Can’t spin webs

>Can’t spin webs
>Can’t envenomate people with his bite

Why the fuck is he called Spider-Man if his only powers are jumping and higher strength? Might as well call him Grasshopper-Man.

Trying a new variation on this meme, eh?

Grasshoppers aren't cool.

Because he was bitten by a spider, scale walls, created a synthetic spider like silk and called himself Spider-Man.
Simply, isn't?

Because he wasn't bitten by a grasshopper you fuckin retard

>Get bitten by spider
>Call yourself grasshopper.

>Why the fuck is he called Spider-Man if his only powers are jumping and higher strength?

Because he deliberately chose to pattern himself off of the organism that granted him his powers.

Then read Spider-Man 2099.

Say that to my mask motherfucker

Because a spider gave him his powers, dingus.

>his powers
>literally gave him only 3 of the bajllion peculair features a spider has
>didn't even grant him the most important and distinguished one

Should've called himself Hafl-a-Spider-Man

>Can't spin webs
He can
>Can't envenomate people with his bite
He can
He did in the past, Peter never tapped into his powers much because he doesn't like in what he turns into and more times than not other people has to help him to become more human again

Read comics

>Wolverines don't have retractable metal claws
>Wolverines don't have metal skeleton
>Wolverines aren't weebs
>Calls himself Wolverine
Why?

>Powers granted by a nuclear explosion have nothing to do with hydrogen fision and atom spliting
Hulk makes no sense

Because he got his powers by being bitten by a radioactive spider, not a grasshopper.

He did though. Spider is only the first half of Spider-Man.

Why is he called Iron Man when he isn't made of iron?

>Iron Man
>just a regular man wearing armor that isn't even iron
W-what?!

>HULK SMASH THE ATOM!

But shouldn't he then be only half a man too?
Wait... how big is Pete's petey?

>Read comics
>Suggesting someone should read Stracsomething shitty run

How about you shut the fuck up.

He isn't very nice when the "spider" takes control that's why he avoids tapping into that power

Iron mind

Stop with that totem garbage.

>He thinks the totem run is the only time Peter went to far into the animal kingdom

>He's more man than spider
>Doesn't call himselfe Man-Spider

Come on now

That's a consequence of the radiation/mutation, nothing to do with "tapping" into shit.

>is called Von Doom
>is a gypsy and not some german from a city called "Doom
Pathetic.

The first suit was, besides it sounds cool.

>"Why doesn't have spider powers?"
>Post Spider-man with spider powers
>"DOESNT COUNT REEEEEE"

Spider is used as an adjective.

>posts that clearly reference totem garbage
>other poster tells him to stop
>BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT OTHER THING

Sorry you are incapable of following basic conversation.

The conversation was "why does he call himself spider-man if he doesn't have spider powers", he had, many times, you keep moving the goalpost with "totem doesn't count", "mutation doesn't count", etc. You're wrong, deal with it and move on.

>"why does he call himself spider-man if he doesn't have spider powers",
Not every post in a thread refers to the OP.
Stop being retarded, stop posting and lurk at least for one more year.

Better question: How come the one spider that escaped his cage only bit one person? You would think that he will update bite alot of people before enevitably getting squished.

My post refered to OP, you replied to me saying it didn't count, stop moving the goalpost and entering in other conversations if you aren't going to follow the conversation.

>My post refered to OP,
Your first post speicifcally referred to totem garbage, you're changing the subject to appear less of an idiot.
Thing is, you already outed yourself as one the moment you brought up that spider totem shit, so no needy to backpedal.

Man, you love that goalpost moving, you know you're still wrong, right, deal with it and move on, stop fixating on your mistakes it will only make you look more stupid.

>Implying

All spiders don’t spin webs.
(all produce silk some just don’t use it I guess)
And not all spiders are venomous!

The real thing that is indicative of spiders that he doesn’t share is having eight limbs and a single head and thorax.

It did, it bit Cindy who became a spider-powered hero called Silk

That's the joke. Spider-Man doesn't have any actual "spider" powers.

His spidey-sense is just psychic precognition.
His wall crawling is just electrostatic force manipulation.
His strength, agility, speed, and stamina are just common super powers.

>He hasn't read Spider-Man: The Other
See

I thought a ring gave him his powers.

We already have that.

And then someone else ate the spider and turned into a hiveminded mass of spiders.

because he wants to be called that
what are you gonna do? fight him?

you're thinking of Dr Strange

This

>thats the joke
youre kidding right? i doubt stan lee was thinking about this grand joke of a spider-themed character who doesnt have real spider powers

Reminder that natural web shooting is the patrician way.

>Not having webshooters with a bunch of different web variations

>His wall crawling is just electrostatic force manipulation.
Van der Waals force, just like spiders. Inform yourself before posting.

Originally his chest was turned into an iron breastplate though, if I recall. He was fused to it at least.

>iron man, iron man, does whatever an iron can
>except removing wrinkles from a shirt

>Isn't blind
>Doesn't navigate primarily via echo location
>Does not sleep upside down

Why the fuck is he called the Bat man?

Even just 1 power from a radioactive animal biting you would be more than enough justification to model your vigilante identity off of it. Your expectations here are completely inane.

My normie friend legit thought Iron Man was a transformer kind of robot man until he saw the movie.

He has a spider penis.

>natural web shooting is the patrician way
There's nothing patrician about being so retarded that you think it'd make any sort of sense for web sacs to form inside your wrists organically.
>inb4 b-but other comic things don't make sense either!
Suspension of disbelief has its limits, and there is no way to make it anywhere close to believable that this sort of thing would magically happen in your wrists.

He actually has a suit of iron specially made to fuck with faeries and elfs.

At least there's some connection, what with the spider bite. Why is Wolverine named such? There's no resemblance, physically or costume, and he doesn't even have that animal's tenacity. Not really.

There's wolverines in Canada. That's literally the reason.

>Wolverines are known to fight animals far larger than themselves.
>His first appearance was him fighting the Wendigo and Hulk

Christ, I remember the part where he ate his mom, wore her skin and got into bed with his father. That fucking Tory is something else.