That one kid who gets you bed sheets for your birthday

>that one kid who gets you bed sheets for your birthday

>They're HIS bedsheets.

>invite ghetto bitch from school to birthday
>hands me the invitation with a small fun size pack of nerds
>”okay, wheres the present?”
>she gets offended and replies “I GAVE YOU NERDS”
>MFW

It's cold as fuck tonight, those bed sheets will make you warm and toasty

>They're covered in cum

>fuck friends mother until she bleeds
>gift him the bloody bedsheets for his birthday

>buy a kid a digimon v3 for his birthday
>put it in a clock radio box for lulz
>he was disappointed that he didn't get a clock radio

>They're HER bedsheets.

I would unironically give a small child one of the dolls ive cummed on

It must be nice to be so first-world that you expect birthday gifts from outside your immediate family and you still don't appreciate a gift you'll use every night.

>he actually used them

>Invite everyone in my grade to a massive birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese
>Spend hours waiting
>No one shows up
>Father doesn't show up
>Marks four years since I've seen my father.
>Climb up into tubes
>Cry
>Older sister starts making fun of me when I get home

Honestly seems more creepy than anything else. It's like buying someone tighty-whiteys. Yeah, you're probably gonna use them just to not let it go to waste, but that just seems weird.

fuck user I'm sorry

They were Buzz Lightyear bedsheets. I know back in the 90s, you could get a kid ANYTHING with Pokemon on it and they'd eat it up.

>invite everyone from school to my 10th birthday party
>have it be Monsters, Inc. themed, even the cake and balloons
>no one shows up
>mom takes me to the movie theaters anyways to try and cheer me up
>tell her I changed my mind and want to watch the Jimmy Neutron movie
>don't tell her it's because I want to see what it's like to have friends

>No one shows up
>Marks four years since I've seen my father.
>Older sister starts making fun of me when I get home
Jesus christ user, i am truely very sorry for your shit childhood and awful family. I disnt have almost any friends either in school so i know what its like to be alone. Also, is your sister hot?

>>tell her I changed my mind and want to watch the Jimmy Neutron movie
>>don't tell her it's because I want to see what it's like to have friends
I didnt ask for these feels tonight

It only got worse from there.
>One year after Chuck-E-Cheese incident.
>Invite no one to birthday for fear no one will show up.
>Talk to my dad on the phone the night before.
>He promises he'll be there and that we'll go fishing.
>Wake up on my birthday happy as shit.
>Older sister starts poking fun at me, saying I didn't invite anyone because of Chuck-E-Cheese.
>Ignore her, too happy.
>Grandmother (who I thought to be my actual mom till later on) asks if I want to eat my cake for breakfast, knowing why I didn't invite anyone.
>Tell her no
>Tell her not to celebrate till my dad's here.
>My eldest sister in her last year of college (not the dickhead one. Also, she turned out to be my actual mother) tells me I maybe shouldn't get my hopes up.
>Yell at her.
>Pull up a stool to window and sit waiting for him.
>Entire day passes.
>Fall asleep on the stool
>Next morning my grandfather (thought to be step dad) has a broken nose
>Apparently my dad showed up at 3 am drunk and tried to start a fist fight over my grandfather calling him a piece of shit.
No, I don't find her to be particularly hot, but maybe that's because she's still a massive cunt to me. However, there was this one girl who bullied me at school who I believe to have given me my giantess fetish, so do with that what you will.

A LUNCHBOX?

Fuck. Hope you're in a better spot in life, user

That damn bastard knows me better than anyone else. I love him. Hope to pop his sisters cherry in them.

>daddy has a choice to go on fishing trip or fight a grandpa
>proceeds to assault grandpa and loses

What.
I... I just hope you have a better life from this point onwards.

Fuck dude. Honestly, you should cut your cunt sister out of your life. Doesn't sound like she'll be getting any kinder.

Consider killing yourself

I guess you thought that the last birthday failure was a one night stand

This thread got too real for me. I came to laugh, to forget I don't have any friends and a gf that loves me, that I am not spending my night alone at home.

I'd say I'm at least trying to turn it into a positive thing. I'm working for a degree in physics to prove I'm not my father. Turns out he was a rapist, by the way, hence why my sister doesn't like me. Sucks I need 100 on my final Monday to pass my math class, but that's life.
I did a long time ago, but we still have to see each other on holidays and it's a nightmare.
Currently am honestly.
That would imply it was my last failure. The ones during 7th and 8th grade were kinda shit, but those were from my own actions.

For lunch!

>turned out to be your actual mother
i thought only disney channel shows had people who would tell this to a child

i wish for nought but happiness in your future, user.

>...to prove I'm not my father. Turns out he was a rapist, by the way, hence why my sister doesn't like me
Oh fuck dude, I am so sorry for you and your ma.

I hope your dad is having the worst time right now.

Jesus Christ... just fuck...

Your older sister was actually your mother?

c'mere sweet child

Hey this thread looks like it'll be good for a laugh...

...oh.

Actually, no one from my family told me. Kids who picked on me at school did. It was a k-12 school and she attended there when she was pregnant with me. Due to it being an ultra conservative Christian school parents would talk about it constantly like it was a massive scandal, prompting their kids to make fun of me. Things finally started to click together though after that thankfully.
Thanks user. It's corny, but you strangers online are the closest thing I have to a relationship with someone.
Talked about it on an /adv/ thread, but I wouldn't know. He's been texting me every day since 11th grade saying "love you, please call". After he lied about cancer to get me to call him I started ignoring all of them. Sorta makes me feel a bit scummy though every time I ignore them.
Yep. Turns out the other sisters were really my aunts. I do have a legitimate little sister though, she's still in elementary. I hook up fighting games for us to play together when I see her. She likes the Spider-Man & Elsa youtube videos for some reason though

Also that same guy from the Samurai Jack thread who's first kiss was actually a massive prank if anyone was wondering.