crash. And not to soon that event was over, they tried their best to erase it with Secret Empire.

Marvel didn't let Bendis go, the Benis ditched them.

>not as good as the original Civil War
That is such a fucking understatement. CWII is by far the worse crossover event Marvel has ever published. The plot is so ass backwards retarded. by the time you finish reading it you realize none of it fucking mattered and the entire thing was pointless.

LOL

DC just offered im a role in their TV and Cinematic universe. Which he wanted and was denied by Marvel. You know Ganke becoming Ned Leeds etc. God help me if DC didn't headhunt him the retards.

>New Boss has a new drug that will make the streets go crazy… Kryptonian growth hormone.

Ha! OP confirmed for being Bendis.

Another black kid, but this time he's better than Batman.

Sounds like King.

Wow it's like having Brian Michael Bendis posting on Sup Forums!

he stole it from this

Batman madly fall in love with a tall black man and they have child who becomes batman but better.

>undead Nazi version

Wait, NeoGaf turned into Sup Forums?

>I can shoot neofags in the next cowadoody
wtf i love activision now

And even (you) a fatfuck could write better than the baldfuck

Illuminating Comics wrote it not OP, and he consistently writes better than 90% of Marvel has in the past few years

His parodies are out of this world.

He will just probably make one of the Robins a trans gender asexual.
My Money is on Damian.

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